Dear Dear Lord, Why?

I write tonight with a heavy heart. I grew up in Navarre MN. I went to high school at Mound Westonka High. This week alone, my little town of mound has lost three mound friends. I wanted to write to help me heal my newly woven wounds. I feel so much better when I talk or write down my feelings, and that is why I so love hub pages.

I lost an old friend, Tony Shanley this week. He died of a massive heart attack. He is only 48 years old. He leaves his kids and wife and all of my city of Mound that loved him. Tony was always smiling and loved his sports. He used to date one of my best friends in high school. Her name is Kim. Kim later married a wonderful man name Joe. Joe and Kim had a girl Molly. In fact, my twin sister Linda and I sang for their wedding which was such an honor. Sometimes life is so confusing and scary.

This week I learned that Kim's daughter Molly had died. My heart felt like it was going to burst. Molly is only twenty three years old. The even tougher piece of this ungodly news is that Molly had just gotten a dwi and then took her own life. As I write this, I still do not know any details, but my heart is so heavy. I will be attending her funeral this Sunday. I feel scared because what does one say to a parent who has lost their child? I do not think any words are appropriate. The bond between mother and daughter and father and daughter is so delicate.

I feel sad all the way around, but what I cannot fathom is how tough it is and must be for parents to lose their children. They joined a group they would never want to join. The fact that Molly committed suicide makes the grief even worse.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people between ages 14 and 25 in the U.S. The number is most disturbing. We need to educate our youth that suicide is permanent and lasts forever. Every 100 minutes, a teen will have killed themselves. The statistics come from the recent survey of college and high school students by the CDC.

27% of high school students had thought seriously about killing themselves in this past year. 80% of high school students said they had tried to kill themselves. 10% of college students admitted serious thoughts of committing suicide and 7 % had a plan.

1 in 10 teens ages 14-25 suffer depression. Many parents excuse depressive symptoms from their teens by thinking it is the normal ups and downs of life. Female teens attempt to kill themselves twice as often as male teens.

WARNING SIGNS OF DEPRESSION THAT CAN LEAD TO SUICIDE

  • Inability to feel pleasure
  • Depression
  • Anger/Hostility
  • Hopeless
  • Withdrawl from friends and family
  • Insomnia
  • Excessive Chemical Abuse

I feel so numb and I really cannot stop thinking about how they will deal with such a tragic loss. Lets all help in the fight against suicide among the youth. Please pray with me for this family and all the friends that this sad death is affecting.

© Laura Rogers Arne

Have you ever known a youth in your life that has taken their life?

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Comments 22 comments

lisa.bom 6 years ago

Your hub really hit home. I have tried to kill myself 3 times. I am working on getting better. It just takes one person to say they will help.

I am so sorry for your loss.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

lisa.bom, thanks so much for reading this tough hub. I hope you know that life is too precious. I know so many with bipolar that have tried to kill themselves. They tell me once they are meds and stay on they are fine. I pray that you will never take the step and hurt yourself. Every state has crisis centers. Please keep working on getting better. Peace and love to you. call your therapist if you have one or the crisis line. Your life is so very precious. let me know your ok


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA

Hi healingtouch.I had to go to your blog to see if I was following you. I already am.Have been for a while.(Name larne threw me off.) It's a great blog. I'm the lil ole homebody whilst you are the caring, busy civic minded strong woman.I found this link on your blog.

So sorry you are feeling such loss for those you care so much about. When My daddy died 7 years ago, the most comforting words I heard were, " I care about you and what you are going through so much. I wish I knew words to say, but I don't. Please know that I am just a phone call away."

the worst thing I heard(too many times) was ,"I know what you are going through. " (my thoughts.."No you DON'T. YOU did not know my daddy and what we shared...)


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

bayoulady,

I am glad you figured out who I was. thanks for stopping by here and my blog. I hope I do the right thing when I see my buddy at the funeral. Thanks for the great feedback.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Oh my Dear! This hurts me so! It all jerks us. To lose a child! Oh my! God bless you Dear.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Micky Dee,

Thanks Micky Dee. I will carry your energy with me today.


Tamarajo profile image

Tamarajo 6 years ago from Southern Minnesota

wow statistics I didn't know...80% have tried?? or was that 80% of those who thought about it? I also heard a stat that 80 percent of successful suicides are male. I wonder why that is.

Sorry for your pain and loss. How tragic.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Tamarajo,

Thanks so much for reading my hub. Yes, 80% have tried and girls are twice as likely to be successful. It is so sad.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 6 years ago from Minnesota

Hi Healing Touch and loving sister. This has been a difficult week for us. Like we have in the past, we will get through this and hold eachother up. You are such a blessing to me. :)


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Twinner,

It has indeed been a rough week emotionally. Your a blessing to me too. Glad I have you sis to count on. Go twins. Get it? The second play off game tonight.


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Healing Touch- You have done what your purpose in life is: Help others. Thanks.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

dallas, thanks so much for your kind comment. I do so hope it helps.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

It may have been a rough week emotionally but you've come through it with your head held high which shows that you are a very strong You are a caring person and what shines through is your strength as well.

Take care Healing Touch.


DavePrice profile image

DavePrice 6 years ago from Sugar Grove, Ill

I have been a chaplain for many years, if what I have learned helps, then bless God. Try not to worry about what to say - people don't remember what you say, they remember that you were there for htem. Just your presence supporting the grieving is all the words a broken heart needs.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Eiddwen,

Your words are so comforting. I am greatful for my strength. Happy to follow you. Thanks for stopping by


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Dave,

I really appreciate your words. I guess your right, that it is being there that is helful. Thanks so much. So glad to follow you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

I'm late in finding this sad news - but my heart goes out to you, Tony's family and Molly's. What tragedies, especially when one so young loses hope and will to live. Well, Tony was much too young to go, too. The inevitability of death makes it no less difficult to swallow when it occurs. It must remind us who live on, though - of how precious life is and how brief our opportunity to try to make it better by having lived. It is our sacred legacy from those we love who have passed on.


Denizee 6 years ago

Not only did I loose my oldest son in a sudden traumatic freak accident I too lost a nephew by marriage who was only 17 years old by suicide. I remember seeing Scott at my sons funeral and had no idea the demons that lived inside of him. Our God is a forgiving God, and I truly believe that God takes those in to Heaven who have taken their lives. May God bless your friend, and may God give her the right resources she will need while taking the first baby steps in the loss of her daughter Molly. There is help, their are other Mothers who know this pain and I pray God directs her to these resources that were available to me after loosing my son.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Denizee,

I really appreciate you stopping by. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that my friend Kim has the strenght that you have. I know it comes from God.


Wayne Tilden profile image

Wayne Tilden 6 years ago from Roseville, California

Thank you for referring me to this hub. You're right. There ARE no answers; only more questions.

Great Hub!


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Wayne Tilden,

I am so glad you came over to my hub. You are correct. Only more questions.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa

Death is the major threat in our lives. We always freeze painfully when It enters our comfort zones. My heart goes out to all people who have to face It directly or indirectly. When It comes to near me, the result is always Reactive Depression, which I’ve learned to fear and hate. Not that I fear dying – I fear farewells and grieve. I hope you are okay by now. I love your heart.

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