Don't Put Me in a Nursing Home

Dementia Care

Dementia is a, "mental disorder known as dementia affects the mind and memory of a patient. If your parents look like they may be suffering from dementia it can be very difficult for you to accept. Sometimes, we would dismiss the symptoms as, momma having one of her moments because we do not understand dementia care. Be patient give her time to think, she's not what she used to be. You must take these instances seriously as legitimate signs of a potential serious medical issue.

Dementia is the loss of mental functions. My mother lost her ability to reason, became combative, girl would hurt you. A person loses their thinking, memory, and reasoning. These mental functions are severely interfere with daily functions. Symptoms can also include changes in personality, mood, and behavior.

I began to look in to this illness. I found out that doing drugs can cause dementia. Even alcohol and prescription medications. Let us not forget the hormone or vitamin imbalance thing that counts as well. When treated these kinds of dementia can be cured. sometimes, a person may look like they have dementia. It could turn out they are suffering from severe depression only it looks like dementia. I did not know that! Have I had that? This is called pseudo-dementia (false dementia). This type of dementia can be treated. You can go here and get more information about; if your spouse has dementia will you have it too, sometimes, yes. Find out what to look for.

Some Signs of Dementia to look for:

What Causes Dementia?

There are several things which could cause dementia

1. A loss of nerve cells in the brain (like my parent).

2. A stroke or any illness that affects blood vessels may cause some dementia.


3. Excessive drug or alcohol use, and toxic reactions.

.
4. Are you and your spouse or parents getting enough nutritional benefits, like vitamin B12,

hope this is helpful, make it a good day!

You know, I am uncomfortable with this hub. You could tell, huh. I think it is because I am trying to write about an emotional illness. It is emotional for me. I have lost my father and that was years ago. The connection is unbelievable because I still, still, miss him terribly.

So here I am in search of something to talk about. I thought this would be good therapy. It is uncomfortable. Well, I am going to get on with it. I just want to let that go. Thank you. Now, next. What are we going to do if one of us dementia? How can we protect ourselves or can we?

Wow! How do people keep up with all their blogs? I can't get with the ten I have. This site needs revising. However, I am trying to get a business off the ground have discovered where my paperwork is so far.

I am going to see my mom for her birthday next week. She and I will be talking on this blog then. It will be kinda hard with her dementia, but we are going to talk to the hubbers.

I will be back to give you fresh material to this blog! Thanks for understanding...."smile"

Well, my mom had her 82 birthday. We all went to see her, sang happy birthday. Sat with her awhile. My mom mental state is very calm now. Her dementia is still prevalent, but she knows all of her children. That is so special to me. She is in a feeble stage now, she can not stand on her own anymore.

The nursing home had lost my mom of family day. When we arrived it took them fifteen minutes to find which room they had put my mother in so she could eat. I did not like that at all. I was very patient though.

My mom stills tells us she is waiting on her last spouse to come home. That is ok we just go along no worries. We make here a comfortable a possible. We aide in my mothers quality of life even if we can not care for her. I like to think so anyway. I do not look at her as a mental patient but rather as my mother who is aging.

One thing though, my mom is just as curvaceous as she was at 50. I love her genes!

I am next to the youngest, and it is hard for me to see my mother this way. I am hanging in there amazingly so for my mom. Go see your parents, tell them you love them. Go see your older siblings tell them you love them.

On January 9, 2011 my mother passed. My mother, myself. In her honor I began a business.

February 23, 2014

I think my ministry is taking care of seniors. Presently, I am a caseworker for seniors. I do not like that much because all I do is push paper. I like the part of actually caring for someone. My husband and I are looking into finding people with dementia or alzhiemers to care for. This is serious people need help. It is expensive to get loved one cared for.

My sibllings and I kept my mon home for as long as we could. I think with some professional help we could have kept her longer.

I went and became a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA). I am going to take care of seniors differently now. There are several ways you can help seniors, they need transportation, someone to visit and listen or even just a phone call. Don't forget seniors they did not forget you. You will be a senior one day!

What can you do to prepare?

Will you fill like this is an unfair burden on you and your family?
Will you fill like this is an unfair burden on you and your family?

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Comments 41 comments

SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Great! Daniel Thompson...keep in mind caring for a loved one is more than a notion. This type of care is very stressful and emotional for loved ones...please look into respite so you can get a break every now and then to rejuvinate yourself.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Thank you jamterrell..


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Thank you K.Burns Darling...


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 4 years ago from Chicago Author

You could move to assisted living. There are alternatives. Consult an Elder law attorney.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Thank you for your comment Aisla


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Devid, I do not know if this is legal. Thank you for your comment.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Thank you RalphGreene for your comment.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Thank you for your comment. My mother has since passed away. She did go to a nursing home however, she never knew she was in a nursing home.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 4 years ago from Chicago Author

There are all kinds of alternatives to a nursing home now. Baby boomers are seeing to that. They refuse to grow old in nursing homes. So businesses are springing up everyday to assist seniors in their homes so they do not have to go to nursing homes...anyone of one? Here we have Senior Services. We assess the Senior in their homes, then we give them a homemaker. A homemaker is someone who comes to the Seniors home about twice a week keeps the home clean, does laundry, and runs a couple of errands for the Senior as well. Anyone have something like that in their area?


jamterrell profile image

jamterrell 5 years ago

SistasExpress? I like you hub.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 5 years ago from Chicago Author

Thanks for the comment Home Inspector...


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 5 years ago from Chicago Author

Thank you RalphGreene for you comment...!


RalphGreene profile image

RalphGreene 5 years ago

I love it, Great information.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 5 years ago from Chicago Author

Jo..please contact an attorney for assistance on what you should do...a living will may assit you in what you need. Thank you for your interest in this.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California


Jo 5 years ago

Our 3 chldren and their spouses have decided that they want to take everything that we have, so I am most certain that they are trying to get the doctor to put us in a "extended care" home. I do not need it, but my husband does. What can I do to prevent this?


Aisla profile image

Aisla 5 years ago from Norway

I think that it is fantastc of you to share this information. Reaaly heartwarming.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 6 years ago from Chicago Author

maeve Thank you for your comment...I understand what you are going through...yes...I have something you can do..I will put in in one of my articles...keep watching..


maeve 6 years ago

I'm beyond scared knowing that I have no control over my destiny if I get dementia like my father. I don't want my husband to put me in a nursing home and I don't think he would have much of a problem doing that because he thinks of himself, (his own words), as a "realist" and the only alternative would be a nursing home! He is not an emotional or demonstrative person so he would just do "whatever is necessary". Very cold person. I do not want to put this burden on my daughter either. I want this to be my decision and I can tell you I WOULD NEVER GO INTO A NURSING HOME. We made that mistake with my poor father by putting him into a NYS Veterans Facility - Worst decision ever made. If you have any advice as to how I would legally go about this so that I can be spared from my husband or ANYONE! else making this decision for me because THEY think I should go into one, please let me know. I feel desperate because I wake up every morning feeling the guilt of watching my father deteriorate both emotionally and physically into a place where I stopped going to see him because I just couldn't take it anymore. I have even lost a relationship with a sister because she would never go see him, not once. She didn't even attend his wake. Just saved face and showed up for the Mass - ha ha how is that for spirituality. Families become ruined forever over these decisions and I am very nervous about my future. I would really appreciate anything you could tell me. TY


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lynn 6 years ago

My mum is 83 and has been in residential care almost three years.Although she has dementia she can have a converation with me.She always used to say to me dont ever put me in a home.Unfortunatly I had to make that decision and every time I visit her it braks my heart. She is only five minutes away and I see her nearly every day,but I cry every time I think of her and she is constantly on my mind. The care home is a lovely place with lots of entertainment and very homely so I know she is well looked after.The thing is se constantly asks me to take her home.I cannot take her out now as she cannot walk and is very frail.

I do think families should see their elderly folk as much as possible, it helps keep up their moral.


tedl profile image

tedl 6 years ago

I like your approach. How can we save the life of the caregiver who is also alone and being cared by the disease?


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 6 years ago from Chicago Author

Thanks Cherie


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

Thank you for your comment Duchess.


Duchess OBlunt 7 years ago

SistasExpress, you are not alone in your situation, or in the way you feel about it all. With so much to deal with, this has got to be a very tough time. How to deal with aging parents is such a hard thing to come to terms with.

It sounds like you have made the right decision in this case. Sometimes the right decision can be so hard to make.

Your mom is in good hands. Be at peace about that.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

Thanks for your comment Kosmo.


Kosmo profile image

Kosmo 7 years ago from California

It's certainly a weighty issue dealing with one's dementing parents. I hope I never have to put either one of mine in a nursing home! Later.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

Thank you for your support.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California

Hi Sistas, My heart goes out to you. Keep your head up. Try to remember the good times that you had with your mother. I do that with my brother and sister that has passed on, and it does give me some comfort. Keep in touch!


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

thanks for your support! I just got back from seeing my mother. I think she will be gone soon.


Stephen Brno 7 years ago

Im so sorry to hear this. My mom actually died this year because of dementia. It is partially her fault though because she could have lived longer. It was all due to her smoking which messed up her thyroid which messed up her brain. We all need to take care of ourselves in order to avoid ending up like the people in nursing homes.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

Alta56546 Thank you for your support!!


Alta5656 profile image

Alta5656 7 years ago from Davao City, Philippines

Hi. I'm Alta from the Philippines. My mama, too, has dementia. I'm writing about our time with her with a touch of humor. She may be a mother but now she is treated tenderly just like a toddler. She is staying with me and my sister. You are very much concern with your mother, and that's a lot. God bless.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

THANK YOU SSOOOO MUCH FOR THAT!! Daniel I really appreciate your comment. I will go to that hub or site and read about that supplement you suggested. Thanks again, I am so glad I join hubpages!


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

Suiiki, I worked in a nursing home as well, years ago as a late teenager. I found it to be a pleasant experience. However, Nursing homes in general have a bad reputation when it comes to carrying for others loved ones.

Yes, I could get a ride with someone else to go see my mom. But, my siblings here have special needs, and that is why I am here. The other siblings live close to my mom. I have only been back here a short time. I do not know anyone unselfish enough to give me a four hour ride to see my mom. You know what I mean? Thanks loads for your comment! Let us keep talking..please


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

Thanks for your comments. I have made arrangements to go see my mom for her birthday soon. However, it is hard when you are out of work.

Sometimes I just don't know what to do. On the one hand I want to see my mom, but on the other I loved her when she was coherent. I bite this bullet, and do what is right.

Emotionally, for persons who have parents in nursing homes know the emotional strength it takes to get through the day. My older siblings are GREAT at this. However, I get weepy and then hard on myself for being weak, or weaker than my older siblings.


Suiiki profile image

Suiiki 7 years ago from City of the Newly Wed and Nearly Dead

Hi,

I worked in a nursing home as a nurse's aide for a while. The nursing home I worked in was a friendly place for the most part. While it is true that it is better to stay at home as long as possible, there have been great improvements made in recent years as to the quality of care in most nursing homes. Nurse's Aides and Nurses are given training to take care of the emotional and spiritual needs of residents as well as the physical needs. Most nursing homes have pets, the one I worked in had a dog, a cat, a fish tank, and a bird cage in each wing. We did our best to spend personal time with each resident to talk and make sure they were not lonely. While we cannot spend every moment with the residents, we do what we can.

If you feel guilty about not being able to see your mother, maybe you should get a ride from someone else to go see her? Or maybe there is a nursing home closer to your home that she can be placed in? It is important for the elderly person and for the family that the chosen home be in a location that is easy for all loved ones to visit. But if you can't do anything to make the situation better, then don't beat yourself up over it. Eventually we all get old and need help.

Good luck.


sharongail 7 years ago

Hi,

I sympothise with you. Guilt will wear you down. I got to the point about 4 months ago, when I could not bear to go and help my dad take care of my mom anymore. I not only had her hitting me and calling me stupid, but my dad would be critical over little thing I did to help out. Sure, I felt guilty for a while, who wouldn't when it come to taking care of your parents. thank God I have siblings, now they go over and help out and I don't feel as guilty now about mentally not being able to. I don't know if this helped you in any way but my heart goes out to anyone who has to go through slowly losing a loved one due to this horrific disease.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

Have no car, and can not go see my mother like I want to. I have a hard time calling her as well.


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

I can not go see my mother in the nursing home. It hurts me to see her that way, and I can not afford to do any better for her. I can not afford to take care of her at home, and she is combative I can not deal with that!


SistasExpress profile image

SistasExpress 7 years ago from Chicago Author

I am worried. I do not know what I will do if I have a sudden illness and cannot take care of myself. I'm kinda paniced about it!

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