How can I overcome low self-esteem?

low self esteem
low self esteem

How to overcome low self-esteem?

I have found one service which is available everywhere on this earth.  If you can find a human being in a place, then you will find this service.  Only man can provide this service. The thing is that it is not only available everywhere, it is absolutely free. It is available 24 hours a day & 7 days a week.  It doesn't matter whether you are young or old, rich or poor, educated or non-educated, intelligent or unintelligent,  male or female, this service is available for you absolutely free of cost.  This service is available from parents, teachers, siblings, coaches, relatives, spouses, co-workers, enemies, friends, rivals and all the people you encounter in your day to day life. It is available from the very beginning of your life till to the end of your life.   You may be wondering what is this service.  It is none other than the Criticism.

Generally accepted psychological research statistic says that by the time one reaches the age of 18, s/he was told "No" about 150000 times and continually told them that they are not good as others.  They were told that they are too tall, too fat, stupid, ugly, lazy, too slow, careless, too skinny, too short, less smart than others etc.  It makes them to think that they are exactly same as told over and over again.

We often expect far more from others than we expect from ourselves.  That is why we criticize others even though we are not perfect.

Many times we find ourselves doing the same mistake.  We try to hide it.  Because we do not want it to be exposed.   But when someone else messes up with the same mistake,  we are ready with the jeers.

When you are having happiness or success or feeling good about yourself, what do others around you'll do often?   They are there to knock you down.

When you are having bad times or feeling bad about yourself, they'll do the same thing. They are there to knock you further down.  They will remind you of all that you have done wrong in the past.

I read about a story of of a women who had met her childhood friend after a long time in the bus stop while she was returning from her work.  They were very happy to meet again.  Her friend was in a short visit in that city and will be returning back to her city the next day.   So they decided to spend some time in the coffee house as they have many thing to share which they experienced in the past years.  They seated comfortably in a corner of the coffee house to share good and bad things happened in their life.  They were talking about many things and were ignorant about the time. They spend few hours talking about their marriage, kids and carrier etc. When they realize they were too late, they decided to leave and exchanged their telephone numbers for keep in touch with eachother.

The next day when the friend who was visiting the city called up to know the reaction of her friends husband for reaching home too late.  Her friend replied "He was very angry and got Historian"

The friend thought that her friend mistakenly said "Historian" instead of "Hysterical".

To clarify that her friend again asked "Has he got Hysterical?"

Then the replay came.  "No,  I said he got "historian" then she explained "I meant it! Historian"  he started to remind me of all the bad things I have done from the very first day of our marriage.  And they both laughed.

Many times in our life, it will happen.  People who are close to us,  constantly remind us about the things which went wrong.

We don't get a pat on our back for a job well done, no good feelings for your success. No encouragement.   Only hits where it hurts.

That is why many of us feel bad about ourselves.  We take all that "No's" and "you cant's"  and "you are not good enough's",  which  we've heard many times in our life and internalize them.  We believe it.


Then, even though we are doing good, we  don't feel good about ourselves.

Then, when we get a pat or a compliment, we immediately think either "I am not that good" or "what do they want from me?"  Something is up, that is why they are appreciating!

The negative appreciation that we received in the past made us think like that.

Television increase the damage.  In every scene we see impossibly good looking people living or working in amazingly beautiful places.  And we believe that there are people who are faster, productive, smarter, intelligent, stronger, better and more beautiful than us.

The end result is the low self esteem.

How many of us are happy about ourselves. Happy about the way we live, the way we work, the way we talk, the way we behave, the life we live our life, the relationship we have, the work we does.

A shift in what we listen and see can boost our self-esteem.

Encouraging words, appreciation, love, respect etc. can make us feel good and comfortable.  One of the best way to boost your self-esteem is to repeatedly say to yourself some self empowering words like:

~-* I'm doing what I love and I love what I do
~-* I look for fun in everything and I find it
~-* I am fueled by the desire to be the best that I can be
~-* It is natural for me to set and achieve my goals.
~-* My creative mind is the foundation to my success.
~-* I recognize and use my strengths and skills to reach all my goals.
~-* I enjoy taking daily steps to turn my dreams into reality

These are some examples.  You can create your own words according to your needs and repeat that words.  Saying these words repeatedly to yourself will help to flow the energy into your life.

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Comments 61 comments

CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 6 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

Hi Jacobkuttyta, very thought provoking Hub. As a hypnotherapist, I find that the root of a lot of clients problems is lack of self esteem. Unfortunately, when we don't like ourselves, its very difficult to love other people properly, so the cycle continues.


RevLady profile image

RevLady 6 years ago from Lantana, Florida

Thanks for a nicely written hub. For Christians, self-worth and esteem is directly related to our relationship with God. We know (or should know) we are valuable because of the high price God paid for us through the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ. Blessings!


H P Roychoudhury profile image

H P Roychoudhury 6 years ago from Guwahati, India

Great hub. He who loves himself, loves god. Thanks.


"Quill" 6 years ago

I agree with RevLady, fail to have a personal relationship with Christ and you will struggle in self esteem. I know who I was and who I have become and that is simple...a child of God who has a Father that loves me unconditionally. Now that is where self esteem comes from, not from man or the world and what they may say about me.

Blessings


ediggity profile image

ediggity 6 years ago

Cool Hub, very good info.


mailxpress profile image

mailxpress 6 years ago from New York

Very well put. I do see your point and do agree to a point. I have had people knock me down but I let them, I learned not to let them and the result was and still is I don't see them much anymore. I turned my life around for the better and pretty much am a happy content person. Not many people in my life are content with themselves. I find many people complain because of their low-self-esteem and unhappiness. Fix it and if you have to tell yourself that in the mirror empowering words do it. Good Hub.

mailxpress


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California

Great hub! Thanks. This is a very important subject. People do not realize that

"self esteem" is a major issue. Best, GPAGE


youcanwin profile image

youcanwin 6 years ago

Thanks for the educating hub


Cari Jean profile image

Cari Jean 6 years ago from Bismarck, ND

Great hub - self esteem is known to be the root to many of our problems in life. As a Christian, I believe the best way to overcome low self-esteem issues is to get in the Word of God and read Bible verses about how God sees you instead of how you see yourself and soon you will start to see yourself how God sees you.


Sandi 3m 6 years ago

All very true, thanks for writing this. I have a friend that very much needs to read this.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois

Great hub! Isn't it the truth? People don't get rewarded for the great things they did in life and they get punished or scolded for what they did wrong. It happens every day unfortunately, whether at work, or at home. It would be nice if we can overlook the bad with the good! Thanks for the great hub!


mistywild profile image

mistywild 6 years ago from Houston, TX (Proud Texan)

wonderful hub! thanks for sharing.


fishskinfreak2008 profile image

fishskinfreak2008 6 years ago from Fremont CA

Some great ideas


hot dorkage profile image

hot dorkage 6 years ago from Oregon, USA

Here is my synopsis. Everyone lies. The media lies bigtime. Most people aren't really my friends. I am plenty good. Screw 'em all, they can't make me unhappy.


My Facebook profile image

My Facebook 6 years ago from London, United Kingdom

Ver well written. It is so true that wehn you do something bad it will always be remembered. But good things are forgotton of so easily.

Thanks for the great article.


tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 6 years ago

This very issue is the inspiration for several pieces that I have written about the "power" of words. I have struggled all of my life with "self esteem" issues due to the many negative, hurtful things said by my parents to me early in life and throughout my first 17 years. Those things I internalized, just as you said, and adopted as my "truth" because that is what a child does. Mine has been a life long journey of unlearning and relearning who I truly am, in God's eyes and in my own. The affirmations you refer to have been part of that process for me. I have discovered that when I am busy hating myself, I cannot have a relationship with God for I am in direct conflict with His Creation...and cannot have a healthy relationship with others when I do not have one with myself...I end up allowing myself to be a victim, because that Is what I feel I deserve. This article is a very important one for all the world to read. At the age of 56 now, I am more at peace with myself and God than ever before, take great care with my words so that I am never guilty of damaging the self esteem of others, and strive to be the best me I can. Thank you for this powerful piece of work.


proudgrandpa profile image

proudgrandpa 6 years ago from Charlotte, NC

Hello Jacobkutta,

You are my kind of lady. My wife and I have had the privilege of know Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul guy) and He says Self Esteem is the common denominator for humanity. I am brave enough to disagree, I think it is worthiness. I will be sharing your writing with those I love and care about. Thanks, NEIL I write a blog www.CaringGrandparents.com :-)


gd2knw profile image

gd2knw 6 years ago

Nice hub Jacob.... i can relate to most of the things you speak about and it is so true glad to be a fan.


PoeticWill18 6 years ago

You're very intelligent.


T. S. Unami profile image

T. S. Unami 6 years ago from Honolulu

I was able to instantly connect myself with this hub. Powerful writing!!!


ajbless48 profile image

ajbless48 6 years ago from Clearwater

Hello, I have just read your blog. It is so good! I am so glad to meet you here too. It is so exciting to meet a strong believer like you in the other part of the world. Thank you so much for becoming my fan. It helps build up my courage to write.:)


dyesebel10 profile image

dyesebel10 6 years ago from USA

Good hub.. thanks for sharing.


Tony Ballatore profile image

Tony Ballatore 6 years ago

Lately, I have noticed many people acting as though complements, or kind words somehow diminishes them, so their words are critical, and derogatory. I have found that kind words for others makes me feel better about myself; compliments when well deserved, even better. So with that typed...

Nicely done, Jacobkuttyta. Thank you very much.

Tony Ballatore


samwnr 6 years ago

Very nice hub as if you catch the pulse of people with low self esteem very well written wonderful hub.Keep it up with your writing and use the power of pen to bring a difference in others lives.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK

Lovely read. I think our self-esteem is affected (positively or negatively) by the people we have around us. That includes, friends, family and even people at work.

Also, one simple negative word could affect one's self esteem. If only people could change their mindset, they will have no problems with self-esteem.

Thanks.


losestomachfat profile image

losestomachfat 6 years ago from Australia

very deep hub but full of valuable lessons. I think not enough people 'self evaluate' themselves, that is monitor what they say and do and try to always become better human beings.


poetlorraine 6 years ago

there is so much self help around, and still some of us struggle with low self esteem. This was a practical and helpful hub


tobey100 profile image

tobey100 6 years ago from Whites Creek, Tennessee

Great hub. Even though my problem is the exact opposite (too much self esteem) I still thought it excellent.


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India Author

Thanks all for your visits and comments


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India Author

Thanks all for your visits and comments


HellKatz profile image

HellKatz 6 years ago

Jacobkuttyta - Interesting read.

Thank you :)


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India Author

Thanks HellKatz for your nice comment and visit


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 6 years ago

You hit the jackpot with this one.I wish people could understand how they hurt others by saying negative critisms to others all there lives.I delt alot with it from my older brother.It wasn't till I was older that I told myself he was wrong and he has no control over my life.


rarebird profile image

rarebird 6 years ago

I read this hub quite later after its posting but its value is a fact. I thank you too.


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India Author

Thanks Dream on and Rarebird for your visit and comment.


Annie4 6 years ago

Wonderful. Self esteem is a struggle for so many of us. It is so much easier to find fault than bolster the good...maybe that is what we thought we heard growing up. Thank you for the reminder.


Annie4 6 years ago

Wonderful. Self esteem is a struggle for so many of us. It is so much easier to find fault than bolster the good...maybe that is what we thought we heard growing up. Thank you for the reminder.


fyxer profile image

fyxer 6 years ago from mt vernon

why do you have a picture of angelina jolie instead of your own picture,maybe that is a sign of low self-esteem?


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India Author

Thanks fyxer for yur comment.

Regarding your question, please note it's a marketing strategy.

Thanks for your visit and comment.

God bless you.


abalinga profile image

abalinga 6 years ago from South Australia

A marketing strategy. Build your public profile based on a lie? What result will that generate with potential customers? Angelina doesn't make it seem like " I am fueled by the desire to be the best that I can be". I definitely felt that I was being misled although I admit I had to ask whose picture it was.


yogitha 6 years ago

thanks a lot


2besure profile image

2besure 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

It is good to know that you can over-come low self-esteem! Voted up.


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India Author

Thanks all for your visit and comment


Rod Marsden profile image

Rod Marsden 6 years ago from Wollongong, NSW, Australia

There are things here worth consideration. There is a definite connection between low self-esteem and clinical depression. Working toward a goal does help as you have said. A series of goals is even better. Plus saying the right things to yourself has got to help.


purpleangel47 profile image

purpleangel47 6 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

Self-esteem, or the lack of it is definitely a widespread issue that starts a lot earlier than we realize. And if nobody catches it in us, then it becomes a cycle where we might not catch it in our children.

Thank you for such a thougtful article


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India Author

Thanks Rod Marsden for your visit and comment.

Also thanks to Purpleangel47 for your comment and visit.

May God bless you


candy 6 years ago

it wz really interesting n...great...!!!!

thank u...!!!!


niddz profile image

niddz 6 years ago from saudi arabia

realy nice...


askpowers 6 years ago

Great hub! Thanks.


drcrischasse profile image

drcrischasse 6 years ago from NH/Foxboro

Nicely done, my friend


Low Self-Esteem 6 years ago

Great hub! Focusing on building a stronger sense of self-esteem is essential - because low self-esteem robs you of your spiritual, your emotional, your psychological and your physical energy.


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India Author

Thanks all for your positive feedback and visit.

Many blessings to you all!!!


ACSutliff profile image

ACSutliff 6 years ago

You are very right that the people in our lives constantly remind us of all the bad things that have happened. I completely agree with you and I love your attitude. I can't wait to self-empower myself. :)


Daniela Daljac profile image

Daniela Daljac 5 years ago from AUSTRALIA

This is one great hub!! Thanks!!!


hot dorkage profile image

hot dorkage 5 years ago from Oregon, USA

Yes I think one more thing, as long as you look to others for validation you will never get it, because other people are too busy looking for validation for themselves and don't give it to you. Why do people look to others for validation, it's because they don't trust themselves to know. So when I evaluate myself I say OK am I really as good as so & so, and if not, how are they better and how can I improve, or if so, good for me I am OK, I don't need somebody else to tell me.

This is a great hub and I can tell you that I used to think words are just noises but they are powerful, and your brain gets the message that you are telling it, so say out loud: "I am an awesome being, made in the image of God, and I am worthy of love and respect, and I can achieve whatever I really truly want to achieve."


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 5 years ago from Delhi, India Author

Thanks all for your love and appreciation. It makes me more humble.

Thanks a lot for your kind visits and comments.


spsingh profile image

spsingh 5 years ago from iwebeffects.com

nicely written bookmarked!!!!Most of persons with low self esteem know all these facts but it is hard for them to apply in life !!!


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Yes, self-esteem needs much to grow, but it doesn't take much to destroy it. we all need constructive criticism, but a thoughtless comment or act can leave us scared for life. good informative hub. Voted up.


Sheepsquatch profile image

Sheepsquatch 4 years ago from Springfield, MO

Criticism can lower self-esteem, but being social and having conversation can help raise it. It is like they cancel each other out.


Mel Carriere profile image

Mel Carriere 17 months ago from San Diego California

My wife gets historian on me every night. I think one has to construct a protective bubble around oneself and dismiss the damaging criticism as irrelevant to feelings of self worth. In other words, we have to be happy inside our skin. Great hub.


Mel Carriere profile image

Mel Carriere 17 months ago from San Diego California

My wife gets historian on me every night. I think one has to construct a protective bubble around oneself and dismiss the damaging criticism as irrelevant to feelings of self worth. In other words, we have to be happy inside our skin. Great hub.

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