Coping With Fear And Cancer Part III

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Fear

Fear sneaks up on you. Fear strikes when you least expect. Fear blindsides you when everything seems to be going well.

Do you know where you are going? Fear can attack when you do know where you are going as well as when you don't.
Do you know where you are going? Fear can attack when you do know where you are going as well as when you don't. | Source

Another Morning

Got up today, played with the dogs, went back to bed until the alarm went off, hit snooze, finally got up. My husband brought me coffee in bed. I read for awhile to wake up. A friend, has a coffee pot in her upstairs bathroom. She prepares coffee for brewing every night, so coffee is ready when she gets up. For me, today, the coffee is a treat. Coffee doesn't agree with my stomach anymore and the embarrassing side effects aren't worth it mostly. I only drank a little bit. There is nothing like holding a cup of coffee, the smell wafting into your nostrils. The smell of tea doesn't satisfy the way coffee does. Feel my sternum to see if I feel anything new. Not sure one way or another about lumps and bumps. FEAR is creeping in. Fear must be stopped before it spreads or it consumes you. What you think determines how you act. So I jump out of bed and call my neighbor to see if she can walk. The answer is ,"Yes". We do a quick walk with my dogs. We have happy things to talk about today. We will have a grand baby this year.. Everyone has some kind of fear. Cancer defines the reason for fear. Everyone has fear of some kind. Fear of losing a job or a loved one. Fear of not reaching goals. Everyone has fear they can conquer.

Library  Statue
Library Statue | Source

What YouThink

What you think is very important. My friend lost a lot of weight last year. She started bicycling recently and is afraid she can't keep up with me . The same muscle that carried 40 pounds around for 10 years makes her a killer strong bicyclist. The one time we rode she kicked my fanny.

The errands of the day must get done. There is the fear that they won't get done.

The first errand is oil change and smog software updated on the car. Put the bike on the car, then call swim friend to tell her I will meet her at rec center after the car is dropped off. She is at the pool, The pool is closed for a swim meet? Really, a swim meet on a Friday morning in May. Where are the swimmers coming from? Swim buddy needs to return books to the library in the next town. We decide to ride bikes. Buddy has to leave for the airport at noon, we hurry. Drop the car at the dealer. Meet buddy and off we go. We ride hard. We started later than planned. We still get to the library two minutes before it opens, Stretch, use the facilities, and we are homeward bound. The ride home has a wonderful downhill. We finish on the steep hill to her house. I make a short stop to see what she will wear to granddaughter's christening. She is fearful that she won't look good at the christening. How will the other grandparents react to she and her husband. These fears she conquers with an elegant outfit and the strength of her conviction that they have been good parents and will be wonderful grandparents despite the distance. The jewelry to accompany the outfit was her grandmothers giving her a little confidence that it was a grandmotherly sort of elegant..

The car is ready when I get home. My husband and I ride to car dealer.Load the bikes onto the rack. We go to Performance Bicycle. then stop at Peets Coffee. Jasmine Lime coolers are soothing. They may be addictive,they are so good.

Things on the to do list are being ticked off; giving the dogs baths, filling the green bin before tomorrows manicure, hanging out the laundry are all that remains. If only I could type while filling the green bin and hanging laundry. The best ideas fill my mind as I trim branches and stuff them in the bin. The chest sort of hurts. Is it the cancer or the radiation? This is the way the fear attacks. You have a wonderful day, then, "Pow". There it is fear, mostly of the unknown.

Beauty Helps Cope With Fear

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When Fear Attacks

What do you do when fear attacks. Cancer isn't supposed to come back the way mine did, so I am grateful that I had 15 years without cancer. Being grateful changes your perspective. Thankfulness redirects your thinking. I have an elderly friend who is going through chemo therapy. She will be 81 in a few days. When we talk on the phone she is always funny. She is a strong lady. Her only son died 5 years ago. She isn't afraid to die. She is confident of going to heaven. I have a young friend who is funny and kind. I don't know if she had any faith at all. Surrounding yourself with funny and kind people really helps with fear. When you are funny people want to be around you. You need to be near to people when you have cancer. Yes even introverts need to be with people who care to scare off the fear.

Purpose

Some people say religion is a crutch. I have sprained my ankle and crutches make walking possible when you have a bum ankle. My religion goes way further than walking on crutches. Religion is following rules. My faith is following a man. Believing Jesus was a good teacher, but that what he said was untrue makes him a liar not a good man? My faith tells me that God prepared good works for me before I was born. Good works show that I follow that man, but they don't make me good. My faith tells me that when I confess that Jesus is Lord and believe in my heart that God raised him from the dead I will be saved. My faith tells me that I am never alone or forsaken. I really take that to heart. In the wee small hours of the night I can read in the Book, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." There is another place that says "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid." So I talk to God. Some call it praying. I just talk.. Telling God when I am afraid helps. I have a long history of seeing God work in my life. My long history of studying the bible shows me that God is amazing. Lots of people talk about god being judgmental and Christians being radical. Christians are called to be radically joyful, loving and caring they aren't called to be perfect.

I believe God has a purpose for my life. Purpose is an essential defense against fear. Some people think knowing more about your situation helps. I have seen too many days, to understand that, knowing more about situation still doesn't enable you to do anything. I read a poll recently said that 85 percent of the people they polled were afraid they had no purpose. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps the evolution is the reason, so many people are afraid they have no purpose. If you came from genetic soup are you special? Do you have purpose? .

My purpose is to love God and the people he created. People are to be loved and encouraged. People are special because they are people not because of what they can do or who they are.


Love People

I didn't like people when I was younger. They didn't do what I wanted them to do. I couldn't control them, and most irritatingly they didn't read my mind. When my first child was born things began to change. There was someone besides me to think about. The process has been gradual. The closer I follow "The Book" the more I am like the man I follow. I study "The Book". It's all about people. They don't have to be the same faith I am. The book tells me people are all loved by the man I follow. He was in the beginning and loves people. Frequently people believe what others say about my friend, Jesus, not what the bible says. People who have never read all of the Bible say wild things about it, but that doesn't bother God. He is in the business of loving people and helping them deal with fear.

Not Leaving Yet

As long as there are people who need to be encouraged by me, I am staying around this old world.

I read a story about a home bound elderly woman. She had little income, but wanted to make a difference in the world. The only thing she had was a telephone. She took her telephone book and started with A, She determined to call everyone in the phone book and wish them a good day. Amazing conversations came from those calls. You have to do something to fight off fear. What are you going to do today. Will you pray? Will you help others? Thinking about fear breeds fear. Go out and change the world. It beats fear. Determine to bring joy to people. Laugh even when you don't feel like it. Laughter is contagious and it is difficult to worry and laugh at the same time. :)

Another year has come and gone another grand baby is on the way, I still live with cancer and fear still sneaks up when I am not looking. I still fight fear with laughter, love and the faith that gives me purpose to keep on keeping on. T.T. May 17,2013.

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Comments 15 comments

kerlynb profile image

kerlynb 5 years ago from Philippines, Southeast Asia, Earth ^_^

There are too many beautiful words in your hub that I just need to quote a few:

- As long as there are people who need to be encouraged by me I as staying around this world.

- People are to be loved, encouraged, prayed for and did I say loved. I didn't use to like people. They didn't do what I wanted them to do. I couldn't control them, but most of all they didn't read my mind.

- Being grateful changes your perspective. Thankfulness redirects your thinking.

Your hub is very beautiful, inspiring. I can never know what you're going through but believe it or not, by reading your hub, I already know that you always try to find joy even in the glummest situation :)


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 5 years ago from California Author

Kerlynb, your words are too kind. Thank you. I write from experience that tells me its better to live life than to be a spectator.


Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

I am glad that I found you...thankyou for sharing your life. Yes, God has a plan for you. Blessings.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 5 years ago from California Author

E.L. You have started my morning splendidly. Thank you.


dfbishopsr profile image

dfbishopsr 4 years ago from Pennsylvania, US

Tireless traveler,

I enjoyed your style, and revel in your faith, I thank God

He has shown you His goodness. I survived prostate cancer (14 yrs.) - thing is God prevented it from becoming serious - I was most blessed because He allowed a simple, but radical, surgery to remove it and that has been the end of it. Some, like yourself have to fight for long periods of time. I had a friend who died after over 20 years fighting it. He never lost faith.

I would not want to take anything from your experience and faith; yea from your approach to fear - God has given you away to cope. God bless you and Him.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 4 years ago from California Author

Thanks dfbishopsr for stopping.your kind words and your encouragement. Faith is my lifestyle. I chose faith over worry. I am quit sure my cancer returned because I worried the immunity out of my body. My biggest fear was that cancer would return. Well it happened and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Blessing and Merry Christmas.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

What a beautiful hub. I agree with you that helping others helps fear. And that being around others is essential when facing traumas in our life. You're a beautiful person and I wish you the best. Oh, and yes, laughter is a powerful medicine!


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 4 years ago from California Author

catgypsy- Thanks for stopping and for your kind words. Here's to a happy and healthy 2012


B. Leekley profile image

B. Leekley 4 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

I think you're probably right that having a positive life's purpose is a big help in coping with fear. I have not yet had to face fear like you're facing. I do have a number of relations and friends with cancer, so I do try to prepare myself for that eventual diagnosis -- or for heart failure, stroke, or something. Your hub is helpful

My observation has been that a person need not be a Christian or even religious to have a positive life's purpose and to be a kind, compassionate, loving person. I have known atheistic humanists, Marxists, Taoists, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, freethinkers, pagans, unaffiliated seekers of truth and meaning, and Christians who fit that description. Good Samaritans are found everywhere. And I have known both Christians and unchristians who are the opposite sorts of persons.

Do you know this poem? http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173698

And I don't see that accepting from the evidence that animal and plant species evolved through the process of natural selection need be any impediment to having a purpose in life or to loving God and neighbor.

Anyway, I admire the path of love and compassion that you have found through your faith.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 4 years ago from California Author

You are completely right in saying there are wonderful positive people who are not Christians. There are also wonderful negative Christians who truly make me scratch my head wondering what they are thinking. People fascinate me I would like everyone to believe as I do, that isn't my job though.

I believe I have seen it before and certainly want to be with Ben to leave a legacy of love.


Patty Kenyon profile image

Patty Kenyon 4 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

Absolutely Beautiful and Awesome Hub!!!! I Love your positive attitude and I truly wish you a speedy recovery!!! Wishing you and your family the very best!!!


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 4 years ago from California Author

Bless you for your kind words. I am planning on being around for a long time, having way too much fun writing on hub pages:)


B. Leekley profile image

B. Leekley 4 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

A relation sent me this link to a University of California video on what foods increase or decrease the risk of getting cancer:

http://www.uctv.tv/search-details.aspx?showID=1735...


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 4 years ago from sunny Florida

Good evening Tirelesstraveler...Just let me say that Angels and prayers are on the way. This whole cancer thing can bring fear ..and in your case having 15 years free was


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 4 years ago from sunny Florida

For some reason my whole comment is not showing. Just know that you are thought of and wished the best. I am walking this walk with my grandson and daughter and have done so for about 16 years. God is good and He is in the building. And yes you do have a purpose..It is clear to see that it is to share and cheer on others as you fight your fight. Your friend in Christ. ps

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