Are You Happy......If Not......Why II

What Can We Do To Be Happy

In our previous article we asked the question, are you happy. I used some of my customary characters to drive the point home. During this article I'll give my thoughts, and only mine, on what I think each characters should do, or should have done. Let's recap, our characters are, Unhappy Helena, and her husband Hard Working Harry, Embarrassed Eddie, Dissatisfied Daisy, What About Me Melvin, and his wife, Self Sacrificing Sadie, and Popular At Any Cost Patience. In order to understand what's happening you'll have to go back, and read from the beginning the article, Are you Happy, if not why.

Character One

Let's begin with Unhappy Helena, and her husband, Hard Working Harry. It's unfortunate that Helena depends on material things for her happiness. One thought on Helena's situation, she already has her priorities in order, that is to help raise happy, healthy well adjusted children. That's not to say it can't be done with a working mother, however, it is much easier to accomplish this when you have unlimited time to spend with your little ones, especially during their formative years. I'm speaking from experience, I did it both ways, and being home during those years with my children really benefited both the child and me. I digress, back to the issue at hand, Helena's lack of contentment with her lot in life.

One thing that Helena needs to do is take a look around her, maybe volunteer in a neighborhood where people only dreamed of having a home of any size. Maybe take a look at people who only have public transportation as their means of moving from one place to another. Now, let's not be too hard on Helena, we know material things are not the key to ultimate happiness, but for Helena, she has dreams, and there's nothing wrong with that. Did we notice Helena was fine until she joined the gym. This just goes to show that peer pressure doesn't end in school. Helena should take a good look at those ladies, and assess how long it took for them to get to where they are now, and appreciate that she too, if patient, can achieve that status. However, for the time being, maybe she should quit the club so she won't continue to covet what those ladies have. Most of all, Harry and Helena should have a long heartfelt discussion, before it's too late for their marriage.

Character Two

Poor Embarrassed Eddie, doesn't realize that his family is the best thing he has. He also doesn't realize that sometimes when people harass you they're envious of what you have. I've heard that being an only child, for some, is not necessarily what they desire, especially during their youth. Just a little aside, my two older children are seven years apart. When we had the second son, the first seemingly came alive. He couldn't do enough to make his brother happy. He later confessed to us that he felt so alone, during those years without his brother, despite the fact that we three spent all of our time together. Back to Eddie, he could have a conversation with one of his tormentors that meet that description and ask him how his life is, or anyone who is an only child. Another thing he could do is "just ride it out," realizing "this too shall pass."

Character Three

Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, tsk, tsk, tsk, dear Dissatisfied Daisy. Too much emphasis is placed on physical beauty these days, and poor Daisy is caught up in it. Most of us were teased about one thing or another during our youth. I know, what I'm about to say is easier to say than do. Nevertheless here's my advice to the Daisy's of the world. Take a look around you, and note what you see. Observe the girl with hard to grow, or manage hair, don't you think she wishes that she had your type of hair, or the one that has Alopecia. See the young lady in the wheel chair, any kind of working legs would make her happy, don't you think. This could apply to anyone who's unhappy about their physical appearance. Even someone who might be physically handicapped, or have the conditions I mentioned, just think, your situation could be worse. So you see, linking your happiness to physical appearance could be somewhat shallow. Let's not even take it that far, let's just say, maybe Daisy could develop her inner beauty, and begin associating with ones of similar interests, and maybe, just maybe that elusive happiness could be hers.

Character Four

Then there's What About Me Melvin, who's hinged his entire happiness on his wife, Self Sacrificing Sadie. Melvin tells Sadie he's complete with her. What a shame. Did Melvin not have friends before he met Sadie? Melvin, dear Melvin, get a life, no really, develop an interest in something other than your wife. It's apparent that she has other interests. You can't use another person to make you happy. You, and only you have that ability. What made you happy before you met Sadie? Think! Those are the same things that you can find satisfaction in now. Do you garden, fish, read? These are all things that can be done alone. What about "hanging out with the boys," or watching a "guy flick?" Even though Sadie is not saying anything, she's giving all the signs, if you're not sure, just ask her. And when she tells you the truth, take heed and try to follow through on what you've learned.

Character Five

Now, on to our final happiness challenged individual, Popular At Any Cost Patience. Patience, take a step back and look at yourself in the light of the description given. Does it make you happy to think that people see you in that light? You see the extent to which you go, to get attention is irritating to those of whom you seek it. You know the expression, "beauty is as beauty does." Well, let's apply that to happiness. Let's say, "happiness is as happiness does." Try giving someone else, who appears in need of attention, some attention. You see these acts can be reciprocal. Sometimes the attention you are seeking can come inadvertently as a result of you turning the tables, and attempting to make someone else happy. I'm not suggestions that you fake this for selfish gain, no, genuinely reach out to someone else. You know, the Bible says,  "there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving," so give it a try.

Conclusion

As we have discovered, happiness is a state of mind, or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure or joy. With this definition, what do we need to make this happen for us, does it depend on someone, or something else? Or can we, independent of anyone else derive happiness? We know that physical appearances, popularity, and all outside stimuli cannot in and of itself bring complete happiness. So we must find in ourselves what makes US happy, really happy and seek to acquire it. Can we take the advice given to our happiness challenged characters to heart, and if we see ourselves in any of these roles, make the change, and find that prior elusive state and make it our own.

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Comments 41 comments

RevLady profile image

RevLady 6 years ago from Lantana, Florida

Thanks for your "happy" thoughts!

Forever His,


samboiam profile image

samboiam 6 years ago from Texas

I am happy you wrote this hub. Great job and I always enjoy your writings.


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 6 years ago from Georgia

You addressed this issue so well fastfreta. In the end, we can't base our happiness solely on others or material things. These too can be taken from us, and then where would we be or how would we react?


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

This was great! I couldn't help noticing that all of your unhappy characters lacked balance in their lives, and some were too obessessed with being happy to pursue the things that help you get that way. Wonderful hub. You are a very positive person and it shows in your writing. Keep em coming.


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

And a great big 100 congratulation wishes for your 100 score - once again, fastfreta.

Am I happy? I'm happy when I see your photo and read your hubs. They make me smile! Yay!!!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

You're too kind Bk, thanks ever so much.

Thanks Valerie and you're right, that was my intention, because I see that so much today.

Thanks Veronica, it's ashamed that a lot of people can't see that.

Thank you samboiam for your kind comments.

Thank you too RevLady.

Thank you all for taking the time to read and make a comment. I'm looking forward to seeing you all soon.


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 6 years ago from Georgia

I had to stop by and congratulate you for your perfect score! Yay! 100 score on May 1st, 2010.


kimh039 profile image

kimh039 6 years ago

Thanks fastfreda. I saw Veronica's post about your 100 score and thought I'd stop by to see what all the celebrating is about. Loved the article and the Leona Lewis video.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Veronica, I see that, I've got to get my camera and turn the printer on, because it won't last long.

Thanks kimh039 for taking the time to stop and leave a comment. Hope to see you soon.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I always be happy all the time. I believe the happiness make this world colorful. I hope you all happy forever...let's forget the sadness for a while. Good topic. Thumbs Up. Congratulations for 100 hub scores.

Prasetio


Butterfly Lady profile image

Butterfly Lady 6 years ago from Broken Arrow, OK

Such a wonderful hub. Your insight is truely right on and the spiritual vibs are enormous. I am a fan and look forward to finding your writings any time.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

I am mostly happy, of course I have my bad days, which are few and far between, thank goodness. Thanks prasetio30 for the congrats, and for stopping. See you soon.

Thank you also Butterfly Lady, for your compliment, and thanks also for stopping. Hope to see you soon.


keiranthapa profile image

keiranthapa 6 years ago from Darjeeling

Great hub fastfreta. Congratulations also for being a 100 pointer and now a featured hubber!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Keiranthapa for visiting and for the congrats. Of course you know it never lasts. I don't understand when you said a "featured hubber." Anyway thanks again for stopping. Come back again soon.


shyonegb profile image

shyonegb 6 years ago from Australia

Congratulation on 100 score. Great Hub - l'm happy and appreciate what l have. Be grateful for life!!!


saket71 profile image

saket71 6 years ago from Delhi, India

I trust as some would say, it is not accepting things which are main source of unhappiness. As someone said, we want winter to be hot and summer to be cold. We build expectation around people, and then want them to fit in. It is through acceptance and forgiveness can true happiness be achieved. Nice hub, anyways.


seamist profile image

seamist 6 years ago from Northern Minnesota

Hi FastFreta

Excellent hub! I am sure we can all see at least a little bit of ourselves in one of those characters. It might be hard to do, but yes, happiness is a state of mind in most cases. My grandpa was a very wise man. He used to say, "If you walk down a hospital corridor, you can always find someone worse off than yourself. Although those thoughts may not necessarily make us happy, it can surely teach us to appreciate what we have.


pranav k profile image

pranav k 6 years ago

thank you fastfreta for the nice hub.


theherbivorehippi profile image

theherbivorehippi 6 years ago from Holly, MI

Oh my gosh fastfreta I just loved all of your characters on both hubs!! lol So true that some people find such unhappiness in their lives when others would give anything to be so lucky! Happiness definitely comes from within and I will be the first to admit that I was not satisfied with my life for a long time....for NO reason. Now I couldn't be happier..I honestly don't remember the last time I wasn't. Your characters are sure to make people stop and think about their own situations and their own lives and what is good about them rather than what is not! Fabulous hubs!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks theherbivorehippi for your validation, and I do hope that the article does cause at least one person to think seriously.

Thank you shyonegb and pranav k for your visit and comment.

Thank you seamist for your assessment, and I think I would have loved your grandpa, I like the way he thinks.

saket71 I like the statement that you made "(We build expectation around people, and then want them to fit in.)" And you're so right.

Thank you all for visiting and taking the time to leave a comment.


hometips profile image

hometips 6 years ago from Plymouth, MN, United States

I try to be happy always, but, sometimes, situations make me sad.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Hi hometips, then this hub is especially for you. Hope it helps. Thanks for stopping, please come back again and visit with me.


rosescottw profile image

rosescottw 6 years ago from Los Angeles, California

Dear fastfreta

I like how you made this hub. The bright colors especially went well. When I first saw your colorfull happy faces, I immediately felt this positive and optimistic energy flowing. Thank you fastfreta. This hub is very, very great. It gave me this wonderful feeling that happineness is definitely just around the corner. I give it two stumbs up!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks rosescottw for stopping and for your kind words. I'm glad you were encouraged after reading this hub. I hope you'll stop by again soon.


loveofnight profile image

loveofnight 6 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

great job......as always we are being fed.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you loveofnight for your kind words, and thanks for stopping, see you soon.


suny51 profile image

suny51 6 years ago

hello fastfreta,

finding happiness is like finding yourself. you don’t find happiness, you make happiness. you choose happiness.

God bless you


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Very wise and thought provoking statement, I wish I'd said it. Thank you for stopping and leaving that wonderful comment.


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA

Fastfreta, I agree with suny51. You must make the choice. I agree with your writings. So many times we are ready to talk about someone who is lacking something we have instead of being thankful for what we have and praying for those who are not as blessed. Happiness is being contented with what we have, knowing we are blessed regardless of what we do not have. You have written some very great thoughts.

Thanks


Gigi2 profile image

Gigi2 6 years ago from UK

What a wonderful hub and such clever characters. I believe happiness and contentment is contagious, it spreads and affects those we love. I try very hard to remain happy and positive, so that those I love benefit. Your hubs are contagious and spread happiness, keep up the amazing work.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you Linda and Gigi you're too kind. If you like these hubs, go over and read my Jealousy series, you'll appreciate them also. But by all means begin at the beginning, and you'll enjoy them more. Thanks so much for stopping, please visit again soon.


pmccray profile image

pmccray 6 years ago from Utah

I've got a bit of unhappy Helena in me. Too many times in my youth I got caught up in someones life's station and wanted it as my own. You hear the life stories of others and so desperately want their life ignoring the age and life station differences. Excellent hub


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks pmccray for taking time to read and leave a comment and also thank you for your honesty. Hope to see you again soon.


wordscribe41 6 years ago

Important topic, freta! I've so often heard of people who finally become happy after experiencing some great tragedy that snaps them into appreciating life. I've been a few of these from time to time, but I've snapped out of that. Thanks for the wonderful reminder. Rated UP!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you wordscribe for visiting and taking the time to leave a comment. Hope to hear from you again soon.


Juliet Christie profile image

Juliet Christie 6 years ago from Sandy Bay Jamaica

This is a very thought provoking hub .happiness is not what others give you but what you enjoy accepting.Just accepting yourself and who you are is the beginning.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thought provoking, I say, your statement is just that. Wish I'd said that. So thanks for adding to my hub. See you soon.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I'm afraid if I'm happy someone might come along and eaqt the chocolate right off my bar! Thank you Dear!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Funny, Micky Dee! I love it when you stop over, please do so again soon.


Ashantina profile image

Ashantina 5 years ago

I'm feelin happy after readin this fastfreta! Pls check out my hub: 'happiness is a choice!' Really enjoyed reading the characters in your article.. Creativity in motion.. Take care :))


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Ashantina, I'll go over right now and read it. See you soon.

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