Emotional Pain and Suicide

Feeling Other's Pain

Have you ever felt someones emotional pain so much that it made you burst into uncontrollable tears?

This is what happen to me about 3 weeks ago. My husband and I live in an apartment. There was some plumbing done and some of the drywall needed to be replaced. Our caretaker told us that someone would be coming out to fix it soon and would be given keys to enter our suite.

The afternoon the man came I was already home. He seemed like a nice man. He was in his mid-fifties. I sensed something from him, but at first wasn't sure what it was. We chatted about the apartment, agency and the repairs. He said he was sorry that he didn't come sooner to finish the work. He also mentioned that it because he had some family problems. At that time I sensed that he didn't really want to talk about it. He just worked and chatted about everyday things.

An hour went by and then my husband arrived home. They talked about the repairs and stuff of that nature too. The man then said he had to get some supplies from his truck and would be back shortly. When he left I said "something really bad happen and I think it has to do with children" to my husband. He also sensed that something bad happen. I suddenly felt a rush of emotional pain and burst out into tears. It was like I felt this man's pain for a few minutes. I wiped my tears just as he was coming back in the door.

A Suicide Note

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600 × 450 Search by image suicide note | Source

His Daughter Committed Suicide

He then asked us if we wanted these concert tickets. We said sure and asked why he couldn't go. All he said was that he couldn't go and would like if we could use them. It was for that evening. We thanked him and invited him to stay and have coffee and a snack he refused. and said he would be right back. He came back with the tickets and again we thanked him. As he was leaving out the door he said, " I can't go because my daughter committed suicide last night". and shut the door.

We were shocked. I started crying again and went downstairs where he was. He had some of his supplies in the laundry room. I said, I'm so sorry please come back upstairs and talk. I told him he didn't have to finish the work and take time off. He explained that he had to keep moving and working. He said his daughter was thirty years old and had made 2 previous attempts. I believe he said she had 2 children. She suffered from depression and they sought help for her many times. He said he had to go. I gave this stranger a hug and through my tears muttered "take care". I asked him to come back and visit sometime.

That night we went to the concert and I didn't enjoy myself. I just kept thinking of the pain of the family and how the daughter might have been feeling. It was a very sad way to get tickets.

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500 × 353 Search by image depressed depression suicide eating disorder Personal secrets help ... ... | Source


Comments 39 comments

creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Thank you Sky for a very touching and sorrowful hub, I'm sure you gave that man some encouragement, even though he was able to acknowledge it at the time, but he'll be back when he comes to grips with his loss.Thanks for sharing. Godspeed. creativeone59

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Thank you for reading. I always appreciate your feedback creativeone.

Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

Sister Sky; what a touching story. We all deal with grief in different ways, and stumble through it with the Graces of God. This worker knew he had to keep busy because even-though he was faced with a tragedy he still had to put food on the table, and if he was a religiuos man, he probably knew that God desired him to work to distract him from the grief of knowing that his daughter had been so desperate that she ended her own life.

Brother Dave.

fred allen profile image

fred allen 6 years ago from Myrtle Beach SC

I have a book. "Bible promises for Dad" There are several very short stories introducing each section of the book. This is one.

A little girl was sent on an errand by her mother. She took too much time in coming back. Mother therefore demanded an explanation when she finally did return. The little girl explained that on her way she had met a little friend who was crying because she had broken her doll.

"Oh" said the mother, "then you stopped to help her fix her doll?"

"Oh no" replied the little girl.

"I stopped to help her cry."

You remind me of her.

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Brother Dave, You are right. He just had to keep going until he was ready to deal with the grief. It was so heartbreaking.

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

fred allen: Thank you for reading. It sounds like a good book and I take your comment as a compliment. I don't know if it is always good to help people cry but I seem to do it a lot. lol

Simply Jill profile image

Simply Jill 6 years ago

Brought many tears,Just goes to show, you never know what one may be going through!

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Yes, it's true you never know. Thanks for reading Simply Jill.

Tusitala Tom profile image

Tusitala Tom 6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Hi, Sky321,

Yes, I can emphasise with your feelings that something was wrong before the man told you. I had an experience many years ago of getting a sudden intuition something dreadful had happened. I was alone at the movies and immediately hurried home I was fourteen. I got home to find that my elder brother, who was seventeen, had hanged himself.

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. That is so tragic. How did you survive that as a teen?

DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 6 years ago

I hope that more people that feel that much depression will turn for help.I find your story so touching.I send you comfort across the miles.Thanks for enlightning me.

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Thanks for reading. This was a sad hub.

Greenlily profile image

Greenlily 6 years ago from Philippines

How sad to hear people committing suicide. That is not the way to end a problem. Please send my condolences to the man.

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Yes, we need to get in touch with him. Thank you for reading.

lifegate profile image

lifegate 6 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

There's a world of hurting people out there.Thank you for being so sensitive.

knitting profile image

knitting 6 years ago

Suicide is a permanent soluttion to a temporary problem.

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Thanks for your comments lifegate and knitting.

Elijah Returns profile image

Elijah Returns 6 years ago from United Kingdom

lifegate, too true, and the churches are full of them...if christ were here now, he wouldnt know where to look........hi luanne, fred, lots of love from jerusalem

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Hey Elijah, How are you? Thanks for reading.

Elijah Returns profile image

Elijah Returns 6 years ago from United Kingdom

hi luanne, the weather is very hot. I pray at the wall each day...i will go tonight as sunsets and the city lights up, hope you are well

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Hi, I'm fine. I'm off to work in a few minutes. I'm sure the sunset will be nice.

lambservant profile image

lambservant 6 years ago from Pacific Northwest

It is heartbreaking to hear these stories. So much pain and suffering in this world. I need to hear stories like this because I suffer from depression and have indeed tried to end my life on a few occasions. Lately I had two friends who attempted suicide and was devesated. Thanks be to God both are still here and getting help. I am doing so well now and love life to the fullest. I hate to think of the pain I would have caused my family and friends. God saved me, he wants me here for a reason. I love him so and the life he has given me. Thanks for this story Skye.

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

lambservant: I am so happy to hear that you are doing well. I also have struggled with depression. I'm sure God will use your experiences to help others. God bless you I'm glad you joined hubpages.

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 6 years ago

Sky 321 , we never know what someone we're standing next to has experiened huh? Thanks for sharing, There was no more you could have done for this man than you did. I'm sur he felt that to.

olgakhumlo profile image

olgakhumlo 6 years ago from Mira Road Mumbai India

Hi Sky,

I too have felt such a wave of emotion sweep over me a couple of weeks ago in church on Sunday when I stood up to share the words from John 12 :44-50., I found myself sobbing. I choked and my voice muffled I turned around in trying to soothe my nerves ,seconds passed by and I managed to read only three words "And Jesus cried" I broke into tears once again. The church sat in silence, a few minutes passed then slowly turning to face the congregation I read the passage. How often I've felt myself raging within against those who spurn the gospel and turn to mock Jesus. These words from this passage struck me."Jesus Himself never judged those who rejected Him. Jesus said, " My Father will judge them on the last day ." Why do they wait for the JUDGEMENT DAY? Olga

olgakhumlo profile image

olgakhumlo 6 years ago from Mira Road Mumbai India

Hi Sky321,

Thanks for sharing.Truly this alarming rate of suicides by children and youths has made us seriously think .Oh! that God may stir our hearts to strengthen my prayer for these kids. Please join me in prayer.

sad daddy 6 years ago

My daughter took her own life almost 7 years ago. The pain is still very hard. But i very recently learned two things from a web page reprint: 1) i will not let her final act define her whole life; 2) my own life can still go on with meaning and purpose. She was a wonderful girl, a beautiful girl, who listened to the wrong voices, the ones who told her life was not worth living. And now we who remain must go on. Shall my life also end with hers? No. I believe I can still live a productive, fun, and meaningful life in spite of the pain just below the surface. God is great!

kathryn1000 profile image

kathryn1000 6 years ago from London

Very moving.The man must have been glad you were able to hear him.Many years may pass before we begin to live again after such events.Self blame is a big problem for many of us.

Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time

such sorrow, I don't know what to say

:( Great Hub.and thanks for sharing with us.

stormyone profile image

stormyone 5 years ago from Nebraska

So sad, your words and caring probably meant so much to him, more than you'll ever know. Too many people don't reach out and care. Good for you for doing so.

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 5 years ago from Canada Author

Thank you all for reading and for showing your compassion.

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DonnaVitt 2 years ago

55 days ago my 30 year old daughter shot herself in the heart, left behind two children. I found out after her death she was molested at 16 by my ex husband , her step father. She never came to me! according to her close friend she thought I would not believe her. I am not the kind of mother with blinders on! My ex said one day that my daughter was running around naked while I was at work! So I confronted her alone and she admitted it! I naturally scolded her!but then I asked her has he EVER touched you? and she said No! I asked her has she ever seen him with no clothes? she said NO! I asked her on 3 or 4 occasions and she denied it. I could not figure out why my mother and adult brothers stopped talking to me! they lived 5 hours away. After her death I found out the truth! I am living a nightmare! she was an alcoholic and suffered from depression, she was in a volatile relationship and ultimately killed herself over a long relationship with her daughters father. Four years ago I went to help her out and saw she had a serious drinking problem and she was abusive towards me! I told her I will help with the children but I told her she needs to get help because she has a drinking problem, she did not like hearing that and she cut me off for 4 years. So I am dealing with unresolved issues….Please someone talk to me if you have similar situation! My family blames me!

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 2 years ago from Canada Author

Dear DonnaVitt, I am so sorry to hear about this tragedy, you must be in so much pain. I don't mean to sound blunt or harsh but I have to write as it comes to my heart. Don't blame yourself for the following reasons, your ex-husband was in the wrong, your daughter was in the wrong and you don't know the whole situation. Maybe she called it molested but being 16 she knew what was going on, for all you know she could have wanted that. 16 year old girls say and do many things but tell it like something else when they want sympathy. It sounds like she knew what she was doing if she was walking around naked. How could you have know if she didn't tell you. Either way she was your daughter and you are grieving for her loss, and grief can bring up a series of emotions, self-blame being one of them. And I am sorry to hear that you don't have any family to help you. I would suggest that you start seeing a counselor so that they can help you sort through these emotions. You can heal on your own, but the counselor will help you get there faster. It seems as though your family is assuming things that aren't true. I feel real bad for you and It was by no accident that you came across this hub. Although, it may not seem like it right now, God knows your pain and He really wants to help you, so reach out to Him. I'm going to pray for you and your situation and I hope that you could come back to these comments and let me know how you are doing. Sky 321

Dear Heavenly Father you know DonnaVitt's pain, you know how much she is hurting and you love her so, so much. I pray that you could relieve her pain and give her a peace right now and I pray that you will send someone to help her with her unresolved issues. I pray that she will lean on You and depend on You for strength. God work some supernatural healing in her life and bring glory somehow through this situation. Be with her now I pray all these things, In the powerful name of Jesus, Amen

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DonnaVitt 2 years ago

Thank you! I do have a lot of support from other family and friends and as far as what happened, Nikki was 16 and a child. I found out my ex threatened her with violence. He is 6 foot 3 250 lbs and nikki was 5 foot 3 105 lbs she was scared of him. I understand her hear for I was afraid of him too. I will never know the details ,but before she died she opened up to her close friend and said her troubles started with her biological father who she claimed he rejected her and left it at that… so her father and step father abused her and the two relationships she held with her children's fathers were just the opposite! they were very passive men they loved her more than life. Alcohol destroyed the last one and when he left her for someone else she could not handle it. Because of the alcohol she got her first DUI then after first attempt of suicide she lost custody of kids and her job…..her life was crumbling! she pushed me away because I told her she needed help and it was the last thing she wanted to hear. She did not want help. It kills me! I hope I made some sense when typing this…


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 2 years ago from Canada Author

Yeah you make sense don't worry. It is so sad and I just feel so bad for her and you. Alcohol is terrible! I hate it! It makes people more depressed and make bad decisions. I have 2 children who are grown and they both drink alcohol, one of them blacks out and wakes up with horrible consequences. It scares me too death. I'm always praying for them but sometimes fear the worst.

And I think that rejection is a hard thing to deal with especially when you are young. I don't know my father and was raised by my grandparents and as a teenager I felt rejection from my biological mother, I didn't know all the facts. I suffered with depression as a teen and made bad choices because of it. I still have bouts of depression today. I also have pushed people away.

It sounds like you really tried to help her Donna. Grieving is a painful process and I'm sure there is not that much I could say to make you feel better. But rest assured that talking and sharing really does help. Please keep me posted and tell me more of your feelings if you want to.

May God comfort you today and give you a peace that passes all understanding.


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DonnaVitt 2 years ago

thank you! I never drank or did drugs, never smoked!! but was rejected by my mother but had the love of my father. My two daughters went through hell when they reached the ages of 11& 13…their father left us and started a new family and wanted nothing to do with us and it really affected my girls. My oldest was drinking alcohol and drugs and when she turned 18 I had to kick her out! she refused to go to school or get a job. Today she is educated and married and due to have a baby next month and Has had nothing to do with me since I kicked her out. She said I am a bad parent! I work all day and she did not want to follow rules! she questioned my parenting skills and I told her I learned from her nana, my mother! she did not like that at all! so she told my mother what I said and my mother cut me off 5 years ago! its terrible they walk around and call them selves catholics! frankly I think they are hypocrites. I read the bible daily and live by his word. I have always tried to do the right thing but was never good enough….:(

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 2 years ago from Canada Author

Tough love is what you have to do sometimes. You sound like a good parent to me and I'm sure she will come around soon. Keep up the faith Donna, God is near to you! He is faithful and just even if it doesn't seem like it for a season. Don't let Satan steal your faith and keep reading the Word of God. I will continue to pray for you and hopefully other believer's will see this and pray for you too. God Bless You.

Sky321 profile image

Sky321 2 years ago from Canada Author

DonnaVitt, How are you today? I would like to hear from you. I was thinking about you. Maybe you could write out your thoughts, feelings and all the pain. You don't have to publish if you don't want to, but just to get it out. I find that it is easier to sort through feelings after they are written out and it helps as an outlet. Waiting to hear from you.

Donna 2 years ago

Thank you! Sorry I have not replied sooner I am doing better but now I has lost contact with my grand daughter

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