Bacterial Vaginosis Facts and Treatment

If you’re old enough to like boys, you’ve probably already heard them talk total bollox about female anatomy. For example, one of the more popular stupidities we grow up hearing is how the vagina smells like fish. I hate to break this news to the male virgins out there – but, unless you’re dating the town trollop, the vagina doesn’t really smell like anything.

Not unless a woman happens to have an infection, that is. And there are several of which can produce a foul smelling odor; the one we’re focusing on today is BV: Bacterial Vaginosis. This one actually can make the hoo-hoo smell like fish. Mind you, this is not an STD per se (though, as a bacteria, it could certainly spread that way) and can be seen in any woman, anywhere. Alls you need is a vagina. So, if you’ve got one of those, here’s the info you’ll need to spot the symptoms, as well as what to expect when it comes time to seek the cure.

What exactly is/causes Bacterial Vaginosis?

Most of the time, the good bacteria in your vagina are pretty good at keeping the bad bacteria in check. This is not one of those times; the bad bacteria are planning a coup and you’re likely going to need meds to get them back in line.

Is it contagious?

While you don’t get it from sitting on toilet seats, etc, it is possible for female partners to share more than love with this one.

Who can get it?

Virgins and Jezebels alike. (Women who douche are particularly at risk.)

Symptoms:

  • Usually accompanied by a pungent fishy odor. And when I say pungent, I mean it. One whiff and you could lose your lunch.

  • Often accompanied by itching (which is why it’s often misdiagnosed as candida).

  • The vulva can be highly irritated and red in color.

  • Possibly accompanied by discomfort during urination.

How is it diagnosed?

By a physician. I won’t get into the specifics, as I don’t think most of you care – but to give you a general idea, the vagina is swabbed, pH acidity is checked, an odor test is done, and a few other bit and bobs are compared as well. And yes, one does need to be in the stirrups for this.

How is it treated?

Most commonly, metronidazole is prescribed in a cream form that you insert vaginally once or twice a day for a certain number of days. It’s similar to how you would use Monistat – but do not use Monistat for this, it’s a completely different medicine and will not work. Sometimes it’s prescribed in pill form – but if you are experiencing pain or itching you may want to request the cream.

It’s important you use the meds you’re given **Until They Are Finished**. Those of you who stop taking meds after you feel better, you’re the reason we have resistant bacteria today. The last thing we need is a resistant form of BV, so please use it all.

Possible complications of going untreated?

  • An instant decline in that kind of attention from your boyfriend or girlfriend.

  • Passing it along to your girlfriend, which I’m guessing she will not appreciate.

  • While not that common, BV can sneak into your uterus and or fallopian tubes, which in turn can lead to all kinds of unpleasantness (read: Pelvic Inflammatory disease), including increasing a woman’s risk of ectopic pregnancy.

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