How to Overcome Limitations

There’s a woman I know, who is in her nineties and who for this article I’ll call this Bessie. Bessie still laments that her parents didn’t have enough money for her to go to college. Because of this she didn’t get the job of her dreams and missed out on chances in life. Because life on the farm had to come first she didn’t get to do what she wanted.

That’s Bessie’s story anyway, and given her age it doesn’t seem likely she’ll change it now. Her mother has been dead for over 40 years and her father for around 30, yet Bessie still believes that it was because of them she didn’t get to do what she wanted in life.

And then there’s Nick Vujicic. This young man got married in February 2012. Two months later he went skydiving for the first time. While still a young boy he started a charity to raise money for his school. He has been giving motivational lectures since he was 19.

Nothing so unusual about getting married you may think, and plenty of people skydive these days. Even raising money for charity as a kid isn’t that unusual, though the lectures are an achievement, sure.

Oh, I forgot to say he has also written his life story: Life without Limits: Inspirations for a Ridiculously Good Life. And did I also forget to mention that Nick Vujicic has no limbs? He was born with no arms or legs and only one malformed foot.

You can see Nick in action in the Video below.

If you ever need a reminder that limits are mind-made, watch this astonishing young man.

What makes the difference between Nick and Bessie?

How is it that one person who apparently has so many disabilities can achieve so much, while someone else can achieve so little? And perhaps more importantly, how can someone in Nick’s position be happy enough to refer to his life as “ridiculously good” and say he is not disabled, while Bessie has taken anti-depressant medication on and off for 40 years?

Nick Vujicic is a Christian so perhaps that explains it? But Bessie is too, so that’s not it. In spite of apparently both having the same religion they have very different views on God. Bessie is pretty sure God is watching out for her sins and will punish her if she does anything wrong.

Nick Vijicic is pretty sure that God is watching out for him.

It would be easy to judge old Bessie and to say she should have let go of old grudges and lived the life she wanted, especially after her parents died. It would be easy, but my purpose in writing this is not to criticize, but to see what we can learn from these two people that can enable us to live our lives closer to Nick’s way than Bessie’s way.

Source

The key to overcoming limitations lies in our beliefs.

Bessie was born in an era where expectations for girls were low and she was born in a community where expectations in general were low. She felt constrained and so she has acted that out most of her life. These are some statements I have heard Bessie say:

“I’m stupid.”

“I had to stay home.”

“The animals always came first.”

“I cried myself to sleep and nobody cared.”

From this it’s reasonable to conclude she holds these beliefs:

I’m stupid. I am unloved/unlovable. I matter less than animals do.

Bessie has not considered that her beliefs might not be true.

Nick feels without limits, and repeatedly says that he can do anything he choses to do. He hasn’t always felt this way and as child became very depressed. At ten years old he tried to drown himself in the bath. What stopped him was realizing how upset his parents would be and how much he loved them. From there it was a slow process of learning not to focus on what he can’t do, but on what he can. He stopped believing what he calls, “the lies in the head.”

We all have lies in our heads, and for most of us the most powerful lie is the same one Nick faced: “I’m not good enough.”

Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

The first step to overcoming limiting beliefs such as that one is to realize it is a belief. If you simply believe something is true, it doesn’t occur to you to question it. But when you open to the possibility that it might not be true, or even that it might not to true in all circumstances, then change becomes possible. The human mind is amazing in its possibilities, and yet it keeps bringing us back to the same old stories if we aren’t careful. Bessie is so used to believing that she was prevented from living the life she wanted that she feels indignant if anyone suggests otherwise. “Of course I couldn’t have gone away,” she says. “What would my parents have thought!”

Our experiences and thoughts about those experiences form neural pathways in our brain and the more we repeat an action or thought the stronger the pathway becomes. Unless something happens to create a new pathway, that is. Even then, our thoughts frequently pull back towards the old way, at least for a time. So change doesn’t always come instantly as we waver between the old and new pathways, old and new ways of thinking. But it is possible.

What can we do to ensure we live our lives closer to Nick’s way than to Bessie’s way?

Things aren’t always how they seem to be

Is the sea really rising up in the distance - or did someone use a fisheye lens?
Is the sea really rising up in the distance - or did someone use a fisheye lens? | Source

Begin to notice your thoughts and beliefs.

It helps to write them down. If there is an aspect of your life that is less successful than you’d like, take some time write down as many beliefs you hold about this as you can. Don’t censor your thoughts or spend ages trying to come up with the right answers. The point of this exercise is to take an honest look at where you are now, a beliefs inventory.

When you read back over your list, you will almost certainly notice that some of your beliefs conflict with others. For instance many of us want more money, and we believe, “More money will make me happier.” But we also believe, “Rich people are greedy and selfish,” or, “Nobody likes rich people.”

Whichever aspect of your life you chose to focus on, if you aren’t getting what you want, it’s likely that you will find beliefs such as, “I don’t deserve it,” “I’m not good enough,” or “There’s no point hoping it will happen because then I’ll just be disappointed.”

Some people shun examining beliefs because they think it’s magical thinking to say that what we believe affects how our life turns out. I partly agree with that, in that if all you do is chant affirmations in the hope of drawing what you want to you it is not likely to work.

Source

Question your beliefs

If you examine your beliefs with the intention of seeing the truth and letting go of anything that stops you from living life to the full, then how you behave will change – and you are more likely to go beyond previous limitations.

I don’t know the exact process Nick used to question his beliefs, but a process that works well for me is The Work of Byron Katie. I recently had several different pieces of writing to do for a deadline, and due to other commitments I was behind. I started to feel anxious, and tired. Instead of pushing on, I stopped and wrote in my journal and noticed a recurring thought that was causing my anxiety.

That thought was: “I’ll mess it up; I always do.”

Here’s how my inquiry turned out:

Is it true?

“No.” (I had several recent successes, it was easy to see this thought wasn’t true.)

Next I answered the question:

How do you react when you think that thought?

“I feel anxious. Images of failure come into my mind. I imagine something happening to prevent me succeeding: sick kids, or illness for myself. I imagine making excuses and I feel unworthy. To counter this I try to push away the fear and to reassure myself with times I’ve succeeded, but the reassurance doesn’t last long before the fear comes back.”

I came to the fourth question in this process:

Who would you be without this thought?

“I’d see I can’t even know it would be best for me if things worked out the way I think they should – that for all I know not completing these assignments could be the best outcome for me.”

By now I felt much calmer, and instead of fighting any remaining fear, I welcomed it, with the result that it eased.

The final part of this process is to turn the original statement around and find 3 reasons why each turnaround is true.

“I will mess up; I always do,” became: “I won’t mess up. I don’t always do,” and, “I tidy up; I always do.”

Immediately after this, I realized there was a different way of tackling the assignments that meant I could work more productively and achieve the goal more easily.

This is what happens when we question our beliefs, and when we welcome the feelings that go along with those beliefs. Most of us spend a huge amount of energy avoiding that one particular belief that Nick Vujicic overcame. “I’m not good enough.” He now sees his purpose in life as helping others do the same.

Purpose

Having a sense of purpose is another aid to overcoming limitations. Parents have been known to lift cars to rescue a child trapped underneath, and every mother knows how it’s possible to go without sleep for days while in labor to give birth.

Nick Vujicic feels very strongly that his life has a purpose. He sees his purpose as helping others.

Helping Others

For many people besides Nick the strongest motivator of all is helping others. If you think that achieving your dreams will put you into conflict with or harm others, you are less likely to go ahead. (Unless you have a psychotic condition.) Bessie felt convinced that if she tried to achieve her dreams it would conflict with her parents, so she stayed home. She experienced conflict with her parents anyway, particularly her mother.

Nick Vujicic’s autobiography is available on Amazon

Allowing others to help us, feeling gratitude and a sense of abundance.

Although Nick Vujicic lives independently, his parents were very supportive when he was a child. From what he says about his parents and others it is clear he feels grateful and that he feels fulfilled in life.

Bessie does allow people to help her, and for some things she is grateful, but just as often she feels that whatever help she got isn’t enough and wants more. In other words, she feels a sense of lack much of the time.

Feel emotions and let them go.

Bessie has been holding on to resentment for most of her life, and has no idea that she could let it go. Often we hold onto resentment out of twisted sense of pride, and a belief that somehow letting go would let the other person off the hook. But as Bessie’s case clearly illustrates, she’s the only person on the hook. To be able to let go of an emotion we first need to be fully willing to accept and welcome it. Nick Vujicic did feel angry at God for a while, but he chose to let that go and instead of resenting what he didn’t have he chose to feel grateful for all he had.

When we stop seeing emotions as caused by something outside of us and begin to take responsibility for our feelings and our success or failure we start seeing opportunities in life where once we saw only obstacles to overcome. This is what enables us to overcome limitations.

More Examples of Overcoming Limitations by writers on HubPages

Steph Hicks, has written about her own experience of: Running Marathons and Other Races with Insulin Dependent Diabetes A very inspiring tale!

Ripplemaker has written about: The Path to Happiness: How I Found Happiness Within Myself

Billybuc has written about a man he finds inspiring, and I think you will too. The Human Experience: The Arthur Boorman Story

More by this Author


Comments 52 comments

nina64 profile image

nina64 4 years ago from chicago, Illinois

What a great hub. I've learned down through the years that we are our own greatest critics. It's amazing how we can allow our minds to talk ourselves out of certain situations in life. The mind is a powerful organ. We can use it to the best of our abilities to better our lives or vice versa!!! We can do positively anything if we put our minds to it.


Starmom41 4 years ago

great hub- thanks for writing it


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 4 years ago from Central Oklahoma

As a former boss loved to say: "Perception is everything".

I've known a few Bessies, but I also have the letters my great-grandmother Sallie wrote to my mother and her mother when she (Sallie) started college at the age of 83 because she decided she "didn't know enough"!

Not that it would do any good, but I'd love to put Bessie in the same room with Nick for 10 minutes!

Thanks for a GREAT hub! Voted up, awesome and beautiful! ;D


lifechangenow 4 years ago

that video makes you really think about life, but in a way that you should be grateful for every moment. great read!


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

Such valuable advice - and so true. Much of what we torture ourselves with is in our heads, and we have more control over ridding ourselves of those thoughts than we realize. Thanks for an enlightening hub, and for sharing the inspirational video!


donnaMhicks 4 years ago

Very thought provoking - interesting hub!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

What an inspiring hub! The advice you gave is so important to live a happy and fulfilled life. Up and awesome.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi nina64,

I was my own worst critic for decades and am so grateful for the pioneers who show us the way to get beyond that. You are absolutely right that the mind is a powerful organ and people like Nick Vijicic are such powerful examples of that.

Thanks very much for your comment.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Starmom41, thank you!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

JamaGenee, your great-grandmother was awesome. My father is a bit like that too, since he learned how to use a computer around the age of 80, and my mother was in her 70s when she did too. We’re never too old to learn, and Bessie could yet change, though I’m not holding my breath…

I like your idea of putting her in the same room as Nick, but I cannot imagine how she’d respond. I’ve a feeling she’d scold for not having on the right trousers or tell him to be careful on his skateboard.

Thanks very much for adding to this hub with the story of your Sallie.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi lifechangenow,

I’m glad you liked the video. I find it so inspiring. Thanks for your comment.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Marcy,

I am so pleased to share the video as I find Nick Vujicic so, so inspiring. When I see him it’s so obvious that we an overcome almost anything if we set our mind to it. You are so right that we have more control than we realise. Ironically most of us spend so much energy trying to control but in totally the wrong direction.

Thanks for your interesting comment.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi donnaMhicks,

Thanks for your kind comment.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Pamela99,

Thanks for your kind comment, and glad you enjoyed it.


Amy Gillie profile image

Amy Gillie 4 years ago from Indiana

This is wonderful advice, rooted in an amazing comparison. I have never heard of Nick, but I will make it a point to learn more. Thank you so much for sharing.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Amy,

I’m glad to have introduced you to Nick - at least on video. There’s quite a few of his videos on youtube, and definitely worth a look!

Glad you enjoyed the hub, and thanks for your kind comment.


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 4 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Melovy, you might be right about how Bessie would react if put in the same room with Nick! Wrong trousers? Be careful on your skateboard? lol!


stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68 4 years ago from Bend, Oregon

Wonderful, inspirational hub! I love Byron Katie's work and I often check my self-limiting statements against the tests you describe (is it true, what would I be without that thought, etc.) Bookmarked and tweeting. All the best, Steph


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dear Yvonne,

After reading this outstanding, informative and inspirational piece, it is clear to see how you have achieved a HubScore of 100! Congratulations...!

You have given a powerful comparison, showing the ability that we have to turn negative/ distorted thinking patterns and cognitions around...

Your opening header is most professional!

Voted UP & UABI-- really enjoyed this. Hugs, Maria


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 4 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Nick is such an inspirational soul and I never tire of watching his video over and over again. This is a beautiful hub on how to overcome our limitations! I agree about changing the beliefs that is not working for us! Voted up! Love and light and blessings to you Melovy... :)


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi JamaGenee,

The more I think about it, the more I’m sure she’d do that.

It’s funny and yet also sad. Even on the youtube comments some people have left unpleasant comments about Nick. I guess it makes some people feel guilty so see someone with so many disadvantages do what they are afraid to, so rather than face that they attack him. Thanks for stopping by again!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Steph,

Thanks for your comment and good to know you also benefit from The Work. It’s such a helpful process isn’t it? Thanks for tweeting too!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Maria,

Amazingly that Hubber score has been at 100 for over a day now. The first time it happened I took a screenshot. It’s fun, but I don’t think it means that much. Thanks for the congrats though!

I find Nick Vujicic so inspiring and he certainly shows what can be achieved when we turn our thoughts around. Thanks for noticing the header - I’ve overcome some technical limitations there! And thanks for your comment and the vote up too!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi ripplemaker,

Oh, I so agree, I never tire of watching him either. Thanks very much for your lovely comment and love and blessing to you too! I love your latest hub and will link to it here if that’s okay.


Tony L Smith profile image

Tony L Smith 4 years ago from Macon

Great Hub Melovy, Just today, I was dealing with needing to understand how to embrace your reality in the now, and set goals to change your life for the better. This hub helped.

to your victory, Tony


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 4 years ago from South Carolina

I so love the inspiring way that you write about overcoming limitations. This hub was particularly inspiring because I had never heard of Nick and the video of him was so powerful- one could just see how moved everyone in the audience was and the best thing was that you could see admiration and respect mixed in with the outpouring of love.

Voted up across the board.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Tony,

I am so pleased to read that this hub was useful to you. I think the dilemma you describe is shared by many people - I certainly used to feel that way too.

Thanks for you comment, and best wishes with your goals!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Gail,

I am so pleased to have introduced Nick to you. I can’t remember when I first came across him, but I do remember I was in awe. I agree it is so wonderful to see how the audience are so moved. There is so much for us to learn from Nick and others like him when we are able to open to that learning and I probably wrote this hub for myself as much as anyone because listening to Nick again was a great reminder to go beyond those imagined limitations.

Thanks very much for your comment and the vote up.


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Melovy,

beautiful read and inspirational too.

I agree..it's how we look at things help change our perception towards things in life. When i was struck with arthritis and had to quit my RA job I was pathetic but, then i tried to look at the positive side that I got time to see my kid grow up and I self discovered the hobby of writing within me...And here I am meeting up with all such great hubbers...cheers!

voted up as beautiful/awesome!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Ruchira

I didn’t realise you have arthritis and am sorry to hear that, though glad that you have managed to find the positive side of it! I think being “pathetic” is all part of the journey for some of us. (Maybe all of us?) I’ve certainly had my pathetic moments and am something of a later bloomer.

Thanks very much for your comment and vote up.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Hi Melovy - I am catching up and so glad I came across this hub. I think you are so talented at being rational and reasonable. I do experience bouts of anxiety...and the question I repeated ask myself is "ok so what is the very WORST thing that could happen if I do X" and I usually decided I can deal with the worst. For example, when I get nervous right before I hit the publish button - I think whatever I have written is horrible!

Then I think - 0k so what if it is? What is the worst thing that could happen? Someone might criticize me? Right...and I can handle that. Facing things I fear is hard but I always just get it over with. I find we spend so much time worrying about things that will never happen!

Excellent hub - you always help me learn stuff - even how to make hedgehog cakes:) lol


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi RHW,

Sorry to take so long to reply. I approved the comment this morning and then got distracted by an email or a husband, can’t remember which!

I think what you say here is great. Realising that we can cope with the worst is so, so helpful. What a great way to look at life. Years ago, I’d think that, and then I’d scare myself that the worst would happen, and so not do things I wanted to. But now I think “if I can cope with that I can cope with anything." (Mostly, I’m not always reasonable and rational by any means.)

I really enjoyed doing this hub and then other one about exceeding limitations because it let me see how important it is for us to learn from those people who have overcome great obstacles and gone on to find success (which in my book means happiness, not simply loads of money - though that’s okay too!)

I know what you mean about being nervous before you hit the publish button. I used to get that so bad when I first started writing on-line, and for a long time. I haven’t so much lately though. I think most writers probably feel that way and HubPages is a great place to overcome it as we get such lovely feedback.

Thanks so much for catching up, always good to see you!


urmilashukla23 profile image

urmilashukla23 4 years ago from Rancho Cucamonga,CA, USA

Nick`s story is really an inspiration. What a great article. Thanks for writing on this subject. Voted up!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Urmilashulkia, I’m glad you also found Nick’s story inspiring. Thanks for your comment.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and awesome. This is one super and inspirational hub. If we don't aspire to anything we will never be anything. Hats off to that wonderful young man. Yes if we strive to help ourselves God will be there for us and we must never lose faith. There is that saying Never say never. Passing this on and thanks for sharing.


kelleyward 4 years ago

Melvoy, this is an exceptional hub about two diverse ways of viewing life. I know people who have no true disease or disability who complain all the time about how fragile they are and then people like Nick who have major obstacles to overcome yet somehow they just don't see it that way. I'm a Christian and being a Christain alone will not end negative thinking. However the practice of what the Bible says, "you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free" is similar to Bryon Katie's question of "Is It true? Can I absolutely know that it's true?" both of these ideas hang on the truth. For me when I start in with negative thinking it's because I'm not living in the truth and instead I'm living in fear. Excellent article voted up and shared!


iamaudraleigh 4 years ago

You said it best here..."But when you open to the possibility that it might not be true, or even that it might not to true in all circumstances, then change becomes possible."

I too am looking for my sense of purpose in life.

An excellent hub! Voted up and shared indeed!!


LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Such a great hub, so inspiring! I have learned to be grateful for what I have regardless of where it's taking me, because of the lessons I have learned by seeing some individuals wasting their life due to a grudge they have had in the past! You can do Soooo much when you focus in the future and leave the past behind.

Thanks for such a wonderful reminder.

Voting up, and very useful!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Gypsy Rose Lee,

I am so pleased to have been able to share the story of this amazing young man with people here on Hubpages, and I am glad you feel inspired. And I agree with you that the saying never say never is worth repeating. Thanks for your comment.


cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

Such a beautiful hub. I LOVE inspirational stories like this and I simply can't get enough of them. I'm bookmarking this for later - I think I want to show my students this video, too. Thank you so much for compiling and sharing this. Many votes and shared. :)


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Kelley, what you say illustrates how much our minds limit us. Isn’t it amazing how some people just don’t even see themselves as overcoming obstacles sometimes when they have achieved so much? A friend and I have talked about how sometimes in a situation you just get on with what needs to be done and only afterwards look back and wonder how you’ve coped. I know you have diabetes, and so that’s an example of what I mean.

I love how you’ve likened Katie’s questions to what the Bible says because I think that there are so many similarities to what she says and what Jesus said. I’ve noticed that time and time again, and I really like what you say about noticing that negative thinking is not living the truth, but living in fear. Thanks for a great comment!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Audra,

I am so glad you picked that sentence. I have just read your latest poem, and truly the moment you open to possibility change begins to happen. It doesn’t always come in a straight line but it comes.

What if your purpose right now is simply to write poems and articles right here? That touches people, connects, and that’s what life is all about, I think. We think we have to find a sense of purpose but often it’s right there. You are good enough as you are.

Thanks very much for your thoughtful comment and wishing you well.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi LaThing,

How wonderful that you got to see from others how holding a grudge is so painful. You are so right that gratitude makes life feel so much more worthwhile. Thanks for you inspiring comment!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi cyndi,

I am so pleased you are going to share the video with your students. I agree stories like Nick’s are so, so inspiring and I also love them.

Thanks for your comment and for sharing.


Nare Anthony profile image

Nare Anthony 4 years ago

This is absolutely amazing Melovy! I learnt a lot, and especially this "Bessie has not considered that her beliefs might not be true." That is so true about me...Thank you for opening eyes :)


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Nare,

I’m so glad to read that you found it useful! I love to pass on what I’ve learned that makes life better. Thanks very much for your comment.


Michael J Rapp profile image

Michael J Rapp 4 years ago from United States

What a wonderfully inspirational Hub! I guess most of us are somewhere in between both of the stories, but we can all benefit from a few more positive thoughts in our lives.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Michael,

I agree with you that most of us are somewhere in between the stories, and I think the more we absorb the wisdom of the Nicks around us, the more those positive thoughts naturally come. Thanks for your comment and glad you enjoyed the hub.


Fennelseed profile image

Fennelseed 4 years ago from Australia

Melovy, this is a truly inspiring hub with doable suggestions that can make a difference. If Nick Vujicic can lead a wonderful and meaningful life without limitations anyone can. (limitations are usually self inflictions anyway) Even more so in today's world than in 'Bessie's' heyday though. I like your explanation of changing our beliefs systems and it's funny how all those excuses tend to come up and cloud our thoughts when we are under pressure to complete something.

Your hub has so much to offer, thank you. My votes, best wishes and sharing from Annie.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Annie,

Everything you have written here I agree with. I particularly like your point about excuses coming up when feeling under pressure. I notice that when I have limited time is when I am more likely to revert to old ways that don’t work for me.

I’m glad you found this inspiring and thanks very much for your comment.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Nick is a man to admire. Even with baby steps, we could do whatever we set our minds to do. It's our choice.

Excellent hub! Thank you for spreading the word!!!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK Author

Hi Sunshine625,

I am delighted to spread the word! And so glad you also find Nick worth admiring. I also agree that sometimes it is baby steps we need to take - we all do best when we go at our own pace rather than thinking we should be doing what others do. Thanks for your comment.

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