For The Love Of a Sister: A Memorial

Rest in Peace My Darling baby Sister. I love you Always and Forever.
Rest in Peace My Darling baby Sister. I love you Always and Forever.

Sisters

 Sisters are someone special that God sent from above,

your confidant, your best friend, unconditional love.

Sisters are a gift to share your hopes and dreams,

to hear all your secrets, to share those special things.

Sisters are a treasure more precious than jewels or gold,

to be there with you always together growing old.

Sisters are the ones who care when no one else is around,

the one who is there to pick you up when your feeling down.

You've always been there for me in the worst and in the best,

GO IN PEACE MY DARLING SISTER

IN GOD'S SWEET ARMS FIND REST.

 

I love and miss you Dee, Gone too soon but never forgotten:

About Dee

My memories of my sister Dedrae are many. They span from childhood to adulthood. Even though we had our ups and downs, she was my best friend as well as my baby sister.Dedrae passed away on Feburary 24th, 2011, after a devastating battle with cancer. She was 45. I never knew the pain I would suffer with her loss. I always thought it would be me who went first...I never imagined having to bury my baby sister or one of my children. She left behind her husband Ron and  three children, Reena, Brittany and Larry. Also three grandchildren. Left behind are also many brothers, sisters, a mother and father and too many neices and nephews to name. each of us has suffered our own loss...it is different for each one of us. This is meant to be a memorial to her life ..not her death. I feel this is what she would have wanted.

Dee was born in Mississippi. At the time of her death she was 45. Neither her childhood nor life were easy. We were poor and did the best we could with what we had. She was the fifth child in a family of eight. She was tall, slim and beautiful. She was always quick to smile and to offer consolation to those in need of it. She was tendered hearted and a joy to those who knew her. The last years of her life were spent singing praises to the Lord and teaching the young children about him....this included my grandchildren. She was one of those special people that God puts on earth to guide the rest of us. Even when she was sick she would get up to cut my youngest grandaughters hair because she would only let "aunt dee" do it. She was a sunday school teacher and director of youth activties in our little country church in the dell. The first time I heard her sing in church and render a beautiful version of the old gospel song "The Lighthouse", I sat with tears streaming down my face. She sang the song "I Sure Miss You" at the funeral of my father in 2005 when he passed away. She was quick to help those who were less fortunate and I can't count the fundraisers she organized to pay a needy families bills or rent. She was truly an angel sent by God to walk among us .

Memories of Dee

 Childhood in Mississippi is made up of many things, all of these and more I remember sharing with my sister Dee. The sweet smell of honeysuckle, picking plums, working in the garden, and walking down dusty dirt roads. I remember bending the small pine trees over to straddle them and ride them like horses....up and down. We swam in the various creeks and caught lighting bugs in jars to let go in our shared room, sometimes squashing them on our hands to see them glow. we played house, making mud pies and chasing each other through the high corn that grandpa planted every year. I haven't thought of these things for so many years until now. It's now that I realize just how precious those days were and how much you miss them when you suddenly look around and they are gone. We were thick as thieves, all eight of us would take a whipping before telling who the culprit was when we committed our childhood offenses. We didn't have money but i know now that we had something much more precious...Love.

The Last Goodbye

The last time I saw my sister Dee was on Mothers day of last year. I had not seen her since 2005 when I was in Mississippi and my father passed away. She called to tell me she would be in Dallas to see her daughters and since she had almost finshed cosmetology school she wanted to come by and cut and color my hair for mothers day. I was estatic and quickly made her up a little bath basket since mothers day was also her birthday. We talked and remembered memories from years ago, we discussed our problems and our joys. We talked about children and family, laughed, and cried. She cut off my long blonde hair and colored it a light brown like hers...my natural color. The time flew by and it was time for her to go, I walked her to her car, Held her close for a few minutes, told her I loved her and thanks for the new look, then watched with tears in my eyes as she drove away promising to come by and see me in may when her daughter was getting married. That was the last time I would see my sister alive.

A week later my mother called and told me Dee was really sick, she had a bad case of strep throat and was on antibiotics. She could hardly talk. After the antibiotics she didn't get any better and the doctors removed her tonsils. One came out okay, the other crumbled into pieces and was sent to be biopsed. The wait was a couple weeks...it was a time to pray and hope for the best. When the results returned my mother called me again and told me to sit down...Dee has throat cancer but they think they caught it in time. I was relived, I thought she would be okay. She would start chemotherapy and radiation the next week. Mississippi is the poorest state in the United States. It is near impossible to get medicaid there especially when you have no minor children, like Dee. Her husband does timber logging for a living and with Dee in school their earnings were meager at most. They mortaged their home, his work trucks and had fund raisers to pay for the treatments. Various ones in the family who could afford it donated money. The treatment was hell on her. She was so sick, her beautiful hair fell out and you could hear the pain in her voice even when she was trying to keep you from it. Within a few months the doctors thought she had it beat. We were happy for awhile.

During one of her followup visits the doctors told her they had found the cancer spread to her lungs...once again the pain and horror hit home. She returned to the chemo and radiation treatments. I didn't want to think about it or hear it. When my mom would try to call and talk to me about it, I made an excuse to go, I just couldn't stand to think about it. Then came the inevitable, the cancer spread throughout her body by the lymph nodes. She suffered one hospitalization after another, pain and agony...but through it all she remained strong for her family, always with a smile and a loving word of comfort. I called her a week before she left this world, she could barely talk. I was crying and told her I loved her and to please not leave me...she told me it would be okay and not to cry for her because she was going home to be with Jesus. A few days later the doctors sent her home to spend her last days. I didn't go home to see her ...I just wanted to remember her the way I last saw her, laughing smiling and beautiful.

The call came in at 10 minutes till three am on Febuary 25, 2011. I didn't answer the phone ...I knew she was gone. I lay in bed watching the phone ring and cried. In the following week the funeral arrangements were made... again I didn't attend. I couldn't bear to see her that way. She was laid to rest. I went outside to my little meditation garden and put a picture of her along with a cross, a lighthouse, a bouquet of roses and an angel on the tree. It would be my tribute, my final good-bye to the baby sister I loved so much. I love you Dee, now, always, and forever.


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Comments 6 comments

Schweet 5 years ago

I rememeber my baby sister calling me and telling me she had sino/nasal cancer (squamous cell) and I told her to stop joking. She would always make jokes about the strangest things. This was no joke. She told me that she had already had surgery to remove a nasal polyp and that it was sent off for biopsy which confirmed the cancer.

The lovely socialized medicine doctors we have in Australia told her that they would remove her right eye and give her palliative care (make her comofortable) at the age of 41!! She had a ten year old son and a nine year old daughter at the time. I bought her here to Texas to MD Anderson Cancer Center. The best there is. I thought they could save her. Turns out, they almost did but after high dose chemo and radiation to her beautiful face for 8 weeks when it looked like it was going to turn around it spread. She passed January 8 and frankly I never want to know the time.... never. The last time I saw her she did looked great (for a person who was dying). She was cooking (something she was gifted to do) and laughing and even though the doctors gave her a 10% chance of survival, I could not give up hope. Turns out, I never knew just how bad her health was one year prior to diagnosis when she had the flu for 9 weeks. I stayed in Australia for 4 weeks even though my husband had just been laid off, but we could not stay any longer. I was not going to watch her die, nor did I want to go to the funeral and see her like that. I wanted to remember her as a funny, beautiful girl, who often battled with depression and loneliness after her divorce. She never did get over it. I think this had a lot to do with her getting so ill.

Today, my family are not speaking to me because they feel like "I didn't do enough or I wasted 5 months of her life bringing her to Houston when she could have been with her kids. " Had I left her in Australia, she would not have almost 10 more months and be able to travel with her children to Disneyland, she would have passed much sooner.

I miss her sooo much everyday and sometimes I wonder what it is like for her now.... I have another sister and a brother and a mother. My dad suffers from Parkinsons disease and is in a nursing home and it is probably very fortunate he will never know he had lost a daughter and his best "buddy".

I don't know if I can stay in my house anymore, because she stayed with me for those five months and I feel her presence everywhere and she is sad and I am sad. Can't seem to shake it.

I don't know what to do with myself half the time... my family has kicked me to the curb (disgusting) and my husband now has a "new" wife to deal with.

Should I leave my house. Hate being in it now. I have episodes when I can barely handle it. You really do have to take it one day at a time.

When I am stronger, I will start an awareness campaign in her name. No one knows about this cancer and it is related to throat and oral cancers.

Love and peace to all of of you as you fight your way to a "new normal".


Barbara Turpin profile image

Barbara Turpin 5 years ago from N. California

I found this hub while writing (off & on) about my sister. She was 8 yrs younger than me, but we were attached at the hip. Things happen for a reason, her birthday is in Nov, that's the reason I found this.

I've been thru hard times in my life, this is the hardest of all things. I often send a txt yo her cell number, finally someone asked me who I was. I explained, the txt got back was 'not a problem. I had a tattoo of her name and dates put on my arm. It's nice to look in the mirror, I see her smiling at me, saying "what did you DO!"

I wish I could "get in touch" with her, just once.

I send all of you my deepest sorrow, and wish you peace in this, roller coaster ride.

Peace Be With You.


Tammy L profile image

Tammy L 5 years ago from Jacksonville, Texas

You have my deepest, heartfelt sympathies for your loss. I, too, lost a sister last year to AIDS. Like you, it was a great therapy for me to write a hub about my sister.

With love and blessings,

Tammy


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 5 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Always and Azure,

Now that I have fopund some inner peace I am beginning to write again and answer my comments. Azure i know that i will see my darling sister again. Always, I know how it feels and I am glad you understand. It has been hard on me. I miss her so much. Sometimes i still dial her phone just to hear her voice.

God Bless You My Friends,

Chris


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

I know how it feels to lose a Sister. I lost my Sis Bea with cancer of the brain, life really has never been the same. God Bless you. We will see them again.


azure_sky profile image

azure_sky 5 years ago from Somewhere on the Beach, if I am lucky :)

What a lovely tribute to your awesome Sister. I am so sorry for your loss. May she Rest In Peace, and may you hold her close to your heart until you meet again.

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