Be Kind to Yourself

Be gentle. Photo by Stuart Miles at
Be gentle. Photo by Stuart Miles at

I read a lot of blogs and books on getting through the rough times of life. I even have my own blog about it because I have been through some major traumas in the last nine years. Not to mention just the ordinary day to day stuff that we all face. Everyone is having problems, both traumatic and every day type. I feel for everyone, I truly do.

One of the things I keep reading is to be kind to yourself. When I first heard this, I honestly didn't know how to take it. How are you kind to yourself? The fact that I had to ask myself that question proves how unkind I had been being to myself! I only thought of kindness as something you had for others. I even thought it sounded rather selfish and me, me, me to think about doing it for yourself.

I have an anxiety/panic disorder and one of the traumas I've been through most recently is losing my brother very unexpectedly. It was such a shock and also left me without any family left. My disorder has kicked into high gear and I'm having a terrible, debilitating time with it. I also have no one to give me the kind of support I need and the few friends I have just don't understand it. They are not being very kind. The ones who are being kind don't live near me and I hate to call them when I'm feeling so bad. And you sometimes need someone close by.

This brings me to how I learned to understand what "being kind to yourself" means. Just recently I thought about how the only person I have on a day to day basis is myself. If I had no one else to be kind to me, then I had to do it. I had to give myself pep talks and tell myself how everything was going to be okay. I had to remind myself that it's not my fault that I have this disorder and I have nothing to be ashamed of. I had to mentally hug myself when I cried and felt despair. No one else was going to do it. Period.

I'm talking about anxiety here, but this applies to everyone with everything. If you are feeling fat, worthless, not enough, unlovable...whatever it kind to yourself. Tell yourself it's okay and you are not fat or unlovable or whatever bad thing you think you are. I know, it is going to feel weird talking to yourself this way a first. It did to me, but suddenly it started to come easier. And I didn't feel selfish, just comforted. And it feels good.

I still have to catch myself when all the negative thoughts flood in and make the switch to being kind to myself. It takes practice, but it's worth the effort. So the next time you're beating yourself up, your own cheerleader, your own therapist, your own best kind to yourself. You are worth it and you will always have the person you need with you.

Love yourself ! Photo at
Love yourself ! Photo at

Do you have a hard time being kind to yourself?

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Comments 15 comments

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 2 years ago from Wales

Oh how often are we kind to ourselves ?Not often enough and you have stressed this wonderfully in this great hub. Voted up and shared.

Enjoy your weekend.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 2 years ago from the South Author

Thanks Eiddwen! You have a good weekend too!

bac2basics profile image

bac2basics 2 years ago from Spain

Hi cat.

I have people telling me exactly this but had no idea what it meant until now so you have just solved the mystery and I will give it a go.

I´m so sorry you are still suffering cat, but little wonder really after loosing your brother, there is no quick fix for grief it just has to be got through as best as we can.

Be kind to yourself all of this day and enjoy what you can :)

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MysticMoonlight 2 years ago

Sending warm blessings and hugs to you, catgypsy. This is such an honest and thought provoking hub. Yes, we so often neglect our own feelings and emotions, it's such a shame. I'm definitely going to start working on this, we all need to better the way we feel towards ourselves. In the long run, it will benefit everyone! Thanks for this great idea!

catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 2 years ago from the South Author

bac2basics, thank you. Yes, grief is a hard thing to deal with, no matter how many times you go through it, and it unfortunately kicks in my anxiety, but I'm taking it one day at a time. Thanks for the sweet words.

Please do give it a deserve to be good to yourself!

catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 2 years ago from the South Author

MysticMoonlight (love that name!) thanks for the blessings and hugs...I need them. I'm so glad that you are going to work on this and yes, in the long run it benefits everyone around us. I think it's even more important these days as we are all under so much stress.

Blessings and hugs to you too.

Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Hello catgypsy,

Yes, we must go easy on ourselves. Anxiety and stress certainly can take its toll on us in this life if we allow it to do so. I do hope and pray you find someone close to help you get through those times when you need someone.

Hugs and blessings,

Faith Reaper

catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 2 years ago from the South Author

Thank you so much Faith! I know almost everyone is having problems these days and I just hope we all can be good to ourselves and others. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

KarenHC profile image

KarenHC 2 years ago from U.S.

I have mild problems with anxiety compared to you, but it is still very difficult sometimes to live with, and I start to get angry at myself. And you're right, practicing more to be kind to myself would be a better way to be!

catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 2 years ago from the South Author

Karen, any amount of anxiety is hard to deal with, so I sympathize with you. I get angry at myself too but that just makes it worse. Just keep practicing being kind to yourself gets easier as you go along. I think we feel guilty and selfish doing this, but it is not either. A big hug your way!

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Aug. 19--late

My Dearest Catgypsy,

Imagine finding you here! Wow! I loved this hub and I mean every word. Did you write this "just" to me?

I gathered some valuable nuggets of wisdom in this piece that will prove very beneficial to me thanks to you.

Love You Dearly.

Keep up the great work.

catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 6 months ago from the South Author

Dear Kenneth, Thanks...I can't believe you never saw this hub! And yes, be kind to yourself because I know what a traumatic time you've been through. Love you dearly too.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Dearest Catgypsy,

So I DID surprise ya, huh? I meant to do just that and to show you that sometimes life is at its best when it's unpredictable. Or "I" am in this case.

This is a great piece. I loved it.

Just keep turning out works like this and no telling at the folks you will help.

Love you.

catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 6 months ago from the South Author

Thanks Sweetie!

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

@ catgypsy,

Awee. I am glad that you cannot see me now for I am blushing.

Love you.

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