How to Loosen Up

I'm trying to loosen up, can't you see?

How to Loosen Up is Done by Letting Go

There is only one thing we need to control and that is our own reactions. And the way to control our reactions is to loosen up by letting go. For instance, it's become clear that blaming other for our painful reactions has proven worse than useless; that answer has turned some of our friends into enemies. The life of real wisdom already lives within us. Choose to make this discovery and we will learn how to loosen up by letting go. You may not be able to think your way out of a nagging problem, but you can see your way clear of it. It is in your seeing that will bring you freedom.

Watch Me! Just let go, like this!

Observing through Self-Observation is Important

It is our own self-observation that is the key to this higher order of awareness. Self-observation allows us to understand. The silent observer that lives within does not think, it sees light of our new understanding. This higher freedom comes in direct proportion to what we are willing to learn about ourselves. Everything in life should be a learning experience instead of a proving one. We learn for ourselves that we have been teaching ourselves incorrectly. Anything that resists correction is part of what is wrong. So we must learn to let go of those parts of us that do the resisting. We can learn by self-observation, the need to loosen up and then letting go.

Have the Right Intention

Be a willing participant and look in the right direction. At first it will be humiliating to see and then admit that you only thought you were in the driver seat. The good news is we are never trapped by where we are. The trap is always who we are. To learn how to loosen up by letting go can help you to inwardly grow and the easier your whole life flows. Spiritual knowledge is something we think of as mysterious but in fact spiritual understanding is the most important and practical knowledge a person can possess. In loosening up and letting go we learn compassion. We no longer want to add to another person's suffering, even though it may seem to increase our own. We think we must push life in the direction we choose. That is what keeps us in a strained and unhappy relationship with it. We do not need power to flow, so feel free to loosen up by letting go. Allow intelligence to take you where you need to be - which is out of the battle. Whenever we seek some power to make some fear go away, all we do is empower the fear and give it a life that we call ours. Our real safety is what we can see about this world, not what we can win from it.

Want What Life Wants

It is not what life has brought you that you don't want. It is your reactions that turn the gift of life into the resentment of it. It is your own ideas about life that have failed you. What happens when you want what you want? You become nervous and anxious because life may not cooperate with your plans. We were not made in our own image. When you want what life wants you are never disappointed with what happens.

To Distinguish Between Your Want and Life's Want

Something to think about: If any want is the source of anxiety or sorrow, that want is yours and not life's. If it has pain, it's in vain. See that you are being washed away and grow tired of it. Learn how to loosen up by letting go. If you want to measure the level of an individuals stress, measure his insistence that life does what he wants. Letting go of old ideas is the only way to really invite something new.

Letting Go of Regret

Do not look back at regret. Regret only ties you to the old life level that doesn't know better and keeps you from the one that does. Let the fighting end. Don't let the current of the past dictate the direction of the present. It is never right to feel wrong, no matter how right you think you are. Letting go and walking away from the mental how into the spiritual now teaches you everything you need to know about how to proceed. Life is kind. Life is trying to tell you about it and the vastness of its immeasurable riches that already belong to you.

Loosen Up With Relaxing Music / Soothing Pictures

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Comments 45 comments

LosectinWinders 22 months ago

Loving this! Was under stress and came by to re-read. It's a difficult process, but so worth the effort...it gets easier with use and practice. I listen to music, light aromatic candles, and take warm/hot showers, then try to think of solutions and ways to put stressful situations out of my head.


Seakay profile image

Seakay 5 years ago from Florida

Very good points! Self realization doesn't come easy to everyone. Some never find it.


Rich 6 years ago

Good stuff. I looked this up because there was a time when I could loosen up. But lately I've been trying to control everything and I know it doesn't feel right. Controlling my world doesn't make me happy. It's time to let go, heal, and grow.


marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites 6 years ago from USA

Loving this! Was under stress and came by to re-read. It's a difficult process, but so worth the effort...it gets easier with use and practice. I listen to music, light aromatic candles, and take warm/hot showers, then try to think of solutions and ways to put stressful situations out of my head.

We cannot change all things, but we can all change our thoughts.

Stress is hurting us in so many ways. Thank you for guiding us through a new way to think and live.


doc_mikoy 6 years ago

i just googled "how to loosen up" and this is the first article on the list. i was hesitant at first but i would say, it was well worth it. during this time that i'm going through personal evaluation, it is mostly negative thoughts that flood my mind. i'd like to think of positive things rather than negative ones but it's easier said than done. we tend to look at the past and regret the "what could have been".dottie this is a great hub. thanks so much!!! you're a big help. will always go back to this article.


aromatherapy gift 6 years ago

A lot of people struggle from negativity out of the fear that something that may or may not happen.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 6 years ago from MA, USA Author

f47h4d, your very awareness of a negative mind is what will begin to collapse it. Awareness is everything, it is the light, the power, to dissolve all darkness such as negativity. Keep practicing awareness and you will find negative thoughts collapse, making room for a more positive outcome. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.


f47h4d profile image

f47h4d 6 years ago from manchester

i am a very negative minded person but this hub helped a lot thanks for that and i'm loving the soothing music. :D


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 6 years ago from MA, USA Author

You're welcome shareitt, thanks for passing through :)


shareitt profile image

shareitt 6 years ago

Wanting and Need are big factors in deed. Thanks for this hub, it's a good reminder :)


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Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA Author

Thanks DeBorrah. Sorry it took so long to respond, been fighting the flu. Thanks for your visit and comments.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 7 years ago

Dottie 1, Nice hub! Great ideas on how to loosen up! Thank you for sharing, Blessings!


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA Author

japh, thanks for stopping by. :)


japh@learn hypnosis 7 years ago

Very good. You have said a mouth full. Thanks.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA Author

awwww thanks so much Anna.S.. Your comment warms my heart. Thank you for stopping by and inspiring me. Glad this hub could do the same for you and your family. That's what it's all about! :)


Anna.S 7 years ago

Hi Dorrtie, you're hub's helpful and so inspiring. You've not just brought smile to my face but also to my husbands and kids. What you're doing here is truly amazing. Thank you so much!


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Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA Author

Thank you zoe Blue!


zoe Blue 7 years ago

this is really amazing!


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA Author

Hi Tonie, thanks for coming by and appreciating this hub and sharing your peace and enjoyment of life, thanks to the glory of God. A very nice reminder, thanks.


TonieTate profile image

TonieTate 7 years ago from Metro-Atlanta

Hi Dottie. I appreciate your hub and I give God all of the glory because I am able to live my life in peace and I am able to enjoy life. It takes practice to be able to have a positive outlook and not to focus on your circumstance


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA Author

I'm glad you found it Jmell! Thanks for stopping by.


Jmell profile image

Jmell 7 years ago from El Paso, Texas, USA

I needed this!


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA Author

Thanks countrywomen. It is nice that you help your friends with the packing. Sometimes that kind of work is tiresome. The weekend is even closer now for you to relax. Enjoy it while it lasts!


countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

Another 2 days before the weekend. Last weekend we helped some friends in packing. I am just looking forward to relaxing this weekend and loosen up. Thanks for this wonderful hub.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA Author

Thank you Lgali. I'm glad you found it to be helpful. It's always nice to see you :)


Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

very very helpful hub


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA Author

Thank you and Be Blessed too Daisy for all the love you give. I am so fortunate to have your kind of love here on HubPages.


dayzeebee profile image

dayzeebee 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

I'm letting my hair loose to love freely and live freely and bask in the beauty and wonder of life! Thank you for all the love you give. Be blessed:)


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA Author

Ahhhh! Getting lost....now you're talking. Thank you Benson for walking through!


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 8 years ago from Hong Kong

Oops. I almost walked over this nice one. Thanks. I am addicted to "Getting myself loosened up, and even lost". Great advice.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA Author

I do think about this quite often Ripplemaker (Michelle) and how very important as you say "especially when we start to forget" - brilliant Sis!


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

What a beautiful hub Dottie. These concepts are something to think about often and to remember esp when we start to forget. For instance, we can let go in certain instances and sometimes in other cases, it's so hard. So we try again. I was smiling at the bunnies. LOL This would be a good photo to have when we find ourselves holding on to things and getting stressed out. Life is indeed kind Sis Dottie and once we start seeing that...more good things come! Cheers. :)


torino70 profile image

torino70 8 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

Great hub Dottie.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA Author

Your Welcome. It must have been stressful working on your kidnapped series for so many weeks. I'm glad you stopped by Carol to loosen up.


cvaughn570 8 years ago

This is very good advice that I am sure I will be referring to again and again.

Thanks, Carol :-)


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA Author

It is always hard to let go of the parts we don't want because we really don't want to face the mess. I've learned through life experiences and practice that sitting in the mess and observing instead of doing can literally dissolve the mess. This is the paradox that is so hard to understand but is worth its weight in gold to learn.

Thanks Shirley for stopping by and sharing your thoughts :)


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Loved it, Dottie. 

Some people find it very hard to accept the idea that we are responsible for what happens to us, that we draw it to ourselves, and that we are responsible for our own emotions and reactions. 

What I find difficult is knowing and accepting those responsibilities, yet getting frustrated with myself at times when something happens to throw me off kilter.  I have the internal conflict because I know what's happening, why it's happening, but at that moment in time have trouble letting go of the parts I don't want.  Rationally, I don't understand why I'm having the problem when I know how to deal with it.  I've gotten much better over the years, but it's still a work in progress.

The part about not looking back at regrets, I agree with Marisue that that is a great passage.  It's impossible to go backwards (even though it feels like it), we always go forward.  I'm trying to learn not to be on a hampster wheel anymore and place things in front of me that are more in line with what makes me feel happy rather than sad or regretful.  Not always easy, but always worth it, IMO.

Great hub, Dottie.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA Author

I think the real key to life is understanding ourselves. I'm glad you enjoyed marisue and thanks too for your wisdom.


marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites 8 years ago from USA

Very interesting.. I believe when we understand ourselves, we can give to others more freely.  This is a journey of understanding, throughout our life! 

"Do not look back at regret. Regret only ties you to the old life level that doesn't know better and keeps you from the one that does."  

I loved your words throught out your hub, and especially those.  We beat ourselves up way too much and it takes away our today and tomorrows.

good wisdom to impart to us in this hub!!  =)

I will play your video often -- very soothing.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA Author

Thanks for stopping by again, that's v sweet too:)


compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

Thanks, Dotie, that's v sweet:)


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA Author

Thanks for passing through. I'm happy this was helpful to you.


Bob Ewing profile image

Bob Ewing 8 years ago from New Brunswick

thanks, this is very helpful.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA Author

Thank you compu-smart for stopping by.  Another way I loosen up is to stop by your birthday hubs, they are wonderful. 


compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

Very Inspiring and lots to think about! thankyou:)

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