Can You Ride the Bus With No Balance?

The Right Way to Ride A Bus

Courtesy of www.flickr.com
Courtesy of www.flickr.com

This trip down memory lane is inspired by this hub from Valerie about riding on the bus. My memory is more humorous in nature, as it deals with my crazy inability to keep my balance while standing, actually even while sitting on a bus. I'm not that great in cars either, but since there is nowhere to go, I can fake it and appear to have more balance then I possess. If you have MS and suffer from balance issues, I hope this gives you a chuckle.

You will notice the picture I have included, entitled the The Right Way to Ride a Bus.  That's how I would like to be seen on a bus, calm, cool, collected and coordinated .  It's anything but that type of experience when I get on or in anything that moves and I can trace the beginning of my balance problems back to the late 80's before I was diagnosed with MS, when it became abundantly clear I had a balance issue of some kind.

"Dar-Dar You Can't Stand Up?"

Those precious words formed the question my dear nephew asked me back in the 80's when he, my niece and my sister watched me being thrown around by a bus going in a straight direction. He gave me that name when he was just learning to talk in the early 80's. He couldn't pronounce my name so he said what he could get out, which was Dar-Dar. It has been a family nickname for me ever since. Even my oldest friends refer back to the name every now and then as a term of affection.

Here I stood, trying to hold on to the seat he was in. I had him take the seat that was available, like any good Aunt would do. My sister was behind me a few rows holding her neice in her arms, easily swaying with the movement of the bus. Seemed so effortless to me. I assumed I just needed to imitate her stance and posture and I would be alright.

Of course, it didn't work. There is no imitation in the world that can replace your sense of balance. You either have it or you don't. That was the day I discovered I didn't have it.

A Rude Awakening

"I'm just losing my balance" I replied to my very concerned nephew, when he asked if I could stand up.

"Dar-Dar, you want me to stand up?" "No, I'm ok, I'll just hold on better."

My poor nephew watched me slipping and sliding and being thrown to the left and right until some seats finally opened up. Almost in unison he and my sister pointed me to the seat so that I could get some relief. I'll never forget the look on my sister's face. I looked at her as if to say, "what in the world is MY problem" She looked at me as if to answer back, "I have NO idea!"

At the time I rode the bus, it would be in Philly when I visited my sister. I would be visiting from Illinois, where I was living at the time. I would be without my car, so we took public transportation, a normal way of travel for her and her children.

Every single time we went out, I exhibited the same annoying behaviour. I could not for the life of me just ride the bus like a normal person. If it was crowded and I had to stand, I dreaded the looks I would be sure to get from those seated beside me, as I held on to their aisle seat. "Lady WHAT is your problem?" Seemed to be what they were all asking through their facial expressions and eye movements.

How many times can you look down at the person seated next to you and say, Excuse me, Oh I'm sorry, Oops, I'm sorry. The more we rode the bus, it seemed the worse my balance issues became. At the time I didn't know I was only 4 or 5 years from being diagnosed with MS. At the time I just wondered why I couldn't stand on my own two feet!

What a blow that was. I was no stranger to public transportation mind you. I had taken the bus every morning through what was in the stone ages referred to as Junior High. I had taken the bus all through High School and I had rode the bus on many occasions with my friends and family to other locations for shopping trips and the like. I never had any problem standing, sitting or swaying. Yet here I was, about 7 years removed from any previous bus rides, and I found that instead of imitating my sister, I was imitating the drunks I saw in my youth, the ones who were to high to keep themselves from falling all over seated riders who had the misfortune of sitting next to a staggering drunk hanging on for dear life to their aisle chair as he stood all the way home after consuming way to much alcohol.

And while people are sensitive to the elderly, at least they were back in the 80's, at that time I was in my late 20's. I knew how ridiculous it was for an apparently healthy young person like myself, to be falling all over people more than even the senior citizens did who I saw riding the bus with me. Some of them rode without hanging on to anything at all, yet here I was trying to hold on to an aisle seat with BOTH my hands, having positioned my legs in the optimal position to maintain my balance and still being thrown like a rag doll by some invisible anti-balancing force, invading only MY body.

It Didn't End With the Buses

It comes as no big surprise that the bus was just the beginning of my balance issues. You ever find yourself just standing up talking to someone and have to catch yourself from some imaginary wind that appeared out of no where, which seemed determined to knock you over?

WHOA! Always followed by grabbing hold of any steady object nearest to my fingertips. If I'm standing by my husband and he happens to be the closest thing to me, he gets grabbed in order to save myself from falling.

How can you fall when you aren't moving or when you haven't touched anything or made any movements to make yourself off-balanced? Would I really fall, or is it just a sensory perception issue giving me the illusion of falling? I need to woMAN up and take the chance one of these days just to see what would happen. Just let myself go the next time it happens, see if I really fall over. Yep, one of these days . . .

Oh and it is so embarrassing to go through this when I'm mouthing off at my husband. Just as I really zing him, I totally lose my sense of balance and have to go grabbing for walls or chairs or HIM. I've had to hear, "see that's what you get" so many times, that I actually beat him to the punch now and say, hmmm, that's what I get for doing or saying what I just did or said.

Here's another question inquiring minds want to know. How can you lose your balance while sitting in a car? What is going on that my body doesn't know I'm safe and secure and most of all seated, when I ride in a car. It's totally understandable when someone takes a corner too quickly or has to slam on the brakes, but c'mon must I have to hold on just because I've turned my head to look out of the window? It's ridiculous, but such is the MS life I suppose.

Sometimes I think I would get a kick out of watching myself being filmed losing my balance for no apparent rhym or reason, other than its say a MONDAY, but then again, maybe not. Maybe I should just settle for those times when it just makes me laugh at the moment. Those times when my husband and I can really see the humor in the fact that there are actually times when I can't seem to stand on my own two feet.

The one good thing from being diagnosed, is that you at least have a reason that makes sense for your inability to maintain a normal sense of balance.  I use a cane now, it was an adjustment, mentally, but one I'm glad I made. It is much harder to fall if you have a cane. I feel almost invincible with it, its become my third more stable leg, as disgusting as that is to picture. I walk a little faster when I use it, I can wear a shoe with a little bit of a heel when I use the cane and I don't stagger off to the side, like I do when I am cane-less.  I can even mouth off at my husband and not feel the earth suddenly tilt to the left or right, just because I managed to zing him really good. 

My lack of balance is also a first indicator for me these days. If I've done too much, my balance is one of the first things to go. I now appreciate that my body is telling me I've done enough, go sit down before I fall down. I've only fallen a couple of times these past 16 years with MS. Not bad considering I can't stand on my own two feet more than half the time.

Can You Ride the Bus With No Balance?

Of course you can, just remember it's gonna be a bumpy ride so bring your sense of humor a cane and maybe a prerehearsed apologetic look so that the people you accidentally hit on the head, will be more understanding.

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Comments 11 comments

Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 7 years ago from Delaware Author

Hi DoodleLyn, What a great experience and inspiration to anyone who has MS, that she is so active and travels around in her 70's! I hope I'm just like her when I grow up! LOL Glad you keep in touch through e-mail and I hope she is still doing well.


DoodleLyn profile image

DoodleLyn 7 years ago from Upstate New York, USA

Jen - A very special lady who frequented my rubber stamp/papercrafts store was in her 70's and had MS. She had good days and bad, as you described. She was ALWAYS such an inspiration to me. She would come in and visit with me for an hour at a time, and was always such a delight. I think of her a lot now that I no longer have my store. I keep in touch, through email. She has been traveling a lot, with a special van rigged special for her to drive. I miss seeing her, and am inspired by your writing to re-connect. Thanks so much for sharing!


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 7 years ago from Delaware Author

Well when you have no balance on the bus, your life certainly is not mechanical. Although being robot-like sounds good it would mean I couldn't easily tip over. Thanks for the comment cgull8m.


cgull8m profile image

cgull8m 7 years ago from North Carolina

Here our buses are almost empty can't get a chance to see this thing happening. But that is what makes life entertaining otherwise it will be too mechanical and robot-like. Be the same. Cheers.


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 7 years ago from Delaware Author

Good Morning Connie and wandererh!

You guys are going to make me shed a tear here!

Connie, you never fail to impress me with your thoughtful and introspective look into my life and feelings. Your empathy is very apparent and very appreciated. It's an added bonus that you communicate those qualities in written form so well. I don't take your friendship lightly and I'm glad we have become friends as a result of joining Hubpages!

wandererh, thank you so much for getting the humor behind this hub. Sometimes people with MS develop a warped sense of humor about problems that might not seem so funny to others. Yet, seeing the funny side of our daily struggles actually helps us endure them. This is an example of symptoms that you just have to laugh about sometimes. I'd be happy to ride the bus with you too, I could fall all into you and we could laugh about it. I wouldn't have to worry that you would slug me. LOL


wandererh profile image

wandererh 7 years ago from Singapore

Hi Jen, I have been reading your hubs but I don't think I have ever left a comment. It must be very difficult to keep it all together and I would like to borrow from what Connie said about how gracefully you have handled things.

Having said that, I would love to be on the bus with you one day. I am quite sure it will be quite entertaining. :)


Connie Smith profile image

Connie Smith 7 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida

To Jen and Valerie,  when wanting to comment on this, one word popped into my head:  grace.  I looked it up in the dictionary and realized that, yes, it is the perfect word to describe this.  Grace means smoothness of movement, undoubtably not happening for either of you on the bus, but grace also is a generosity of spirit and a capacity to tolerate.  The abundant grace you both show in dealing with MS and with others more than makes up for the lack of grace on the bus.  Since that is the case, I am happy to announce that you are both quite the most graceful girls I know. 


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 7 years ago from Delaware Author

So it's an inner ear thing, thanks emohealer. Makes sense now that I think about it, but at the time it happens just feels like I need to anchor myself down, or stand up straight or something. LOL  Thanks for your comment as always I enjoy hearing from you.

Hi dawei888, I deleted the comment, no prob! You sound like my husband. LOL  He is Johnny on th spot to get one of the 3 canes I have. I agree with you the shame is falling, which I've done when I didn't have my cane, mind you, and will be another story to tell at another time. Thanks for your comment.

~Jen

Hey Valerie, we must have been posting at the same time. OK, you win! I'm the one ROTFL imagining your cat wondering, "why's she on the floor again?" If inanimate objects could only talk eh? Your cat, my walls, the air. They'd surely have a lot to say about our falling out of thin air.

Thanks for the laugh, I couldn't stop thinking about this and laughing, to myself ever since your hub was published. Figured I'd get it out of my system if I wrote it down. Glad you understand the intended humor.


Violet Valerie profile image

Violet Valerie 7 years ago from Westminster, Colorado

I am laughing so hard right now, and yes I owe you an email.  :)

I often get hit by that mysterious invisible wind that takes your balance while standing entirely still.  My cat actually thinks I am crazy because on 2 occasions I had nothing to grab and fell straight backwards onto my behind!  Once was right after I got out of the shower, I am sure there is nothing more pitiful than a naked person falling backwards onto their tush for no reason!  Sometimes I am very glad I live alone, I can handle the cats looks of confusion, but humans...not so sure.

My favorite is the times I wake up and in my still half asleep stupor don't realize I am dealing with some leg numbness so I go to get out of bed and fall flat on my face!

HUGS!


dawei888 profile image

dawei888 7 years ago

Hi Jen - I'm so glad you use that cane! There's absolutely no shame in using it knowing that it helps to keep you more stable and safer on your own two feet. Thanks for this hub, dawei888


emohealer profile image

emohealer 7 years ago from South Carolina

Jen, it is priceless how you share your experiences. This type of balance is actually located in the inner ear, so it makes good sense you could "lose" it while sitting. Once again, thank you for enlightening us with your special flair for writing.

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