Being Right- How Important Is It?

Pondering Life

Being Right- How Important Is It?

There are 6.5 billion people on our planet, all coexisting and doing their utmost to live a happy, healthy life in the best way they know how. Some are more successful than others as a result of location, heritage, chance, genetic factors and so on, but essentially no one would choose to live a life of strife and misery.

Within the enormous number of people sharing this precious planet, there are many different and varying opinions about “The Right Way” to live. Belief systems are passed down from one generation to the next, in order to protect the young, and give them a sense of belonging to the tribe.

These belief systems can be the product of geography, climate, culture, religious institutions, poverty, famine, wars, politics, philosophy, or tradition. It is natural to take on the belief systems of parents and peers, primarily for safety, and also because frequently, no alternatives are offered during childhood.

Humans have evolved into a creature that prefers to live in communities and cohabit with others that are similar. We are programmed to be attracted to and feel safe amongst those who most resemble us. We are thus conditioned to conform to the tribe, and as individuality is a threat to the status quo, we learn to modify our beliefs in order to fit in.

In the case of religions and country boundaries, this has culminated in many wars over our long history, as your God does not look or act like my God, or your country is better than or worse than my country, and therefore we attack or defend ourselves until the bitter end.

This conviction that there is only one way to think about life, God, and other huge questions, to the exclusion of everything else, is very destructive, and to date does not seem to have worked.

Have you ever found yourself in conversation with someone who is heavily invested in being right? It is very difficult to discuss anything with them since they are more interested in getting you to agree with them than hearing what you actually think. For these people, allowing other people to have their own opinion seems impossible. Was there someone in their history who was always right, and so they copied that behaviour? Or does the concept of disagreeing with someone frighten them? Can they appreciate that it is the opinion that is being rejected and not the person?

When I need you to see it my way, I am not allowing you to think for yourself, and I also think that I know the correct way to function/ believe. I cannot possibly appreciate all the different variations on the same subject if my mind is convinced that there is only one way. As I let go of that notion, I begin to see that there are hundreds of differing ways to approach the same issue, and all of them are valid.

On a more personal level, if you study your parents’ beliefs and then study your own, is there a similarity? And if the answer to that question is yes, then are you truly following your own path, or that of your parents? You are not your parents, and you are not living their lives. What do you want for you, and what do you believe?

Often when we start to examine what we hold to be true, we discover that our belief systems no longer apply to us, and we start to explore the alternatives. We are all individuals, and yet so many of us are living out other peoples’ aspirations and dreams.

As we begin the journey of self- discovery and experimentation, we discover practices that suit our lifestyle and some that don’t, and gradually we begin to find our way. Many people say that what is true changes as they are continually learning and growing, and with each new discovery about self or the world, perceptions change.

Learning that my opinions and beliefs change as I discover new facts and other philosophies allows me to really see and appreciate you and your ever expanding truth. Everyone is entitled to their own set of beliefs, because they are an individual. They are also entitled to change their point of view and make mistakes, because that is effectively how they find out who they are. I would like you to allow me to have my own opinion, and therefore, I will allow you to have yours, even if I disagree with it. We can still very much enjoy each others’ company, whilst agreeing to disagree.

Either way, learning to accept other people regardless of their opinions can lead to a much more fulfilling relationship with your fellow man as you begin to understand that there is wisdom and beauty in all traditions and cultures. We live in a very different world today than we did one short century ago. With the advent of planes and passports, we have become a beautiful melting pot of different cultures and nationalities. This is set to increase with the displacement of huge numbers of people, searching for work and food as the climate changes occur.

Modern spirituality is very different to cultural and religious opinions, because it actively encourages diversity, variety, and change. It promotes exploration of alternative religious practices, other philosophies, and activities so that you can discover your own individual spiritual practice. It assists you to understand that we need to accept others because we are all a part of the human family and we are all the same at a deeper level. It encourages you to open your mind to other eventualities. Ultimately, we discover that we do not have all the answers, and that the realm of possibility within the universe is too vast for us to comprehend.

Being right means that I think I am better than you, and people everywhere are coming to see that we are all the same. Being authentic and speaking with honesty is preferable, and learning that you are ok exactly as you are, with nothing to prove to anyone will lead to a more harmonious relationship with self, others, and the planet. Not knowing the answers, paradoxically, shows the wisdom and humility of a mind that has explored, and arrived at a considered place of acceptance of self within the universe.

Written by Caroline Nettle.

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Authors Bio

Caroline Nettle is passionate about healing, recovery, and assisting others to grow. Her website Spiritual Growth Tools is the culmination of many years of seeking answers about her own health and well-being, and studying the human condition. She writes articles, is a healer and gives talks about subjects relating to spiritual growth and personal development.

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Comments 23 comments

Rev. Akins profile image

Rev. Akins 6 years ago from Tucson, AZ

You are right! :) Sorry, I couldn't resist. But you make several good points, and when someone feels they are right they do not allow for their own growth. They become closed to new ideas, new options, new anything. Great Hub, I think we can all do with a little less "I am right, you are wrong" and more we can all be on the same level of knowing there is quite a lot out there we don't know or understand.


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 6 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Thank you Rev Atkins. It is my first one so I am delighted to get some good feedback. Thanks for following me and I will post more soon. Love and blessings, Caroline


Diana B 6 years ago

Attachment to being right creates suffering. When you have a choice to be right, or to be kind, choose kind, and watch your suffering disappear. ~ Wayne Dyer


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 6 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Here here! Thanks for posting that! Love and blessings, Caroline xxx


Carol Bender 6 years ago

Very nicely said. I am seeking. I feel closest to God when I am out in nature but also enjoy bible study. I am not a big fan of organized religions promoting their religion to be the only way. The more I read the bible, the more I think organized religions are missing the message in the book they follow. I also noticed long ago that two people can read the same book and come away from it with totally different observations, depending on where they are in their life. Thanks again for your lovely words.


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 6 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Thank you Carol. I agree about nature entirely and also how you can have completely different reactions to the same book or film as the person sitting next to you.

Love and blessings, Caroline xxx


Maria Henkes 6 years ago

This is great Caroline, I am becoming a fan of your articles because they are so clear and to the point and yes you are so right but indeed what is that being right, in my eyes you are so right but isn't it so beautiful how very different we all are and yet deep inside we are all the same!! thank you for sharing!!

with love, Maria Henkes


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest

Great hub. Yo uare onto something. We spend so much time trying to convince others to share our viewpoint and the reat of the time trying to defend our own, but neither scenario gets us anywhere. Great advice Caroline


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 6 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Thank you Maria! I agree that we are all different and so need to try to see things from the perspective of others. We are all indeed the same.

Love and blessings,

Caroline


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 6 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Thank you Izetti. I am a recovering you have to see it my way person, and life is definitely easier since I found out that it is ok to disagree!

Love and blessings,

Caroline


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

Being right is the important thing in our life. As a human we can deny that sometimes we made a mistake, this is naturally for human like us. But we have to give the best by doing right. Keep thinking positive is also good to give us motivation in life. Good topic selection. I really enjoy to read this hub. You give us not only description but this is real. Thank you very much.

Prasetio


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 6 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Thank you prasetio30, I am glad you found it useful.

You are welcome.

Love and blessings,

Caroline


Beverley Taylor 6 years ago

I think you give some very positive points, I remember when I was younger, being right was the be all & end all, bringing up 2 kids single-handed, both with learning disabilities, I sometimes had to do what I thought was right regardless to get them through. Now over the last few years, I've learnt it's important to understand other people's views too, in fact learning to understand & relate to different views, beliefs, etc, actually makes life much more interesting for everyone. So often we feel being right is everything & we limit ourselves, our lifes & our potential.

x Beverley


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 6 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Thank you Beverley, and I agree, being right is very limiting and means that we are unable to see what is in front of us.

I appreciate your comments.

Love and blessings,

Caroline


Donna Virgilio 6 years ago

Human beings have a strong interest in being right. I love this piece. You are so right Caroline. Thank you for talking about this. In being better listeners we can expand our understanding of one another and get along so much better.


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 6 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Thank you Donna, and could being better listeners change the world? No more disagreements, no more fights if we truly listened to others? What lovely food for thought.

Love and blessings,

Caroline


DevBlue profile image

DevBlue 5 years ago from Mauritius

You have raised very pertinent issues on the subject.This reminds me of my Guru Yogi Tamby Chuckravanen who said that we should at all cost get rid of our ego and we should avoid having the last word in any discussion.An interview of my Guru, who is also a healer, is in my first Hub on the New year date of 1 January.


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 5 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Thank you DevBlue. I look forward to reading it when I have a little more time! With Love and Blessings, Caroline xxx


DianaB 5 years ago

Attachment to being right creates suffering. When you have a choice to be right, or to be kind, choose kind, and watch your suffering disappear. ~ Wayne Dyer


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 5 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Hear hear! xxx


LightXpressions profile image

LightXpressions 5 years ago from Colorado, USA

I very much agree. There used to be a time when so many people were telling me I was wrong I would love to hear the words you are right. Well when a significant person in my life started telling me I was right basically in an effort to shut me up I really started disliking the words. Later on I discovered that sometimes it is wonderful to be incorrect. Acknowledging being incorrect about something sure opens us up.this is a topic I feel quite passionate about to I even wrote a poem about it. Thank you for sharing.


Spiritual Growth profile image

Spiritual Growth 5 years ago from Bristol, England Author

Wonderful photo! I love it! Thank you for your comment. These days I can laugh at myself when I am wrong- what a blessing! xxx


LightXpressions profile image

LightXpressions 5 years ago from Colorado, USA

thank you,I understand what you mean my husband and I are always laughing with each other we are both somewhat dyslexic and that brings a lot of humor.

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