How to Achieve Happiness

Happiness is a State of Mind

The ability to achieve happiness is within the human body for each and every living soul and the ability to achieve happiness depends on an individuals acceptance of happiness being a state of mind within their own control.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be happy nor does it require full maturity.

Do Babies Know Happiness?

Are babies happy?  Within a few months of life most babies learn to smile and laugh, obvious outward signs of happiness.  How did these babies become happy in such a short amount of time?  According to the hierarchy of needs a baby’s happiness, or self-actualization, is a direct result of nature in conjunction with the actions of another human being.  

The fact is, babies are capable of feeling and showing happiness because happiness is a state of mind.  Babies don’t know how to be unhappy until circumstances show them how.  Think about it.  Babies don’t cry because their unhappy, babies cry because they haven’t yet learned how to talk.

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Dependence Vs. Independence

As the baby grows into an adult they are no longer dependent upon another human being to satisfy their basic needs.  Does this mean they are no longer happy?  No.  This means they are achieving independence which is traditionally a happy time in an individual’s life.  Oh sure, there will be difficulties and trying circumstances, but that doesn’t equal unhappiness.  Difficult and trying circumstances are a part of life and not everyone can avoid them.  Does this mean people are no longer happy at this time in their lives?  No.  It means people are learning, still, how to get through life.

What is it, really, that brings people to being happy?  Can happiness be achieved over and over again on a daily basis or is it something within the human spirit that only needs to be called upon when needed or wanted? 

Self-Actualization, Happiness, Success

There are some people in this world who, for whatever reason, have missed seemingly crucial stages in the hierarchy of needs yet have been able to achieve extreme self-actualization.  It is uncertain if these people are truly happy, but they certainly appear to be, and to have achieved self-actualization along with their success.  According to the hierarchy of needs it isn’t possible. 

According to the hierarchy of needs, if a person does not achieve the goals of friendship, family and sexual intimacy, they will not be able to develop self-esteem, confidence, respect for others; they will not be able to reach achievements, or gain respect from others.  If a person does not reach this level they will not be able to reach the next stage of self-actualization, or, in other words, happiness. 

Happiness is

  • Based on the actions of someone else
  • What you make of it
  • A state of mind
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Happiness is...

What it all boils down to is this:  either your happiness is based on the actions of others or you take charge of your own happiness.  If your happiness is based on the actions of others it will fail to sustain you through success.  By choosing to take responsibility for your own happiness you choose to succeed and achieve throughout your life.

© 2010 Rafini

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Comments 21 comments

Rafini profile image

Rafini 5 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

Hello Earnest, Thank You!

Sense & Sensibility - always wanted to read that book...lol...but once I started I kinda lost interest rather quickly. Maybe when I have more time - anyway!

Thank you. Achieving happiness is best understood as a state of mind that can come and go, and doesn't depend on anyone other than yourself.


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 5 years ago from Melbourne Australia

A very sensible outlook in my opinion, I enjoyed your hub.


Rafini profile image

Rafini 5 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

Thank you PS. And thanks for stopping by!


paradigmsearch profile image

paradigmsearch 5 years ago from USA

This well-written hub will actually help people. Well done! Thank you for writing it.


Rafini profile image

Rafini 6 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

Thanks eshaw, for stopping by and leaving a comment. I have to believe happiness is a state of mind, it keeps me going day after day. :-) Plus, I can't stand the idea of my happiness being dependent on another person's actions. :D


eshaw profile image

eshaw 6 years ago from Huntsville

very interesting hub i agree with just about everything you said, you sound like you put alot of thought into this


Rafini profile image

Rafini 6 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

Hi Midtown Girl, and thanks for stopping by.

I wonder why it is that when I'm not in the best of moods I can tear apart this hub in an instant and yet, when I'm feeling good about myself I think the info makes a lot of sense? Odd how your moods affect the way you think....


Midtown Girl profile image

Midtown Girl 6 years ago from Right where I want to be!

Good information, and a nice reminder for all of us. :-)


Rafini profile image

Rafini 6 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

Hi Raisingme, it's much easier to be happy than people realize - and there are many times when I need the reminder. ;D Thanks - I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D


raisingme profile image

raisingme 6 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

It takes just as much energy to be happy as it does to be miserable - probably more in fact because you have to use your energy to hold the natural state back! I really enjoyed this read - thank you!


Rafini profile image

Rafini 6 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

epigraamman - thanks for the visit and compliment. I'm glad you like it. :D

(say hello to the sun for me too - it might be raining where I am :D)


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

how to achieve happiness: (and bliss) get up in the morning,make my coffee, see the bluebirds, pat my cats, say hello the sun and read your hubs which are of course - just simply hubtastic!!!!


Rafini profile image

Rafini 6 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

Good way to put it, loveofnight. :)


loveofnight profile image

loveofnight 6 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

another good read, i am one who always believed that you bring your joy with you and never let someone steal your joy.....


Rafini profile image

Rafini 6 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

Deborah - thanks for the comment and the Biblical reference...I didn't know it was there or else I would have used it. lol

elayne - I also have a general distrust of people, mostly because they are usually trying to convince me: of something I don't believe, to take something I don't want, sell me something I don't need...etc. I don't feel that fighting these things or my preference to be alone makes me anti-social, it just makes me independent, which is something I value, so it's ok with me!

I think society has confused independence with anti-social and shy behaviors. Anti-social means to be destructive or hostile, shy means being timid in other people's company. Independence means: not relying on another, to not be controlled by another.

You have the capacity to choose happiness, we all do, but it takes effort to change the way we think, the way we have been programmed by 'experts', the way we react to other people's opinions. It just takes practice. :)

I would also like to say, your husband needs to understand the difference between the two of you, accept it and embrace it, and you will come around in your own time - although you will never be as outgoing as he is because you are a different and unique individual. You can be happy as soon as you begin living to please yourself rather than listening to what everyone else is saying you need in order to be happy.


elayne001 profile image

elayne001 6 years ago from Rocky Mountains

I agree that you can make a choice to be happy, however, sometimes life experiences leave you with a distrust of people. I have had to fight that my whole life. I do best when I am alone - kind of anti-social. My husband is just the opposite and he loves dragging me to socials to try to get me over my shyness. Still hasn't worked. I want to be happy no matter what I am doing, but it does not come easily to me.


Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah Demander 6 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

Happiness is definitely a state of mind. You can be happy in whatever circumstances, if you set your mind to it. You cannot expect other people or external circumstances to make you happy. What you can do is make a choice to be happy. As Paul says in the bible, "I have chosen in whatever circumstance, therein to be content." It's something we could all practice.

Namaste.


Rafini profile image

Rafini 6 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

mega1 - thank you! Strange isn't it, the concept of everyone reacting the same in all kinds of different situations as if we were created with a cookie cutter. I agree with you, even though human beings are social creatures, for some, there is still the need for solitude that must be satisfied in order to achieve anything even remotely close to self-actualization. Being successful and confident with yourself comes from knowing you are capable of loving yourself which anyone can learn at any time in their lives despite what their past has taught them. All it takes is motivation.

As for learning not to respond with sadness etc - It's best to think in terms of: Who's problem is it? If it's someone else's problem, go ahead and give sympathy but remember to leave the sympathy card at the door when you leave. :)


mega1 profile image

mega1 6 years ago

This explains why I am usually happiest when alone! seriously, I know my problems are in direct response to others actions - learning not to respond with sadness etc is difficult. Sometime I am gonna get enlightened! I do think you are a very fine writer, introspective, good skills - got to believe in yourself!


Rafini profile image

Rafini 6 years ago from Somewhere I can't get away from Author

Wow, you sure got here fast! I also believe happiness to be a choice, it's all in the mind.

Thank you Lynda, for your comments.


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 6 years ago from Alberta and Florida

Personally, I believe happiness a choice, dependent on nothing external to the self -- certainly not material success, or even relations with others. No matter what your condition of life, you can choose to be happy and this is something modern society has forgotten (or perhaps chooses to exploit) constantly bombarding us with messages telling us we can't possibly be happy without this or that.

Happiness is found in acceptance and learning to be content.

This is an excellent hub, and a subject we should all give thought.

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