Bipolar Disorder: I Feel Lost and Alone

Astrology

Don't turn away yet, consider something. Astrology is defined as the study of human interactions with respect to the stars. The term Bipolar Disorder specifies a condition in which a person flip-flops between two opposite moods (Mania and Depression) erratically and/or quickly. I've always felt moved by the stars and taken by the earth, unable to make up my mind about anything I want, I gather reason in sadness and request the logic in happiness. Unfortunately, it is these two aspects of myself that throw me into a vat of constant aggravation and turmoil.

Truth is, I believe i'm always lost and always alone, but I never feel like I don't know where I am, nor do I look around and see no one.

You see it is the me within myself that resists that urge to change, yet wants to change so badly that the desire could suffocate the soul. I recently revisited my sign in the zodiac and was reminded of why I seem to be two completely different people in one. You must have already guessed, but I am Pisces, represented by two fishes, each swimming in opposite directions.

So further intrigued by the idea of astrology and mental disorders, I dove headfirst into the solution, and not the problem. That must be our focus; not to say that because I am this sign, I am prone such behaviors but to respect our tendencies, honor our abilities, and accept our differences.

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The Four Mutable Signs

Gemini (The Twins): May 22 - June 21

Honor: Adaptable and versatile, Communicative and witty, Intellectual and eloquent ,Youthful and lively

Accept: Nervous and tense, Superficial and inconsistent, Cunning and inquisitive


Virgo (The Virgin): August 23 - September 23

Honor: Modest and shy, Meticulous and reliable, Practical and diligent, Intelligent and analytic.

Accept: Fussy and a worrier, Overcritical and harsh, Perfectionist and conservative


Virgo (The Archer): November 23 - December 23

Honor: Optimistic and freedom-loving, Jovial and good-humored, Honest and straightforward, Intellectual and philosophical

Accept: Blindly optimistic and careless, Irresponsible and superficial, Tactless and Restless


Pisces (The Fishes): February 20 - March 20

Honor: Imaginative and sensitive, Compassionate and kind, Selfless and unworldly, Intuitive and sympathetic

Accept: Escapist and idealistic, Secretive and vague, Weak-willed and easily led

Are you still here? Okay good, keep reading. There are four signs in the zodiac that fall between seasons and thus take from each corresponding months. Known as mutable signs, each moves between two opposing forces, creating a constant push and pull that can leave a person weakened.

"The moveable (cardinal) signs are so-called [...] because at the time when the Sun enters them the disposition of the air is changed [...] The common signs are so-called because when the Sun enters any of these signs it makes the time common, neither truly fixed nor truly movable, but it partakes of both, fixed and moveable. Whence part of that time it is of one [nature] and part of the other [...] when [the Sun] leaves Leo and enters Virgo, then the season is changed, and is made partly summer and partly autumnal." - Guido Bonatti

As do the seasons change, so do we become displaced in our emotions when our environment triggers the manic fussy, blindly optimistic, superficial and careless escapists in us. It is in our nature to be the cure, as well as the ailment, but we will always have an impact. That has becoming a harrowing detail in my life so far, that an aim to retract the "issues" that plague me still encroaches on the comfort of the people around me.

BD "diagnosis is based on the self-reported experiences of an individual as well as abnormalities in behavior reported by family members, friends or co-workers, followed by secondary signs observed by a psychiatrist,nurse, social worker, clinical psychologist or other clinician in a clinical assessment." - Wikipedia

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Acceptance!

Change is inevitable right? That's the un-pronounced advantage of being Bipolar. This disorder just may leave you feeling lost and alone many times, but you can seek asylum in the knowledge that you are the change. You are the occurrence, the motion, the rising of the symphony that falls with a crescendo and gets a standing ovation!

While others might reel in the face of earth's shift, you already know the movements caused by the imbalances of BD. This familiarity keeps you constantly moving, makes you the significant variable that will respond favorable with the right control. Now, we've reached a solution! A result! Something almost incomprehensible with such a diagnosis!


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Some Problem/Solution Examples Courtesy of Michael Thieseen (Check them out)

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I apologize for ending so abruptly. I had posted some of Michael Thieseen's problems with solutions but that would be copyright infringement even if I directed all credit to him. Do check out his website though! Very helpful.

Also, more research into noteworthy and applicable solutions coming soon!!

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Comments 8 comments

cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 4 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

Wow, this is one of the best hubs that I have come across( I am a Pisces, (Water), My wife is a Virgo, (fire). exactly my opposite.

Thanks.

Much Love

Michael


Ash 4 years ago

"Truth is, I believe i'm always lost and always alone, but I never feel like I don't know where I am, nor do I look around and see no one.

You see it is the me within myself that resists that urge to change, yet wants to change so badly that the desire could suffocate the soul."

This strikes really close to home. I don't put a lot of faith in astrology but then, I wasn't surprised to see my sign come up on your list. Interesting post.


catalystsnstars profile image

catalystsnstars 4 years ago from Land of Nod Author

Thanks,

My faith resides in many things, astrology is a facet of these things. I only know the basics but then again a profound feeling is more than true knowledge sometimes. Thanks again for reading, and I hope it's alright that i back-linked to one of your articles.


smzclark profile image

smzclark 4 years ago from cheshire

A good and honest hub by a top class writer!


catalystsnstars profile image

catalystsnstars 4 years ago from Land of Nod Author

That's so nice of you, lol, thanks!


D.E. Moore 4 years ago

Yeah! Finally someone who has the "right" attitude about being bi-polar! LOL...I agree with you, if not totally, enough to matter. Problem is....I'm a Capricorn! :-)


Leslie 23 months ago

I saw your PBS special on TV in Dallas this weeenkd; Type #2 resonated with me. I started Prozac back in my mid-20s after childhood depression that I believe was partly genetic from my father and partly environmental lots of gross stuff in my family of origin that I was too young to get away from. Could tell things were better on Prozac, but not great. And slow weight gain started that is out-of-control now. Kept switching from Anti-depressant to the next as new ones came out or if current one seemed less effective. Had severe menstrual problems that ended up being related to LexaPro, so searched for herbal alternatives. Tried 5HTP and couldn't stop eating. Specialist kept me on 5-HTP but added a product called diabetrol to control blood sugar (no diabetes issues just needed something to offset 5HTP cravings). In your show I identified with Type #2. Got off of 5-HTP, just starting L-Tyrosine, but I have NO IDEA how much to take daily. Where do I start?


Yonase 23 months ago

Greetings From Hell on Earth My Prison Cell I used drugs and alcohol for twntey years. From the time I was fourteen in 1984 until I was thirty-four in 2004. I tried to quit many times. In fact, I did quit many times, but I always eventually started back. I never could seem to accept the fact that pot and beer were harmful to me. They seemed like such innocuous substances. The drugs that always got me in trouble were the ones I knew were dangerous cocaine, opiates, crack, and pills. But I'm an addict. It wasn't the highly addictive nature of the drugs I was using that caused problems for me. It was the highly addictive nature of me. There's a beast that lives inside me. I don't know how he got there or where he came from or if I was born with him. I do know he has an insatiable appetite for ANY mood altering chemical. The more he is fed, the more he wants. If I feed this beast with pot or alcohol, he's going to gain enough strength to get what he really wants. If also discovered that if I'm craving any high at all, then something is not right anyway. Relapse happens a long time before I actually use. Why to I want, so badly, to escape from feeling normal? What feeling am I trying to escape from or replace with a better feeling? Why do I feel the need to get high in the first place? It's just for a feeling. Is it that important? What am I willing to sacrifice in order to feel good? Why can't I feel good without a chemical? I've sacrificed everything for that feeling. I traded everything away. I reached a point where life was not worth living without that feeling. And I've suffered the most horrendous consequences for it. I literally gave my life away. Sold my soul to the devil. For a feeling. Read my book Running Away From Me when it is released later this summer.

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