Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women - Pregnancy Quotes and Jokes

Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women

Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women. I like to read humor and laughter about anything pertaining to the world around us -- people, places, situations and anything which will make me laugh. That's what I do at the start of the day I go to sites to read about humor plus I also subscribed to these sites.

Have you heard about humor therapy yes it helps. One author and sociologist once said, the world is a stage where there are many actors and actresses just acting or acting funny.

Pregnancy is a joyful experience, some women would say this is the most exciting part of their lives. Sometimes it can be stressful for some as they are anticipating the changes in their body. There is physical and emotional overloads as the hormones are changing in the body of a pregnant woman.

It is a stage in life where some crazy things happen to you, you crave for the unusual foods, other times you are nauseous when you smell foods. All in all, it is a challenging experience and they say that it is what makes a woman.

Funny Quotes about having a Baby

"Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws, I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby, and I can go out" By Matthew Broderick

"Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it"
By Marshall McLuhan

"When choosing a name for your baby, go to the back door and shout it out a few times"

http://media.photobucket.com/image/pregnant/nyett2/pregnant.jpg?o=365
http://media.photobucket.com/image/pregnant/nyett2/pregnant.jpg?o=365

Pregnant women are the butt of jokes and in this hub I gather some humor quotes and funny jokes about pregnant women in the hope that when women and men in their lives read this one, they will smile and share a laughter together. Laughter is the best therapy and medicine and it is free, so come on read this hub "Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women" and you will surely laugh.

Humor Quotes and Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women

Question and Answer About Pregnant Women:

  • Question : The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
    Ans -- ‘Cause you’re fatter than they are -- By Anonymous
  • Question : What is the grasp reflex?
    Ans --- The reaction of new father’s when he sees new mother’s breasts -- By Anonymous
  • Question : What are night terrors?
    Ans --- Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she’s pregnant again.
  • Question : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    Ans --- When the kids are in college.
  • Question : Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?
    Ans --- When the sex is between your husband and another woman.
  • Question : Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    Ans --- Yes, pregnancy.

Funny Jokes About Pregnant Women

On Naming babies :

One pregnant lady was in an accident and she woke up in the hospital. She noticed she was not pregnant anymore and asked the nurse what happened to her baby.

And the nurse replied -- -"You have two healthy babies, a boy and a girl!" The lady said, "Oh, I must name them," but the nurse said, "You were unconscious, so we called your brother, and he named them!" The lady said, "But he's as dumb as a box of rocks! So what are their names?-
The nurse said, "The girl is called "Denise." The woman replied, "Well that is a pretty name, so what did he name my boy?"

The nurse replied, "Denephew!"

You shouldn't ask or say these to your gf/wife after giving birth :

  • Hey Baby -- "Got milk?"
  • Honey please move over, don't block the TV
  • "Honey, maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Girlie."

A Lady Pregnant From A Foreign Country

Once there was a lady from a foreign country who could not understand much English wasn't feeling well and went to see her doctor. -- After examining her he said, --You are pregnant. Please understand that you have an insufficient passage and if you have a baby it will be a miracle.--
Then, the lady rushed home crying and told her husband, "The doctor says I'm pregnant and I have a fish in the passage and if I have a baby it will be a mackerel!".

______________________________

Here at HubPages there are many people who write about funny things - hilarious stories and quotes -- funny quotes and one of them is Mr Nice. Take a look at his funny jokes, humor and quotes about anything from love, friendship and different funny situations around the globe .

This is not a funny quote I like this one by Van Gogh

"If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of god, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby, when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on it’s cradle."
--- By Vincent Van Gogh

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Comments 83 comments

jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England

Thanks for making me smile-Loved the Vincent Van Gough quote


RevLady profile image

RevLady 6 years ago from Lantana, Florida

Humor is indeed medicinal. Thanks for the smiles!

Forever His,


kowality profile image

kowality 6 years ago from Everywhere

Pregnant Women always have this glow about them. It can't be easy, but it takes the awkwardness away when they joke about their situation. Very entertaining Hub.


jamexican profile image

jamexican 6 years ago from oceanside,ca

those were so cute!!! made me laugh...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

I think of my mother warning me when I was a mean teen: "just wait till you have mean kids of your own."

She believed in "laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone". She would have loved that "diaper" spelled backwards spells "repaid".


Anath profile image

Anath 6 years ago

nice ones pretty, some of them just reinforced my anti-baby stand LOL


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Miata, This hub was so funny. I really enjoyed it.


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 6 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

Hi Miata, Great hub.

Are these pregnancy hubs a labour of love?

Cheers,

TOF.


anglnwu profile image

anglnwu 6 years ago

LOL funny. Any pregnant woman could use these quotes to brighten their day. Thanks for doing all the work, now, all we have to do is sit back and enjoy a little laugh.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

Thank you for a good laugh.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Thank you hello, nice to see you around here always, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

My angel, nice to see you here, Thanks always, Sit back and laugh hehe, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

The Old Firm, well, am not preggers Sir, and yes they are funny LOL and labor of love, hehe. Thank you,

Actually I joined the 60 day challenge here at HP ahich obliges me to write a series of hubs on one topic, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Thank you Pam, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Hi Anath hehe, come on it is nice to have a baby, just one, LOL Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Thank you Mam Nellie, your mom sounds a very nice lady, and you had a meany teen life LOL< but youre a graciuos lady, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

thank you jamexican, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

thank you kowality, it is nice to have laugh at times, and you're correct for some women making fun at themselves is just funny, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Thank you REVLADY, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

hi jayjay, I love the Van GOgh quote as well, Maita


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

Fun stuff! And diaper spelled backwards - never made that connection - how clever.

Thanks so much, Maita, for some good laughs and new humor!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

thanks BK, Maita


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

Is it possible to be just a little bit pregnant? Hey Ate' Why all the fixation on pregnancy? Your not preggers again are you?

If so I know it can't be mine. Whew!

KUYA Dave.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

No Kuya I am not preggers and you are not the daddy hehehe, Maita


theherbivorehippi profile image

theherbivorehippi 6 years ago from Holly, MI

lol...I loved the "when the kids are in college" answer! That's awesome! :)


Mystique1957 profile image

Mystique1957 6 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My sweet, Sweet Kaibigan... You have really made me laugh! Good help to ease the pre-labor stress, especially on the fathers, hahahaha! This has been rated up, bookmarked and stumbled! Salamat, for sharing, Normita!

Warmest regards and infinite eternal blessings,

Your kaibigan,

Al


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I can't stop laugh. This hub very funny. Including funny jokes and humor quotes. I am glad to share this hub to my friend who pregnant. thank you very much for making this world so colorful and funny indeed. To appreciate that, I'll rate this Up!

Prasetio


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 6 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines

Great Stuff pdh hi prasetio...


barryrutherford profile image

barryrutherford 6 years ago from Queensland Australia

HA HA !!


Sandyspider profile image

Sandyspider 6 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

Wonderful. Thanks for the laughs.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Hi Herbi, I was laughing at that one as well, hehe, maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Sandy, thanks dear, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Hi Barry, Thanks, it made you laugh! maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Hi GH, you're back, good, maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Prasetio, share it with your friend, and thank you, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Mystique it is always a blessing to have you here in my hub, Thank you so much and take care, I am glad it made you laugh, hehe, Maita


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America

Hi Maita,

Thanks for your recognition & appreciation for Mr. Nice as a funny guy…..hahaha. That was so sweet of you; after all you are a best friend.

“Be happy. It's one way of being wise.” Sidonie Gabrielle

It was William Shakespeare who wrote a poem “All the World's a Stage” and he divided into seven stages of life.

Here are the links to poem & a Youtube video.

All the World's a Stage by William Shakespeare Original Poem

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_the_world%27s_a_s...

Youtube link is poem reading with acts very interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn05qMTMjIE

Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?

Ans --- When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

I think husband or BF should create this situation to produce a difficult labor……hahaha.

You shouldn't ask or say these to your gf/wife after giving birth:

Hey Baby -- "Got milk?"

Ans – Yes darling but you can’t have it………hahaha. You shouldn’t ask because you cannot have the milk.

Because

~Milk is for babies, when you grow up you have to drink beer. ~Arnold Swchartz

Hahahahahaha……thanks for making rest of my weekend. Good composition of funny quotes & jokes about pregnancy. It’s only the mothers who know the joy of pregnancy.

~Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. ~Buddha

I really enjoyed your hub & have no words to thank you for being a wonderful friend. Have a wonderful weekend. Always thumbs up for you.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Hey Mr Nice, I owe you a lot already, you make me always smile and one nice write up about you is just a must, hehe, Next time it will be a full hub,

You never fail to amuse me and make me smile, that video links are superb isn't it, world is a stage and we are all acting up hehe, and nice read by Shakespeare,

I like the quote by Buddha

and you are so hilariously funny about milk hehe, they don't need it beer only hehe

and about creating a difficult labor for your gf or wife, hehe, cruel, just kidding,

Have a nice weekend, Take care Tony, will visit your hubs later, I am trying to finish my 10 more hubs for the challenge then I am done with writing afterwards -- promoting, Thank you, you're an inspiration, Maita


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

This was a great hub and good for a laugh. Thanks.

Mike


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Thank you Mike, Maita


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America

Hi Maita,

You owe me a nothing & you don't have to write a funny hub about me to make fun of me....hahaha all you owe me is a big smile.

~If you smile at someone, they might smile back. ~Author Unknown

BUT

~If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine.~ hahaha:D

Sorry I didn't mean that "I think husband or BF should create this situation to produce a difficult labor"

I think husband or BF should create this situation only when it is difficult to bring a labor.....hahaha

~Smiling is infectious; you can catch it like the flu. Someone smiled at me today, And I started smiling too. ~Author Unknown

I think 10 more hubs are just a piece of cake for you. I know you can do it. Enjoy rest of your day.

~A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Thank you for the funny hub, Maita. Now I have a new funny favorite joke ... Denise and Denephew. Love it.


lovelypaper profile image

lovelypaper 6 years ago from Virginia

Shouting the name out the back door is a good idea. Great hub.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Hi Mr Nice, thanks LOL, your comments are just so funny, How are you today? I understand your comment about labor and the hubby, hehehehe, OK, Ok here's my smile for you, biggest smile, Thank you and I will wait for your smile too, Thanks for the quotes Tony, Maita


sord87 6 years ago

Hi maita ,now i understand why these few days your hub keep appearing in front page with almost similar topic,Good luck to your 60 days challenge.

A good article to stop hubbing and laugh out for a while, LOL(especially when someone having a mackerel baby),thank you!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Thank you drbj, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Hi sord, thank you I made you laugh hehe, Maita


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

yes I think so too love lovelypaper! Thank you!


Nady profile image

Nady 6 years ago from Toronto

cute hub :)


AmandaB profile image

AmandaB 6 years ago from Middletown

Nice Hub! Very adorable!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US Author

Amanda and Nady, thanks, Maita


mazecordblood 6 years ago

Hi Pretty Dark Horse,

Share this contest with your readers.

Send us your funniest pregnancy story!

In 200 words or less tell us about a funny story that happened to a pregnant you, friend, or loved one for the chance to win free cord blood banking or $1000 cash!

Entries are accepted till Monday October 25, 2010 at 12pm EST.

The entry form is here:

http://www.mazecordblood.com/cordblood-contest.php

Keep up the good work.

Sara Reed


MadelynFinley profile image

MadelynFinley 6 years ago from United States

Cute! Love the one about diapers spelled backwards!


Sunnyglitter profile image

Sunnyglitter 6 years ago from Cyberspace

This was funny! I enjoyed reading it.


mythbuster profile image

mythbuster 6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

Great hub, prettydarkhorse! I definitely laughed. I really like the Marshall McLuhan quote about Diaper=repaid.


Ivorwen profile image

Ivorwen 6 years ago from Hither and Yonder

The answer to 'grasp reflex' is sooooo true! LOL


bane.hellister profile image

bane.hellister 6 years ago from South Carolina

That was a good read..Thank You


Uriel profile image

Uriel 6 years ago from Lebanon

This was really a killer :P


mythbuster profile image

mythbuster 6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

Haha! Maita, I just came back to read the jokes again. Today I like the "When the kids are in college" response/joke.


reemhmam profile image

reemhmam 6 years ago

I wish you happy times all the time


milenaamr profile image

milenaamr 6 years ago

This hub was special. I had fun. Thanks. Now pregnancy have different face.


LeslieAdrienne profile image

LeslieAdrienne 5 years ago from Georgia

Funny hub....thanks for sharing


jacobkuttyta profile image

jacobkuttyta 5 years ago from Delhi, India

thanks for the laugh


roadrunner0924 profile image

roadrunner0924 5 years ago from Denver, Colorado

I need that this morning thanks!


Dchosen_01 5 years ago

I don't know what to say.... These are classic and indeed very funny. I was trying to pick one or two to tel you how funny they are, but I had to give up as I read more and more funny jokes. Nice hub...


Patricia 5 years ago

I hope this wasn't for make fun of pregnant women?! Not all of them will receive that things as joke right? What if one pregnant lady reads this,and gets angry and offended?!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 5 years ago from US Author

I hope you did read it Patricia, I am sure it is not offending, If it is to some women, I didn't intend it that way. Thanks for your comment.


thehands profile image

thehands 5 years ago

Pregnancy...lots of fodder for humor there, I suppose.


AdSense Tips 5 years ago

ha ha ha.. it's really funny, thanks for share


suzannao profile image

suzannao 5 years ago from Texas

This was fantastic!! Thanks for the laughs! :)


Rismayanti profile image

Rismayanti 5 years ago from Tropical Island

creative, thanks..


Pulse101 profile image

Pulse101 5 years ago

Thanks for the laugh. I love it!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 5 years ago from Sunny Florida

very funny, prettydarkhorse. I especiallylike Matthew Brodericks's quote. It's so true.


PaperNotes profile image

PaperNotes 5 years ago

Oh Maita, I love this hub. It's hilarious, especially that grasp reflex! Thank you.


aslanlight profile image

aslanlight 5 years ago from England

Nice bunch of jokes!


tasksgirl profile image

tasksgirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

haha I love it


Sun-Girl profile image

Sun-Girl 5 years ago from Nigeria

Nice hub that really made me to laugh aloud,thanks dear for making me happy with your funny quotes.


Sun360 profile image

Sun360 5 years ago

Hi prettydarkhorse,a funny and interesting article you actually shared in here.


Contemporary Htls 5 years ago

My Mrs is pregnant at the moment, love a good joke!


dredcuan profile image

dredcuan 5 years ago

A funny and cute hub. I still believe that laughter is the best medicine and it can really easy the pain and make us more comfortable.


Annabelle74 profile image

Annabelle74 5 years ago from San Francisco and New York

Great hub, love the jokes. We must know how to laugh at ourselves and what better time to do it than when pregnant :)

Annabelle

www.ridiculouslife.net


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

Congrats on becoming a "millionaire" (of Hub views, that is!) At my rate (of c. 4,000 in 8 weeks) I could be joining the club in 2,000 weeks, + or - . Wow, what an accomplishment and sustained effort of quality Hubs folks share and enjoy, like this one. Trumpeters, front and center for the fanfare.


Anjo Bacarisas II profile image

Anjo Bacarisas II 4 years ago from Cagayan de Oro, Philippines

that was very great, that would help pregnant women to relieve stress during their pregnancy.. nice hub !..

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