Eye Exam Secret
Today while at work I was required to go to the nurse's station, and take my yearly hearing and eye exam. When I first arrived the nurse was at lunch, so I had about a fifteen minute wait. I took advantage of the time, and I went on outside and smoked a quick cigarette. When I returned She was waiting on me. I filled out the usual paperwork, and took my hearing test in the little soundproof booth. I was once accused of cheating on a hearing test in that booth, but the truth be known I was just pushing the button to the music of "We will Rock You" by the group Queen. To say the least the nurse opened the door to the booth, and wasn't the least bit amused by my actions. I passed the hearing test this time, and next was the eye test.
Now I'll be the first to admit that I can't see as well as I used to, but what happened next blew my mind. I was instructed to read the last line on the eye chart which I could see. I first told her "E", but she was once again not amused at my jab at humor. This nurse really doesn't have a sense of humor. I then read the lowest line on the eye chart that I could see, and when I finished she told me that next year if I can't read at least that same line then I'll be sent out of here to an eye doctor. I was at first shocked, and later when I returned to my work area, I discussed what had just happened and taken place with my co-worker Bert.
Bert told me not to worry about it, and went on to explain his little secret. Bert said that he just simply memorized the line for 20/20 vision, on the standardized eye chart that is used all over the world, which is - "D E F P O T E C". He said he knows it by heart now, and when ever he has to go for his eye test he just recites it from memory. Bert said that he's been doing this a long time time now, and it's better then losing your job. I figure what the heck, I have an entire year to memorize these eight simple letters, and thus the secret to passing an eye exam is now revealed and passed onto to you.
Now you can pass this eye exam with your right eye, left eye, both eyes, or heck if necessary even with no eyes opened. All you have to do is memorize, and remember the secret - D E F P O T E C.
Bert also told me another quick secret for taking a hearing test. He said when your all hooked up in the booth and the first beep occurs count 1,001 1,002 and hit the button. When you release the button count 1,001 1,002 again and then hit the button, and continue doing the same count as you hit the button all the way through till the end of the test. He said he used this method and shocked the nurse with a perfect score.
Can you spot the penny that is different?
I would like to reinforce the notion that this isn't a nice or friendly company that I work for. Most bigger companies now a days aren't employee friendly. Let me give you a quick example of just how friendly this company really is. A few years back during Christmas time, a fellow employee called in sick to work. He really truly was sick, but later in the day he started to feel better. So his wife suggested that they try to get some of their Christmas shopping done. While at the store shopping, an armed robbery took place. The security guard who was a husband and father was shot to death during this robbery. My coworker tried to help the security guard, but was only able to speak briefly with him until he died. My coworker's photograph was on the front page of the local newspaper, and he was listed as a witness. The next day at work the human resources manger saw the newspaper and suspended him for three days. This was three years ago and the jury selection in this murder case is taking place now. We all wonder if he'll get another three days off if he's called to court to testify as a witness. Like I said this is a real sweet heart of a company.
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