How Long Is Too Long When You're Holding On?

Some people hold on for a breakthrough to progress, despite difficult challenges. We admire their faith.

Some hold on to seemingly hopeless situations. We wonder at their folly, especially when they create the situations themselves.

Why is it so difficult to choose between the freedom that comes with contentment and the misery that comes with a life of endless struggle? The table below offers suggestions to guide the decision.

How long is too long for expectations to elude me?

Photo by George Hodan
Photo by George Hodan | Source

1) Relationships

Stop holding on
Keep holding on
You do not feel loved and appreciated. Disrespect toward you takes away your desire to show respect. Verbal and emotional abuse is part of the regular conversation. You serve and get trampled upon. Holding on to a relationship like this is suicidal. When you get accustomed to being dehumanized, you become a walking dead.
Relationships are worth keeping if they affirm your strengths and add zest to your life. Love and respect are mutual, and each promotes the interest of the other. There will be disagreements and misunderstandings; but clarity comes with honest communication. Practice tolerance, patience and forgiveness. Hold on to the good in the relationship and help each other grow.

2) Promises

Stop holding on
Keep holding on
Most times, promises in friendly or business relationships are contractual; you play a part toward the fulfillment of the promise. You keep your end of the bargain, but instead of your reward, you are presented with plausible excuses. When this happens repeatedly, you enable the other person in deception, and you become a perpetual dupe.
Goal setting is advisable in every area of life. You pledge an amount of effort which corresponds to the goals you set yourself, and you expect people who promise to support you to keep their word. Set against a pattern of habitual honesty, cooperation and dependability, one missed deadline or unfulfilled goal can be forgiven. When there is an established foundation of trust, it is wise to hold on.

3) Habits

Stop holding on
Keep holding on
Habitually late, you still despise the punctual coworker who gets the promotion. You get speeding tickets monthly, but you fret at the insurance premium increase. You abuse drugs and alcohol, but you curse when the doctor prescribes liver treatment. Defending bad habits is your way of saying that you will hang on even if they kill you socially or literally.
“I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time” (Charles Dickens). Dickens took note of what worked for him. Pay attention to the habits which work for you. Try new habits you learn from other people. Formulate your creed. Stick with the habits which make you most productive.

How long is too long for me to wait?

Photo by George Hodan
Photo by George Hodan | Source

4) Emotions

Stop holding on
Keep holding on
Negative emotions like guilt, anger, resentment and hate disturb your health equilibrium. These emotions cause chronic headache, backache, skin rashes, high blood pressure and even worse illnesses. “Negative emotions left unattended breed greater mental or emotional problems. This often results in sickness and sometimes death” (Gilead Institute of America).
Have you noticed that people give up on healthy emotions sooner than on the negative? Give a gift; generally, you get a one-time expression of thanks. Disappoint someone; you hear complaints as often as possible. The same way negative emotions cause physical problems, healthy emotions cause physical wellness. Here is a popular quote: "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Prov. 17:22.

5) Finances

Stop holding on
Keep holding on
Your monthly credit card charges are more than your monthly payments; but how else can you pay the gym and the beauty parlor? No used car for you to give the impression that you are less financially able than your friends. You invest in every rich-quick scheme introduced to you. The longer you build your fake financial image, the more you lose when it comes crashing down.
You have dreams of the financial health status you would like to achieve, and you made your plan. You don’t have to be as inventive as Bill Gates; but you have to be as committed to your strategy. The flexibility of the job markets and income opportunities may initiate reasons for adjustments, but keep on learning and adopting new skills. Keep your purpose in mind and keep working your strategy even when you feel discouraged.

6) Self-Image

Stop holding on
Keep holding on
To avoid dealing with all the problems you create for yourself, you create a false sense of self. You look in the mirror and lie to your face about what you have and what you can do. But you really cannot lie about who you are. The longer the internal conflict in your subconscious, the stronger the enslavement of your true self.
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are" (John Wooden). You character influences your attitude, your habits, your relationships and your potential. Always obey the urge to be true to yourself—your faith and your integrity. If you lose character, there is not much of anything else to keep.

How Long Is Too Long before You Make Up Your Mind?

The choice is yours, but you’re taking too long to decide if the following situations already exist:

  • Your gut feeling already tells you what the outcome will be. Make a move.
  • What you’re holding onto is destroying you (with chronic stress). Let go.
  • What you're holding onto is empowering you (with good results). Go for it!


Spiritual Application

“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble.” Psalm 91: 14 (MSG)

Barnes Notes on the word translated "hold on to" in the Message Version explains, "The Hebrew word expresses the strongest attachment, and is equivalent to our expression - 'to fall in love.' "

There are some people and circumstances to which we hold on, even though it is clear that holding on does not serve our interest. They do not deserve the energy and the trust we pour into them. Stop holding on to them.

God is One we can hold on to forever. He loves us first, always and unconditionally. No matter who else fails, still keep holding on to God and trust Him with your life.

More by this Author


44 comments

Carola Finch profile image

Carola Finch 3 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Interesting hub. I really like the way you laid out the info. Well done. Voted up.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thank you Carola. I appreciate your comment and your support.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

I love the way your mind works, Dora, and you are improving as a write before our very eyes. Well done!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Bill, coming from you, this comment makes my day--and my night. Thanks to your teaching by instruction and by example.


rose-the planner profile image

rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

This is brilliant! I thought this article was very insightful and I really enjoyed the two lists you provided for both "Stop Holding On" and "Keep Holding On". Thank you for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose


Rayne123 3 years ago

Amazing hub for those in a relationship for sure and what a beautiful song by such an icon with an amazing voice.

Its so sad what happened to such a big icon.

Beautiful hub

Blessings

Laurie


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Rose, thank you for your encouraging comment and thank you for sharing.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Rayne, glad you found the article amazing. I appreciate you letting me know your thoughts.


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Hold On: How Long Is Too Long interesting about this topic because people do create their own situations you are either holding on or get out that holding on situation or don't put yourself in that situation. You have created a useful and a well presented hub.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks DDE. I appreciate your encouragement.


sheilamyers 3 years ago

As always, your hub is inspirational. It's great how you make the comparisons between what is good and bad as well as give the explanations about why.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thank you Sheila. You encourage me.


epbooks profile image

epbooks 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

Great the way that you explained these and I'm sure we can all recognize each category. Nice job!


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

This is a great explanation of how to get rid of self-defeating behaviors and replace them with positive ones. Very well done! The side-by-side affect is powerful.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

EP, thank you for reading and commenting.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Denise, thanks for your input. You summarize the article very well.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Wow MsDora,

Another excellent and insightful hub here. Yes, the One and only who can truly fill that empty hole inside all of us, for He is the Only one who truly satisfies. Even if we are in a healthy love relationship, the One is still what will be missing.

Up and move and sharing

God bless you, Faith Reaper


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Excellent hub. I really like your work


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

Msdora who would think to put out hubs like this amazing awesome AND USEFUL!!!!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Faith, thanks for your comment. You're right. No matter what we need to hold on to God.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, LoveDoc. You really encourage me.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Frank, pleased that you like the article. Your comments mean much coming from an expert artist like you.


Ann1Az2 profile image

Ann1Az2 3 years ago from Orange, Texas

Amen, MsDora! God is our rock and our refuge!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

You said it, Ann! Thanks for reading and commenting.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

Wise words MsDora, and yes we do hold onto things that we should put in the past, and grip hold of those positive things and emotions, wonderfully put, voted up and shared! nell


Mackinreviews profile image

Mackinreviews 3 years ago from Las Vegas

Great hub! Thank you for sharing. The battle between what the heart feels and what the mind thinks is a never ending one, and it is always hard to come up with a decision when your feelings are involved in any way. Deciding to let go or hold on will always be and I am pretty sure always will be one of those great, age old problems everyone faces in their lifetime. This was a great read, thank you!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thank you, Nell. Encouraged that you see wisdom in my words.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Mack, I appreciate your input. Thank you for stopping by.


ComfortB profile image

ComfortB 3 years ago from Bonaire, GA, USA

Though waiting too long may make the heart weary, knowing that good things come to those who wait should give us the courage to hold on, because help is on the way.

The bible says, "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

And as the good book always says, "It - shall come to pass".

Great hub. Enjoyed reading. Voted useful.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Comfort B, thanks for your input. It is really good to hear from you!


HattieMattieMae profile image

HattieMattieMae 3 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

I guess you did cover it! Well done!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thank you, Hattie Mattie. I appreciate your comment.


poetforlife profile image

poetforlife 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas.

Another great hub MsDora and it is so needed. Your articles are so insightful and full of wisdom.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Poet, thank you for your kind and sweet comment. Such a pleasure to know you!


Ebonny profile image

Ebonny 3 years ago from UK

Your "How Long is Too Long?" section is particularly worthy of note. Thank you for writing all of this.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Glad that I wrote something you like, Ebonny. Thank you for your comment.


dellea 3 years ago

Very encouraging MsDora!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Dellea, thank you stopping by and making a comment. I appreciate you.


Romeos Quill profile image

Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

A great comparative list you've compiled MsDora, and can personally attest to your Psalm 91:14 passage as being totally truthful when exercised in faith.....sure miss Whitney, but her music will live forever....

Have a wonderful day,

With Kindest Regards,

R.Q.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Romeas, great day to you, too. Thank you for your very kind input on this article.


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 3 years ago from West Virginia

MsDora, very powerful and inspirational article. I love that Bible quote, it's so uplifting. This is something that we can all relate to. We've all see our shares of ups and downs, hanging on to things for to long and holding for dear life on others. Very informed article and great advice, one of the best I've read about this subject. Well done, voted up, useful, awesome, beautiful, and interesting.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

LyricWriter, I appreciate your vey kind comment. Thank you for your valuable input.


mathira profile image

mathira 3 years ago from chennai

The list was amazing MsDora, you have almost touched all aspects of life.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Mathi, thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate your support.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working