What Foods Make You Fart. How To Fart More.
Foods That Cause Farts
First let me say that I wanted a picture to go along with this Hub, but then decided that, no, I didn't really want a picture having anything to do with both farts and food. If you are interested in the visual elements of farting, try YouTube. Lots of hilarious videos, involving drunk people, matches, and farts.
27,000 YouTube fart videos, mainly of people lighting farts on fire. Kids, don't try this at home. Go out in the woods. During a rainstorm. And take your cell phone; you'll need it when you call 911.
Now, I enjoy a good loud fart as much as the next guy, but, really, there are times and places I don't want to fart. It can be useful to know what foods make you fart more, and which don't.
First, the more constipated you are, the more you will fart and the smellier they will be. Farts are caused mainly by bacteria breaking down undigested food in your gut. The gas is the waste product of the bacteria. Basically, bacteria poop and pee, but gassy.
What foods cause constipation and farting? Easy. The foods below are listed worst on top.
- Wheat, especially refined white flour products. I used to follow the traditional 'healthy' diet. I ate lots of whole grain foods, and even did a lot of baking myself. I had lots of gas and lots of constipation. When I got constipated I would eat those super-high-fiber breakfast cereals, and sure enough that 'cured' my constipation, by giving me diarrhea. So I alternated between constipation and diarrhea. During that whole period of my life I did not eat a low-fiber diet, but ate lots of whole-grain foods, home-grown veggies and fruits. I got lots of farts and constipation anyway. Whole grain wheat and other grains are bad, but the refined versions are far worse. Avoid them. Wheat is a poison.
- Processed, concentrated foods. Even though I thought I was eating a healthy diet, I did occasionally eat unhealthy foods, snacks, energy bars and the like. Instant constipation. Those tubes of identical potato chips, made from ultra-processed potato mash, were the worst. I think they are actually made of cement mix, not potatoes, by the effect they had on my guts.
- Some foods that we would normally think of as healthy can also cause constipation, and therefore farts. Bananas and cheese, for example. If you tend towards constipation, limit these. (insert cutting cheese joke here)
- The stinky gases are formed from sulfur. Some foods have a lot of sulfur in them. The worst for farts are the Brassicaceae, all vegetables related to the broccoli and cabbage, including kale and Brussels sprouts. Not only do these have lots of sulfur, but they also have lots of rough fiber, which feeds the gas-producing bacteria. These foods, however, do not cause constipation, and they have valuable nutrients. Avoid them only if you want to avoid really stinky farts.
- Beans, of course. Beans have plenty of sulfur, and also contain indigestible (by humans) materials. The bacteria digest them just fine, and give off all that wonderful gas as they do. Beans do contain some useful nutrients, and if you are a vegetarian, you pretty much have to eat them and just put up with the gas, or take Beano. And here is a link to the official Beano company list of fartipherous foods. Note the grain products and vegetables they list.
High fiber foods may not cause constipation, but they do often cause farts. Low-fiber, concentrated, industrially processed foods also cause farts. So what is left? What foods don't cause farts?
Again, easy. Fat, fatty meats, oils. The natural foods of the human animal. We have simple stomachs with high HCL (hydrochloric acid) for digesting meat. Just like a dog, wolf or lion. We are designed to eat meat. We also have a fairly long small intestine, so we can and obviously do digest plant matter to a certain degree, though nowhere nearly as well as a true herbivore like a cow or horse. Our large intestine, where many herbivores digest plant fiber, is simple and short, and we don't have a complex chambered stomach like a cow, so we can't digest much plant-based food.
Dogs fart, but check out the ingredient list on the dog food. Dog food is mostly grain, wheat, corn, sometimes rice or oats. It also includes beans, usually soybeans for fat and protein. The exact same foods that cause farts in humans. If your dog has nasty farts, check the ingredient list on his food. Dogs are like people, they can eat plant-based foods, but are not really well designed for them.
This may sound crazy, and many web sites you go to on the subject of avoiding farts will advise against meat. But those web sites are run by vegetarians, people who have a philosophical aversion to meat. They would tell you anything to get you to stop eating meat. I am not saying they are lying to you, just that their opinions are stronger than their evidence.
Besides, humans are omnivores, and our bodies adapt to the diet we are eating. If you are a vegetarian, and suddenly start eating meat again, it may take a few days or weeks for your body to begin producing the natural enzymes to digest it, depending on how long and how fanatical you have been about avoiding meat. For some period of time, meat may cause mild intestinal distress, including farts. It goes away.
I know for a fact that a diet consisting of almost entirely meat and fat will stop constipation, and farts. It took only two days on this diet for my digestion to begin improving. In just days my constipation ceased, and my farts. My wife was so relieved that even though she thought it a simply crazy diet, she never complained (much). It took me longer to figure out that the bananas and cheese were also causing problems, and after I limited those, I very rarely had any constipation or farts, or any digestive problems at all. I had an endoscopic camera put down my throat, and the doctor commented on how unusually healthy my stomach and small intestine looked.
Add to that all of the other health benefits of this diet, and it is a simple choice. Eat your meat, leafy greens and fruits. Throw in some nuts and eggs for variety.
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