How to Enjoy Life More
Twelve suggestions to help you to be more healthy, wealthy, wise, self-confident, successful, attractive and enjoy life more. Trust me!
Since I am older than soil – that came before dirt, you know – I can speak from experience. If you want to enjoy your life to the fullest, here are twelve important rules you should follow. Are you ready?
Rule Number One - Smile and laugh more!
Did you know it takes only 17 muscles to smile but 43 muscles to frown? Conserve your energy! Your life is just like a mirror. You will get the best results when you smile at it. Promise.
Here’s a short pun so you can start laughing NOW!
A Doberman, a Bulldog, and a Chihuahua are in a doggie bar having a drink when a beautiful female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can use the words liver and cheese creatively in the same sentence can go home with me."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese."
The female Collie says, "That's not creative enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese."
She says, "That's not creative either."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, guys-- cheese mine."
Rule Number Two - Exercise daily.
- If you don't exercise, you dramatically increase your risk of dying from a heart attack.
- Being physically active can bolster good mental health and help you to manage stress, anxiety, even depression.
- Regular exercise as you age helps to keep you strong, mobile and less dependent on others.
Do not follow Joan Rivers’ advice: “I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, he'd have put diamonds on the floor.”
Rule Number Three - Look before you leap.
A corollary might be ’Think before you Speak.’
Mr. and Mrs. Smith had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports car. He would have settled on any beat-up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale. Services for Mr. Smith will take place on Wednesday the 8th. Due to the condition of the body, this will be a closed casket service.
Even a fish could stay out of trouble if it would just learn to keep its mouth shut.
Rule Number Four - Treasure your friends.
Two good friends were hiking through the woods when they heard something crashing through the brush. They turned around and saw a very large, ferocious black bear charging toward them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into his sneakers.. His friend said “What are you doing? You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!'”
The first fellow said, “I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun YOU!”
“True friends stab you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde
Rule Number Five - Spend quality time with your family.
Possum Facts: There are more than 60 different species of opossum often called possums. It is the only marsupial (pouched mammal like the kangaroo) found in the United States.
When baby possums are born they are as tiny as honeybees. They immediately crawl into the mother's pouch where they continue to develop. As they get larger, they will go in and out of the pouch and sometimes ride on the mother's back as she hunts for food. Possums may give birth to as many as 20 babies in a litter, but fewer than half of them survive.
Lee Iacocca (former Ford Motors CEO) said it best: “The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family.”
Rule Number Six - Take the time to relax.
An old man about 90 years old was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman strolled by and asked him why he was crying.
"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we have more fun together laughing and relaxing. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we have more fun together laughing and relaxing."
The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"
"I know! I know!" says the old man. "I'm crying because I can't remember where I live!"
“The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.” – Sydney J. Harris
Rule Number Seven - Apologize when you are wrong.
Sample of Apology Text Message from a Wife:
“Dearest, As I came home from the market, when I turned into the driveway, I accidentally pushed down on the pick-up truck’s accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door now is a little bent but the pick-up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped slightly into your sports car.
I’m really sorry but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me, knowing how much I love and care for you, sweetheart. I am attaching a picture for you.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. Your loving wife. Hugs and kisses.
P.S. Your girlfriend called."
“My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.” – Joan Rivers
Rule Number Eight - Be the best you can be.
The U.S. Army slogan should be your mantra.
"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Whatever you are, be a good one.” - Abraham Lincoln
Rule Number Nine - Save for a rainy day.
Save for a wintry day, too.
The Indians asked their Chief in the fall if the winter was going to be cold. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replied that the winter was going to be cold and all the members of the tribe were to collect wood. Then he called the National Weather Service and asked, “Will this winter be cold?” The man on the phone responded, “This winter will be quite cold indeed.”
So the Chief went back to tell his tribe to collect even more wood. A week later he called the Weather Service again, “Is it going to be a VERY cold winter?” “Yes," the man replied, “it’s going to be a very cold winter.” So the Chief ordered his people to go and find every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the Weather Service again: “Are you absolutely certain that the winter is going to be VERY cold?” “Absolutely,” the weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting wood like crazy!”
I have saved enough money to last for the rest of my life. Unless I purchase something.
Rule Number Ten - Eat a balanced diet.
No, a balanced diet is not chocolate in each hand. And eating a balanced meal does not have to be a complicated process. You include proteins, carbohydrates, fats/lipids, vitamins, minerals and water.
Nutritionists say there is a simple way to tell if you're eating right. Colors. Fill your plates with bright colors. Greens, reds, yellows. I did just that for lunch. It was delicious! I never knew eating right could be so easy. In less than ten minutes, I devoured an entire bowl of M&M’s.
Rule Number Eleven - Understand that nothing is impossible.
“Humans can live about 40 days without food, about 3 days without water, up to about 8 minutes without air, but only for one second without hope.”
Rule Number Twelve - Be creative!
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl on the sidewalk in a little red wagon with little ladders hung on the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. She is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.
The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," he says.
He looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Excuse me, miss," he says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"
Now that you have read these inspirational suggestions, follow them and you will enjoy your life more. Promise!
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"
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