How to stay Cool When You're Hot

and you've seen my photo so you know I'm talking about neither style nor looks

Have you ever had to work in a room that was either too hot or too cold but you kept your mouth shut and put up with it for one of the following reasons?

a) you were outnumbered by colleagues who insisted the temperature was 'just right'

b) one of your co-workers played the sympathy card and claimed to be poorly

c) you're a nice guy who doesn't like to make a fuss

d) you're a wimp or

e) all of the above?

Whatever the reason, I bet you allowed yourself to be beaten into submission. What makes me so sure? Because you're still reading. If you were the sort of person who refuses to accept anything less than the optimal, you would have dismissed this 'loser's drivel' after the first few words. And you, in turn, know I'm just like you because a Dominant Type wouldn’t even have registered such a trivial situation as a problem. They wouldn't deem it worthy of discussion and they certainly wouldn't write about it.

So did I suffer in silence, making myself even hotter with the flames of suppressed rage. Did I internalise my suffering and condemn myself to a future of bed wetting and probable 'unsub' status a la 'Criminal Minds'?

No I did not. I did what any right-thinking, middle-aged dentist in my situation would do - I wrote a performance poem (Naturally).

HOT

It’s hot hot hotter than hot

Hotter than the hottest thing you’ve got

Hotter than a dumpling in a pot of hot pot

Hotter than a bucket of dragon snot.

It’s hot hot hotter than hot

Hotter than a chilli that chilly is not

Hotter than a car that gets stolen a lot

Hotter than the brain of a really hot swot.

It’s hot hot hotter than hot

Hotter than the pus in the Devil’s spots

Hotter than news of government plots

Hotter than the Queen in bikini shots.

It’s hot hot hotter than hot

Hotter than lots of things I’ve forgot.

It’s hot hot hotter than hot

It’s hotter than that

But that’s

All

I’ve

got.


And I felt much better. In fact, the point at which I stopped wanting to give the world a Chinese burn is pretty obvious, because that's when I ran out of ideas. This would tend to support the view that you have to suffer for your art. Well, I've got the suffering down. I'll work on the 'Art' part next time I have some frustrations to vent - so hopefully it'll be a long time before the next poem (Please be aware that if you agree with this sentiment, you'll only be encouraging me).

Tom Nolan is a dentist with over 30 years’ experience.

If you found this article useful, you should check out his book

Watch Your Mouth – An Owner’s Manual.

Also available as a download. This book is packed with practical advice and will tell you everything you need to know to keep your mouth healthy, trouble-free and beautiful for the rest of your life.

You can get in touch via Tom's practice: The Dentist in Town

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RootDoc 7 years ago

Tom,

I enjoyed the poem! It would be great to post this beside the thermostat in some places I know. Steve

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