Easy Ways To Injure Yourself

Injure Yourself The Easy Way

 Injuring yourself isn't a smart thing to do quite obviously, but if you plan on trying to get out of doing something, then first the best course of action is to not turn up in the first place, but if it's something complicated and that will require you to do something over the course of a couple of weeks to a month, then you might want to injure yourself ( which is a daft thing to do quite frankly!!) But as it is a top searched question, I thought I would answer it as best as I can for you.

  • A good sure fire way of injuring yourself, is to walk down the stairs backwards, but be warned about this one, you could break your neck or end up fatally dead after you hit the bottom of the stairs, so just be careful about it, I think the secret to these types of injuries are to make them look real, but not very damaging, hahahaha, if you can!
  • Ride your broken bike, everything is loose, the nuts and bolts, so you are good to go, but please wear your cycle helmet as you may get hurt, also a grazed knee is no good, you want a broken leg or something that makes sure you have to rest it for a few weeks, maybe make the pedals loose too, be warned though never ride on the roads as you might get crushed by a 7 ton juggernaut which just could relieve you of any free time.
  • Let a bus run over your foot, just wait until the bus is near and step out with a camp walk and go "oh my gosh", with a bit of luck you might break or fracture a few toes and have to have a few weeks off work or whatever it is you are trying to avoid.
  • Throw a banana skin on the floor and pretend you didn't see it, this may look funny to others, but it could have serious complications for you, if you break your back or your right bum cheek and let me tell you, a broken bum cheek is just the worst thing ever as you cannot sit down properly.....
  • If you are fishing on a boat and you suddenly see a shark swimming, jump in the water and make friends with the shark, you might be able to hatch a deal were the shark bites our arm off, so you can claim disability, it could work, or the shark could eat you whole and you'll have to play cards and all sorts of board games in the sharks gut just like in Moby Dick or did I dream that?!
  • Jump off a bridge and hope for the best, the worse thing that could happen is if you die instantly, try to bounce if you can, I've found that holding my man boobs to the floor can help to bounce much more effectively.

Injuring yourself is just a bit nuts, but life is for living, do what you want, but be careful, death is watching.

Ways To Injure Yourself

Best ways to injure yourself.    Image source - seanscottmaguire.com
Best ways to injure yourself. Image source - seanscottmaguire.com

Easy Ways To Injure Yourself 1 comment

Mim 4 years ago

Lmao

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