Dealing With Loss of Material Items
Someone asked, through the Hub Pages site - about dealing with loss. Mainly, the request named the 'loss of a car.'
Because a lot of people get stuck in the mind-set of 'why me?' and 'how dare this happen!' many people spend an unusually long amount of time 'suffering' in their loss of material items. This could be loss of a number of things, however, the loss of a vehicle is definitely and usually a big monetary blow on the negative side. Try to limit the amount of time you spend in the 'why me' and 'how dare' frame of mind so that you can start to concentrate on productive next steps to break you out of this uncomfortable situation. If you secure some good options for transportation quickly, then you can go back and be as angry as you want, express your disdain for having lost your vehicle, anyway - and maybe you'll find some sense of humour and acceptance for the entire situation at some point later on, too!
If humour isn't possible at first, that's okay. Maybe you can lean toward something productive and figure out whether there is a chance that the item lost can be recovered in any way or if another item (car) can substitute for the material loss in question. If not, then the obvious next step, if you have lost your car, is to arrange alternate transportation and get that worry out of the way. Some people will spend so much time being upset with their loss that they will actually forget to secure other methods of getting around. When their errands need to be done, when they need to get to work, they are simply out of luck from having spent so much time being angry that they failed to tend to other life details! Imagine losing your car PLUS losing your job the next week because you were so upset about the car that you forgot to find ways to get to work! I've seen this happen many times with friends who have damaged or lost their vehicles.
For a lot of people, a vehicle is a status symbol and becomes part of the way that they perceive of their identity. 'No car' can start to translate as a personal tag meaning 'less of a person,' and 'failure,' to attach to a person's identity. Males are particularly vulnerable to this kind of self-identification concerning motor vehicles because of the way that most of society outlines that men must be leaders, primary income-earners in the family unit, and they also must be financially prominent by owning a nice car/vehicle. In this way, men are VISIBLY successful and on-par with status when they own a car.
Many males suffer great indignation and embarrassment if they lose their visible status symbol and their esteem, as strange as this sounds, may really suffer, too. It is no joke at all to lose material items as costly as a vehicle. One is not necessarily a materialistic person for feeling loss in such a situation, however, many people do get by without a vehicle, and this can become the next focus for someone if they can't regain their vehicle or afford a new one right away.
Until one can afford a vehicle once more, it would be good to start checking out public transit systems just for the sake of utility - one still needs to go places, get to work, to the doctor, to school, on errands, shopping, etc., even though he or she might be truly down in the dumps and very inconvenienced by the loss of their car.
Whatever happens, don't worry about asking friends for rides. They will probably be glad to help, particularly if you have helped them out in the past when you did have your vehicle available for use! Many people will be too embarrassed to call up a friend and worry that they are asking for too much by asking for rides - after all, they've usually never had to 'bother' their friends before. Don't worry about this. I think that the loss of a vehicle is something that many people have considered before, even if it has never happened to them. A lot of people will quickly admit that if they were to lose the use of their vehicle, they would feel very stranded and not really know how they would deal with this or manage to get around to do all the things they normally do.
While you're figuring out how to acquire another vehicle, don't pay attention to what society says about 'status' or identity - and surely - don't be afraid to
ASK FOR HELP!
A lot of people will likely want to assist!
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