Why does this always happen to me? Not again! It never fails! I’m such a screw up. If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. Nothing ever goes right for me. I’m so stupid. Why doesn’t (s)he want me? What am I doing wrong? Am I really that ugly that others don’t find me attractive? Why do I always seem to meet the same (wo)men.
Like a dog returns to its vomit so too do we return to the same situations we’ve found ourselves in our entire lives. We are all just creatures of habit, or so we’re told. I’d suggest an alternate position; we’re creatures of addiction. The word addiction has become connotatively synonymous with alcohol and drug use. Even tobacco is considered an addiction. We think of addiction as negative and typically relate it to some outside stimulation or cause for the effect. Addiction is nothing more than a chemical reaction in the brain and is not limited to external stimuli. Simply put, the definition of addiction is something you cannot stop. But, is it possible to be addicted to emotional states as well?
We must begin by understanding how the brain works neurologically. The brain cells are made up of tiny nerve cells called neurons. These neurons have branches that reach out to the other neurons to create a neuronet. Each place the branches are connected is integrated into and associated with a thought or a memory. The branches of the neuron reach out and touch the branches of other neurons firing electrical currents to each other. All our thoughts, ideas, emotions and memories are interconnected in this neuronet by the firing of electrical charges. Physiologically, cells that fire together wire together and if we practice something over and over again, the nerve cells create a long term relationship. If we get angry or frustrated on a daily basis we create a long term relationship in the neuronet called an identity. Likewise, the nerve cells that no longer fire together break the connection with each other. Every time we continually interrupt a thought process the long term relationship gets lost. Let’s say a man is abusive or commits adultery on his women. Her brain will automatically associate love with abuse and/or infidelity. If she walks down the street and sees a couple kissing, a firing occurs in the area associated with love, and with the neurons connecting love to infidelity, she will assume the man in the couple is merely waiting to see his other lover. She will see him for the Bastard, she thinks he is.
Emotions are not only hate, love and fear etc. but can also be the way a particular drug makes us feel. Deep in the brain is the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus produces chemicals called peptides made up of small chain amino acid sequences that reflect every emotion we experience. The moment we experience any particular emotion, the hypothalamus releases these peptides into the blood stream which find their way to the appropriate receptors located in our body’s cells. One cell can have thousands of receptors and each receptor is form fitted for a particular chemical. When the peptide locks itself into a receptor it can actually alter the nucleus of the cell and bring about physical manifestations of an emotion. If the peptide for anger were released and received it can alter the cell to the point of creating violent behavior and not just being merely upset.
Again, when we think of the word addiction we think of alcoholism, smokers and drug use. When addiction occurs we produce a tolerance to whatever peptides we’re sending out to our cells. The cell gets overloaded and cannot handle being bombarded with so many peptides at once that it dies off, but before its death and during it’s replication it creates new cells with more receptors to accept those peptides it’s been receiving on a regular basis. With more receptors, more peptides can be accommodated and thus a tolerance is built up taking more peptides to overload it. The cells also now require and even desire more of that peptide because it has the receptors to receive it. This is why prescription pain killers, for example, end up being increased over long term use. Our bodies have created new cells with more receptors to accept the narcotic, which the brain then translates into peptides, thus it requires more narcotic to get the same effect as before the body started receiving the narcotics.
Like drug use and alcohol, our bodies treat emotions the same way. As an example, if we constantly create the “victim” peptide, we overload our body’s cells with the emotion of feeling victimized to the point we don’t know how to feel anything else. It seems everything and everybody is always against us and a simple thing like spilling milk becomes a huge issue because “It’s happening to me again. Why is it always me?” We become addicted to our emotions and when this happens, our neuronet begins to fire together creating different long term relationships. We then relate to the emotion of victimization because the relationships we’ve created within our neuronet relate thoughts, ideas, emotions and memories together. It would seem this is an endless cycle which ends in a downward spiral and for many it has. However, there exists a process which can be practiced to reverse this horrible mindset.
Above I wrote about the breaking of long term relationships within the neuronet. When we allow ourselves to think negatively, we begin the process of creating those long term relationships of negativity. This also breaks the long term relationships, or identities, of anything we may think positively about ourselves or anything else. However, when a negative thought enters the mind, we have the power to terminate that thought, breaking the long term relationship and replace it with something positive. Thus we’ll begin re-wiring our brains, which translates into the releasing of peptides that have a euphoric or joyful feeling about them rather than a feeling of sadness, hate, despair or disgust. We can begin to create an addiction to positive things, learning to love ourselves and in turn love others. In the end, when you’ve learned to love yourself, you can accept yourself which then allows you to freely express yourself as who you are because finally you’ve found out who that is. It’s someone beautiful.
No longer can we ask why we always seem to find the same type of guy or girl because the answer is simple. We find those people because they’re who we want to find. If we’re always finding ourselves in abusive relationships the fault cannot be laid anywhere but in the neuronet you’ve created. Reprogram your mind and be beautiful then find someone else who is beautiful.
Note: all information contained here within can be found on the video "What the Bleep do we know"