Flush away the mental muck! How to deal with negative programming !

Have you ever went on vacation only to come home and realize that you forgot to take out the garbage.The minute you walk through the door loaded down and tired from your trip the smell hits you a week old fish square in the face. Many people walk with this same problem inside their heads. Our minds can become a garbage bin for every negative comment every made to you if you allow it to be. How many of you remember every snide snarky little comment made to you by the school bully or the resident mean girl 5, 10 and 20 years after the fact. How many of you live in the mental homes left over from your parents stray comments allowing the damage to tear away at your self esteem. The person or person's may be long gone but you continue to allow them to live on in your home rent-free trashing your sense of well-being and stinking up your thinking. Well, no more, a few years ago I discovered a novel and fun way to clean out the trash and deal with the negative comments made to me once and for all.

How it works

This quick and effective method to stop the endless train of negative comments left in your mind by others requires no long expensive hours of pschotherapy nor does it include some new miracle drug. However it is guaranteed to flush away 10 pounds of mind much in 10 days, or close to it. All you need is :

  • a notebook,
  • a pen and
  • a roll of toilet paper.

The first thing you will need to do is to identify and label the muck roaming around in your head. Listen to the way in which you talk to yourself or others on a daily basis. Are you repeating certain phrases of sentiments simply handed off to you by someone else, do you judge yourself and your abilities based on the comments of someone else. Now is the time to catch yourself repeating all those old things and write them down. After doing this for a few days I want you to look at the statements closely. If you take a few minutes to yourself you will probably be able to identify who you heard it from and where. Perhaps a parent made a comment about your cleanliness or work ethic, or the little girl in second grade called you fat or stupid. The longevity of these comments is truly amazing but once you make an effort to write them down and look at them for what they are it is ussually pretty easy to see their source.

Now that you are armed with your list of negative comments and their true owners. I want you to take a pen and carefully write out the comments on to your toilet paper. Carefully roll the toilet paper back on to the roll and wait until the next time nature calls. Then all you do is take your special paper and go to the bathroom. As you sit upon the thinking chair read through the comments and think about the when and where this comment was made to you, now ask yourself if you feel it is something you need or if it is time to go ahead and let it go. If you have decided this comment has lived in your head long enough go ahead and do what you normally do with your toilet paper. Wipe your rear end with it and with a flourish flush it down the toilet.

I know this seems silly but that is the point. Outrageous methods are memorable and very effective at releasing long held thought patterns. This method gives you outlet to examine long held belief patterns that have out lived their shelf life and a perfect fun way to get rid of them. Just like our physical homes need a good cleaning from time to time so do our mental ones. Think of how cluttered and chaotic your home would be if you hung on to every scrap of paper and yet this is exactly what we do by hanging on to all this negative feedback. So do yourself a favor and take out the trash!

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Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

Funny - I'm not absolutely convinced that this is an effective method, but it sure is an original one. I just think a positive mantra repeated often enough will do the trick.


wendi_w profile image

wendi_w 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Positive affirmations are a fantastic tool that can be used in conjunction with this method. I am a former victim of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder stemming from an extremely abusive marriage. I now work with abuse victims to help them put their lives together. This is one of the methods we have used for awhile to combat years of verbal abuse. And though it sounds pretty weird it is very effective.


writeronline 5 years ago

Nice work, wendi_w, (imho). I've had a fair bit of experience with mental issues myself, - not something you'd necessarily sign up for if you had the choice; but character-building nonetheless, as you obviously know yourself.

In my experience, although positive affirmations are powerful, they tend to be general in nature, and are seldom able to be focused on specific issues that you need to clear out, and get past.

I learned a technique, which very much supports what you're saying about the benefit of writing it down, but which extends to actually repaying the shit you've endured, and allowed to fester, caused by insults, slights, negative comments and actions. What you do is write a letter to each and every one of those people, describe the event, make them aware of how it's affected you, make them understand what evil, malicious, dumb, idiotic, selfish, uncaring (you get the idea, it's about venting) people they truly are. Don't forgive them, threaten them, call them names, verbally beat the crap out of them, it's no less than they deserve after all.

Then you re-read the letter, maybe a couple of times, to make sure you've got it all down / out. But you never send it. Instead, you burn it, and never revisit those thoughts.

What happens is that your subconscious mind gets the circuit breaker that it needs, because the mental process of crystallising and writing out your emotions is identical, whether or not the letter gets mailed.

The real difficulty is resisting the pattern behaviour of digging up and revisiting those issues. (Hence burning your letters). That’s where I like your toilet paper technique; because it’s focused on physically, and permanently, getting rid of shit.

We can learn more too, by watching dogs. While they always pause to have a last look at what they've just deposited, maybe even a little sniff, they then walk away, without a backward glance. And they don’t pop back the next day, or week, to review the state of the pile. It's just, 'crap and move on'. That seems to fit nicely with your recommended 'flow it out and flush it down'.

Good job. (Sorry, couldn’t resist..... :)


wendi_w profile image

wendi_w 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Thank you writer. I have shared this with hundreds of women in domestic abuse situations and many many young adults recovering from child abuse. I have done it as well. I always get the strangest looks when describing it but it is so effective. I have also used and assisted in the letter method. In my opinion this one is more effective though because it allows the person to go through each and every destructive remark.The symbolism of the toilet and flushing are also so ingrained in us as a manner to rid ourselves of something. ( Like the dog analogy by the way) We would all be so much better if we could simply crap and move on)


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

Great hub, Wendi! Reads funny, but in truth seems a form of free therapy that can work if the practitioner actually goes through each destructive remark and lets go of it in this symbolic fashion.


wendi_w profile image

wendi_w 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Thank you, it is so silly but a really great method.


Darknlovely3436 profile image

Darknlovely3436 5 years ago from NewYork

One i went on vaction for three week, not knowing that my daughter did not flush th toilet, before we leave,

so do i need to say anymore, before i go on a vacation , I usually empty my refrigator, take out the garbage, etc

so that on my return, i do not walk in to unexpected situation love your hubs...


fucsia profile image

fucsia 5 years ago

Your method is funny and probably also effective, but I have the opposite problem: I have too low self-esteem and often I do not think that the positive comments of others are true. Actually.... I think that I am in the right way to overcome this.

Anyway: Great Hub!


wendi_w profile image

wendi_w 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Keep watching fucsia, I will be publishing some on building your self esteem as well. But perhaps you should ask yourself why your self esteem is so low, many times it is because of this type of mental junk left there by others. In that case it is very effective. I had a verbally abusive mother growing up and an abusive ex-husband, both of which whittled away at my self esteem for years. First get rid of the stuff given to you from others than make a concerted effort to replace it with self affirming statements.


Ebower profile image

Ebower 5 years ago from Georgia

Quite interesting! I might just have to try it; voted up and useful.

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