How to Deal With Haters
What is a Hater?
A hater is someone who works to disrupt, debunk, or simply hate you, what you do, and what you love. Haters may spread lies or malicious gossip about you, talk about you behind your back with the intention of hurting you, and use manipulation and negativity to recruit additional members into their hater club.
Anyone with any degree of success or competence can get haters. Haters hate you for accomplishments, attractiveness, youthfulness, experience, or any qualities that you have that they don't possess. Hate may be the result of envy, jealousy, low self-esteem, fear of failure, or anger at life circumstances. Haters need to hate in order to make themselves feel better about whatever weakness or incompetence they feel about themselves. For example, I have a hater who calls people I work with to discuss how she is more competent and more experienced than myself. While there may be some truth to what she says, the message is delivered in a hater way that actually doesn't achieve her desired goal. Competence is illustrated by actions and self-evident to others. Her behavior is a result of her own insecurities and has very little to do with me or my behavior. I simply trigger this insecure reaction, as she perceives me as a threat. Her thought patterns are in fact irrational, as no such threat exists, and her hater behavior is the result of trying to compensate for her out of control feelings. Hating never addresses the underlying issue. As a result, haters have a hard time changing their behaviors.
Tips on How to Handle the Haters in Your Life
- There is no reasoning with a hater. The painfulness of their own insecurities and inadequacies are so hard for them to face. Hate is the only why they can cope and go on with their lives. You can't talk a hater of hating. They are not ready to face their fears.
- Accept that you have haters. Losers don't have haters. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Don't change who you are for your haters. Take care of yourself and retain your self-confidence. Don't let haters drag you down to their level. Don't hate back.
- Limit contact and interactions with haters. As much as possible, you have to protect yourself and refrain from developing emotional relationships with your haters - keep it superficial.
- Develop your own support systems. Create your own fan base for your emotional health and in order to create a positive spirit to your life.
- Preserve your mental health. Develop outlets for expressing your feelings about the haters. Write, draw, paint, or find some means to let it all out, so that these negative feelings don't remain trapped inside and poison your life.
- Speak up for yourself. Even though you are keeping your distance from your haters, you still need to honor your principles and beliefs. Speak your mind in a reasoned and rational manner. And, then move on with your life.
- Continue to love and not hate. Find forgiveness.
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