A Cry for Love

Random thoughts….

This is a reflection of an article I read recently – about an Anorexia Sufferer. I have never been an Anorexic but since a teenager left a touching comment on my Pro Ana Anorexic Hub – I set up a Tweeter Account to Tweet useful info to help people who suffer from the Disorder. If you know anyone who suffers from this disorder, The account is at:

http://twitter.com/Care4Anorexics

Sorry to digress…

A lady tweeted an Anorexic article to this account and as I read it, my thoughts ran deep. The person suffering anorexia actually liked it when she was sick and getting attention from people.

Looking closely, I think sufferers of bulimia, anorexia or other eating disorders are just crying out for love and acceptance. I’m trying to get my head round it. It’s either they are not getting love from home / family or they are being taunted by “friends”, possibly in school. Also, it could be to look slim like Celebrities who have the “perfect” look, which still comes down to wanting to be loved/accepted.

Karen Carpenter died of Anorexia - I have watched a movie portraying her life and she so desperately wanted her mother to tell her how much she loved her, but she didn't. I researched the story further and found out she wanted acceptance from her Mum. Story

Another thing is, due to the economy. As much as parents love their kids, some hardly see them due to work. They might even have shifts that make it impossible to spend at least 2 hours with their kids during the week. Some kids are very sensitive and could start thinking their parents don’t love them especially when they hear about what fun other kids have with their parents.

Have you noticed on many occasions when parents divorce, the child thinks he/she did something wrong to split up mummy and daddy – that’s the mind of a child...

If they think that way, then imagine what would run through their minds, when parents don't have time to spend with them. (even though they love their kids) I could be wrong but I think if the bond between kids/Teens and parents is strong, Eating disorders would be on the decrease and if kids are being taunted in school, parents would help them deal with it.

Quote: “Your children need your presence more than your presents.” Jesse Jackson

In UK, the government are making dramatic cuts. In a year or so, there will be no more financial child benefit. This will mean more financial pressure on parents, some might have to get 2 jobs or increase the hours working, hence less quality time with kids. I think our economy has definitely contributed to the deterioration of our kids health. According to statistics, One in three hospital admissions (UK) for eating disorders involves a child. http://fb.me/JRS8xM9q

.

Then there is the issue of Suicide.

Some are very loved but still feel depressed and commit suicide. Some feel they have nothing to live for and end it all… Mike Lickteig wrote an interesting Hub on this: http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Lure-of-Suicide-A-Crisis-Intervention

Suicide is on the increase but again, I feel it’s a cry for love, for happiness, for peace, for acceptance.

…… or do you think I’m reading too much into it? Should it be a case of “what will be, will be?”

¸.·'★•:

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Comments 37 comments

H P Roychoudhury profile image

H P Roychoudhury 5 years ago from Guwahati, India

The existence of life is based on love and affection. It starts from the birth. A baby needs the love and care of the mother. I suppose all sorts of depression or mental disease originates from the lack of love of the dear one. It is because charity begins at home. The love leads to universal brotherhood or the reverse – a war of tension. This is the system of the creatures of the Globe. Excellent hub.


Vladimir Uhri profile image

Vladimir Uhri 5 years ago from HubPages, FB

Lady_E, thank you for this Hub.


Robwrite profile image

Robwrite 5 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

Much of what we do, especially when we are young, is designed to get attention and evoke a reaction out of people. Teens tend to be more sensitive than older people and they often make more dramatic gestures, like anorexia and cutting. What's sad is that, so often, these cries for help are missed, which leads to suicide.


Laura du Toit profile image

Laura du Toit 5 years ago from South Africa

It's heart rendering that so many people feel unloved and unaccepted. Most of the time its a case of not necessarily not being loved but more a case of not being reassured of this love. Let this hub be a wake-up call to all of us and remind us how important it is not only to demonstrate our love but to assure young people close to us of their importance and uniqueness. Keep well Lady E


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Dear Lady E : Your hub is wonderful and educational. Love should be one of the easiest things anyone could give to another human being. It is a shame there never seems to be enough to go around. God Bless you Dear Heart.


JDove-Miller profile image

JDove-Miller 5 years ago from YOUNGSVILLE

I think you probably got it right that when both parents work outside the home and they both come home tired, there's little energy left to give major attention to the kids. Anorexia is cropping up in children as young as eleven. That is so very sad...


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

** Thanks HP Roy - That is so true. Regards.

** Hi Vladimir - Thanks for stopping. Hope all is well.

** Thanks Robwrite - I agree, its sad that the cries for help are missed. Best Wishes.

** Hello Laura - I like the way you put it "being reassured of this love." This helps me understand it better because lots of parents do love their kids deep down. Nice to see you again.

** God Bless you too - Stars439. Thanks for sharing those interesting comments. Hope you and family are enjoying the weekend.

** Thanks JDove-Miller - I know lots of parents out there love their kids but they have to work round the clock. House repossesson (forclosure) is on the increase. I hope somehow we can strike a balance. Glad you stopped by. Best Wishes.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Thank you Lady E for presenting this hub and opening our minds to the problems confronting parents and children by being separated from each other for reasons of not spending enough quality time with our children. I have had my struggles with divorce and it has left me without my children in my life as often as I would like. We both lose and it's sad.


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Being told that you are loved is to be treasured always. All too often people fail to tell someone that they are loved until it is too late. There are fewer things that matter in this world than the power of love. To be truly loved is a remarkable experience. Thank you Lady_E for reminding us. Great hub.


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 5 years ago from I'm outta here

Oh what a powerful truth. I feel people also over eat for the same reason, eating feels like your being cared for, as we have been fed and nurtured as a child. Many of us crave to be cared for and regardless if feeding ourselves or creating a noteable issue or condition we are all reaching for the human contact, love and affection we crave and must be missing. I'm impressed with you and bringing to light this issue with your cry for love! Peace:)


authorfriendly profile image

authorfriendly 5 years ago from Charleston, SC

As someone who has helped both anorexic and bulimic patients, I think it is usseful to understand that they are not only diffenet disorders, but are characterized by differenet personalities, and yes, different relationships to food. While anorexics, typically see food as an enemy, needing to be controlled, most bulimics simply feel helpless in the face of food, and get swept away by the experience.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

** Hello Saddlerider - thanks for sharing those comments. Life.... no parent can spend the time they really want with their kids when divorced (what with custody etc) but I hope kids in that situation would hold on to the fact that their parents still do love and Cherish them. Bless you.

** Thanks Acaetnna, for sharing those comments. Love is Powerful. Glad you stopped by.

** Hi Katie - that's agood point. Some take it to the other extreme. Thanks for your warm comments. Best Wishes.

** Thanks Authorfriendly - I'm glad you gave an insight into the world of anorexic and bulimic people. There is still so much I have to learn about them. Glad you stopped by to share that.


andromida profile image

andromida 5 years ago

Very thoughtful hub.I think UK govt. becoming very hard about child benefits. I think celebrities have lots of scope of work to raise anorexia awareness among kids.thank you.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

A very thought provoking topic. There are many eating disorders. Over eating is a real problem. I too think it,s a cry for love, so many obese children. I read that this will be the first generation who will not out-live their parents. That is so sad. Thank you for a well written hub.

Love and Peace


drpastorcarlotta profile image

drpastorcarlotta 5 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

A always Lady_E, thank you for a well written Hub, and thank you for caring!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your a blessing!


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 5 years ago from Philippines

There had been many stories of people who aren't expressive of their love toward their loved ones, I mean in words, who found themselves lamenting over a lost loved one who never heard them say, "I Love You".

While it's good to show our love through good deeds, there's much more harm to it than if we don't openly express that love. Children need our open expression of our love to them, it's their security blanket. Couples must never underestimate the power of love by just saying simply, I love you, over and over again, to their partners in the most unexpected ways. It's magical. Thanks Lady_E for this well-written hub.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

Lady_E I think you read it perfectly. It is a lack of love and affection I am sure.


amorea13 5 years ago

Thank you Lady E - a lovely, sensitive hub which reveals your compassion. I very much appreciated reading this - it's a subject I know very little about but I thank you for drawing my attention to it here.

Beautiful, evocative pictures too. Thank you again.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 5 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

This is such an emotional issue. Everyone needs love and acceptance just as much as they need food and water. Without love, we are just as injured as if living without food or water. Sometimes circumstances keep us from showing love for our children, or sometimes that just isn't "our way," but when young people feel unloved, both physical and emotional issues result. Your article is a perfect example of this, and it is important that we are all reminded to show others we care.

Thanks so much for a thought-provoking article.

Mike


Philipo profile image

Philipo 5 years ago from Nigeria

Lady_E - The young ones need to be shown real love as they grow up. These days, both the man and the woman are always busy trying to provide for the family. They hadly have time for their children. It is normal for the child to feel uncomfortable.

This is a nice piece. Thanks.


Allan Douglas profile image

Allan Douglas 5 years ago from Great Smoky Mountains, Tennessee

Are you reading too much into it? No, not at all. We need acceptance and love, especially from our family but from others as well, as much as we need air and nourishment. Without it people, especially young people, do not develop properly. You are quite right to point a spotlight on this. Thank you for doing so.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

** Hi Andromida - thanks so much for your comments. Best Wishes.

** Thanks always exploring. It's scary to know that this will be the first generation who will not out-live their parents. Glad you stopped by.

** Thanks again DrPastorCarlotta for your warm comments. I pray God uses you to help all the youth in your Church. It's like a second home.

** Hello Lita, thanks for sharing those deep comments. Lovely to see you. BesT wishes.

** Hi Hello Hello (what's your first name?) Yes, I agree with your comments but I also feel many parents love their kids, they just don't express it or the economic situation we live in, could make them relate less to kids. So, really - parents have to sacrifice more. Example, They could come back from work so tired but if little Joseph wants to play football with daddy, he'll just have to play football with little Joseph. lol. I hope you get this. Take care.


dl53acy 5 years ago

Awesome hub! I was touched by it. Everyone needs love just as God love all of us but I'm sad for many of our young people who feel neglected. That's why we all should reach out and share a little where we see it needed. Thanks for sharing.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

You touch my heart with this hub. This is become international issue right now. But I hope the best for us. And we could give motivation to the people around us about the danger of this condition. Very inspiring hub. Thank you very much.

Prasetio


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Thanks for sharing this important hub. As parents, friends, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, etc.. we need to educate ourselves on the root of this problem. I struggled with both extremes as a child as both over-eating and anorexia are both ways to control our environments. God Bless you for the informative hub:)


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago

Lady E, Heartfelt & inspiring! Anorexia is somewhat a form of slow suicide… the person’s life is draining away day by day! An immediate intervention is necessary! Emotionally everything is going out of kilter therefore the need to have a sense of control is intense; resulting in them often secretly adhering to a rigid caloric restricted unhealthy diet!

No doubt the rising number of marriages and families in distress the children and teens are suffering emotionally at almost epidemic proportions… How interesting with the growing number of technological communication devices life is becoming more impersonal and many more are feeling alone…. Yes! With both parents working outside of the home there is less time to focus on the individual needs.

Each of us have varying temperaments no two exactly alike! Each of us have needs and wants for inclusion, control and affection this varies as well. In the case of an anorexic the need for attention is insatiable and the inner void is immensely vast!

It seems that the simple thing would be to just eat! Anorexia causes the person to not see themselves! They are out of touch with reality as far as to how they physically see themselves and logic or reason as far as eating are grossly denied.

As you say there is a great need for Love here! Your sensitivity here is wonderful and admirable! There are so many out there not knowing who are what to turn to… Affirmation of their self worth as an individual is needed… Not everyone has coping skills… In their plea for love out of desperation and need for attention eating disorders and suicide are on the rise. One really needs someone to walk with them through this valley…

God Bless you in your efforts for bringing attention to this much needed issue. As well as reaching out to those who are suffering! In HIS Love, Grace, Peace & Blessings!


Rossimobis profile image

Rossimobis 5 years ago from Biafra

Sister,i have been away for quite some time but i sneaked in today like every other busy day and had a taste of your soup...nicely coked but the issue of suicide is one great point because though some are deeply loved yet they always see one way out.Voted up b/cos i could not hold my tears but i have to log out.

cheers and much love...


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

** Thanks Amorea - Glad you found it useful. Best Wishes.

** Thanks for stopping Mike - Glad you shared those interesing comments. Regards.

** Hi Philipo - I understand the point you are making. Thanks for sharing.

** Thanks dl53acy - I agree we should reach out and share a little - even to kids who are not ours. Glad you stopped by.

** Thanks for your encouraging comments Prasetio. Your comments made me think wider as you noted it is an international issue. It just occurred to me that some parents in other countries - due to hardship of the economy give their kids aways as slaves to work - but that would be another Hub.

Thank you for stopping.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

** Thanks Minnetonka Twin - for sharing your experience. Sorry to hear you struggled with both extremes but I hope you will be able to help/support others through your experience. Nice of you to stop by.

** Hello DeBorrah - you raised very interesting and important points. I have learnt a few things from it. I also hope that parents/Guardians are motivated by your comments. Thanks so much for stopping. I appreciate your comments.

Best Wishes. :)

** Hello Rossimobis - Hope all is well. Nice to read from you again. Thanks for stopping. Ps. I thought you were busy campaigning for the Elections. I hope you are running for president.... No one wants Babangida...


Ladybythelake55 profile image

Ladybythelake55 5 years ago from I was Born in Bethesda, Maryland and I live in Chicago,IL

p;ease my article about Karen Carpenter. She was never acepted by her family and she continued to diet and it was her eating disorder that caused her to go into cardiac arrest because of inbalance to her electrolytes. It all begins with loving yourself and than you can love other people. Karen came from a dysfunction family whereas they could never tell her they loved her because according to her parent's they did not work that way. They said Karen knew they loved her. Sometimes they should have read the The Epistle of James 2:13-18 that you have to hear it and say it at the same time.

Lucie


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Ladybythelake - thanks for sharing this info. It's a pity how feelings she had about her family pushed her over the edge. Strange to know that telling kids they were loved, didn't work in that family. It cost's nothing.

Bless her. May she rest in peace.

Thanks for stopping.


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Annorexia can be seen as a chemical imbalance that leads to a body dismorphic perception that takes love into action by relieving the stress and self destructive instability by stimulating positive rienforcement and persuasion that food is as necessary as looks;)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks for sharing those comments, Mentalist acer.

Regards, E.


mohamed  5 years ago

Yh that is true also but the poeple that red this story is giving some idea


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks Mohamed

Nice of you to stop by.


Support Med. profile image

Support Med. 5 years ago from Michigan

Thumbs-up for this hub and your postings on twitter to help bring attention to this crisis of anexoria and feeling unloved, etc. Good to know people are sharing their thoughts and feelings there. Yours could be just the post/info they need to make a change. Voted/rated.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks Support Med. for your words of encouragement. Glad you stopped by. Have a lovely week. :)

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