Do you have enough T?

Check your T levels. Everyone's doing it.
Check your T levels. Everyone's doing it. | Source

Everyone needs a little T

Dr. Craig Venter, American biologist and entrepreneur, sequenced the human genome. Scientists worldwide can now study the inner-workings of our DNA at an excruciatingly high level of detail. Venter's hard work opened the floodgates for all of us to enjoy more things to worry about. One thing that we can no longer ignore is our individual and collective T level. We may have enough of it, but probably not.

If you don't have sufficient, T, we're here to help. Simply peruse our cornucopia of T resources and jump in with your credit card. It's all available online. If you are the proud owner of proper levels of T, be sure to consider the possible plight of friends and relatives who may not be as fortunate.

Wear T-Shirts

You can wear a T-shirt to a wedding or a workout. You can mow the lawn or watch American Idol or even read Dr. Venter's book while swathed in your favorite undergarment. We love to increase our T levels by adding to our wardrobes. It's a painless way to make life easier and become the person you used to be, when you wore a lot of T-shirts.

Look online for literally endless supplies of these wearables. Shop for various colors and sizes via our favorite auction site, eBay. They make great gifts for anyone whom you suspect might be lacking a little T in their life.

Throw a T-Party

High society folks often lack T just like the remainder of us. They often remedy this problem by holding T parties. One difference between the 1%-ers and the flyover people is how the T is served. You won't see red Solo cups and plastic spoons in Bel Air. No one dabs their lips with paper napkins in Manhattan. This strata of society invests in only the finest cups, saucers, and utensils. They stir with silver, not silver plate. They abhor disposable, they eschew anything with a logo on it.

Look for high quality china accoutrement when planning your next T party. If it goes in the dishwasher, it's not suitable. Only hand-washable items are appropriate when you are serving the finest T to the finest people.

This man knew where his T-Square was.
This man knew where his T-Square was.

Wield a T-Square

Proper application of properly selected T-squares ensures that our buildings don't fall down. No one among us wants to inhabit a building that is out of plumb. Architects and civil engineers require proper T to do their jobs every day. We salute those brave men and women who depend on T to keep us all safe.

Look around your house: every corner was designed with T. Your living room is at right-angles as a result of highly skilled draftsmen and draftswomen wielding T-squares with aplomb.

Silently give thanks to every pencil-pushing drawing-board jockey who made your life possible. They toil tirelessly, with their T in perfect balance, so you can sit on the sofa and watch TV without the ceiling falling into your bowl of Pringles.

Deploy a Golf T

Who among us could play golf without proper T? Indeed, a small wooden contrivance supporting our gold ball becomes crucial. We have no hope of breaking 100 unless our T is properly balanced.

They come in many shapes and sizes, but they all serve the vital purpose of making our golf game just a little more possible. Even professional golfers use tees. A pack of tees makes a perfect gift for any golfer in your life: sometimes whey run out at inopportune moments. Don't let it happen.

If you get the pun, you probably have enough T for the foreseeable future.
If you get the pun, you probably have enough T for the foreseeable future. | Source

Crush a T-Bone

A real man eats steak off the bone. Cows exist to provide us with tasty protein-rich flesh to be grilled on the deck while someone else makes the salad. You can order T-bone supplies and equipment via the convenient Internet: don't wait until you're already hungry.

Learn the secrets of steak masters by purchasing videos, books, tutorials, pamphlets, e-books, tip sheets, note cards, recipes, and really hot barbeque sauce. You never know when Gordon Ramsay will appear on your front porch and cuss you out because he wanted it medium well. It can't hurt to be prepared. Keep the door locked, just in case.

Read Dr. Venter's Book

Sure, we all know that none of us has enough T, but do you know why? Neither do I. After reading Dr. Venter's epic tome, I still have no clue how the genome accomplishes anything.You can, too.

It's a great read. Dr. Venter's life story offers encouragement and inspiration. You can have my copy if that helps. It's a hardback version. I probably won't read it again.

My life needs more T

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Useful T Resources

Golf Rules Illustrated
United States Golf Association
Dream Shot: A Novel
Robert C.S. Downs
Golf Resort Tycoon
video game
A Life Decoded: My Genome: My Life
J. Craig Venter

More by this Author


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 3 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

Nice bit of humor to start the day. It reminds me of a co-worker who was upset because he couldn't be admited to the golf course because he was wearing a T shirt. apparently if he had been wearing a t shirt with a slogan or something on it or maybe a pocket t shirt it would be OK but not a plain white T shirt.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

dahoglund, thanks for the kind words. You may be the only person to read this hub: I just received email from HubLords informing me that my work is not up to their quality standards. Of course, they didn't explain why that is the case. It wold make too much sense to actually tell me what I need to fix, unless they actually don't know either.

I think this will be my last contribution to the HubCommunity. It's their sandbox and they make the rules, but I don't have to join the game.

Gawth profile image

Gawth 3 years ago from Millboro, Virginia

Really funny nicomp.

I too am upset by notes from the Hublords. I will view every ad on your page in protest. I don't see much difference between the new management and the IRS. They remind me of an editor I once worked for. He never could come up with feature stories but when you did, he found a thousand ways to change it. I enjoyed the Hub immensely.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Gawth, please don't click on my ads -- Google Adsense may ban me. Your kind words are sufficient. Let me know if you begin publishing elsewhere.

Gawth profile image

Gawth 3 years ago from Millboro, Virginia

just kidding. good luck. I'll let the new Hubmeister get his wheels on straight.

best to you.

Glenda Jacks 3 years ago

I loved the humor of you fantastic hub. My friend and one of your followers has several of her hubs said to be sub-standard and she is thinking of going else where, to publish her work.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Glenda Jacks, we can all be substandard together.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Funny... this hub gets visits everyday even though the HubLords have labeled it substandard.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

... revised the capsule titles, added a high quality photo, added more content. That should rocket me into non-substandard-ness.

Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago

Funny hub, enjoyed it very much. Good luck with the new standard-ness

nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Shyron: Thanks! This is my benchmark.

Not nicomp 3 years ago

Funny, but trite and formulaic.

nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

OK, as of today this hub has been declared quality-filled and engaging.

They like me, they really like me.

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