Ten Things My Kids Do That Drive Me Crazy
Rip Van Winkle Weekends
Here's what my thoughts are during the week about the upcoming weekend: "Maybe we'll go to Cracker Barrel and have breakfast and then go over to Tanglewood Park and take a long walk", "It'll be a great weekend for gardening", "That new movie is out this weekend; we could all go see it together". You get the picture.
Here's what really happens: I try to get my kids up at 10 a.m. See how long I waited? 10 a.m.! That's late! Half the morning is gone. Now I have a choice, because I've tried all this before and I know how it goes. I can a) make them get up, b) bribe them to get up and c) leave them alone. When I make them get up, they grumble all day long. Miserable for all involved. When I bribe them, it has to be a bribe that they want to do and it has to be a good one to get them up. Like "we'll go to the mall for the afternoon". I'm not doing that! Might as well be a Monday if you have to spend hours at the mall. Lately, I've been opting for c) leave them alone.
Letting them sleep has advantages. The house is quiet. They aren't eating you out of house and home. However, it's the weekend! I want to see the kids and do stuff with them! Here's what I realized. The kids no longer want to do stuff with me. Some of you already know this. I resisted the truth of this for awhile.
In order to make me feel better about my kids sleeping half the day, I've done lots of reading on the circadian rhythm of teenagers. Thankfully, research tells us that they DO need lots of sleep. So I'm just going to leave this one alone. Sleep all day, I don't care! I don't, I really don't!
Drop Everything on the Floor the Minute They Walk in the Door
My teenagers walk in the door from school and drop everything on the floor. Bookbags, lunch boxes, even jackets. What the heck? They know better! They never did that before! What on earth? I taught them to hang up their jackets when they were toddlers! Does the first thing out of my mouth in the afternoon have to be "put your stuff away"?
Yep, I guess it does.
You Are Not a Valley Girl
I know kids have been doing this for a decade, but it still drives me crazy - overuse and incorrect usage of the word "like". Are we still being valley girls after all these years? I correct them to no avail. Apparently, I just have to, like, get used to this and hope they, like, grow out of it. Maybe meditation will help me. Or yoga. Or ear plugs.
The Decibel Level
The music that my kids listen to is just awful. Really, it is. The lyrics are almost unrecognizable as English, except for the profanity. Let's don't even think about that, or I'll never reach the zen state that I aspire to. But at least we could keep the music to a level that is safe for my eardrums. I turn it down, they turn it up. We continue this way until I screech "IT'S TOO LOUD!!! DO NOT TOUCH THE VOLUME AGAIN!!".
Fickle About Attire
My teenager loves, loves, loves a shirt or jeans she sees in the mall. We buy it, she wears it. Then something happens. The love affair is over. The aforementioned article of clothing is now too loose, too tight, too short, too long, the wrong color, the wrong brand, something. Just not enough patience in the world for that...
Tasmanian Devil Housekeeping
Remember how the Tasmanian devil spun around like a tornado on the Bugs Bunny cartoons? That is what it looks like in my teenagers' rooms. Before they can do anything on the weekend, they have to clean their rooms. But you don't want to go in there on Monday morning, because somehow it is completely trashed again.
Did I Mention the Cell Phone?
I wonder why I bought my children cell phones. What was I thinking?
When I take my kids' cell phones away from them as a consequence for bad behavior, they say things like "now I can't ask my friend about our homework assignment" or "I won't have any friends if I can't text them". Not that those excuses illicit any sympathy on my part, but why won't they use the landline? I wonder about this. They simply are not going to call anyone. Texting okay, talking not okay.
There's No Food in this House
I hear this every few days "there's no food in this house!". There was. You guys ate it all. Every two to three days, my stocked pantry is wiped clean of anything vaguely snackable. And by the way, there is plenty of FOOD, but not plenty of junk food.
I admit that this item on my list of ten things that my kids do that drive me crazy is probably influenced by the fact that they can eat whatever they want without gaining a pound.
Why Do They Think I am Technologically Challenged?
My kids seem to think that because personal computers were not popular until I was in college, I know nothing about them. I've used every operating system from MS-DOS to Microsoft Vista! I have a degree in electrical engineering! Just ask one naïve question like "What is Instagram" and you'll be forever seen as less than competent.
What do your kids do that drive you crazy? Let me know!
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