Find Your Graduating Class Online

Find Your Graduating Class Online

A veritable plethora of Interweb sites offer graduating class-finding services. Colleges, high schools, elementary schools, trade schools and probably schools of fish have been collated into high-tech databases. Should you find yourself suddenly alone and bored, go online to learn who has gone bald and divorced. You may feel better about yourself.

And #1 in Yahoo is...

A Yahoo search for graduating class yields an informative web page for the BMCC 2010 Graduating Class Gift. BMCC stands for "Borough of Manhattan Community College", no doubt a stellar institution of higher learning. We learn that college personnel in Room S747/749 graciously accept donations. Online gifting is also made available. Donors get prominently listed.

Finding a Graduating Class can be dangerous

Surfing for your graduating class presents risks commensurate with smoking in the boy's room. No less than 5 sites in the Yahoo top 10 search results (for graduating class) are malicious pages designed to provide more than long lost college chums.

Fortunately, a real web browser such as Firefox is smart enough to intercept the offending HTML and provide an escape hatch.

This wasn't a fun school
This wasn't a fun school

Pingry School

Congrats to the Pingry School Class of 2010. Graduation ceremonies begin at 3PM, rather than 4PM, with a lawn party immediately thereafter. Anyone passing through Martinsville, New Jersey may wish to avoid the inevitable traffic snarls as mile upon mile of Jaguar, Bently, and Prius queue up for valet parking.

The Pingry Fund sits within spitting distance of its' 2010 goal. $1,760,431 of $2,300,000 has been collected.

Long Lost Schoolmates

Search for old flames with classmates.com. It's not stalking but it may verge on a really high level of interest in things that will probably only result in heartache. Don't kid yourself; no one's been waiting since graduation to be searched by you. In exchange for your semi-private information, classmates.com offers a fleeting glimpse into the old days. Tell them who you are and from whence you graduated; they'll offer up everyone else who walked with you. Their database boasts over 3.9 million members in New Jersey alone, several of which are no doubt Pingry School alumni.

Intelius Includes Interesting Insights Into Identities

Nothing escapes the Intelius database. Instead of simply searching by graduating class, delve deeply into the credit ratings of your friends on the JV tennis team. Be the life of the party at the class reunion. When that cute guy from Biology I forgets your name at the class reunion, you can remind him of his unpaid parking tickets.

Conclusion

Privacy is dead. Hiding from high school has become impossible. Good luck living down the acne, braces, and hand-me-down jeans. Don't think for one minute that becoming an account manager at Goldman Sachs excuses you from eternal embarrassment in innumerable online classmate databases.

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Comments 3 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Very clever, nicomp, but you always are.

I'm thinking that in a few years, the concept of privacy will be unknown and the word itself may be long gone from our conversations.


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 6 years ago

Did you try any of the other browsers to see if the attack got through and destroyed years of painstaking research which meant you had to light a candle instead of your computer monitor in the dark?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@psychicdog.net: I sniffed the packets, decrypted the SSL stream, devised a reverse-sql injection, and launched a co-ordinated DOS attack on the offending sites.

Then I enjoyed a latte.

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