Get Rid of Stress and Worry

My Problem with Worry

I use to worry about everything, starting as soon as my eyes opened in the morning and lasting off and on throughout the day. It was like I was carrying a physical weight on my shoulders. Although I had some serious problems in my life at that time, the worry never accomplished anything.

I worried about my children, my bills, my parents, the house and most of all my impending divorce. The bulk of my “worry time” concerned tomorrow, as I had a lot of fear and did not know how to change the feeling of impending doom. My X-husband was volatile and threatening toward me, so my fears were legitimate, but it was still up to me to come up with solutions that were good for me and my children.

Worry Optional?

http://www.dejoost.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/be_bright_01.jpg
http://www.dejoost.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/be_bright_01.jpg

Mark Twain

Mark Twain said: My life has been filled with calamities, some of which actually happened.

Lessons I Learned

I don’t remember the name of the book I was reading, but it suggested that you write everything down you’re worried about and put it in a jar. Wait a week and open the jar. I did this and almost every worry had never happened. That didn’t cure me, put it did help put my life into a better perspective.

I began to realize that all my worry were affecting me physically. So, I did join a group support group. That helped me because I realized I wasn’t the only one living this way, and I made new friends that would tell me the straight truth. When I wanted sympathy, I could always call my mom and get the “poor baby” response, but when I wanted straight talk I discussed problems with a friend who was not so emotionally involved in my life.

Over time my problems started being sorted out, and I literally made a decision each morning that I was going to focus on just this day. I didn’t stop worrying immediately, but I was starting to sleep better.

Research Results

Most of the things we worry about never happen and now there is a research study that proves this point. It is not abnormal to have a few worries, such as being in college and getting ready to take a final exam. The University of Cincinnati did a pilot research on excessive worrying in adolescents between 12 and 17 years of age. They concluded that 85% of worries never happened. Additionally, of the 15% of the worries that did happen, 79% of the time they were surprised at their ability to handle the situations.

You Are Okay

Flicker
Flicker

Developing New Habits

They say it takes 30 days to develop a new habit. I don’t know if that is true, but being consistent with my new way to live sure made me feel better. I started trusting that little feeling in my tummy when making a decision. The result was I was trusting my instincts and making better decisions.

When we’re worried or are under stress, all we see are problems, but once we’ve quieted the brain, control will shift from the lower to the higher brain where creative intelligence kicks in. That is when we start to see solutions.

Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy

Happiness

Possible Physical Effects

Worrying has such a negative effect on your health as it makes you tired, stressed, speeds up and aging process, and it can make you more prone to depression.

Worry has the same physical effects as the way we respond to danger. So, what happens physically to your body when you are under stress?

  1. Your brain releases stress hormones, such as adrenalin and cortisol.
  2. Your heart rate increases.
  3. Your blood pressure rises.
  4. Your breathing rate increases and you perspire more.
  5. You become pale as the blood is diverted to your major organs.

Insomnia is another side effect of worry, as is loss of libido. Sometimes people become more absent-minded also. The physical effects of stress are hard on the body, and if you are living under a lot of stress it is time to make some changes.

Inner Reflection

Ways to Overcome Anxiety

Identify the anxiety source as understanding the anxiety, source will help you find a solution. Decide if there is something you can do about your problem. If it is an imagined fear, then it is time to make a conscious effort to forget about it. If there is an action your can take, then do not hesitate. Take the action, whether it means confronting an individual or making a plan as to how to get out of debt. You have to begin to take control of your life if your want relief.

Deal with one problemat a time.

Consider the worst possible outcome of your fear honestly before you panic or react without thinking through your actions. Thinking critically should always occur first as most problems can be solved in a reasonable manner.

Accept the fact that you can’t control other people, and you can’t know the future. Set boundaries as necessary. Make positive decisions that feel comfortable to you. Try to focus on the positive.

Summary

Obviously, no one likes to live being worried all the time. Life is too short to be stressed. There are solutions to most problems, even though they don’t always appear as quickly as we would like sometimes.

Be kind to yourself by eating healthy, getting enough sleep and exercising. Exercise is a great way to help relieve stress as it produces the healthy brain hormones. Watch a funny movies or go out with some enjoyable friends.

© 2014 Pamela Oglesby

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Comments 56 comments

Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Wonderful hub Pamela. I have always been a worrier. For instance if my wife is running late for an appointment, I stress out, even though it isn't me. I can't stand being late for instance. I am better than I used to be. I used to stress about the future and things I have no control over, but that is changing to some extent. I've found things usually have a way of working out. Good advice here, voted up.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

Good information, Pamela. I used to be a stress freak...now I'm on the other end of the spectrum...don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff. :)


Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 2 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

It's like you know me.

This Hub is like a breath of fresh air. I'm keeeping a link to it, so I can use it as a reference.

Thanks so much. This is a great gift.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Jodah, I hate being late also and my husband is worse than I am about that. I am glad you enjoyed the hub, and I appreciate your comments.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Billy, I had a friend that use to tell me that all the time, and it is the best way. Thanks for your comments.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Huntgoddess, I am glad this hub is helpful to you. Thanks so much for your comments.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Pam....Dear me, my fine lady....everything you have shared here is so very true!! I know this is solid, common sense advice and actually have come a long way since my younger days (raising kids) when I worried about every little thing. Terrible thing to do! I LOVE the opening photo and comment about how worry steals our PEACE.

It is wonderful to finally arrive at a place when we're wise enough to put things in their proper perspective.

Great Hub...Up+++ pinned & tweeted


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Paula, I think once we are past our childrearing days life is simpler. It is nice to be at a place where everything is not such a big deal. Thanks so much for your comments and I appreciate the tweet. Have a lovely rest of the weekend.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 2 years ago from Houston, Texas

I think that worrying about things is just a part of human nature to some extent. It is when it gets out of control that it becomes dangerous to our health and well being. Excellent article including tips on how to put it in perspective and deal with it. Happy to share this article all around.


ARUN KANTI profile image

ARUN KANTI 2 years ago from KOLKATA

I met a middle-aged lady recently in a hospital. Her complaints were very high pulse beat and accompanying pressure. After a thorough medical check up the physicians could not detect any other problems except her unusual tension all the time. So your well written hub should be an eye opener to those suffering from worries for nothing. Thank you for sharing.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 2 years ago from Arlington, TX

Nice Hub Pamela. Dang for a minute there I thought Obama might be resigning.

TFP


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Peggy, I think we all worry about a few things, and I agree that when it is out of control the physical factors are of concern. Thanks so much for your comments and the share.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Arun, I have seen people like that in the hospital when I was working as a nurse. Some people just see doom and gloom it seems. I hope this hub does help someone. Thanks for sharing your comments.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Jim, Love you sense of humor. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.


incomeguru profile image

incomeguru 2 years ago from Lagos

Wonderful hub Pamela, well composed and well written. Being worried too much can never bring out good result but failure. Thanks for this eye opening content.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 2 years ago from london

A loving and beautifully written article with much sensitivity. I will pass this on.


JY3502 profile image

JY3502 2 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

Hi Pam, long time no see. Great Hub as always. I no longer write hubs since I started writing for a local church. Over 800 hubs was enough. I haven't been able to write anyway, up til now. I just came out of major surgery about 2 months ago. I am now officially disabled. But I still read hubs sometimes...however I don't offer writing advice anymore. LOL. You take care sweety.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Incomeguru, Yes, I fully agreee. I appreciate your comments.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

manatita, Thank you so much for the kind comments as they are much appreciated,. I appreciate the share also.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

JY, I am so glad you stopped by as I don't write often enough anymore. I am glad to hear you are writing with the church. I would also say over 800. hubs is a substantial contribution. I am sorry to hear you are officially disabled, but hope you are having as full a life as possible. I wish you the best alwaysl


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

It is great to be a place in life when we can control our worries. I think we realize finally how short life is and why waste it on worries? Just live for the day. Great article. ^


always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

Boy, i sure needed this reminder today. My stress level has been on the rise since buying my new home, instead of downsizing i upsized. So much more to take care of. I made the move and i will survive, but a lesson learned. I know stress is a killer. I find when i'm stressed to the max, i meditate and that helps tremendously. You have listed some great tips. The inner reflection video was spot on. Thank you..


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

This is a very useful hub, Pamela. I need to take some of your advice! Thank you for sharing your tips for dealing with worry.


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

Stress can really do a number on you, for sure. I try not to stress too much. There's always a solution to every problem. Once we realize that and go about implementing those solutions, we can enjoy life.

Great advice, Pamela!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Jackie, You make a good point. Life is too short. I think "Just live for the day" is the best attitude. I appreciate your comments.


JY3502 profile image

JY3502 2 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

Pam, doing OK, I've also learned to avoid stress and confrontation wherever possible. I'm not able to handle it anymore. But let others worry about the world situation, we know how the story ends. I'm planning to go to all the places I wanted to, but didn't have the chance. That's not many seeing I was a military brat, lol. And thanks for all your well wishes.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Ruby, Congrats on your new home. I imagine you will get it organized over time, so it will be less of a worry. Meditation is a great way to relieve stress, and I probably should have written more about it in my hub. Thanks so much for your comments.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Alicia, I am glad you found this hub helpful. Thanks so much for your comments.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

I like the worry jar, that just might work! For me, confining worry to certain times of the day has been helpful. I tell myself, "I won't think about that until..." and I give myself a time limit. Usually, I am able to successfully procrastinate the worry until it is gone, and it no longer is troublesome to me.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 2 years ago from The Caribbean

Thank you for exploring the effects and the solution to worry. Very practical. I have to try going out more. Voted Up!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Shaunna, i agree with you completely. Even when it looks like there isn't a solution things always have a way of working out. Thanks for your comments.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

JY, We do know how the story ends. Enjoy your travels. I would love to do the same and hope to when the time is right. You're welcome.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Denise, I would think setting up a time limit would help also. Thanks for sharing that tip.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Ms Dora, I'm glad you enjoyed the hub and getting out more will probably be healthy for you. Thanks for your comments.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago

This is a very important piece, Pamela. I can be quite the worrier, but I am learning to live each day one at a time. I keep repeating that I can't change the past and I can't predict the future. Up, useful, interesting and awesome.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Patty, Those are two important things to repeat and get ingrained in your thinking. It is so easy to worry about problems and it isn't an easy habit to break either. Thanks so much for your comments and the ratings.


connieow profile image

connieow 2 years ago from El Cajon, CA

Thank you for those great tips and reminders. I tend to wallow. :) This is a great article and will be sharing it with my readers, followers, and friends.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Connie, I am glad you found this article useful. Thanks for your comments and the shares.


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 2 years ago from West Virginia

Yes, deal with one problem at a time. Most times if you deal with stress that way other things tend to take care of themselves. I hemmed and worried and stressed out about starting my book here on HP and was stressing over what others might do or say to me...mostly family members, but then came the thought. Most of my family members do not even read my stuff. It is my story too and then the thought came too about all of this...things happen for a reason and just maybe this is the time for it to be told. Then again maybe my dad is letting or guiding me to doing it. So I stopped stressing over it all and the fear is subsiding. You have a wonderful article here. I am going to share it.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Lady Guinevere, I am glad you went for it with your book. It obviously makes you feel good about making that decision. Good for you. Thanks so much for your comments.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

Seems like worry is increasing with all the issues present in today's world. Your advice will help people to realize worry is not profitable. I like your suggestion to tackle it one by one. Good reading.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Diana, I think you are probably right as all these things affect us. Thanks so much for your comments.


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Thank you Pamela for challenging us to worry less and be healthy. I know sometimes my brain goes on overload, and it is time to slow down and enjoy life. Ideas like yours can make us all better individuals. Pamela, thank you for your own issues that you shared to make it a better hub. Your writing and examples help everyone. Sharing. Blessings, Audrey


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States Author

Audrey, I am so glad that you feel that way and that maybe the hub helped you. I appreciate your comments very much. Have a great weekend.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 19 months ago from sunny Florida

Learning to quit worrying has been an on going process for me. Once I realized I was missing so many precious moments by trying to control something that may never happen

My life and thinking turned around.

And worry is in my rearview mirror for the most part.

Well expressed, Pamela, as usual voted up and shared

Angels are on the way to you this morning. ps


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 19 months ago from United States Author

Patricia, It worked that way for me also. I had to consciously make a choice to turn lose of things I could not control. I do appreciate your comments as always. Thanks for the angels, and I'm sending some back to you. God bless.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 19 months ago from Orlando, FL

Amen, Pamela! Such great advice. I also appreciate my gut feeling, it hasn't steered me wrong yet.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 19 months ago from london

Excellent, healthy and wholesome article with good suggestions for overcoming worry. Beautiful video.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 19 months ago from Nashville Tn.

My sister, bless her heart, is a big-time worrier. I've about given up on helping her because she doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say. I wish she would read your good hub on this subject. How does the old saying go? "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."

I love her so much and it hurts me that she could be happy if she simply followed the advice you give here. Voted up and sharing. Audrey


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 19 months ago from California

What a great article on the subject!! I love the idea of only working on one problem at a time!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 19 months ago from United States Author

Linda, At one point in my life I didn't trust that feeling at all as I made some bad decisions. Life is so much better now and that gut feeling is always right.Thanks for your comments.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 19 months ago from United States Author

manatita, I am glad you enjoyed the video and hub. Thank you so much for your comments.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 19 months ago from United States Author

Audry, That horse saying is sure true. We are going throught that with my step-daughter right now, and if is a helpless feeling. I hope your sister will start listening to you in the near future, as misery is only an option. we can choose to be happy. Thanks for the comments and the share.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 19 months ago from United States Author

Audry, That does make life much simpler. I appreciate your comments.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 17 months ago from Arkansas, USA

I worry too much. It's hard to let go. I do like the jar idea!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 17 months ago from United States Author

Victoria, That jar really did help me, and I used it for a few weeks. I don't worry very often anymore, thank goodness. It seems like everything usually works out for the best, just not in my time frame! Thanks for your comments.

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