How To Take Pills You Can't Swallow
Nowadays it is hard to go five paces without running into some massively large pill you're supposed to swallow. It's ridiculous, and whilst a portion of the population has no trouble gulping down large solid hunks as if they were pelicans, the more delicate and refined of us find that our throats close up at the mere thought of taking a pill. We try though, only to find that they either get stuck at the front of the mouth, or that our soft mouthy parts at the back are preventing us from swallowing it properly. The worst occurs when you halfway get there and it kind of gets stuck and you must down half a gallon of the nearest liquid in order to wash it down, after which you are a shaking, trembling mess.
Now, good advice would be to practice taking pills with multi vitamins or something and do it every day so that when the day comes that you do need to take big antibiotic pills, or swallow a small robot (it will happen eventually,) you can do it with a suave confidence.
Or you can do what I do, crush them up and then take them. Now, some medications could make you pretty sick if you do this, so I advise you to consult with your medical professional first. My doctor just gave up eventually and told me to go ahead and crush amoxycillin pills, but ask yours first, I don't know what you're taking and I can only consult with my cat mittens who wants all humans to die, so don't take our word for anything.
Once you get permission to crush however, here's how to do it to maximum effect. A paramedic friend recommends crushing pills into jam or honey. This means that the pills don't go everywhere and you get all the mediciney goodness from them. I would take his advice first, but it's not how I do it.
I crush mine up into a bowl, then add a little bit of yoghurt, then lick that down from a spoon. The medicine sticks to the yoghurt like breadcrumbs on a chicken drumstick, so it only takes a few dollops of this method interspersed with 'clean' medicine free spoon fulls to clear the palate to take the pill entirely. Do this quickly and you can have the whole pill down, without too much of a gross taste within a minute or two. It is quick, relatively painless, and at no point in the proceedings do you think that you are going to choke and die.
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