Eulogy of Remembrance

I remember for as long as I can remember

A woman worth remembering

Every time I spoke to my Grandmother, she always said that she was blessed to have such wonderful children, grandchildren and now great grandchildren. She bragged about how beautiful we all are and how lucky she was. When I think of my grandmother I think of many summers tapping on the keys of her piano. I think of attempting to play a made up game with made up rules that had something to do with a game of pool. I picture a refrigerator door that was full of tokens (magnets) which represented her loved ones; accomplishments, love, admiration and memories that were important to her. I think of keeping my elbows off the table, chewing with my mouth closed and forks always go on the left side of the plate.

My grandmother was one of the most spectacular women I have ever known, and she always had a way with me, and was able to see me-even when I wasn’t able to see myself. She was able to see through the layers of attitude, anger and mischief into a person’s soul, especially mine.

I have hundreds of wonderful beautiful memories of time spent with my grandmother, each of which is special to me.

It never mattered that I was different- She would say different is good

Source

To Remember the Good

My grandmother helped me become me.

I had a conversation over the phone with my grandmother about a year ago that I am truly glad I was able to have. The conversation began as most do, with a series of questions to catch up on lost time. We were talking about my two children, Abigail and Collin, and how they were growing up so fast. I was telling her about work and all that I wanted out of the future and how hard life can be at times. I asked her how she was doing, if she was eating right and what she thought about her upcoming move. She gave a strong sense of strength in dealing with the emotional strain that the idea of moving was having on her. She described to me her new apartment and that some things inside her home of 50 years would not be moving into the apartment with her.

At some point during our hour and a half long conversation, the discussion changed direction and focused on the past and the time I had spent there with her and my grandfather over the years. I told her that I remember everything about the back bedroom where my sister and I slept while we were visiting during our summer vacations. I have a perfect visual of the room, everything from the photographs of her and Aunt Carol that hung on the wall, to the various blankets that grandma would lay at the foot of each of our beds every night, just in case we got cold, are frozen within my memory. I told my grandmother how much I loved all those mornings when I would wake up in one of the matching twin beds, with the sun shining on my face. I remember the smell of those summer mornings being a brilliant mix of fresh air and freshly brewed coffee. I told her I wished I was still a kid and was still able to have those summers, she told me, in a very Vivian, matter of fact, tone;

“Well you can’t, so don’t spend so much time thinking about it”, I laughed and said, “You’re right, besides that I was a miserable teenager and would hate to re-experience the misplacement I felt during my adolescence and early adulthood.”

What Grandma said to me next was just a few sentences which made me cry but also let me know how well my Grandma truly knew me and who I was deep inside, even as a child. She said,

“You have always been different; you have always taken things too personally when the intention was never to hurt you. You have always been the one to consider others feelings when a decision needed to be made because you hated to be the one who disappointed. You show the world a tough outer layer, because inside your heart is so big and people with big hearts often feel more pain when others decide to lash out and be mean. What you need to realize is, the mean actions of others have nothing to do with you, and it has to do with them.”

She then said, “When you get to be my age you will finally see that people are just people, and people do and say stupid things when they are afraid of someone who is different or better at something than they are”.

She told me that my heart, my stubbornness and strive to succeed makes me someone to be feared and I should be proud that I don’t fit in and am a little different.

My grandmother was a beautiful lady inside and outside. She was a little different, which is why she was so special and such a wonderful woman. She loved her family with every breath she ever took. She was strong when times required her to be strong. She was kind and loving when she saw someone who needed a friend or shoulder to cry on. She gave her support when she believed in something or someone worth believing in. My grandmother hated to admit to being wrong and loved to prove she was right. She had a feisty attitude and limited tolerance for careless, poor or harmful decisions and the people that constantly choose to make these types of choices. She played a mean game of bridge and was active in her church for many years. She loved swans, Texas and Angels. She stayed up far too late reading the newspaper or pages out of one of the many books that surrounded her chair in the living room. If you gave her a moment she would tell you about all the successes of her children, how talented and brilliant her grandchildren are and how she has the most beautiful great grandchildren in the world, and to prove it she would show you a display of photographs. She always appreciated the people in her life and loved them all for who they are. My grandmother always said that she was blessed to have such wonderful Children, Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren. But the real truth is, as blessed as she felt she was to have her family and friends, it was each of us who were truly blessed to have my grandmother, Mrs. Vivian in their lives. Because if you were so lucky as to of met Vivian, and had a moment to get past the stubborn attitude that she showed often, you know her heart, and she was a woman with a beautiful heart and a beautiful soul-that blessed so many peoples lives, mine being one of them.

So out of the hundreds of memories I have of my grandmother, there really isn’t one that I can single out as being the best or greatest to share with the world, because what was best about my grandmother was the way that she loved me, believed in me and helped me become me, and there are no words or memories that I can find that can truly express how much I love and will miss my grandmother.

Where this Hub stems from...

In the past three months I have lost both of my grandmothers. The first of which passed away July 2nd and more recently my father’s mother passed away September 22. Both women were special to me, as a grandmother should always be special to her grandchildren. I was asked to write a Eulogy in remembrance of my grandmother for the funeral services this coming Monday September 27, 2010. This is what I wrote. All feedback will be especially appreciated, for I had a hard time writing this through the tears. Thank you.

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Comments 21 comments

Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Hey Holly, you did a fantastic job writing this. I'm glad you have some good memories to hold on to and even more important some learning experiences to draw strength from. Your grandmother sounds a lot like my grandmother, before she passed away. I know what it is like to lose to people in a short period of time. I lost my grandmother, even before you actually died, because she came down with dementia and was hospitalized. A short time after she was, I then lost her boyfriend(who was like a grandfather to me) of 30 years, as he passed away. He went in January and then in the same year she went in December. The ironic part about her timing is that it fell between my sister's birthday and my niece's birthday, which are only a day apart from on another. So in December, I get to celebrate my niece's birthday on the 11th, my grandmother's passing on the 12th and my sister's birthday on the 13th. Again, please accept my condolences and I'm always around if you like to talk. You're a wonderful lady with a huge heart, like your grandmother said- and if I can help ease your pain, it would be an honor and a pleasure. :) (((HUGS+Kisses))) Please take care and be safe. :)


ghomefitness profile image

ghomefitness 6 years ago from Chicago,IL

It is very heartfelt and should be a beautiful Eulogy!


Isibor  6 years ago

I have always believed that when the layers are peeled off, we are more similar than different. You could easily have been talking about my gma who lived in Africa and our r/ship, and conversations. Thank you for baring your soul, and I'm sorry for your loss. God's strength :-)


April Van Loan 6 years ago

Lovely and heartfelt. You did her proud with your honesty and thoughtfulness.


Ken R. Abell profile image

Ken R. Abell 6 years ago from ON THE ROAD

Holly, this is beautiful. I cried good tears. Your heart pours out of these words---it says much about your grandmother's character & grace, but also it reveals a great deal about your character, grit, and grace.

Thank you for sharing this here. I was blessed. In the days ahead, especially on Monday, may you be surrounded by grace and overwhelmed by wonderful memories and stories.


vinividivici profile image

vinividivici 6 years ago

Inspiring hub, thanks.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

This was a beautiful tribute to your grandmother, and I am happy you had someone special in your life that could see inside your soul and understand clearly who you are. We all need someone like that. The difficult thing sometimes is for us to remember how that person saw us when they are no longer around to remind us. I think you will remember.

Take care and be kind to yourself, especially in the next few days.

Mike


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Cagsil- thanks so much sir. I am remembering so much that I will miss-but still I remember and I cherish each memory for the value which it holds to my heart.

Thanks for your support and your comment :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

go home fitness- thanks for the comment, I am glad you think so. It actually did go over well, and I received many tears for writing with such love for her. :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

isibor,

thanks for your kind words and thoughts- I appreciate the feedback and the encouragement


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Hi April, Thanks for reading this one- I am glad that you think so- I had so much more i wanted to write-but couldnt include it all...I guess as long as I showed her how much I love her-that is what counts


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Hi April, Thanks for reading this one- I am glad that you think so- I had so much more i wanted to write-but couldn't include it all...I guess as long as I showed her how much I love her-that is what counts


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

ken, thanks so much- your thoughts of me being surrounded with her memory and stories of her were of reality on Monday. It was refreshing to know that she mattered to so many-and so many people are better of for knowing her and the encouragement she gave to them. I was blessed to have her as my grandmother.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Mike-Thanks for your words. I am a very lucky person to have had her love me and see me so well. Now that the funeral has come and gone and I am home and life has resumed as normal-I can see some things that can be changed and may help me get to the place that I can live the way that she showed me it was possible to live-and perhaps continue to remember the things she told me in my everyday life. Thanks again Mike for all the encouragement :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

vini-Thanks for the comment-I appreciate it :)


Mary 6 years ago

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H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

thanks mary- i will check it out


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 6 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

Holly, I am so sorry for your loss and I want to say that you have written a wonderful eulogy and you should be proud. God bless you


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

carrie450, thank you for your insight. her funeral was beautiful and the eulogy i wrote went over well. i can only hope she knew how much i loved her and admired her for all that she accomplished during her 85 years


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

I am glad the funeral went well. I have delivered eulogies for lost friends and family and it is never easy, but I've always felt lucky to be allowed to show others how I remembered someone. I am certain the memories will never diminish for you. Take care.

Mike


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 5 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Thanks Mike :) I am sure you are right-i will always have beautiful memories :)

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