How To Tell You Are Too Old And Past Your Sell By Date 10 Signs To Watch Out For!

Well, we can look can't we? flickr
Well, we can look can't we? flickr

Oh those glorious days of youth! When a night out meant slapping on your make up, tonging your hair, and choosing the most sensual of dresses to go out and meet the boys. I remember them well. Strolling in at four in the morning, still looking as good as when you went out, well, nearly! The nights always seemed warm and stars would twinkle in the sky, even the rain held a certain kind of magic.

Then came marriage and children, but you still had that zing baby! You could walk down the road, and know that you can turn heads. Hear a whistle from a workman, I know, not allowed these days! What? Who said it was wrong for a man to whistle at a girl? The girl? No way! We loved it, made our day. And those days went on and on, never changing, knowing that you will always feel beautiful, even if you weren't particularly pretty, it was youth that got you the attention. Then bam! One day the attention stopped. Without realising it, you are suddenly too old and past your sell by date!

No I Am Not Mutton Dressed As Lamb Honest! foodmarathon.wordpress.com
No I Am Not Mutton Dressed As Lamb Honest! foodmarathon.wordpress.com

Now I could get all psychological and say don't be stupid, there's no such thing as too old, but bear with me. There are signs, oh yes! Big ones, that slap you round the face, and say, what you? Still attractive? Yeah right!

Don't get me wrong, you don't go from young and lovely, to old and wrinkly overnight. No, not that easy. The changes are small, and start to seep into your conscious mind when you don't expect them.

So, here are the ten signs on:

How To Tell You Are Too Old And Past Your Sell By Date


Smug cow! sluniverse.com
Smug cow! sluniverse.com

Smug as a Bug!

Number one on the list is mortifying. I am jumping right in here before I start to cry again. Okay, here's the scene. You are walking down the road, humming to yourself and suddenly you see coming towards you in the distance, a gorgeous yummy man. As he gets closer your eyes meet, and you start to swing those hips. Yeah that's right, go for it! As he reaches you, he smiles into your eyes, and you smile back. Then from behind him emerges his girlfriend. You meet eyeball to eyeball. Wait for it, you think, now she is going to glare at you and grab her man.

But she doesn't. Instead, she takes one look at you and smiles, says hello and walks on. Oh dear God! by the look on her face you know you are no longer a rival! So what does she see exactly? Yep, you got it, a mother figure! Or even worse, grandma! Your stomach falls down to your feet and you shuffle home wondering where the vodka is. But you settle for cocoa, may as well get into the granny mode.

Roll out the Barrel!

Number two is more subtle, but that doesn't mean it won't sting! After a heavy day at work, you stumble into the nearest pub and wander over to buy a drink. The bar is full of men, and you know, just know that one of them is going to offer to buy it for you. So you wait. And wait. Eventually you turn around and stare at the guy next to you at the bar.

He smiles. Oh at last, you think and return the smile. Only to be greeted with, 'Hi, you're so and so's mom aren't you? Thought so, would you like a chair? You look tired! You take the chair and sit down. But do things get better? Of course not. He then goes on to talk about how much he fancies the girl behind the bar. You slink to the toilet and head out the back door trying to find the nearest barrel of beer to drown your sorrows.

Quite Sweet Really! maleehas.blogspot.com
Quite Sweet Really! maleehas.blogspot.com

Should I be Fussy?

Numero three, Oh happy days! They say you can tell your age by the people who flirt with you. On entering a certain establishment, yes that pub again, glutton for punishment me, I hear a shuffle behind me, and, turning around there is an old man with a stick, no teeth and a bright red nose, leering at me. And he's breathing down my neck.

After establishing the fact that yes indeedy he was trying to chat me up, at least I think the spit that was flying around as he formed the words, was in fact aimed at me, I smile, grab my bag and head out the door. Okay you might say that I am desperate, but surely you can't believe I am that desperate!

Okay, where did that fat come from? sodahead.com
Okay, where did that fat come from? sodahead.com

Going Ga Ga!

And so we have number four. You get invited to a party. At last! I have been acknowledged as the life and soul of the party! So, heading for the wardrobe, you start throwing all your best little black dresses on the bed. Eventually you find the one that you want to wear. Throwing it over your head you realise that actually you might have put on a few pounds, so struggle with the buttons or zip. You then head for the mirror. Staring back at you is a sack of overripe melons and sprouting potatoes, all squashed up in one bag.

So you breath in. Does it work? No, it just displaces the fat, and you watch in amazed horror as your bum gets bigger, and your waist heads down towards your knees. The clock is ticking, what the hell to do? Eventually you find something that actually fits, even though its boring and old fashioned. So you try to liven it up with jewelry. Then you stand in front of the mirror and sigh with relief. You still got it girl. Or so you think!

Numero Five

There's a knock at the door, and your lift is here. On arriving at the party, you throw your coat at the nearest host and head into the living room singing, 'Ga Ga la la la la Lady Ga Ga' at the top of your voice, only to realise that it is in fact a tupperware party, and the guests are all elderly ladies. They glare at you, sniff and turn away. You slump away and head for the garden, find a pond and dive head first in. The fish are better company.

Oh the shame! blog.personaldefensetechniquesandgear.com
Oh the shame! blog.personaldefensetechniquesandgear.com

Beyonce? More like beyond a joke!

No. six isn't much better! and does it improve? No. Renowned for your dancing techniques, you head for the dance floor. there's nobody else out there dancing yet, but you don't care. you're an animal out there, swinging your arms to Beyonce, twisting and twirling to rap, R n' B, knowing, just knowing that you are sooooo good. You shake your booty, come on guys I am up for some Fuuunnn! Whee!

Then eventually you head towards your table to get a well earned drink only to see a group of young girls giggling like mad as you walk past. But you ignore them thinking they are laughing at each other. Then you catch part of the conversation as you walk past. 'Silly old woman, what on earth was that? Does she think she can still dance? Haaaaaa! Once again mortified. You head for the ladies and stay there until closing time, only coming out when the cleaner arrives. On the way home you get mistaken for a bag lady. Whoopee Da!

This is how old firemen look sometimes! Ah bless! halloweencostumes.com
This is how old firemen look sometimes! Ah bless! halloweencostumes.com

Time to wear a bag over my head!

And if those weren't bad enough here is a very quick selection of How To Tell You Are Too Old And Past Your Sell By Date!

7. Sitting in a restaurant, you catch a glimpse of your mother in the mirror near the door. Wondering what she is doing there, you go to stand up and look, then realise that the woman in the mirror is in fact moving too. it wasn't your mom, it was you!

8. Sorry for the cliche', but every time you see a Fireman, Doctor or Policeman you notice that they in fact look young enough to be your grandchildren!

9. Throwing your clothes onto the bed getting ready to go out, you suddenly realise that the mini dress, stockings and high boots may no longer be appropriate wear! Arggh!

10. And last but not least. You have to grow up! I mean, why can't I chat up that twenty year old any more? Why do I have to behave and give advice when all I want to do is have fun, and most of all, why don't my friends want to PARTY ANY MORE? I don't CARE that they are over fifty!

So, there you are. If you want to know if you are over the hill, just check these out. And when you start to get upset just remember, you are only as old as the man you feel....I mean, you are only as old as you feel! Oooops!



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Comments 183 comments

AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

This is a very funny hub, Nell - and unfortunately there's some truth as well as amusement in your hub! Thank you for the entertainment.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Alicia, the one with the girl and the boyfriend happened to me the other week! lol! luckily I haven't jumped in a pond, yet!


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

Funny, funny hub. A friend recently snapped a picture of me and when she sent it via email she told me that she thought that it was really good and that I would like it. When I received it, I thought...oh dear! Do I really look like that?

Personally I think that there is a closet monster that shrinks our clothing when we have not worn them in a while.

Enjoyed this! :))


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

Brilliant stuff, Nell. You could have been writing about me!!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Peggy, lol! there must be a lot of closet monsters out there! I huff and puff just trying to get my jeans on! nobody tells you that as you get older your mind stays at 21! thanks for reading, cheers nell

Hi, IzzyM, lol! I think its all of us over a 'certain age' ha ha! still, my friend who is in her seventies said, 'I love being this age, I can ogle the men, and they think I am being sweet!' ha ha! thanks for reading, cheers nell


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Nell Rose....hmmmm....should I thank you for such a funny hub OR should I tell you, "it's not nice to make a Grandma cry.".....Oh My....the photo of that "muffin top!" (Make a note: We must not wear PINK STRETCHY TOPS!!) It may not happen over night...but remember, evil predators lay in wait. Ah, but nature is so kind to us, to deteriorate our eyesight in sync with the things we don't want to see. I've worked on my issues. A FULL length mirror that slims....a long FULL nightgown with LOTS of frill....a dimmer switch on the lights...& lots of oils...body oils, frangrance oils, Omega 3 oils, W2 oil for the squeaky bed springs.....Voila!! I'm gorgeous, sexy & .....HA! he's snoring. And that's FINE with me... Peace.


grandmapearl profile image

grandmapearl 4 years ago from Southern Tier New York State

Being one that remembers the party scene and all the fun times that have long since past, I thoroughly enjoyed this funny hub. Time does have a way of shrinking all the clothes in my closet. Loved the photos, especially the muffin top over the jeans. Believe me, I am past my sell date! Voted Up, funny and now following!


hush4444 profile image

hush4444 4 years ago from Hawaii

Nell Rose, you are hilarious! I discovered just this last Christmas that I'd much rather be around fun people who are slightly older than I am than even one smug cow! I bet you're a fantastic dancer - the young people I know don't dance, they just grind. Thank you for the great laugh!


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 4 years ago from California Gold Country

Oh, yes. You seem to have a lot of people here who understand these points. I have looked all over and can't find my "sell-by" date. Maybe it's in a spot I can no longer see?-- or, maybe don't have one, like fine vintage wine, or 1000 year old eggs?


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

Not only was this funny but so very to the point! The only salvation for us is to stay with a man long enough that he can't get anyone else either ;) Loose, black clothing is always in style and hides everything you need to hide. As for "over the shoulder boulder holders" the boulders begin to look more like falling rocks! Truly enjoyed this hub. Voted up. Thanks for SHARING.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, fpherj48, lol! you have got it sorted! I always used to say when I take out my contact lenses and look in the mirror I look beautiful, its the putting them back in that's the problem! ha ha! thanks again, nell


MummyDearest profile image

MummyDearest 4 years ago from Kildare, Ireland

What a funny and entertaining hub..I was laughing so much my husband thought i was mad.. Thanks for making my day. This hub tickles!! Voted up!! cheers!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, grandmapearl, thanks so much, yes that top! lol! my clothes need a good sorting out, or perhaps its me that needs sorting out! lol!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, hush, thanks for reading, recently me and a friend were at the pub and there was a group on, they played faster and faster and only me and my friend could keep up, all the younger ones clapped! not sure if it was out of pity though! ha ha!


My Minds Eye53 profile image

My Minds Eye53 4 years ago from Tennessee

Thank goodness I have always looked younger than my age! Well I used to. At 58, it is catching up to me. The whistling days are gone. sigh.

Funny hub Nell, voted up. Shared


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Rochelle, lol! that's what I am going to say from now on! I age like fine wine! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, till, I think a big black tent frock is for me! lol! but I still try and get into that mini skirt even for a few seconds! oh well I can at least try! thanks as always, nell


alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

This would be hilarious if you weren't writing about me ;) Voting this Up and Funny anyway.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, My Minds, I know what you mean, I just want to parade in front of a workman and demand, yes demand he whistle! ha ha! thanks so much for sharing, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, alocsin, lol! never! I think its the same for men as well as women, the advantage of being a man though is that they just get distinguished looking as they get older! not fair! lol!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, MummyDearest, lol! thanks for reading, and I am glad it made you smile! cheers nell


cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

Hehe...awww...overripe melons? Sack of potatoes? Nah, Nell. I'm sure you'd be the first to say, "you're only as young as you feel". :) This was a really cute hub. It made me smile - not laugh, just a big, wide grin. Thanks for brightening my day.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

While I've always looked younger than I am, it's mostly the fat that keeps out the wrinkles :-)

The worst thing about getting past your sell date is all the aches and pains and bags under the eyes. But you are so right, the brain still thinks it's 21. Dang it.


writeronline 4 years ago

hi nell, i'm kinda speaking softly here (lowercase= softly... no? never mind,) because i can't see any other comments from men.

all i wanted to say was, when i was a young and callow youth, i fancied older women somethin awful. (not supposed to be a bad pun, seriously). but i'd met the girl I was going to marry when i was sixteen. actually, she met me, if you want to be picky, she was fourteen. presumably from what you've said here, she figured she had to merchandise her assets while they still had the bloom of youth.. anyway, the point is, i never lost my love of the special appeal of the older woman.

but, all good things come to those who wait. my wife and i have been married now for forty-two years, and during the last ten she's fulfilled my every older woman dream. exceeded some of them in fact!

(she'd kill me for saying she's an older woman, but as your article attests, age cometh to us all...)

just hang in there nell, you don't know what you've got goin for you.

ps; didn't i read something about you and the eternal schoolgirl look the other day?

maybe i was just dreaming...


ElizaDoole profile image

ElizaDoole 4 years ago from London

Hey Nell, I really enjoyed reading this hub. I can see that some of this stuff is my future. I'm not so young now, and I am at the stage where the bar staff could be my daughters. This is quite a good fact that I point out to my boyfriend often. ie they are old enough to be your children, that's how they look at you. Not with interest. Ha ha!

The best thing I find about getting older, is that while the firemen etc look like kids, I find older men (or men my age) more attractive. I like a bit of grey on the head now, and some wisdom in conversations.

The weight battle is the one that gets me. I have to eat like a sparrow to stay thin, and now I have to gym it three times a week just to maintain a weight. AAggg. When I was twenty, I'd lose 5 kilos after a late night out. Those were the days.xx


TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

TIMETRAVELER2 4 years ago

Cute hub! Frankly, though, now that I'm pushing 70, I'd love to be 50 again!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Oh, Nell, you have such a lovely sense of humor. You've made me smile from beginning to end. Every word so true.

Voted up, funny and awesome.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, cclitgirl, I have just started bike riding again! got to do something to lose weight! lol! its not so much that I am big, just the extra pounds seem to be in the wrong places! thanks for reading, and glad I made you smile!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Austinstar, Lol! Oh dear! you do look young, its when I start to keep my face straight so as not to attrack wrinkles is the time to start panicking!

ha ha! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, writer, I like that, eternal schoolgirl! haha! that's nice to know there are some guys out there that go for the older woman, maybe there's one out there for me! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Eliza, thanks for reading, that's a great way to put your boyfriend in his place when he thinks he still has the chance to pull! haha! brilliant! I only eat a little but the trouble with me is that I eat at night! oops!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Timetraveler, I totally understand, I would love to be 35 again, but people of 35 years old say they are old! haha! can't win! thanks for reading, cheers nell


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 4 years ago from Great Britain

Nice one Nell... of course I don't get this hub.. I am eternal youth and dare any one argue with that! lol... Denial is a strange emotion!

p.s. where's the party? oops.. it is in my head (shucks!).


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Martie, lol! I just suddenly realised that I looked like my mother, that's what started the whole thing! haha! thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, shaz, nice to see you, I know what you mean, I am really young attractive and have so many boyfriends I don't know what to do with them! oh yes, put them back in my head! haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell


shea duane profile image

shea duane 4 years ago from new jersey

I laughed out loud! so funny.


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 4 years ago from Taos, NM

This is hilarious, Nell. And, oh so true! It's hard when you realize the guys are all looking at the young ones in the bikini's at the beach, not at you and me! Life moves on and somehow we all survive. At least we are move mellow now a days!


poetvix profile image

poetvix 4 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

I had to laugh but at the same kind of want to cry. It's too on the money and I recognize too many that apply to my own life. They say grow old with grace. I say "rage against the dying of the light!" Perhaps, we can take heart in the fact that "cougars" are in fashion. :) I don't like the term, but it is uplifting. Cheers!


Suzie ONeill profile image

Suzie ONeill 4 years ago from Lost in La La Land

Thanks for the chuckles!!


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora

Extremely funny, Nell, Thanks!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 4 years ago from Ireland

Thanks for the fun.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Shea, glad it made you smile!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, suzette, yes (sigh) I know what you mean! lol! still never mind as you say older but more mellow, well sometimes! haha


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, poet, yes I like that word! haha! its been said that it's a state of mind, all depending on what state you are in! love that phrase! lol! thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Suzie, glad it made you laugh, thanks for reading, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Laura, thanks for reading, it was funny after the event, or should I say events! lol!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, chspublish, nice to see you, thanks for reading, cheers nell


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

I think there is a condition that afflicts us all between the ages of fifty and eighty. Absolutely from the date of your fiftieth birthday, everything goes to pieces. You can blag your way to a "good time" if you are forty something, but if you are honest, and admit to being over fifty, forget it.

When you reach eighty, if you can survive the desert years, you become interesting again, by virtue of your advanced years.

You wont get a "good time", but at least they will start buying you drinks again.

Thanks Nell for a very funny, but all too accurate, article.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Ha ha! Always learn new phrases from your hubs Nell, 'tonging' in this one for example. Oh, before I forget, have you seen Kittydreamers fave hubbers yet? This is another great one from you and confirms a suspicion I've had for awhile; and that is women worry more how other women perceive them than the men do. How depressing for a lady when in a bar full of men none offers to buy her a drink. Must be absolutely deflating. One time way back I got inebriated and woke up to the sight of a girl's mouth full of rotted black teeth! Bless her breath I even offered to help her go to a dentist. Once a man who was connected to the movie industry went with some assoc. to the Cat House of a Madam Snares in the Hollywood of 1930s. He told me that after the selections were made the Madam had the naked girls go out and put bags over their heads; after which she asked the boys to pick the girl they'd just picked, and not a one em could do it much to the Madams absolute cackling delight!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, christopher, a condition! lol! you are so right! the answer is of course, never admit to being over fifty! we are a continuous 49! and I stick to my case there! thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Alastar, rotten teeth? yuck! lol! I love the story about the bags over their heads! hee hee! says it all really! thanks as always, nell


Kris Heeter profile image

Kris Heeter 4 years ago from Indiana

Awesome hub! I know that I'm starting to sound like my mother...it's hard to tell us apart on the phone sometimes. And I'm sure I'll soon be falling into the #7 category too:)


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 4 years ago from USA

Very, very funny! The hardest thing of all is to look at photographs of yourself from 10 years ago and wonder how you could have been so young looking... aging is not for the faint-hearted! Voted up and funny! and shared!


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

PMSL this is painfully true. That girl smiling at you politely, when you had something else in mind for her boyfriend cracked me up.

Did you give her a maidenly aunty nod back too!

Funny interesting and voted up. SHARING


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Kris, I see my mum in the mirror, I even have a small skin discoloration on my eyelid that's the same as hers! that wasn't there before! haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Stephanie, exactly! lol! I have a photo on the wall of me just standing there grinning away, and I look at that and then look in the mirror and think, what is it that has changed? its so subtle, but certainly tells your age now! thanks so much for sharing, nell


Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK

Nell, you do make me chuckle! What a great hub that so many of us can identify with or at least try and see the funny side! The weird thing is, I don't see many older ladies that look bad. I see plenty of younger ones though with muffin tops and tree trunks squeezed into leggings. I sometimes think they must have got dressed in the dark! Maybe they just think they're invincible because they're young. I never did though. I didn't appreciate the size 8 figure I had then. Now i'm at the gym 5 times a week to maintain my size 12 figure! My bathroom looks like the shelves of Boots with all the moisturisers in it! I love your humorous style. Voted up!


urmilashukla23 profile image

urmilashukla23 4 years ago from Rancho Cucamonga,CA, USA

So hilarious and entertaining! I have to share this one on my face book.Voted up! Nice job.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Peanut, thanks for reading, you are right there! sometimes the teens wear the oddest things, not because of fashion but just to slob about! I really need to get back down that gym tooo! lol!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

..oh I so love this one my dear Nell of Nobility and Wonderful Wit and will post this madly and gladly to my FACEBOOK page with a direct link back here - I must tell you in confidence that I am over 200 years old and have none of these problems but I do admit that some days my coffin feels a little bit too stuffy and cramped.

lake erie time ontario canada 4:41pm

Sending you warm wishes and good energy from Count Colin


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, molometer, I tried to retain my dignity whilst muttering under my breath! haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, urmila, thanks so much, Oh for old age! haha!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Colin, lol! 200 years old? never! you must have the secret of youth! thanks so much for the link, and hugs back, thanks nell


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Loved this hub and laughed all the way through it. Sad thing is I related to it oh so well. Now when I walk into a bar and see how young the people are I always think how did they get in here, they're all too young.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

This Hub of yours Nell is too Funny for words. Don't we all see ourselves...But not on a GOOD DAY! Oh NO, we are all that, and More. Very, Very, Funny! Great Sense of Humor, my Friend!


Kim Cantrell profile image

Kim Cantrell 4 years ago from Deep In The Pages of a Book

I just don't think it's right that I'm only 38 but relate to this oh. so. well. But, on the plus side, I've laughed my ass off so thanks for that! Definitely gonna share this! :)


Barbara Kay profile image

Barbara Kay 4 years ago from USA

I'd laugh, but all of these things happen to me so it's not so funny anymore. Once I hit my late 40's I noticed that the old men paid way too much attention to me. Now at 60, I can't even walk into a restaurant without all the toothless old men drooling. I might be old, but I'm not ready for that.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Susan, I know just what you mean! there's nothing that shows our age more than seeing the kids in the bars! lol! but I can't bare the thought of going to the other places where they are older! thanks again, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, b. Malin, I think I am going to shock everybody and start wearing my mini skirt and leather jacket again! it will get me noticed, but not in a good way! haha!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Kim, you have a way to go yet, so make the most of it! lol! glad it made you laugh, thanks!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Barbara, lol! oh dear, I know just how you feel! mind you, the way its going for me, maybe I won't mind how old they are! haha! thanks as always, nell


radhikasree profile image

radhikasree 4 years ago from Mumbai,India

Hi Nell, Your hub is a reminder for everyone who forget about time. The various phases of life as we pass through is greatly featured in this hub.

Voted up as awesome.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, radhikasree, yes you are so right, we forget how old we are, but one day we look in the mirror and get a shock! lol! thanks for reading, cheers nell


lisadpreston profile image

lisadpreston 4 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

funny but true. Ugh! Rated up and awesome!


Deb Welch 4 years ago

Nell - Voted Up - Funny and Interesting. May feel 30 and look 45 but I am way past that number - I woke up! The(bum)in an English accent was hilarious - I noticed mine is getting a little pudgier and some of my pants don't have that Spandex percentage in the waistband and gives a tight fit. Great entertaining Hub.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, lisa, haha! yes definitely Ugh! thanks!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Deb, yes my bum! haha! I should have put rear or derriere, try and be french it seems so much more ladylike, and makes you feel younger with a bit of french chic'! thanks for reading, cheers nell


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 4 years ago from Sweden

This is so good, I love it and had to read it twice:) You describe exactly how it feels and I can relate to all of it. Funny how our mothers seems to reappear when we least expect it and the transformation occur without we knowing about it! Suddenly one day, it is a fact. Thanks for a great article, voted up, funny, interesting and more

Tina


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Tina, glad its not just me then! lol! I think its also the fact as we get older we start to ignore fashion and go for the comfy option, maybe we should all get back out there and strut our stuff! haha!


Leah Helensdottr profile image

Leah Helensdottr 4 years ago from Colorado

Great hub, Nell Rose, written with self-deprecating humor. How sad it is that everything you wrote is true! I've always remembered a line written by the author Judith Wax (who tragically died in a plane crash or we'd have more of her great books): "One day you look in the mirror and see that time's wing'ed chariot has knocked you down and run over your face." Or, as my aunt put it after having cataract surgery and seeing herself clearly in the mirror for the first time in years: "Who is that old lady, and why has she been allowed to run around town looking like that?"


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

I literally laughed outloud and that doesn't happen often when reading. Very good sense of humor; I'm way past fifty but I remember those days well. Great Hub!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Leah, love your aunts saying! lol! but the winged chariot says it all too, never mind, theres always that thing called makeup! haha! hides a multitude of sins and wrinkles! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, billy, glad it made you laugh! actually I have to laugh or i'd cry! haha!


alphagirl profile image

alphagirl 4 years ago from USA

You made me laugh!


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

Nell, this Hub is an absolute hoot! Now, I've got something that will make you feel a lot better (LOL) and raise your spirits. Be who you are, when you are, and don't give a thought to age. I'm 74 and having more fun than I've had in my entire life -- also, younger men are just deeee-vine! Great Hub and voted UP! Best, Sis


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks alpha, glad it made you laugh, nell

Hi, Angela, lol! I love that! deee-vine! I am going to say that every time I see a nice looking man! that's made my day thanks!


ElizaDoole profile image

ElizaDoole 4 years ago from London

Nell I've stopped by to say my latest hub was inspired by you and this hub! Thank you x


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Eliza, I can't wait to read it.


MummyDearest profile image

MummyDearest 4 years ago from Kildare, Ireland

i am reading your hub again and just shared it with my husband... it made us laugh!! What great sense of humor you have!


sligobay profile image

sligobay 4 years ago from east of the equator

Hey Nell. You know, a head full of teeth is not all its cracked up to be. Why "toothless old men" seem to occupy your pubs should be taken up with your Minister of Health. Young and old, dental aesthetics make the world a happier place because we prefer a smile from a person with a full "grill". "Ignore your teeth and they'll go away" reads the sticker on the bumper of my dentist' Mercedes.

Why are Pubs full of toothless men and not women? Some good dentistry, grooming and a gifted tailor remove the vestiges of age for both genders. If you've got it, flaunt it. If not, then don't. Sexuality evolves and ripens.

Enough for the reality part of my comment. This article is fall down funny and so my comment needn't be. The roundness of melons can only be fully appreciated when they are let loose from their sack.

Laughter and a sense of humour evolve with age and experience and are more greatly valued than the superficial silliness of schoolgirls though that cuteness is never lost to a mature woman.

Now that I have my new denture, I'd never miss an opportunity to buy you a drink and laugh uproariously with you throughout eternity - provided I could strip you of your death shroud. LOL Another GREAT WRITE.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks again, MummyDearest, my son thinks I am mad! lol! but he knows my sense of humour, I always know when he is being serious because he says, 'this is my new girlfriend act like an adult! hee hee!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Lol! 'melons can only be fully appreciated when they are let loose from their sack'! haha! brilliant! thanks sligo, made my day!


Mark Pitts profile image

Mark Pitts 4 years ago from United States

Don't worry, us fellows go through the same thing. This was too funny, thank God, otherwise it would just make me feel bad.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Mark, lol! don't worry, I feel better now I know men feel the same way! we just have to get back out there and strut our stuff! haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell


lilyfly profile image

lilyfly 4 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

Oh, how I love you!!! I knew I could not be choosy when I had to pluck my nose hairs, as well as my brows, and that I could wrestle into a girdle, but could not hide my cankles! Oh, dear, much love from across the pond! lily


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, lily, lol! that sounds just like me! I was wondering how you were, hope you are okay? we are going through a deep freeze, so I think I will keep the thermals on for now! haha!


yols-a profile image

yols-a 4 years ago from Trinidad and Tobago

Hey a really funny hub keep up the good work


Alisonburgess 4 years ago from Warren, Michigan

You can tell you are getting old when a book comes out called "I Want My MTV" and your daughter (24) asks you who Martha Quinn is and you remember.


htodd profile image

htodd 4 years ago from United States

This is really an awesome post ..Thanks Nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks yols-a!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Alison, lol! I know just what you mean, I don't know Martha Quinn, being English, but its similar to when my son asked me how do you use this old tape recorder! haha! it was one of those square ones with the buttons on the front!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, htodd, thanks for reading, I was having one of those days! lol!


Alisonburgess 4 years ago from Warren, Michigan

Well, I am 45 and my son is 8 and keeps messing up and saying I was born in 1945 lol.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Lol! thanks again, nell


Marla Neogra profile image

Marla Neogra 4 years ago from Parkersburg, West Virginia

Interesting hub, fortunately at 50 with three grown kids I can still go out with the younger crowd and have a good time and get drinks bought for me by men who are not my husband. I am definitely not the weight I once was but still competition to quite a few!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

That sounds great! maybe I will try again! haha! I think with me its the fact that most of my friends are doing other things and I don't want to go out on my own, but hey ho, I am going to now! thanks for reading, cheers nell


thost profile image

thost 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

Hi Nell Rose,

I feel like going on forever, but I’m a bit low on energy...... Oh dear.

Vote up.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks thost, lol! I know just what you mean! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Christian-Hunter profile image

Christian-Hunter 4 years ago from Austin

Great article, I appreciated the laughs, lord knows I need them: I just turned 38! That's less than two years from...sheeesh, one birthday between me and 40!

I never thought much about age until the last few years, as I transitioned from "closer to 20'sh than 40'sh". One reason, to be sure, had to do with the fact that others would chronically over-guess my age: eg. I'm 23 at a club – and we all know the convention that governs drunken conversations with randoms dictate at least some such basic stats be traded – and I'd always get the "ummm...like, 30?" (which at 23 is like a compliment...ugh).

This was back when I had hair, and an early receding hairline will date a man worse than paunch and polyester. When I shaved my head however, I might have taken off 10 years in appearance also...

But I digress. The meat of the point I wanted to communicate (and the only understanding that stands between me and that fish-filled pond you described) is the fact that as I age, with each passing year, my preferences seem to be keeping equal pace with me. I never thought I'd find a 30 year old woman attractive; now however, one 30 year old in particular is the sexiest woman in the world.

That's not to say 20-year-olds are ugly by comparison (only until technology allows us to look any age we choose will looking older become visceral-vogue), of course we'd all prefer a romp with a 20-something vs. a 70-something; but even at 38, the idea of having to wake up next to one (much less try to enjoy life in their firm-but-oft-naive presence) is like...gross!

Should I be concerned....do preferences get stuck at a particular age?

Please say "no"?

Christian Hunter


Marla Neogra profile image

Marla Neogra 4 years ago from Parkersburg, West Virginia

Ironically, I never thought I would think 50 was sexy in a million years, but besides Ryan Reynolds being hot I find men my age very attractive as well (most significantly my husband) so maybe some do get stuck in a particular age, but I would say more like a "score" (20 years) span.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Christian, lol! sadly yes! no, seriously, it all depends on the person, good question though! I always thought that getting older would make you like someone your own age, uh uh noooo! mind you thinking it and doing it sadly are two different things! I wouldn't want to do anything to make me look stupid, well, not as stupid as I have in the past! I always liked guys up to fifteen years younger than me, so at least they still can look good, but that's 35 ish, so that's okay! haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Marla, I think I like men from 35 onwards, saying that I saw a really nice guy today, and he gave me a lovely smile! (sigh) think he was about 25! haha!


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 4 years ago from US

Hey Nell I think I saw your number actually go up one when I came in, that is a first! Hope you hit the big one. I was thinking I bet our Rose came in more than once with that shirt inside out and I am howling! Love this!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Polly, lol! how did you know?! I am a good, well behaved young lady! well, not so young and not so good! hee hee! thanks again, nell


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

This truly was a hoot and a blast to read. Absolutley loved this... although I have to admit the first thing that came to mind was when I thought about the last time I went out and hit up the dance floor... by myself... because nobody else wanted to dance. I am now left wondering if I scared everybody away. Great hub and thanks for sharing it. Too funny!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Nell...

That was Hella sweet!! I launched Mountain Dew out my nose when I read, "...at least I think the spit that was flying around as he formed the words, was in fact aimed at me..." It gave new meaning to "pitching woo".

Your words...like gravity...are true and sobering. Every one of your examples was funny as hell. Why? Because they're true...

Thanks!

Thomas


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

What a hoot and holler! Past your sell by date! haha! Never happen. Right? It can't. Can it? Uh oh! Oh my.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Maybe a little over ten years I will be there.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, barbergirl, lol! I definitely scare them away! thanks for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Thought, pitching woo! haha! Oh that hurt my stomach for laughing so much! its just one of those things, getting older, nobody wants ya, and so on, poor me! haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Oh it can Sunshine! haha! I think its just me so don't worry, maybe its because I have an aura about me that says, keep away unless you're worth it! lol! thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Vinaya, no, surely not! maybe 20! lol! you look young, and of course being a man makes you more distinguished as you get older, so that's great! thanks again, nell


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Oh My so funny.. I can relate... I am sharing on Facebook,. with all my friends over 60..LOl

great hub

Debbie


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks so much Deborah, I am fifty two, so I think I beat you to it! haha! seriously, I sometimes wonder whether going out in my old leather jacket and short skirt will get me noticed again, doubt it, but you never know!


robie2 profile image

robie2 4 years ago from Central New Jersey

I've been past my " sell by" date for so long I almost enjoy being invisible to men-- now I'm only worried about my expiration date:-) Loved this hub. Thanks for the chuckle.


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

This is FABULOUS writing! I love your dry sense of humor. I am finally understanding why "old people" complained about their aches and pains. After 35 it is all downhill. I LOVE this!


ArtzGirl profile image

ArtzGirl 4 years ago from San Diego

Great humor! I love it! You should turn this into a novel then screenplay! This would be a fabulous story for when the 4 girls in Sex in the City finally GROW UP!!! LOL...


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

Hahaha.. very well done, all too true..up to a point.

My motto is, "Age is a state of mind," so yes, I agree with your closing point..only as old as you feel. Some days, when "Arthur Itis" comes calling, I do indeed feel older than I am. However, I'm a forever fan of the saying I saw once on a T-shirt:

"Growing old is inevitable; growing UP is optional."

Cheers...voted up across the board.


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

This was a great read - I'm still laughing. Laughing so hard it hurts! Wait - that's not the reason . . . the truth hurts! Oh dear.

Voted up and funny!


mljdgulley354 profile image

mljdgulley354 4 years ago

This was a funny hub. My grandma lived to be in her 90's and she would say she was only as old as she felt and some days she was older than other days. Today I can appreciate what she said it is so true.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, robie, lol! surely not! I think my sell by date is definitely been put on the shelf to collect dust! thanks so much, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, tammy, yes my perfect age was about 34, so I am staying there! lol! thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, DzyM, so true! lol! I always thought that when you got older you would feel more grown up, strangely enough it hasn't happened to me yet! haha! thanks for the vote, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Marcy, lol! I know! I used to make fun of people who moaned about being over the hill, now its not so funny! haha! thanks so much nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, mljd, exactly! lol! Oh to be young, well at least look young! thanks as always, nell


wonderful1 profile image

wonderful1 4 years ago from Southern California

Thanks for the warning, Nell, and I'll keep my eyes open to those tell-tale signs, lol. I'm still coping with hearing my 16-year-old tell me about how she plans to "move in with her boyfriend" after high school.

I find that example (of the little boy in the fireman suit) especially funny! I see cute young things now, and let me tell you, my "unacceptable" list begins with the thought: if he's closer in age to my daughter, then he's too young. But I sure love looking.

Great hub!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, wonderful1, lol! I love looking too! I remember taking a liking to my sons friend a few years ago, they were about 20, and I thought, ooh! haha!thanks for reading, cheers nell


kittyjj profile image

kittyjj 4 years ago from San Jose, California

You made me laugh! Very funny! I am edging closer to the big 50s. And I know I am no longer any threat to any young ladies. So I am fine if they greet me with a smile. :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks kittyjj, lol! I am most of the time! it was just this one incident, haha! thanks for reading, cheers nell


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Nell,

Your humour will never be outdated. ROFL.

Voted up up and away!

Take Care


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Sue!


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Nell, what a creative article! I was due for a much needed laugh, A very cool article my friend. Votes up and across.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks lyric! I was feeling sorry for myself! haha! glad it made you laugh, thanks as always, nell


debbie roberts profile image

debbie roberts 4 years ago from Greece

Love it!! Sadly I can relate to it too. I've definitely started to notice how young people look, especially in jobs with responsibility.....They can't be old enough!!! Surely?

Not started to look like my Mother.....Yet!!!

Your hub has certainly gone towards making my laughter lines more pronounced. Oh well!!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, debbie, haha! sorry about the laughter lines! thanks so much for reading, cheers nell


CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 4 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

I think for me the defining moment came when I was watching the rugby one day and instead of thinking 'wow look at those thighs' it was 'doesn't he look like a nice young man'. It takes all the fun out of it! Sighs as she dusts off her zimmer frame LOL!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, CMHypno, lol! oh dear! it creeps up on you doesn't it? haha! I think we should retrain our brains to think wow look at those thighs! think young and hopefully it will makes us feel young again! thanks for the laugh, cheers nell


donnaisabella profile image

donnaisabella 4 years ago from Fort Myers

Hey Nell, what are you talking about? I will just lie to myself and say I did not read this. Thanks, you are such a good writer!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, donnaisabella, lol! okay, I have no idea what I wrote about either! haha! thanks for reading, sorry not reading!


shea duane profile image

shea duane 4 years ago from new jersey

Hi Nell, funny thing happened... I had to buy a new computer and the sales person, probably about 25 or so, said well you're about my mom's age so this is what I recommend... I laughed. I'm proud to be 50, but no one had ever said that to me before. 8-)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, shea, Oh dear! lol! out of the mouth of babes etc! well not that young, but still! what would have got to me was the fact that she had said 'your about my mums age so this is what I recommend'! what has age got to do with the computer? did it have a large magnifying glass on the front so you can see the keys? haha! I bet she would be shocked to know that you are much more computer savvy than she is!


Lilleyth profile image

Lilleyth 4 years ago from Mid-Atlantic

Oh Nell. Oh Nell. Oh Nell. (shaking my head) I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks. Do you recall the first time someone called you "Mam" instead of "Miss"? Whew, I wanted to slap that bag boy silly! Then there was the day that the salesgirl mistook me for my younger (by 10 years) sister's mother. Ugh. But seriously Nell, by the looks of your photo, I'm sure you turn a few heads still.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Lilleyth, lol! I think I was having one of those days, in fact I got to the stage of thinking that if I don't get noticed soon, I am going to jump on the nearest guy and say, hey, how you doing? haha! glad it made you laugh, thanks!


bac2basics profile image

bac2basics 4 years ago from Spain

Hi Nell. Oh dear, I know I´m going off´er by the minute. You did miss one out though Nell..you really know you are past it when you can´t even pull at a wedding !!!!uh uh sniff sniff snifff arghhhhhhh :)Great hub Nell.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi bac, lol! can't say I have tried that one! thanks again nell


Anik Gypsy profile image

Anik Gypsy 3 years ago from 129, North Chashara, Narayangang, Dhaka, Bangladesh, 1400

It's a little harsh I felt sorry for my mom.... :'( she was more prettier than Aishwariya Rai or Selena Gomez when she was young. It makes me sad to think that she's not as young as she used to be.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi Anik, I am sure she doesn't mind! lol! you know what they say, with age comes wisdom, thanks for reading, nell


Sue Bailey profile image

Sue Bailey 3 years ago from South Yorkshire, UK

Definitely over the hill...


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Lol! thanks Sue!


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 3 years ago from Taos, NM

Don't know how I missed this one, Nell. This is hilarious. Let me add another one: You've taught the child, then you taught his/her child, and now you are teaching the grandchild. Time for retirement! Lol Voted up and shared!


DreamerMeg profile image

DreamerMeg 3 years ago from Northern Ireland

LOL - very funny. Reminds me of my sister, who also writes about this stuff - but not on hubpages. She makes all the rest of the family laugh and it's so true!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

lol! suzette! that would be the one wouldn't it? thanks as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks DreamerMeg, sometimes you have to laugh or else you would cry! Haha! thanks for reading, nell


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

How To Tell You Are Too Old And Past Your Sell By Date 10 Signs To Watch Out For! an amazingly thought of hub and you just know how to choose the best titles voted up, awesome, useful and interesting.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Thanks so much DDE, glad you liked it, nell


Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 2 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Amusing as always, but kind of sad knowing I did experienced few of it. Still, you always able to make me laugh. Thank you, Nell. ^^


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Freya, thanks so much, and its great to see you back here, I am glad you found this funny, getting older is a funny thing! lol! take care, nell


Harishprasad profile image

Harishprasad 2 years ago from India

Oh ! Great signs to identify your vigor and charm ! I think it is not meant for womenfolk only. Still, I wonder some so called old buddies, men or women, manage to snare young deers. I admire their guts, art and charm. They defeat all signs and sometimes their pouches are not so heavy too ! There is a ray of hope and why not emulate them....LOL.. Nell, such a great stuff full of mirth and all wittiness ! Loved reading it with all my heart. :-)


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 2 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

Owww. I don't know what hurts more: laughing my (now ample and sagging) ass off reading this, or the truth behind it.

Aging is not a graceful process. It is hard to give up those wild girl memories.

You are so right that it sneaks up on you. But once it's here it's here!

The one bright spot I can point to in my own life is my eye now goes to guys with gray hair. More age appropriate. The young ones barely register with me anymore.

Thanks for a fun read, Nell.

Don't let the giggly brats keep you off the dancefloor!

MM


sparkleyfinger profile image

sparkleyfinger 2 years ago from Glasgow

Great hub, made me chuckle! Hopefully I'm a bit far off my sell by date, but I certainly feel old sometimes! Voted up and funny!


jainismus profile image

jainismus 2 years ago from Pune, India

Great fun....


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks Harish, lol! glad you liked it, we have to keep our sense of humor as we age! nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi MM, lol! no I won't let them stop me dancing on that floor! I do know what you mean about the guys, yes its the older ones I like now, thank goodness! lol! mind you, sometimes, only sometimes my eyes will stray slightly to the young guys, but of course I can look and not touch, check out the menu but not eat the food! Haha!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks jainismus, glad you liked it! nell


rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey 2 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

Cute read! I first felt the phenomenon when the doctors and dentists I went to looked so young...it was kind of un-nerving.


savvydating profile image

savvydating 2 years ago

Well, things may be drooping for us on the outside but there's still some fire left on the inside, especially where you are concerned Nell. Your youthful energy comes through loud and clear. So what if those young girls don't know how to shake their money maker as well as you do. I remember dancing with my son once, and I started doing the bump. I don't know whether the bump was big in England, but it was all the rage about 30 years ago in the U.S. But my son wasn't having it. "Oh no," he said, "NOT THE BUMP!" Hmmph. Kill Joy.

I loved this hub. I can relate so well. Up & funny.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Rebecca, lol! yes I know what you mean! and police and firemen! thanks for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi savvy, LOL! yes I remember the bump! I can imagine your sons face when you started doing that! haha! how funny! thanks for making me laugh!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks sparkly didn't see ya there! lol! glad you liked it, nell


Nadine May profile image

Nadine May 2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

I'm in bed typing on my table after reading your post i had a great laugh.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Nadine, lol! glad it made you laugh, I can laugh about it now, but honestly when did age catch up? lol! thanks for reading, nell


john000 profile image

john000 23 months ago from Superior, Arizona

Good laugh from this. Well done. Though I am a bald man (I use a pretty girl for my thumbnail), it reminded me of several things in life that reminded me I was over the hill.

Once when one of my daughters was about 4 ( I had my kids a bit late), we were waiting in line at a grocery store. My daughter said about the man in front of us, "He is a daddy." I asked, " How do you know?" She said, "He has a skinny head too."

If you have a skinny head, you may be over the hill too.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 23 months ago from England Author

lol! Hi John! so all bald men are dads too! yes there are so many signs that tell us we are over the hill, I have lost track of most of them! thanks for reading, nell

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