How to win a fight
Step 1: Attempt to Avoid Fighting
The best advice I can give anyone who wants to learn how to win a fight is to avoid getting in a fight in the first place. If you're over the age of 18, you could end up in serious legal trouble if you do win. That means losing money and possibly a few months of your life in jail.
Avoid a fight by using your words. Fighting is juvenile, so you should make your opponent know that. Say something like "is this 6th grade, you really want to resort to punching one another?" You can embarrass your opponent into backing down by making him seem like less of a man for wanting to fight.
Work out more to avoid a fight
A lot of people think they'll fight better because they work out and look strong. While this is likely true, it's also true that fewer people will want to fight them because they look strong. So keep a strong and toned appearance to avoid morons wanting to pick fights with you.
How to fight when you just can't avoid it
Some people are absolute idiots and can't be reasoned with. If you must fight them, here are some things that will help you come through without a concussion or worse:
- Use the correct stance. You'll notice most boxers stand with their left foot forward and their right foot back. That's because they're right-handed, like you most likely are. The thing is, you aren't in a boxing ring and you aren't wearing boxing gloves. You aren't going to be fighting for 12 rounds, either. Boxers stand that way so they can get their entire body into a hook with their strong hand. You aren't going to be doing that. You should stand with your stronger side forward and your weaker side back. Most fights only last a punch or two for each fighter before people break it up, so you can't wait to get in that knockout blow. You shouldn't even want that knockout blow. If you knock your opponent out there's a strong chance you'll be charged with battery and have to face a few months in the slammer. You want to disable your opponent briefly so they'll stop wanting to fight.
- Now that you're in your stance with your strong side forward, you need to know how to punch. Unlike boxing or MMA fighting, you shouldn't make a fist and aim for the face. Unless you've punched a lot of things in your life, your hands are very sensitive. If you ram your metacarpals into someone's hard skull you very well might break your hands. Instead, fold the tips of your fingers in and make upward strikes with the base of your hand. Aim for the soft tissue of the nose. If you connect, there's about a 99% chance you'll cause bleeding but not a serious injury. This should cause your opponent to stop fighting.
- Fighting is also about defense. You can block most serious blows by keeping your hands up and about a foot in front of your face. If you're opponent charges you, you've got your strong side forward so the key is to use your strong arm to take your opponents momentum and move him away from your body. Do not try to take the full force of the charge, because you'll probably end up on your back in a position that is hard to defend.
- Grabbing a collar is not considered fighting dirty and it won't give your opponent a serious injury. It will allow you to move their upper body around at will, which gives you a big advantage. Anyone who has every worked as a bouncer at a rowdy bar already knows this. I knew a guy who used to rip about one collar every night he worked. He could reach into a fight, grab the collar, and pull one guy away from an engaged opponent. End of fight.
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