Disability Dating & Sex

Disability Dating
Disability Dating

Persons with a Disability

Internet Dating sites are booming and Disability Dating sites are too! Unfortunately, the two wars in the Middle East have added approximately 21,000 injured and disabled to the population. Ironically fortunate for disabled dating websites and these sites too are extremely helpful to all the disabled people however. But disabled dating, the topic here is not all about horny cybering junkies, sex freaks, scammers and pervs that join theses places. Although, all sites have their share of kooks, fakers, groupies and sex maniacs, the vast majority of people that join these dating sites are genuinely looking for romance, friends, support, and chat conversation and a loneliness cure from a cyber community. Persons with a disability are also looking for the same things able body people are looking for and finding it.

Disability Sex

Although, unfortunately, there are some disabled Para and Quadriplegic members to the disabled dating sites who have total sexual dysfunction and no sensory feelings at all due to paralysis. Disability dating sites are here to help, providing support and care. Some members with spinal chord injuries, for instance, may have difficulty that can cause impotence and total erection loss in men. Situations such as this are helped sometimes through community discussions, through the forum and chat. Some disability sites have doctors and counselors online also. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Some of the severely disabled men, resort to injecting liquid Viagra® and or liquid Cialis® and other medicines which can sometimes be used to stimulate paralysis. This makes me very squeamish just thinking about it, however, if it helps them by injecting a hypodermic needle, I suppose, helping is the name of the game. Muscle relaxant pharmaceutical drugs, marijuana and or botulism-toxin, Botox®, has been used as a spasm relaxant in some disabled patients. This loosens up the spasticity, muscular hypertonicity with increased tendon reflexes, which is caused from paralysis. In other words, deformed stiffness and cramped-up limbs. Although these disabled may still be paralyzed, they now might be able to at least pleasure others and may also get some benefit too. Some paralyzed disabled, depending on their severity, still may have some sensual feeling, depending on pressure applied to the spinal chord and sexual positional placement.

Yes persons with a disability do have sex and all types of sex I might add, inventive, different and acommodating their disability. The vast menu available and the quirky, that the AB population uses, can also help with the disabled. Sadly too, as mentioned earlier, some Quads and Paraplegics and some other persons with a disability have no sex at all because they are completely paralyzed. The disabled person that is able to perform sexually needs to be creative in their eroticability and needs to overcompensate their abilities while keeping their disability in balance, as much as possible, to not injure themselves. Also a disabled person can have an AB sex partner, able body partner. Or another person with a disability sex partner, this requires planning, tact and specialized maneuverability in order to get two sexually functioning physically disabled people to enjoy each other’s bodies to the fullest of available pleasure. IT CAN BE DONE and well I might add. Then there are the “devotees”. A devotee is an AB person that only seeks out the disabled for friendship, sex and or has some care giving aspect to their fetish history. These devotees are controversial to say the least, as their peculiarly devotion is seemingly disturbing to some but also tolerated and accepted by others. These two AB groups are available as members of disability dating websites along with the disabled members to date other disabled members as well. And of course disability dating isn’t all-just about sex.

Disabled Dating – Looking for Mr./Ms. Goodbar

Singles bars and clubs before the Internet revolution, although still somewhat popular have morphed into the “E-Generation, E-Dating, E-Sex.” With all types of computer dating websites from places like “eHarmony” to “Lovebyrd” and “Disaboom” plus the virtual site, “Second Life”. Second Life offers a unique scenario for the disabled person. They have disabled virtual groups that can simulate mobility to paralyzed patient. The virtual disabled groups, with in SL help the disabled through their able body designed and animated avatar to experience somewhat of an AB experience. Many wholesome relationships have sprung up from disabled dating sites, which have lead to engagements and finally marriage. Some disabled people can have children, some of course cannot. But creating an environment where this can gel is upbeat and positive.

Websites like Lovebyrd and Disaboom are disabled and disable dating sites owned by the same company. For the most part these 2 sites and all disabled dating sites have goals. To provide a first class dating service and social networking website to individuals living with a condition that makes it difficult to meet and connect with other people. Whether you use the term disabled, differently abled, challenged, handicapped or you prefer not to classify your condition, disabled dating is right for you! If you are disabled or non-disabled and looking to meet fun, friendly disabled singles for friendship, dating, online chat, or even long-term relationships leading to marriage, disabled sites aims to provide a safe Internet dating for the disabled community and a friendship network for single disabled men and women around the world.

These sites are here to help the person with a disability find their ideal mate, dating prospects, new friends or a support system consisting of people who know and understand what it is like to live with a disability. If you're looking for love and romance, be sure to investigate all the general online dating tips and online dating safety guides. Like able body dating sites, disabled dating sites are similar in that everyone is searching for something, someone else for one reason or another. The medical and social information provided in these disabled sites aspect written information that’s available about all the different disabilities, physical medical information as well as mental, pharmaceutical and product information. And of course, dating advice is provided, general advice, classified and employment too. These sites help to bring some shut-in disabled, the fully functional disabled people and persons with a disability, a window to the outside world, with romance and love and community that we never had before.

Disaboom.com

The Disability Sex Chair

Virtual Ability

List of

Disability-Dating Toolkit in most sites:

Men's Dating Guide

Women's Dating Guide

Disabled Dating Etiquette

Discussion Forums

Disability Love Horoscopes by PaulieWalnuts (yours truly at lovebyrds.com)

Fun & Games

Discuss Sexuality

Depression/Anxiety

Relationship Talk

Recipe Swap

Book & Movie Lovers

Music Lovers

General Topics

Video, Photo sharing

Cartoons and Jokes

Disability Chat Room

Success Stories (Weddings & Engagements)

Pet Lovers

Politics

Sex

Faith

Other services provided:

Social Security

Medical

Employment

Legal

Health Insurance

Classified

Some Disability services for persons with:

Brain Injury

People with Spinal Chord difficulty

Singles with General Neuromuscular & Musculoskeletal

Amputee Singles

Cerebral Palsy, (CP) Singles

Singles with MS, Multiple Sclerosis

Singles with Depression

Spina Bifida Singles

Paraplegic Singles

Stroke Survivor Singles

Singles with Muscular Dystrophy

ALS

Back Disorders

Polio

Quadriplegic

Diabetes

Blindness

Deaf-Mute

Fibromyalgia

Arthritis

Etc.

Saturday July 26, 2008

National Forum on Disability Issues Webcasted Live on Disaboom.com July 26. The Americans with Disabilities Act anniversary-ADA

The event—organized by the American Association for People with Disabilities (AAPD) and co-sponsored by over 60 national, state, and local disability groups—presidential candidate forum hosted by Jim Lehrer of PBS. Barack Obama and John McCain will be there talking about disability. Obama will be there via teleconferencing because of his trip. See LINK for more information.

CNN

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Comments 29 comments

talisa2699 profile image

talisa2699 7 years ago from Boston, MA

Nice hub.


PaulieWalnuts profile image

PaulieWalnuts 7 years ago from Chicago Author

Thanks! I read your "RAMP" Hub and it's GREAT!


Thomas 7 years ago

Hi Paulie, I am the owner of one of the disabled dating sites mentioned on this page. I have just read your amazing story, and I am glad you got engaged to this fantastic lady! Now thanks to your testimony, I truly believe that my disbled dating site helps disabled people find love/friendship and that makes me happy!

Thanks a lot!

Thomas


Hydraujoint 7 years ago

Well written, touching on a sensitive and mostly unspoken subject.

Although I'm not too convinced on whole devotee thing and I don't believe just because you are disabled you should only date only disabled people.

I am an amputee that has always dated AB people so I guess we do require some sort of devotion.

It still makes my stomach turn to think that people actually get excited by seeing an amputation.

My amputation to me it is something I have to tolerate, not something that arouses me.

Who knows what it is that makes one person seem more attractive than another?


miracles02 profile image

miracles02 7 years ago from Canton, IL

Great hub! My husband was left a paraplegic by West Nile Virus in 2002. Happily it has not affected our desire or ability, just changed it. As my father used to say,"Where there's a will, there's a way!"


PaulieWalnuts profile image

PaulieWalnuts 7 years ago from Chicago Author

Thanks all for your comments!


jacklara3 7 years ago

Nice post. I agree 100%. here's some more info on <a href="http://rxviagracheap.info/">Lowest Price for Viagra Online</a>


Patsy 6 years ago

Congrats, I am very happy for you. I also run a dating service for disabled singles. I started it as a result of volunteering at my local hospital where I met a quadraplegic. I hope more people mention my site as it is a labour of love for me. Thank you Paulie


PaulieWalnuts profile image

PaulieWalnuts 6 years ago from Chicago Author

Thanks Patsy, Jacklara3, Hydraujoint, Miracle02, Thomas and Tallsa2699! Your comments and suggested are VERY welcome, I appreciate your input.

-P


hiyadisabled 6 years ago

hahaha... Here is some more stuff about adult dating


david miller 5 years ago

Hi I run a friendly UK disabled dating site and I would like to congratulate you on a great site!


Adult Dating 5 years ago

Dear writer, really it is very interesting blog and use full information, I found a dating blog on www.adultfriendout.com it is all so a touchable information for relationship.


zoltan3 5 years ago

As a 36yr old man paralysed from the waist down i find the idea of disabled people only dating disabled people a rather cowardly denial of their own sexual needs. Everybody is subservient to physical attraction and i can say emphatically i would not date somebody who was not physically attracted to - in other words, i would not date somebody else with a physical disability. i never and i never will. I have the deepest respect for people with disabilities, as somebody who has a disability myself but this idea of disabled people dating disabled people is purely borne out of the sexual negative mindset and lack of self confidence that mainstream society has drilled into people with disabilities.


PaulieWalnuts profile image

PaulieWalnuts 5 years ago from Chicago Author

Thanks for your comments, I too am disabled. I met my disabled fiancée at "Disabled Dating" website. Where ever your attractions lead should ultimately be your own choice. Personally I have found it almost futile to chase Able Body dates because of the extreme rejection percentage. But to each his/her own, good luck to you.


Jon VanVeen 4 years ago

hey I'm Jon and i had a brain injury and I find it lonely


PaulieWalnuts profile image

PaulieWalnuts 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Join a Disable Dating/Friends site like "D4D" http://www.dating4disabled.com/


PaulieWalnuts profile image

PaulieWalnuts 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Join a Disable Dating/Friends site like "D4D" http://www.dating4disabled.com/


MarkWalberg 4 years ago

Hi!

Do you have any suggestions for a male in his thirties who has CP and is non-verbal, who is interested in dating and possibly more?


PaulieWalnuts profile image

PaulieWalnuts 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Hi Mark

The only thing I can suggest is try a disability dating website or Facebook disabled "Friends" groups!


Venky 4 years ago

Do you have any suggestions for girl for me ?? , who is interested in dating and possibly for me ??


Thequad18 profile image

Thequad18 3 years ago from Royalton

This is an incredibly long story so here's the outline of it. I'm an 18 year old guy and I was attacked by a lion and tiger 8 years ago and was left paralyzed from my neck down. I've been trying to find a girlfriend but haven't had any luck. They all look at me like just a disabled freak and don't see just how big of a heart I have and would do anything for them. Since I'm unable to move, I can't relieve my sexual urges and have almost constant "blue balls". I've tried using toys, medications, injections and even had blood tests done. None have worked at all. I've looked into escort services and I'm not paying $175 just for a hand job. I can't even find anyone on Craigslist who's willing to get me off. I'm just to the point of giving up. All I want is for is somebody who cares enough about me to just help relieve me. I guess that's just too much to ask for. I feel completely worthless to every female out there. I honestly give them my all when around them. I do this all the time and I'm still never good enough. Why can't I get a chance? I cry myself to sleep almost every night asking myself that same question. I have nobody to cuddle, love and watch movies with. I rarely ever get physically touched or hugged. I'm so lonely and feel unwanted and unloved. I always get the short end of the stick because people know little to nothing about people with disabilities.. Please help me, I don't know where else to turn.


belantos 3 years ago

Peter Blundy was an army officer when he was invited to a barbecue by a friend. The railing of the balcony that looked strong and he leaned against gave way and he ended up as a quadriplegic. He tells his life story on his website and touches on the issue of sex also:

http://www.peterblundy.com/2012/01/reasons-why-you...


Pharmf5 2 years ago

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Pharmg33 2 years ago

Very nice site!


Pharme567 2 years ago

Very nice site! cheap goods


mandy13w 2 years ago

Great post...thanks for sharing..i like dating

http://disabledmingling.co.uk/


Sarah Kessler profile image

Sarah Kessler 17 months ago from Seattle

Thanks for this great first-hand information! I am writing about dating and disabilities for an assignment but don't actually have much experience or knowledge on it, and I stumbled upon this while doing research. I am wondering: why go on a disabled-specific dating website, rather than any other one, with the information that you are disabled and have these limitations/interests/desires/needs?


Sarah Kessler profile image

Sarah Kessler 17 months ago from Seattle

I should mention--I am a disabled individual due to severe chronic illness, but dating-wise it doesn't change my interests, besides the fact that I like people who can relate to what I've been through.


Tuppy Owens 14 months ago

Hello, I run Outsiders - a resource for physically and socially disabled people to make friends, enjoy peer support, have fun and find partners. We have been going for 36 years and I am based in the Highlands of Scotland. I think we are quite important especially since Disaboom closed down. I also answer the sex and disability helpline worldwide.

I was a bit horrified by the descriptions of how some disabled people try to enjoy sex as what they need to change is their attitude to sex, not their techniques. Intercourse and erections are not essential for a good time - the human body is covered in erogenous zones to give us so much pleasure and the Vagus nerve which doesn't go through the spine provides more. Even orgasms are not essential for sexual bliss.

I am coming to speak at your American Association of Sex Educators Councelors and Therapist conference next month and hope to bring Outsiders, our website TLC for disabled people to find responsible sexual services so they can learn and gain confidence and SHADA for health professionals to find support in their work with disabled clients and their sex lives.

Hope to see you soon in the Outsiders online Clubhouse.

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