Forgetting The Past - Live Now And Beyond

WHY DO WE DWELL ON THE PAST?

All through our lives we do things that we will remember forever. Some of these things we did may not be worth remembering, and then there are those that we never want to let go of.

Forgetting the past, live now and beyond is what I am doing and suggest others do the same. Many times in life we do things that we are not proud of, but continue to dwell on those things for years after they have been done.

Dwelling on the past can really get the best of you and make your life miserable in the long run.

There is nothing we can do to fix what we had done in the past, so why do we continue to dwell on it? For myself, I dwell on the life I had as an alcoholic, even though in the past I thought I had no problem with drinking until I became sober in October of 2009.

Now I look back and dwell, beat myself up and remember some of the horrible things I said when I was drunk. I truly think of this all the time and I know I can't change the damage I caused, but I can indeed make my life better now and the lives of the ones I hurt while being addicted to alcohol.

MY MOM AND DAD

HERE IS MY MOM AND DAD WHEN THEY WERE SO HEALTHY.  I LOVE THEM AND MISS THEM SO MUCH.
HERE IS MY MOM AND DAD WHEN THEY WERE SO HEALTHY. I LOVE THEM AND MISS THEM SO MUCH. | Source

LIVING NOW AND BEYOND

Now is the time in your and mine life to live in the now and beyond, meaning lets try to forget the past, except for those great memories we had while growing as a child.

I have learned over the last few years that dwelling on bad things that happened in my past is not going to fix one thing, so why dwell on them anymore.

I am making good right now in my life, and making my wife and children proud of me for what I have accomplished over those years since I stopped drinking alcohol.

There is one other thing besides my addiction to alcohol that I continually dwell on, and that is the way my Mom had to die in her final days of life.

I tortured myself many times because I didn't listen to my moms final request, all because I was simply selfish and wanted to keep her around as long as I could.


FORGETTING YOUR OWN PAST

HAVE YOU EVER HAD SOMETHING THAT YOU CONTINUE DWELL ON THAT WAS NOT A GOOD THING THAT YOU DID?

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WE NEED TO LET GO OF THE PAST

We all need to let go of our bad past things we did and start living now and beyond. By reliving the past (bad things) we are wasting good days that we can be enjoying to the fullest.

As far as my addiction to alcohol, my family has forgiven me for what I put them through all those years I drank, but as far as my mom and her final days here on Earth I am finding hard to forget the selfish thing I did by letting her live longer when she wanted to die. It tears me apart many days that many people including my own wife doesn't know about.

It's a wonder I have never started drinking again, because that is what I used to do when my life went upside down. I went for the alcohol to hopefully fix everything. Over the years I have been sober I now know that alcohol fixes NOTHING, it only makes things worse.

I need to let go and start living now and not living in the past. I know for a fact that my mom would not agree with how I feel and would tell me, "it's okay Mark, let it go." She would NEVER hold it against me for what I did to save her.

Anyone would feel the same way as I did when it comes to a parent or any loved one that you don't want to see go to Heaven so soon.

The problem was and is that because of my selfishness to keep mom here longer made her go through unnecessary pain.

She signed a Living Will, but at that time is the Nursing Home and the second time in the Hospital when she coded, I didn't have that Living Will with me, so no matter what I said without it in my hands the Nursing Home and Hospital had to do all they could to save her and bring her heart back to life.

If I had that Living Will, they would of seen my moms final request in life in her own writing and would of obeyed what it said. So both institutions did the job that they were trained to do and that was to save lives, including my own moms life.


ME AND MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE BAYSIDE
ME AND MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE BAYSIDE | Source

LIVE LIFE NOW AND NOT IN THE PAST

  • Try and forget those bad things of your past and stop dwelling on them.
  • Always remember those great memories you had growing up, and keep them in your heart forever.
  • Stop torturing yourself on the bad things you did in the past.
  • Start living the life you were placed on this Earth to do.
  • Enjoy and treasure each moment of your life.
  • Learn to forgive and forget.
  • Learn to love all mankind.
  • Believe in yourself and love yourself before all else.
  • Remember we are all human and we all have made mistakes in life.
  • These mistakes are forgivable, and we all learn from each mistake we made.

HOW I CHANGED MY LIFE AND BEGAN TO THINK OF MY FUTURE AND NOT THE PAST

Everything I mentioned above did really bother me for years, but I have learned that dwelling on those things will not make anything better,, so I learned to forget and stop dwelling on them.

My wife and family have forgiving me for my addiction to alcohol and I know my mom has forgave me also, even though she was never mad by what I did. That is how I have to look at these things and start living my one and only life again.

So to rap it up, I would suggest if you are the kind of person that dwells on your past and they are not good things that you are dwelling on, try and forget and look forward to a bright and happy future ahead of you.

By doing so, I believe you will be much happier and alive again, meaning you will not torture yourself anymore as I did for years.

Lets face it, these past bad things we did will not be easy to forget, but for our own sanity we all have to let go and forget and start living again.

Lets start thinking in a positive way and start living life to the fullest. That is what I am doing and will continue to do for the rest of my life until the day I meet my creator and my parents once again.


HERE IS THE FINE LADY I MARRIED THAT FORGAVE ME OF MY PAST MISTAKES IN LIFE

THE OCEAN IS NOW MY HOME AND HERE I WRITE TO MY WIFE IN THE SAND OF THE BEACH.."I LOVE YOU LINDA"
THE OCEAN IS NOW MY HOME AND HERE I WRITE TO MY WIFE IN THE SAND OF THE BEACH.."I LOVE YOU LINDA" | Source

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8 comments

Michele Travis profile image

Michele Travis 3 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

Another great hub. Have not commented much, been away for a little while, but I do hope more people read this.

Thanks for writing this!

Michele


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 3 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Excellent message Mark! I have not had time to read a hub in months but I saw your post on FB and the title hit me - knowing I had to read it. So glad I did!


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Michele- It is so nice to hear from you again. miss you being around. Thanks you for your comment and for reading. I am glad you are back.

Mark


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Sharon - I am so glad you fond it on facebook. thank God for facebook right? Thanks for your kind words to. have a great rest of the weekend Sharon.

Mark


english-mike profile image

english-mike 3 years ago from England

Mark

I just have had a brilliant Holiday with my 8 year old daughter, she was worn out every night, we did beech pool arcades we did some shows at night, this is England so not the same fancy dan things you have over there. we loved it and as a single dad being sober had quite a few ladies coming on to me, but holiday was about dad and daughter. Life is good I have a new lady in my life, and come to think of it I have a new life. take care my friend


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Mike I am so sorry I haven't replied to your comment . I am so glad you had a great time with your daughter and that you are doing well. Congrats on your new lady Mike. That is wonderful and I wish you well. I am so happy for you and very proud of you as well.

Take care my friend and sorry it has been so long getting back to you.

Mark


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

A very good hub with practical advice and insight. much food for thought here. The past is done. Worrying and torturing yourself about it won't change a thing. All we can do is forgive, accept and move on. Just lessons learned.I agree with your points. Thank you for expressing your deepest feelings openly and honestly with the rest of us.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

lovedoctor926- hello my friend from sunny Florida :) Thanks so much for reading all my hubs and for commenting as well. Your kind words to me are very much appreciated. Have a wonderful rest of the week Marlene.

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