Body Image Obsession. STOP IT

I can't look!  Don't tell me what it says!  I hate myself!
I can't look! Don't tell me what it says! I hate myself!

Music to the ears, by Steve Maraboli

The following is an excerpt from the inspirational self-improvement book entitled, "Life, Truth and Being Free." It's author is Steve Maraboli, popular Speaker, best selling Author and Behavioral Science Academic:

"You are beautiful. Your beauty just like your capacity for life, happiness and success is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.

Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.

It's true, the scale can only give you a numbered reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force possibility, strength or love. Don' t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful."


What are your thoughts after reading Steve's quote? How do you sincerely feel about what he has said? Take your time and reach down deep. Be completely honest with yourself.....no one need know but you. If standing face to face with this gifted Speaker, what would you say to him in response to his words?

Kick back.....View this Video

Continue to contemplate and explore your feelings as you relax and take a few moments to view this video........

SELF-ESTEEM

Mirror, mirror.....Do you see what I see?

Do you see yourself as other do?  Do you obsess over needing to KNOW?
Do you see yourself as other do? Do you obsess over needing to KNOW?

Feeling better, stronger more confident?

Having read Steve's lovely quote and watched this video packed with common sense and realistic facts about how our brain translates all that comes through our senses...take hold of your true thoughts.. As unique individuals, don't each of us see a different view, hear an alternate sound or taste another flavor? Of course we do. How else can we explain the diversity in humans?

The annual Multi-Billion Dollar Business.

They cater to those of us who have been brainwashed into a slanted, cockeyed concept of our body, in large part from the media. This image we have is false but we did not get there alone nor voluntarily.

Granted, some of the billions of dollars come from those who stand to make the most money by fostering these lies... professional models and actors under contract (and threat of career loss) to maintain near-perfect bodies from head to toe. These people are not the focus here. The focus is you and me, our friends, family, co-workers and neighbors. All the marvelous, diverse, basic yet extraordinary human beings who simply may not accept that they're lovable, wonderful and fascinating, just as they are.

Do you ever seriously wonder why this is? Perhaps we should take a look at just a couple of the possibilities.

This should horrify anyone.
This should horrify anyone.

We see, hear and follow like sheep.... "Brainwashing."

The epidemic of dangerous eating disorders does not often make headline news. We may know they exist, but it doesn't happen to anyone we know. Not in our town. Never in our family.

Take a look at those stick figures walking the Fashion Industry runways. Women like the waif in this photo. Look closely at her sad and helpless eyes.

What do you really see? Are you horrified? I see the image of Obsession. The result of lies told and ridiculous images created. Images we are brow-beaten into believing are those of a "real woman and true beauty." Greed mongers and liars who create an industry to swoop up our young and mold them into the female of every man's dreams. Be the envy of your peers, strive to be the center of attention.....yes, be model-like.

Sadly and proof be evident, this works. It has worked well for decades and will continue. How do we stop the obsession?. Surely there exists a need to reject what amounts to nonsense at best and self-loathing at worst. Learning to love and accept one another as the beautiful, gifted creatures we were made to be is not a futile hope, is it?


An entire day's worth of calories?
An entire day's worth of calories?

Follow the Rules!


The reality is that it hasn't always been this way. But just like any trend that begins with seeds planted and the media taking off with the newest and greatest of what now is "In," the masses will devour like vulchers looking for the attention and envy celebrities hold.

It may be difficult for people who are not easily deceived by false illusions that flood from Hollywood, to understand. A literal war exists between what rational minds can understand and what the powers behind the plots will tirelessly force feed a vulnerable public.

We need to ask ourselves why eating disorders, anorexia and bulimia have soared in numbers, the vast majority teen-aged girls, who so desperately need to be accepted, loved and most of all, noticed.

What needs to be profoundly understood is the excessively high level of obsession that drives the individual to such drastic measures. It becomes a method of control, but it begins with an idea. An idea planted as a seed, in the mind of those sucked in by the hype and hoopla.

What can be done to combat the pressure of seeking a false perfection? Can we protect the innocents from getting caught up into yet another fantasy belief in who or what they must be to be "someone?"

Being the Best YOU is the Perfect Gift to offer.

When all is said and done, somehow it always boils down to what really matters in life. In the end, it will not matter if you carried the ideal number of pounds for your height and frame. It will matter that you had the inner strength to carry your burdens with hope in your heart. The statistics of your curves are not as impressive as the value of your compassion. A number on the scale,cannot with any accuracy,reflect your nature-given talents and intellect.

It is within our power to stop the obsession for physical perfection and begin to focus on being fit and healthy in both mind and body. We can learn and teach the beauty of self-worth and confidence. Why would we not make it a point to tell others how beautiful they are by their expression of pure love for humanity. A life of health and happiness and strength becomes the example we should want to pass on to our children.

We all are beautiful in our own way and have abundant worth. Those who attempt to paint us all with the same brush or mold us into one-size-fits-all, do this based upon shallow thinking and selfish motives of greed. We know better. And because we know better, we must do better.

This message has, in the last decade or so, begun to take shape and has been spread by individuals and groups of consumer advocates, educators and experts in health fields. Finally the justifiable objection to the mass adoration of the rail-thin woman is being proclaimed. A more sane and realistic message has taken root and is sprouting results that can be applauded and supported.

The emphasis on physical activities and involvement in fresh air athletics has spread across the Nation. Young people need to understand how to take care of the one and only body they have. Anti-bullying campaigns have cropped up everywhere and best of all, it's working. The greatest gift we can give one another is the validation that our worth is unconditional.

It's about time. I know you join me in supporting these efforts and spreading the news.

You are loved, respected and appreciated, just as you are.



You want to see this!

Just the way you are..........

What do you choose?

Which comment is most like yours?

See results without voting

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103 comments

Missy Smith profile image

Missy Smith 5 months ago from Florida

This one was a good one for me to come across today. I am having soooo much trouble with my teenage daughter right now with this very subject matter. I can't understand it. I taught her to be proud of who she is, and the way she looks. Embrace her individuality and her own true beauty, but somehow I'm failing.

She wakes up, goes to the scale, she obsesses about the foods she eats, and if I do not have rabbit food in the house, she will taunt me until I go get some. It's not that there is not something healthy enough for her to eat, it's just she doesn't trust me when I tell her that she can have a hamburger and still lose some weight. You just eat it plain or use lettuce as a bun. I know, I lost 40 pounds just leaving out certain things when I was in my twenties. I even needed to lose weight back then, and she does not need to lose weight.

I keep trying to tell her she is tall, and for her height her weight is good. perfect. It's so sad that she is like this. Not only is she making her own self crazy, she is putting me through hell. I can't seem to get through to her.

So, I hope I can get her to read this when she comes home today. Maybe, just maybe, someone else's words will wake her up to reality. Thanks Paula!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 7 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Harish....Good to see you. Thank you for stopping by & offering words of wisdom.


Harishprasad profile image

Harishprasad 7 months ago from India

The "Self" is awesome, only thing is to look deep into it rather than following the flock blindly. Paula, you have flashed a great message all around. There is more to life than body and look only.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 7 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Vellur....Good to see you! and "Amen." I agree with you obviously.


Vellur profile image

Vellur 7 months ago from Dubai

An important message for all. We should realize that beauty is beyond the skin and it is found deep within each one of us. A great valuable write, voted up.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 19 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

I'm sure the vast majority would agree with you totally Jeannie. I remember many a time (especially after having a baby) how difficult it was to get the body back down to normal...or at least close.

Thinking back now, LOL it's funny, but I had been dieting for 2 weeks I think and my mother stopped to visit. There I was, sitting on the porch, crying.

Naturally my mother asked why and I burst out sobbing, "I'M HUNGRY""! LOL. Needless to say my mother couldn't help but laugh. After giving me a nice long lecture, she just said, "Now stop imitating the baby and go EAT!"

It's a real pain. Also, as we age and mature and see the silliness of it all, we are much easier on ourselves and realize what's really important!.....Have a cookie Jeannie! LOL. Peace, paula


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 19 months ago from Baltimore, MD

It is hard to deal with weight and feeling good about ourselves. When I dieted and exercised all the time, I looked better but I desperately wanted to attack anyone that walked by me with fries or a slice of pizza. Now I am considered overweight, but I don't feel the need to attack people eating food in front of me anymore. Instead, I get to hear from my doctor about how overweight I am and how I need to stop eating. I know the media does not help us, but sometimes professionals don't either. I get it that I need to be healthier, but I also would not mind feeling happy, too. Exercise and eating like a rabbit never brought me any joy!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 19 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

torri....I'm with you! Thanks for sharing your feelings. You have a good attitude!


torrilynn profile image

torrilynn 19 months ago

I agree and feel as if the media has the unrealistic ideas that are very impressionable on young men and women that every one needs to be super fit or skinny. I feel that as a society we should accept ourselves for who we are and just love. Also, I like the song choice by Billy Joel- "Just The Way You Are" included at the end. Great work. Voted up. Best of wishes.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 19 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Yes, I suppose they're accepting an ounce here and there, but it's going to take these moguls a long time to let go of an image they created and pushed and shoved since the early '60's!!

France went too far when they "outlawed" skininess? OR did you mean when they "Fostered" it. In some cases I see a need for some serious soul searching about just how long and hard one can STARVE one's self!!

Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your input. Right now I'd LOVE a big juicy cheeseburger.....LOADED! with Fries!


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 19 months ago

I see more larger women models these days and that's a good thing.

I think France went too far when they outlawed skinniness!

I still see models that are in serious need of cheeseburger.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 19 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

You always bring me a smile, sweet Bobbi. YOU are beauty itself!


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 19 months ago from Florida

Hi Paula,

This is a great hub for all of us to take note and consider if we need to have a better diet for healthy living.

I let my doctor worry about my weight and I just enjoy living life my way. I feel if someone has a problem with my body image; it is their issue not mine. I do not obsess over my looks or body; I suppose my mind has been on others instead of myself.

My one vanity however, is my toenails~ they have to always be polished because I wear sandals most of the year in Florida. Other than my toenails; I apply makeup very lightly when going out and my hair brushed~then I am ready.

My hair is short now, so it takes less time to manage. Wash, dry and shake (I feel like Sweetie Angel) and then I am ready.

Maybe I should wear my glasses or contacts when I brush my teeth to see what others are seeing, but then I might not like what I see. So, I will continue to brush without inspecting myself in the mirror.

Paula, you take care and since your photo shows your beauty---sprinkle some beautiful dust my way.

Bobbi Purvis


mary615 profile image

mary615 19 months ago from Florida

I just don't get it!! Why is "body image" so important to women? I get so tired of reading about diets and how to lose weight. Why don't women just stop stuffing their faces with junk food. I do not own scales. I can tell by my Jeans if I pick up a pound!

Voted this UP, and shared.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 22 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

peach......There are so many reasons that people can become obsessive with any number of things. Body image is one of those things that can be avoided, when & if this perception is changed around by the advertisers, media and other powers that reach our youth.

Thanks for stopping by.


peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 22 months ago from Home Sweet Home

eww, i can't stand teens and ladies who are obsessed with their body,


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Cesky.....Nice of you to visit and leave a thoughtful comment. I am happy to meet a new hubber and I wish you much success......


Cesky profile image

Cesky 2 years ago from Nairobi

At the end of the day all that matters is being happy and healthy. No matter how small, beautiful and smart you are, if you don't see yourself on a positive light, all that is nothing.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

LOL..pawpaw....Yes, that does work well! Even better...don't own anything but a small hand-held mirror, just to get the lash out of your eye!! LOL...Thank you for your common sense!


Pawpawwrites profile image

Pawpawwrites 2 years ago from Kansas

It is scary what some people do to themselves, in the name of perfection. I've found it helps if I don't look in the mirror as often.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thank you, Emunah.......I appreciate your thoughtful comment, vote & tweet.


swilliams profile image

swilliams 2 years ago from Arizona

The need to promote the danger of self destruction can not be expressed enough. Very insightful Hub! Voted up and tweeted out!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Jeannie.....You make a whole lot of sense and I do agree......There's that "Damned Happy Medium" we're always hoping to achieve.....no obsessing in one direction or the other.

I think that's a difficult balance when all around you......there's pressure from the hype. Maybe we should be pushing "independent thinking!!"

Thanks for the visit, Jeannie!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD

I struggle with this myself. I would like to be OK with my weight and sometimes I actually am. However, I have been gaining weight and exercising less in the last year or so. I don't think it is healthy to keep doing that. So I try to balance things... I don't want to obsess over weight, yet I don't want to be unhealthy. I think people should be happy with themselves, yet a little self-improvement, especially for the sake of good health is never a bad thing. I think the matter is very complicated. Thank you for tackling this subject.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Kelly.....Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I appreciate your input. I see a good portion of your work is dedicated to the health and fitness of our bodies. Wonderful! I look forward to checking out your hubs. Peace, Paula


Easy Exercise profile image

Easy Exercise 2 years ago from United States

This is such an important topic. From the young to the old, we are obsessed with unhealthy thinness. Weather it is worshiping money or our waistline, the bottom should be our health. Our heart, our muscles and our relationships should be our priority.

Loved your article, especially the ending. Voted up!


Blake83 profile image

Blake83 2 years ago from Poughkeepsie, NY

Oh no, I'm the world's one and only mind reader! *grins*

I exercise like a maniac, but love to eat and have some beers on the weekend. So no, not zero body fat. Don't have the discipline. Life is too delicious.

Anyway, yeah, really enjoyed this. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff. Happy to give a boost. ;)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Awww shucks, Blake.......Thanks. You must have known I needed a boost today......but you don't believe in "psychics".....so I have to accept that you're just a "nice guy!".....LOL

Glad you liked my hub, even though you run and take excellent care of yourself and probably have next to zero body fat!!

Here's a little secret...Keep doing what you're doing. Trust me on this. After a certain age I will not print here....our bodies do whatever the HELL they want to do and it AIN'T pretty!


Blake83 profile image

Blake83 2 years ago from Poughkeepsie, NY

Hi Paula,

This is a great piece. Very well-written, inspirational, and thoughtful. Voted up and shared. You're great.


JoeYoung22 profile image

JoeYoung22 2 years ago from Blyth, Northumberland, England

You certainly did - thanks :)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Hello Joe....Happy to have you visit! Thanks so much and especially for the "follow.".....I surely hope I sent some visitors your way by sharing your wonderful hubs I read recently!


JoeYoung22 profile image

JoeYoung22 2 years ago from Blyth, Northumberland, England

A very interesting and well-written hub. I have seen at first hand how media pressure can destroy self-esteem, but I don't buy into their shallow ideal, where only the slim and the 'pretty' matter.

And yes, I was horrified.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

You're not only one smart lady...You're a Super Mom!! Way to pay attention, Mom!

Good to see you.....who's been missing? Me or you? LOL


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 2 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Paula I'm so glad to see you write this one. I have a special hatred for scales and I do not allow one in my house. When my first girl started weighing herself daily and I saw the feelings revolve around the tick marks on the scale I tossed it. I swore I'd never own one again and so far...I do not have one...not even a kitchen scale. I will not watch my kids weigh their value!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Suzie........I'm sorry honey.....but you just now shocked me to my core! I knew nothing about your recent surgery, my dear sweet friend!

I am there with you, holding your hand and offering hugs for a speedy recovery.

I sincerely wish I was close enough to you to come visit and bring you good things to eat and fun things to do......Bless your heart, Suzie and I send you positive vibes of healing.........Love you, Paula


Suzie HQ profile image

Suzie HQ 2 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

Hi Paula, What a great and vital message your words send to us all. I saw much of it in the modelling world when I worked as a Make-U Artist. I myself have often been unhappy with my outward appearance but thankfully never took it to the extreme. Ironically I find myself having those lack of confidence moments now as I am recovering from having my right toes amputated in Feb, hence my absence. How will people react to my foot? How will it look to me? Your words were just what the doctor ordered to me. As always written with heart, thank yu my friend! XXXX


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thanks much,Dianna....No doubt that teachers have an up close and personal view of so much of what effects children and young adults. I can only imagine the realities you deal with on a daily basis. Yet another reason I so admire and respect "teachers" every where. Your influences can be so dramatically beneficial!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

I have seen this among young teens and it always tears me up to see how they think about themselves. An old high school friend of mine still suffers from low self-esteem at 60 years of age. She is as thin as Twiggy in the photo you post. Her family life was dysfunctional and the leading cause of it all. So glad you posted this message and I pray that it reaches young people who need to listen to your wisdom. Voted +++


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

You're so sweet......it shines through! I think we can feel safe in believing that "Nature" takes it's authentic course for specific reasons. Once again we go back to Primitive Man.

When done attracting the caveman and bearing children.....our bodies change to become" softened, protective, comfortable & patient." That's the perfect description of a Grandmother.

If we do not learn from early on to accept the changes caused by our human nature.....we become plastic, rigid and thus, "breakable."

Thanks Suzette.

Bless the former six-pack that may now be a pillow.........!!


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 2 years ago from Taos, NM

Great article you have written here, fpherj. I enjoyed reading this. Yes, we need to get off the scale, turn off the TV and close the fashion magazines. The images we are bombarded with in our culture are ridiculous and not realistic as to who we are as a people. I am heavier in my 'mature' age, but when I look in the mirror, I see that thin, skinny girl I was in my youth. LOL! I see the opposite of what others see when they look in the mirror. As a culture, we need to stop obsessing with our looks and go out and be the best person we can be. I so enjoyed reading this and this is a great hub!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Well Ed...I may as well confess publicly....I just LOVE all of you!! LOL What sweet-talker you are. I have no doubt that all the lovely ladies you check out, would be thrilled to spend time with a gentleman such as you!

You CAN be proud. You have a great attitude.

Everybody's Beautiful...in their own way.............Thanks for the visit!


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 2 years ago

Paula dear , I pride myself in looking at any woman and seeing immediately her beauty ,especially inner beauty , the smile , the hands the personality , the laugh , how she moves and how she walks and I love a woman who is strong too in self confidence , or not , I can feed off from being a good listener , most women like that ! I'll take a real woman Any-day over the magazine cover girls . Weight , figure , none of that means much does it !....Ed, By the way I love your smile .


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Alastar &

CM

Looks like I'm breaking up a party here!! LOL... Thanks to both of you wise and awesome people. I believe you've established some very important ideas.

If ever there were two beautiful people...its you!


CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 2 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

That's a beautiful quote Alastar. If there was only one look that was beautiful, there would be mighty long queues for some people and lots of lonely ones.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 2 years ago from North Carolina

So well said, Cynthia. And for the second and last time (thank goodness!) an original AP quote: "The forms nature has bestowed on the fairer sex came in all shapes and sizes and are as unique as snowflakes falling on a beautiful winter's day."


CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 2 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

I love cake and nobody's opinion about my body is going to part me from it lol! But there is a serious problem over here in the UK where young girls are depressed, self-harming and even committing suicide because they don't think they look the way they should. And this is being fuelled by other youngsters trolling them on social media because of the way they look. A desire to express yourself, be unique or different should be applauded and welcomed, not slammed

But who gets to say what is beautiful or not? As the hub says we all perceive things differently and find different things beautiful. All sizes, shapes, hair colours, skin tones, nose sizes etc should be celebrated and it is the total package of mind, body and spirit that makes up a human being, not just external appearance or one feature that doesn't happen to 'fit' the current fashions


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 2 years ago from North Carolina

You got it, effer. This one's worth perusing again. I've seen more young women with body image obsession ruin themselves and interpersonal-relationships than from any other cause.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Nell my friend...you can stop by anytime you choose!!! Especially when I get around to writing a new hub one of these days!! LOL


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

Hiya Paula, just popped by to say hi, and read this again, voted up and shared!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Au fait.....Your response is a thoughtful and inspiring one. I thank you.

Your knowledge and confidence in discussing the reasons, causes and possible breakthrough for these issues is invaluable. Always good to hear your voice on all matters.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 2 years ago from North Texas

Men also suffer from anorexia, believe it or not, but we never hear about it in the media. This is a good common sense article and I hope people will take it to heart, but a the same time I know that most people will do anything, whatever it takes, to fit in.

I suspect we are now at the stage where people say what is expected, what you have written here, and continue to starve themselves because they know that is what's really expected. Hopefully we will get past the starving and do more than just talk about it. Don't get me wrong, talking is important because it's the first step in change. Change is often a very slow process.

Very much appreciate this article and what you are trying to get across. You have my support and greatest hope that you will succeed. I think it's time we put a stop to the body shaming that is getting really nasty nowadays, and move on to more important substantive things as you have outlined here.

There is so much unhappiness in the world entirely due to too much emphasis on shallow issues -- age, looks, money. More consideration should be placed on the things that rarely change -- intelligence, talent, and compassion and tolerance for others. Looks fade, age changes continually, income goes up and down and is often at the mercy of things beyond our control, but disposition and personality, intelligence and compassion tend to be fairly steady.

A wonderful message that I hope all will take to heart. Voted up, BAUI, pinned to Awesome Hubpages, and will share.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

beth.....I'm sure you were not alone.....as far as starving goes. To this day, I personally know women who starve....and deprive themselves of any and all simple pleasures, in terms of food & beverage, for the sake of a pound or two.

To each her own, of course....but these same women who strictly limit their intake and obsessively focus on how they LOOK, are also the women who are always sick with one illness or another.

Compromising one's immune system for the sake of being model thin is irresponsible and dangerous. More importantly? These women have daughters who are following the examples of their Moms.

I feel as though one day I will receive the call that one of their daughters has been hospitalized for the results of anorexia or bulimia.

I must always wonder.....is it worth it? Thanks for the visit. I'm sure you look just fine and it sounds like you've adopted healthy habits!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 2 years ago from Tennesee

fpherj48, a beautiful article and so very true.

And I'll be honest, I used to starve myself and was rail thin - and much, much LESS happy with myself than after I stopped doing that. I maintain a good figure, but I refuse to starve myself, and I get regular (but sensible) exercise.

Thanks for posting. The message needs to be repeated!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

lady.....Thank you for the visit and thoughtful comment. Your words are comforting and so true......I'm pleased you enjoyed my hub. Peace, Paula.


ladyweight profile image

ladyweight 2 years ago

You know, sometimes we need to be reminded of our self-worth. The way things are portrayed are not always the way things are supposed to be. People are often misguided into believing that everything and everyone else is beautiful and perfect except themselves. We spend our lives obsessing about vain and materialistic matters, only to neglect our own well-being. Until we start to value ourselves above all other material concerns, we will continue to strive for the unattainable; and our sufferings will never cease. Thanks for a truly inspiring article.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Meisjunk...You're welcome. We all need reminders now and then......so we remain focused on the truly good and important things that make us happy and healthy...and loving life!


Meisjunk profile image

Meisjunk 2 years ago from Pennsylvania

This is beautiful! Thanks so much for reminding me of the important things. =)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thank you Nithya....I see you think the same way. It concerns me so that young girls are hurting themselves and becoming unhealthy...just because they are being lead to believe they must fit the images that the media bombards us with every day.


Vellur profile image

Vellur 2 years ago from Dubai

A great hub, being ourselves and enjoying who we are is very important. We should be proud of who we are and live life happily. We should be healthy, follow the right diet and exercise but the pursuit of the perfect body should not become an obsession. A very valuable hub, voted up.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

You are correct, DDE.....and the topic of those who do not have access to wholesome foods, is an even bigger problem that needs attention and solutions. Thanks for your input. Peace, Paula


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

A great hub! Eat properly to have a great shape. Our shapes are all different. Eat the healthy foods and living healthy lives is not always possible for everyone.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

MG......The pressure thrown at young women especially....insisting on the rail thin female image.......causes so many problems, insecurities and unnecessary stress & anxiety for girls who should be focusing on their education, athletics and healthy social activities, instead of what they look like!! Thank you for visiting and commenting.


MG Singh profile image

MG Singh 2 years ago from Singapore

Nice post. I don't think anybody should tinker with his or her body. Its bound to boomerang at some stage


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Right, Midget!!......How dull & boring if we all looked the same!


midget38 profile image

midget38 2 years ago from Singapore

Paula, well, well said. We should just learn to accept ourselves as we are. We are affected by what others tell how we should look, but hey, we have our own individuality to remember!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Lady G....Thanks for reading my work and especially for the nice compliment. I appreciate the follow too! Bless you.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

cfin.....Of course men have some of these issues as well.....in different areas, as you noted. The funny thing is that there are just as many people who are attracted to all sorts of different shapes and sizes...as we think there are to strictly "perfect" bodies!

What I believe matters so much more than anything physical...is someone's heart. REALLY!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Nell...my girl from across the pond.....I wonder just how fit & trim we'd have to be to swim all the way to each other's country?

It would actually be a MIRACLE for me....because I can't swim!! Could you see me with a floatie on each arm, around my waist and one on each leg? How cute I would be!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Vee....You're pretty, talented, smart, funny and lovable....so you want svelte too? I kind of doubt you have many extra pounds Vee...but if you insist...then just do it slowly, healthy and know when to stop.

As a Senior....I'd like to let you know that after 55 or so.....TOO thin accentuates WRINKLES and makes you look pale and emaciated. A little bit of meat never hurts!.......:) You're still young...but NUTRITION becomes even more vital than ever as you age!


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 2 years ago from West Virginia

Some people, whomever they are, need to get real and stop telling others, especially teens, how they should look like. I mean who the heck started with the Barbie figure in the first place. I think they really need their head examined to begin with. Now all the media about all those who,in their opinions are fat. I looked across the cultures and some relish the well rounded person opposed to the thin figure. I agree with Nell Rose too.


cfin profile image

cfin 2 years ago from The World we live in

It's funny how men are afraid to admit this, but it matters to us too. We just pretend it doesn't. If it's not our weight its something else physical.

I get chubby and I get skinny, depends on the season. I used to hate having the extra pounds, but I find that sometimes, if one can't see themselves for what they really are (my wife would tell me I'm crazy), then they may be better off, not being so serious about themselves. It's not healthy. I stopped caring, while at the same time eating for my health and not my weight or appearance and now I'm in good shape. Self acceptance whether your delusional or not should be the aim of the game. If you can't like yourself.....


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

Hi Paula, wow! seems our minds are very similar on the subject of body image, and you are so right, who cares how fat our legs are as long as we can run to help someone? so many people these days really especially take notice of what's on tv the internet and so on, I am sure we weren't like that back in the day, so important to be individual and have the common sense to do it right, voted up and shared! nell


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 2 years ago from Arkansas, USA

But I really want to lose weight and get in shape, Effer! I want to be svelte! This is a great hub. Seriously. Young kids should be more encouraged to accept themselves just the way you are. You're a beautiful person, girl. I really liked the video, too.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thanks so much, Pam.....I understand exactly what you mean when you stress that these messages need to reach the teens.

The good news is that so much of the constant and drastic images used in marketing & entertainment is being seriously questioned and changing ever so slowly. I do believe a portion of responsible and conscience-driven women of the media, as well as the fashion world are speaking up and rejecting the deceit. Two high profile models I can think of at the moment are Brooke Shields and Tyra Banks.....I say Bravo to them.

Have a Blessed Easter, Pam!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States

This is such an important message and I really wish young teens could get this message. You made so many excellent points about body image and I loved the video also. Awesome!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Kathleen....you may have something there.....with a slant from a young woman....and a slant from the "Senior" side of town! Holler when you're ready. You lead, I follow. I've led many a war in my day.....I acquiesce my Title to the new recruits! :)


Kathleen Odenthal profile image

Kathleen Odenthal 2 years ago from Bayonne, New Jersey

Love it my fellow partner in crime in bashing body image stigma! I loved this piece, and shared it. We should work on an ebook together on body image!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

MARTIE! Yoo Hoo.....of course you realize the comment to "Matie" is YOU with a typo....I guess amongst all our similarities, we both own a boat too, Matie!! LOL


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

I coulda made some money on this one!! I KNEW your piece would go from small to large!! Can't fool me GF.....too much alike!!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

The pie was delish!!! Well, my rather large slice, not the entire pie :)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Dear Guilty-as-charged. No worries.....I can get you a short sentence with time off for driving the C.O's insane. I'll visit you every day. Promise. You can even do your push-ups in the cell......

Did you say Key lime pie? What's to debate? Get me a fork!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Alastar......Ha! When it comes to women, (snow flakes and all) you wouldn't have a worry in the world.....handsome, brilliant, intriguing...and he even dances!!! Every woman's fantasy, all packed up nicely, sitting on the porch in North Carolina.

Now, stop blushing...and don't try to deny it. BTW....no 2 men are built exactly the same way either....trust me, I KNOW. I keep my eyes zeroed in on every one that passes by....and my hands to myself, of course. Ahem cough cough! Excuse me, I have a tiny cold.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

Uh oh. I'm guilty as charged. Not to the point of obsession. Ok, I just lied. I do NOT want to look like Paris Hilton, EVER. I'm not lying. A few minutes ago I was debating if I wanted a slice of key lime pie, I decided...I'll have one. A small one. Maybe. Lol


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 2 years ago from North Carolina

Effer, all I can say to this is something I wrote in my memoir blog "Dim the Lights!": ...However, I did discover no two women are built exactly the same. The lovely forms that nature has bestowed on the fairer sex come in all shapes and sizes and are as unique as snowflakes falling on a beautiful winter's day.:)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

ROFLMAO!!! Ohhhh Maria.....thank you for the HUGE laugh over your HUGE hunk of cake!.....You crack me up, girl!

Yes, I am here now...and always up to no good, causing trouble where ever I can! Hey...it keeps me off the streets.

OMG...we're so effing BEAUTIFUL.....I can't stand it! (obviously I have no trouble at all with singing praises) Ya think anyone believes us??


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 2 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Oh my gosh, I love this message, dear Paula...

I want to come back to watch the video with a big ole hunk of cake after dinner...LOL.

Where the heck were you 30 years ago? Never mind, you're here now and we are both entirely too beautiful to worry about it!

HOPPY Easter to you and much love, Maria


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

EVERYONE!!! Go to Mckbird's comment and click on the link! It's your dose of love and happiness for the whole week!!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Mckbird.....Thank you! You could not have known (I don't think?) that I had a fantasy love affair with Ray Stevens, oh so many years ago....and this song is my favorite!

You could have related your "bad jokes," this is a Free Spirit Site.....no censoring allowed.

No one cares what you look like. It would be too late to stop loving you anyway!..Happy Easter!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Matie...I'm afraid you must have some faulty mirrors in your home...Best toss them out! I know a trick. Let me share it, GF.

Look at your reflection in the eyes of your loved ones & friends........I promise, you will see an exquisite being!..............Aries admiration.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 2 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Two bad jokes came to mind, so instead, here is Ray Stevens:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tL-0Cc4beqw

ok. ok

1.) I was told I looked like a super model, but it was prison so....

2.) I dropped five pounds once, the handle of the briefcase broke....

I knew secretly you wanted to know.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 2 years ago from South Africa

What a well-needed hub (and video) to be read at least once a week. Being intimidated by the Media and Hollywood, my eyes seems to be like sadistic enemies. I feel okay until I see myself in a mirror, or in a picture. Then I have to remind myself that the true me is a spirit inside an imperfect body. Not even those beautiful actresses and models are 100% happy with their physical appearance. This is an awesome, encouraging hub. Thanks, Paula :)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

sheila.....Hi there and thanks for stopping by with your very thoughtful comment. It's clear you know what really matters!

I agree with you 100% about those "pushing" the unrealistic and unhealthy image should simply STOP.


sheilamyers 2 years ago

I love the Steve Maraboli quote! I think it could apply to other things besides a person's weight. To me, beauty begins from within. No matter what a person looks like, it's how they act, what they say, and how they treat other people and themselves that really matters. Your hub needs to be read, understood, and put into practice by anyone who is dieting in order to fit the "perfect mold". Even more so, I think this one needs to be read by the people who are forcing that image on our young people. It's time they see the beauty within and not what's on the outside.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Elizabeth.....I keep hoping the trend will shift. There are small pockets of smart young women who are actively advocating for "Health & Nutrition" FIRST! This is a great start!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

D.J. Well now...there IS such a thing as "Priorities!" We all know cookies and milk before bed is a must! I do peanut butter..how about you?

It must really suck to be a skinny girl!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Oh Sha.....SPANX! LOL. I got brave and bought a pair. I planned on meeting friends for dinner. By the time I wrestled with them and struggled to get them on......I called my friends and told them to start without me! I had to take a nap!!...LOL


epbooks profile image

epbooks 2 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

Very important message here and yes, that picture is indeed horrifying. It is sad how now it seems only acceptable to be super skinny and nothing else will do. Awesome hub.


DJ Anderson 2 years ago

Super hub, Paula.

There are two truths, here: As long as they continue to air brush photos, females will continue to compare themselves to the unattainable.

And, as long as I continue to eat cookies and drink milk at bedtime, I will

never have to worry about looking like one of those starving models.

Great job on this hub!

DJ.


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

Paula, this is something we all need to realize. Especially those of us who have put on weight. We're still the same people inside. At least we should be. We should never let self-image destroy the beauty that lives within us.

We are constantly bombarded with images of the "beautiful" people. Thin is in and fat is unacceptable. People judge the book by it's cover and that is so unfair. Shoot even the ads for Spanx and other "slimming" garments are modeled by women who fit sleekly into those binding, suffocating garments.

The message you are sending here is one that should be embedded in everyone's psyche. Beauty is not only skin deep. It is found much deeper within. Once we realize that, we can't help but shine.

Let it all hang out!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

As a matter of simple fact bro.....I give us both high grades! The only other point I think is necessary is......those grades are damned-sure well-earned!......


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

This is such an important message, Sis, and one that I wish every teen in America would read and internalize. I saw so much of the angst when I was teaching middle school students....sad, really, and so avoidable with the proper raising and support. Well, thank God you and I like who we are, right? :)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

You are indeed correct, Flourish. Popeye said it best, "I is who I is and that's all that I is!".....and yes, we need to let that be ENOUGH! Have a Blessed Easter.......


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

Someone else will always be thinner, prettier, flashier, etc. It's important to accept who you are and know when good enough is ... good enough. If you believe it, it will show in the way you carry yourself. You have a good message here.

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