How To Get What You Want

So many times I have heard friends, relatives, coworkers, and fellow students in my classrooms, say they would like to do this or have that, but they do not know how to get what it is they want. Often they lament that they will probably never get whatever it is they want, or never get to do whatever it is they want to do.

Hard work and diligence will sometimes accomplish one’s purpose, but more often than one might think, simply asking the right person in the right way will move things along more quickly, in the direction you want to go.

Think about what you want. What is the worst thing that will happen if you ask someone for help or advice and he or she refuses? Will that person point at you and laugh because you dared to ask? Probably not. Will they give you a cream pie in the face? Most likely not. Will they clear their desk off (if they’re sitting at one) with one swoop of their arm, angry that you are daring to waste their time? Not likely.

Might they say no to your request? That could happen. Can you handle that if they say no? Or will you go home and cry yourself to sleep? Will you eat 3 gallons of ice cream and gain 5 pounds if they say no? Will you step in front of a truck and end it all if they say no? Hopefully you will be adult about it and think of someone else you can ask for help or advice if they say no.

Remember, they might say yes! You might be surprised at how often that happens when people are asked in a serious, respectful way, for their reasonable help.

Often All You Have to Do Is Ask

This is so true!
This is so true! | Source

Your Thoughts and Attitude Influence the Outcome, So THINK POSITIVE!

Start off by not assuming you already know what the outcome of your plight and/or request will be -- especially if you are convinced your request will be turned down.

If you have already made up your mind that you will be denied whatever you are asking for, you will emit negative energy. That negative energy will affect the outcome of your request. It will be communicated in a million different ways through your attitude and body language without your even realizing it.

Just as you are what you eat, it is even truer that you are what you think. Thoughts are very powerful, so for best results, make your thoughts positive and optimistic even when everything seems to be against you. Yes, not so easy. Been there, done that, so I know just how difficult that can be, but for best results, you must control your outlook.

Perseverance Can Make The Difference

The Squeaky wheel gets the grease. Have you ever heard that idiom? It isn’t 100% true, but perhaps only 96% or so true. Good enough. There may be many different people who can help you obtain what you want, so don’t stop squeaking because the first person, or even the second or third persons you asked, turned you down.

Many of the people we consider successful today got where they are because they did not give up. Not because they are the most talented. Not because they are the most skilled. Not because they are the most intelligent. All of these attributes are good to have and will hopefully make your goal easier to achieve, but by themselves they are unlikely to get you what you want.

Most people who are successful today are in that position because they did not give up. They did not let the word no discourage them, or cause them to stop trying -- at least not indefinitely. They did not give up no matter how tough the going got.

Everyone gets discouraged sometimes, but the trick is not to dwell on that discouragement to the point where you cannot function or move forward. Get that gallon of your favorite ice cream, wallow in your self pity for a couple of hours, enjoy the ice cream, get a good night’s sleep, and then get up and start again. Be determined and relentless in your pursuit.

Do you know how many times Stephen King submitted his first manuscript (Carrie) to publishers and received rejections in return? So many that he simply says it was dozens of times. Dozens! It took several years for him to get published, but look where he is today. He is not alone. Lots of people, not only writers, but people in all different fields, have had to keep trying for long periods of time, receiving rejection after rejection, before they finally received a yes.

It used to be that a sales person had to knock on an average of 20 doors before s/he would make a sale. There was no guarantee that sale would be behind the 20th door. It could happen that 5 sales would be made on the 96th through the 100th doors, but only if the sales person did not give up before getting to those doors. That is what the law of averages means. On average, 5% (5 out of 100 or 1 in 20, etc.) of people asked will respond positively -- or maybe 20% (20 out of 100). Whatever the percentage, you may have to knock on a lot of doors before you get to the one that will say yes. Can you handle all that rejection if it comes to that, and keep going?

Source
Source

Simple Requests Are More Often Granted

Most people want simple things. Would you be able to babysit for me on Christmas Day? Can I park my car in your driveway instead of in the street while I’m away on vacation? Would it be OK if I brought my child with me because I haven’t been able to get a babysitter? Could you lower the price on this item since one of the seams has come apart and needs repair? Would you take a dollar for this item instead of 2 (yard sale)? My car is getting repaired, could you please give me a ride to work tomorrow? Would it be OK if I traded shifts with a coworker because this schedule is inconvenient for me?

It is usually easier to get a yes from people for simple favors than for major requests like a job, or a contribution to a charity, etc. So if your request is for something more than a simple favor, be prepared to work harder to accomplish your goal.

If You Do Not Ask You Fail Even Before You Try

While you may receive a “no” sometimes when you ask for things, you will definitely not get a yes if you do not ask in the first place. If you can handle the word no without a great deal of drama, or trauma, go for it. Whatever it is, ask for it. Keep asking until you find someone who will say yes. It could be that you will get a yes from the very first person you ask. It could happen – but only if you ask in the first place.

Or maybe you need that yes from a particular person. Do not assume you know any person so well that you know in advance what they are going to say, or be willing to do for you. As previously stated, if you do not ask, you are saying no to yourself without even attempting a yes from the person in question. If you can take no for an answer from that particular person without seriously contemplating suicide, then you have nothing to lose by asking -- and the possibility of a yes to gain.

© 2011 C E Clark

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Comments 66 comments

Au fait profile image

Au fait 18 months ago from North Texas Author

Bobby! (Diogenes) Thank you for stopping by! Glad to see you're still full of piss and vinegar. Cabo is in Mexico. Too far for me in my old age. I don't even like to travel here in the states anymore. Like I told Paul in a comment, I'm allergic to animals and all the motels and hotels let them in now and so I'm sick as soon as I stay in one of their rooms because they don't even try to get the hair and dander out.

I'm like you in that I don't like to owe anyone anything either. I would die before asking anyone for help. Hope you're keeping well. Take care . . . CC xx


Au fait profile image

Au fait 18 months ago from North Texas Author

Peachpurple, thank you for coming by and reading/commenting on this article. If one doesn't try one is all but guaranteed to fail in getting whatever it is they want. If one tries, there is at least a chance they will succeed. If you can handle "NO," then you have nothing to lose by asking and giving it your best shot.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 18 months ago from North Texas Author

TIMETRAVELER2, to be sure a willingness to take risks is important. Thank you for reading/commenting, and for the vote! Sometimes a person's biggest obstacle is their own fear.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 18 months ago from UK and Mexico

Well, I waited three years! I'll just have to take someone else to Cabo!

Seriously, I dislike asking anyone for anything. I would sooner pay for favours, then I don't feel obligated to return them. Of course, I lived in Mexico for many years and it was easier to pay for help there where a few bucks meant so much more than in high-priced Europe and the USA.

R x


Au fait profile image

Au fait 18 months ago from North Texas Author

Paul Kuehn, thank you for commenting and for all the votes and sharing on FB and with followers. You seemed to have had a very successful life so you are ahead of the game to compared to a lot of people. Are you sure it's too late to seek whatever it was you regret?


peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 18 months ago from Home Sweet Home

You did make some useful points there. If you don't try, you don't know the outcome


TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

TIMETRAVELER2 18 months ago

The key to this is overcoming your fears. If you can do that, you can own the world! Great hub and voted up.


Paul Kuehn profile image

Paul Kuehn 18 months ago from Udorn City, Thailand

Au Fait, I had to revisit this hub because it is so useful for anyone to read. I was always taught by my mother to ask because you will receive. One of my regrets in life is giving up and not showing enough perseverance in going after something. Voted up as awesome and extremely useful. I'm sharing this with HP followers and friends on Facebook.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 2 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you Indian Chef for reading, commenting, voting on, and tweeting/sharing this article!


Indian Chef profile image

Indian Chef 3 years ago from New Delhi India

Motivation and determination are most important things i feel. This is very good hub, voting it up and awesome and sharing it on twitter and on hubpages.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

vertualit, thank you for commenting. I hope this article will be helpful to you.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you HappyMikeWritter for stopping by. I hope this hub will inspire you to succeed at all good things. Thank you for the compliment!


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you sgbrown, for reading, sharing, voting, and sharing your thoughts on this subject!


vertualit profile image

vertualit 3 years ago from Bangladesh

Useful article. thanks for sharing..


HappyMikeWritter profile image

HappyMikeWritter 3 years ago

This is just what I need it to read. Thank you for sharing this article. is owesome!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

You should never assume that the answer to your request is going to be negative, but first be sure it is a reasonable request. Like you said, they are probably not going to laugh in your face or yell at you. As it is said, "You never know unless you ask". Most people want to be helpful. Your attitude has a great deal to do with the outcome of your request. If you approach someone with a negative attitude, you will probably get a negative result. You're exactly right, your body language and attitude can affect your outcome. This is great information, voting up, useful and sharing! :)


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you Taleb80 for stopping by and taking a minute to comment and share.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Moonlake, thank you for reading, commenting, and sharing this article! Expect you were brought up like me never to ask for anything no matter what. Sometimes people are happy to be of help; especially to help a person who has often been of help to them in the past. Everyone needs some help sometimes and so often what is needed is something small, so asking shouldn't be an issue in that case. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!


Taleb80 profile image

Taleb80 3 years ago

Reading this hub is a pleasure. Thanks for sharing.


moonlake profile image

moonlake 3 years ago from America

Enjoyed your hub. I'm not good at asking for what I want but I believe you should ask. Voted up and shared.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you rasta1 for reading and commenting on this hub and for adding your perspective!


rasta1 profile image

rasta1 3 years ago from Jamaica

Asking politely is the first key. Dealing with rejection positively is important too.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you Peggy W for reading, commenting, voting and sharing this hub! Appreciate you sharing your good advice too!


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you for commenting Shyron! I hope you're never 'down,' but I'm glad if this hub can raise your spirits should that be necessary.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you maggs224 for reading, commenting, and voting on this hub! Thank you especially for your high praise regarding my writing ability. I'm glad you enjoyed this article and found it useful.


maggs224 profile image

maggs224 3 years ago from Sunny Spain

An excellent hub which I have enjoyed reading very much.

I really like your style of writing as I find it so easy to read and to follow and of course my experience has been enhanced by happening to agree with what you have written.

It is a very encouraging inspirational and informative hub well worth reading and very useful. I will be voting this hub up and hitting the relevant buttons on my way out Magg :D


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you rajan jolly for reading, commenting, and voting on this hub, and for sharing your experience on this subject!


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 3 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Very motivating and something to which I not only agree but strive to be at all times. I have seen positivity work innumerable times for me. And to achieve anything one must always be ready to give a shot to whatever one wants and keep at it.

Voted up, awesome.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 3 years ago from Houston, Texas

This hub is definitely worth sharing and spreading the word about this subject. Just think about how many unsuccessful inventions Edison did before perfecting the ones he is well known for today. Persistence pays! If one is paralyzed by rejection, one will never advance much in one's life pursuits. Up, useful and sharing!!!


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you Paul Kuehn for reading, commenting, voting, and especially sharing and pinning this hub! Very much appreciate your insights as well. It is important to be persistent. Once rejected it's so easy to give up, but one must find determination somewhere and keep trying. I have heard that it isn't the smartest people or the hardest working people who most often succeed, but those people who are determined and refuse to give up.


Paul Kuehn profile image

Paul Kuehn 3 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

Aufait,

Your hub is very useful and so very true in life. My mother used to say to me, "Ask and you shall receive." As you mentioned, many people are afraid to ask for fear of rejection. If you are rejected the first time you ask, you must be persistent and not give up. In looking back over my life, I think I could have been more successful if I would have kept asking and not so easily given up. One time at the urging of my mother I asked my Congressman for assistance on an immigration matter. To my surprise, he didn't hesitate and helped me resolve the matter with the old Immigration and Naturalization Service. Voted up as very useful and sharing with followers and on Facebook. Also Pinning


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago

voting you UAI, great hub! I read this when I feel down.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

I'm hoping this hub will help people achieve their dreams and/or get help if they need it. Thank you Shyron for dropping by!


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas Author

vibesites, thank you for taking time to comment on this hub! Attitude and determination can accomplish amazing things!


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago

This still inspires me, no matter how many times I read it.


vibesites profile image

vibesites 3 years ago from United States

Yes, determination is one of the keys! Thanks for your wonderful points. Voted up and useful. :)


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you for stopping by Shyron!


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

allelsematters, thank you for reading and commenting on my hub! If one makes an effort to help others in need as much as one is able, people are also far more willing to be helpful in return.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you for reading and commenting on this hub, Ebonny!

Be ready to help anyone who needs it when you can and those same random good deeds will come back to you!


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you A r F for reading and commenting on this hub! It need not be a favor. Sometimes what you're asking for will benefit more than just yourself. Remember to help others who need it as often as you can and that will help you feel better about asking for help when You need it. We're all in this together. Always remember the people who helped you along the way and be prepared to return that favor.


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 4 years ago

I will keep your hub on my desktop for when I need it.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you Shyron! This strategy for getting what you want works more often than one might expect.


allelsematters profile image

allelsematters 4 years ago from Philippines

This is so true, i usually get scared when asking for something but eventually i over come it and by being honest, i got what i want..hehe :)

great blog by the way..:)


Ebonny profile image

Ebonny 4 years ago from UK

Great hub - I particularly liked the part about not making an assumption that your request will be denied. Oh so simple but oh so very true. Don't ask: don't get.

Thumbs up and more.


A r F profile image

A r F 4 years ago

I struggle with asking other people for favors all the time, but often people are really flattered when you ask for help because it makes them feel useful and needed.


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 4 years ago

Encouraging, and awesome. Voting you up and awesome, great advice!


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Millionaire Tips, thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving such a wise comment on this hub!


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

This is a very thought provoking and inspirational article. I love the quote "you are what you think." It is so true that we wind up saying no to ourselves without even asking the other person and throwing the opportunity away to get a yes. Voted up.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment!


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Well said! Thanks for the follow! Your welcome for the comment!

JSMatthew~


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Brett.Tesol: So often it's true, that all you have to do is ask! Thanks for commenting.

J.S. Matthew: Sometimes just asking is all it takes. You never know 'til you try! Thanks for commenting.


chamilj profile image

chamilj 4 years ago from Sri Lanka

This is very true. I have have my own experience. Voted up for this useful article. Thanks sharing!


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Interesting title! This is great advice. We have to know what we want, how to get it, then go out and get it! Voted up!

Thanks for SHARING!

JSMatthew~


Brett.Tesol profile image

Brett.Tesol 4 years ago from Somewhere in Asia

Voted up and useful, great advice. As pops always says, "If you don't ask, you don't get" lol.

Thanks for SHARING.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you Nell, for taking time from what I know is a very busy schedule, to read and comment on my hub. Sometimes people can surprise you. I've always said, even when it wasn't a matter of asking for help, even if it's a goal or a dream, think what will be the worst possible outcome, and if you can handle whatever that is, go for it.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi, you are so right! I used to call myself 'presume' because I always presumed that nobody would help, or I wouldn't be able to do something that I wanted, I still have to nudge myself sometimes, so this is such good advice, thanks!


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Thank you for your comment Sinea. It's surprising how many people are afraid of a little word 'no,' and so they miss out on all the yeses as well.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Very much appreciate you stopping by to read one of my hubs.

You are so sweet to suggest such a thing! I am flattered, truly. You must be the first man I have ever known who has appreciated my mind to such a degree that he wants to know it better! ;)

Truth is, all I ever do is work. I'm a workaholic. I tried other things, but they didn't work for me. So, when something doesn't work, rather than getting frustrated and upset, the best thing is to try something else. But if I were ever going to that location, I can think of no one I would rather go with than you.

Hugs and xx


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

How about a weekend in Cabo later in the year??

Using your dictums here

Bobx


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

You'd be surprised how many people will not even try. They will assume the answer will be no, or they will feel odd even asking. People who aren't too timid to ask, often get what they ask for.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

Healthy Pursuits: You are so right! Thank you for taking time to read and comment!


Sinea Pies profile image

Sinea Pies 4 years ago from Northeastern United States

You make such a good point here. You are right...often we don't get because we don't even ask! Voted up and useful!


Jonny windows profile image

Jonny windows 4 years ago from u.k.

i must store this article in my memory ! (very useful)


Au fait profile image

Au fait 4 years ago from North Texas Author

I hope lots of people will be inspired just like you to improve their situations and/or make their dreams come true. Thank you again Shyron, for taking the time to add to the conversation!


Healthy Pursuits profile image

Healthy Pursuits 4 years ago from Oregon

So true! It's amazing how many people seem to have been taught not to risk something that isn't really a risk at all.


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 4 years ago

Inspiring! This encouragement, is just what I need right now. Thank you!

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