A Husband's Survival Guide to Pregnancy – What We See and What Really Happens

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http://blogs.sltrib.com

Pregnancy is something men can only witness from the sideline. Moreover, men can only assume and speculate how it really is to harbor a life inside one’s body.

The numerous physiological, behavioral and physical changes in our pregnant wife can be a perplexing experience, but demystifying the symptoms of pregnancy will help husbands appreciate and participate in it better.

1. Bi-Polar Disorder Bordering on Loony Tendencies

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http://www.geninv.net

What Husbands See

Please don’t kill me in my sleep. Yes, there may be nights when men hope they won’t find a knife stuck in their chests with their wife smiling and admiring her handy work. Pregnancy can also be scary for husbands! One moment she’s sweet and not a minute later she’s a raving psycho.

Sometimes you find her admiring and smiling at anything and everything. Yet at times she cries her eyes out for no apparent reason. After 30 minutes or so you check up on her and she’s still at it. It gets irritating and it gets frustrating. Did I mention that it can be scary?

What’s Really Happening

With the baby on the way, your wife has extra doses of hormones in her body and this can affect her mood. On a psychological level, your wife may have different feelings about the pregnancy itself and the idea of bearing a child into the world. Processing these mixed emotions can be tough for her.

The weepies and the mood swings are often at their height during the first 6 to 10 weeks of pregnancy. These are the times when answering questions like “Am I fat?” requires deep pondering before a response. During the second trimester, hormones are leveling out and she gets more control of her emotions. However, expect the mood swings again during the last trimester of her pregnancy.

What Husbands Should Do

Heightened emotions—both good and bad—create situations that seem to defy male explanation. But we’re not here to psychoanalyze every misplaced emotion or unwarranted behavior. Instead, extending one’s patience is a virtue that will be greatly appreciated by our wives.

If they need to cry, offer your shoulder even if you don’t know why she’s upset. If she wants to laugh, then laugh with her. Pregnancy is stressful. Thus, we make it a point to make it less taxing for them.

2. Cramps and Some More Cramps

What Husbands See

Whining and crying because of cramps is annoying both for the wife and for the husband. For one, I have to wake up and stretch her leg in the middle of the night. But more than just the selfish reason of not getting sleep, the feeling of being helpless for your wife is equally unappealing.

What’s Really Happening

Cramps during pregnancy have many causes. For instance, leg cramps are said to be neurological in nature. Pressure on the nerves especially in the lower extremities causes cramps.

Moreover, the additional weight can increase the pressure on the legs and feet and can also contribute to leg cramps. Similarly, abdominal cramps are annoying and irritating. During early pregnancy abdominal cramps are caused by anything from the implantation of the embryo 8 to 10 days after ovulation to the stretching of the uterus.

In contrast, during later stages, pregnancy pain is concentrated in the lower abdomen, hips and the groin. This is the infamous round ligament pain and occurs when the ligament surrounding the uterus and the pelvic area stretches. On the other hand, Braxton Hicks Contractions are generally not painful. But these little bouts of contractions but can be annoying. Think of it as the body’s way of preparing the mother for labor.

Cramping is present from early pregnancy to the final minutes of labor. It's an inevitable symptom.

What Husbands Should Do

The most that husbands can do is to keep his wife as comfortable as possible. For instance, massaging your wife’s legs and feet regularly can help minimize cramping. In addition, allow her to sit and raise her legs while husbands do the household chores. Furthermore, husbands can assist their wives when they do their doctor-recommended exercises for pregnant women.

Not being able to do much when you find your wife in pain is an awful feeling. But as husbands, we simply do what we can to keep our wives comfortable even if it’s just giving our wives a hand to squeeze when she feels pain.

3. Happy Eater’s Club: We Eat With a Smile!

What Husbands See

They say gluttony is one of the 7 deadly sins. So it’s just logical to ask if our wives are going to hell. During pregnancy, it’s just hard to not think your wife is preparing for a 42 KM full marathon run. Extra servings seem inadequate and your title of most steaks eaten in 30 minutes is constantly being challenged. Suffice it to say that pregnant women appear to eat like there’s no tomorrow!

What’s Really Happening

Starting second trimester, pregnant women begin to eat more than usual. Their appetite increases as a response to their need for more nutrition. But this does not mean eating everything on the dessert menu. A common fallacy about pregnant diet is to eat double the usual. Although your wife is eating for two, it does not mean your baby will need the same amount of calories as your wife.

At the start of the pregnancy, an increase of 150 calories per day is recommended. But the amount can increase up to 250 per day towards the last trimester. Besides increasing calorie intake, increasing calcium, iron and folic acid intake will benefit both the mom and the baby.

This is one of those few instances where gaining weight and getting bigger is appreciated. By the time your wife is ready to deliver the baby, she can gain anywhere from 25 to 35 extra pounds. Help your wife embrace the reality of getting bigger and heavier.

What Husbands Should Do

As the husband, you are the voice of reason when it comes to her voracious appetite. Provide her with a variety of nutritious food choices. Likewise, give her small nutritious snacks throughout the day. Experts suggest that eating smaller but more frequent meals is better than eating 3 large meals a day. Moreover, be the one to remind her to take her vitamins and ensure that she drinks her milk everyday. Yes, husbands, it’s your time to nag.

4. All Day Hangover

What Husbands See

It’s really worse than hangover. At least with a hangover, you get to get sober in a day or less. Conversely, with morning sickness, you just have to get used to your wife dashing for the comfort room any time of the day for months on end.

What’s Really Happening

Morning sickness is a deceptive name as it may occur any time of the day. Higher estrogen level is often associated with nausea and can be a reason why pregnant women experience morning sickness. In addition, other hormones and chemicals in the body can also contribute to the nausea and vomiting during pregnancy. Furthermore, low blood sugar is also a possible explanation. Since the body requires more food and energy, pregnant women are more susceptible to low blood sugar.

Expect your wife to experience vomiting and nausea during the first 4 to 6 weeks of pregnancy. By the end of the first trimester, as much as 75% of pregnant women no longer have to contend with morning sickness. Unfortunately there are still women who have to endure this throughout their pregnancy.

What Husbands Should Do

Morning sickness is one of the symptoms of pregnancy that has gained infamy around the world. But husbands can help alleviate the discomfort. Providing relief for your wife comes in many ways. For instance, constant feeding is important. So make sure your wife has snacks wherever she may go. In addition, a cracker before getting up in the morning seems to help many women. Moreover, eating fruits and vegetables, especially those with high water content seems to do the trick. Likewise, vitamin supplements may be recommended by doctors to help alleviate the symptoms.

Do What You Can

Of course there are other little details that many men find vexing. Many things, from the squiggly things called stretch marks on their wives' tummies to the linea negra running along the bloated abdomens, can seem all too alien. For husbands, demystifying something they will never experience becomes doubly difficult.

Indeed, husbands don’t get pregnant. In spite of this limitation, we can still actively participate in our wives’ pregnancy. How men see pregnancy may not be accurate. Moreover, how women want to be treated and pampered may vary. What’s most important is that husbands ride shotgun and make the journey more comfortable for their wives.

Your Turn to Share

For all the husbands (especially the first time dads like me) out there, what is it about your wife's pregnancy that perplexes you the most? For all the women out there, do tell us how you want us to help during your pregnancy.

All your insights will help me and millions of men out there become better husbands and birthing partners. Who knows, we might just become good at it?

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Comments 157 comments

Danette Watt profile image

Danette Watt 5 years ago from Illinois

I like the way you set up this hub with the 3 sections under each topic. Unique and helpful in showing what the man sees but then the explanation of what is really going on.

Hard to say when this was written but I hope all continues to go well.


ThePracticalMommy profile image

ThePracticalMommy 5 years ago from United States

Well done! My husband would probably add the fact that men could gain just as much as the women due to the overeating...We're both trying to lose the pregnancy weight now. :) Gave this an 'awesome' and a thumbs up!


capncrunch profile image

capncrunch 5 years ago from New Orleans

Hello jpcmc,

Great Hub!! Many of the reasons for discomfort you brought out, I was unaware. I truly have been enlightened by your article. Thank you!!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

@ ThePracticalMommy. I know, I gained weight as well. My wife and i enjoy eating (pregnant or otherwise). Thanks for the thumbs up.

@ capncrunch. I just wanted to know more about pregnancy so I can make my wife more comfortable. I thought it would be great to share it with other dads and dad-to-be. I'm glad I was able to share something useful.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Great hub! Your wife is very lucky to have a man that understands everything that you have talked about in your hub.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

You give me too much Susan. After 36 weeks of pregnancy I'm still getting the hang of things. Pregnancy is really fascinating even from a husband's point of view.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

My husband was pretty good during my pregnancy but I have seen men that are so out of tune to what is happening with their wives.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there Susan, nice to see you again. I'm probably one of those out of tune husbands. But I made it a point to learn and do something productive for my wife.


melodyandes profile image

melodyandes 5 years ago

Hahaha. This is great set up. This is nice article.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Thanks melodyandes. I do hope the hub was both entertaining and informative.


aslanlight profile image

aslanlight 5 years ago from England

You ask how men can help: Don't assume that the mum to be will get all of the above symptoms. In other words don't be nervous about it because that won't help.

I only had morning sickness; I didn't even put on weight apart from my tummy, and I was very happy all the way through! So don't assume it's going to be like a horrible sickness. Relax, it's natural.

Also most women are very capable of taking care of themselves so just be supportive, don't fuss!

Women are far stronger than you think. We have babies so in my opinion we have to be stronger than men.

And I've been told that Braxton Hicks does hurt, what do male doctors know!

I think this is a great hub. It's nice to hear from such a caring father to be!


aslanlight profile image

aslanlight 5 years ago from England

I just had to add, I know I said don't fuss but keep doing the chores, and continue for at least 20 years! Lol


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Aslanlight. Thanks for the additional tips. This is our first child and it's quite a unique experience. The pregnancy is giving me good practice on doing all the chores. LOL

Thanks for the kind words.


jessicab profile image

jessicab 5 years ago from Alabama

I can definitely admit that husbands do go through a phase when their mate is pregnant. It is part of life and we all just have to work together and work at it.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

I do agree with you jessicab. I'm currently in that phase. :) At 38th week into my wife's pregnancy, the anticipation is just overwhelming.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

38 weeks you are getting so close :) Just wanted to pop in and wish you and your wife all the best and please let us know when the Big Day happens. Take Care.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Thanks Susan. We're currently timing the contractions. Each contraction lasts for around a minute and spaced 3 to 5 minutes apart. if it goes on for another hour or so then we have to go to the hospital. No fluid discharge yet.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

UHHH I think you should go to the hospital now....


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

We're off to the hospital now. So excited!


d_mckenna925 profile image

d_mckenna925 5 years ago

Great hub! I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 21 weeks along, but my fiancé surmised I was due to the mood swings, mostly. It's enlightening to know that there are men out there that have an idea at what's going on.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

hi there d_mckenna925. Thanks for dropping by. I'm a first time dad and I know how perplexing pregnancy can be. It definitely helps when the guy knows what is going on. This way we can make the experience better. I'm currently in the hospital waiting for my wife to get out of the OR. She's having a C-Section.

Just hubbing to take out some tension. :)


d_mckenna925 profile image

d_mckenna925 5 years ago

Awwwww congrats and enjoy! The first week is the best... then the sleep deprivation starts to catch up with you. Good luck with everything.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Thanks d_mckenna925. I'm currently in the hospital and my wife is already recuperating. She had a c-section. We have our first child at 10:57AM. I'm looking forward to the exciting life of being a parent. Thanks for the heads up on the sleep deprivation. :)


Zubair Ahmed profile image

Zubair Ahmed 5 years ago

Nice work. I know the feeling having recently gone through it myself. The best thing is - agree to everything she say's "She's always correct (make her think that way)" Besides she's carrying your baby.


d_mckenna925 profile image

d_mckenna925 5 years ago

Haha I'm sure you could have figured that out on your own... but no problem. Congrats!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

@ Zubair Ahmed. I make it a point to make my wife feel happy and comfortable - whether pregnant or not. I's just nice being nice to her. Thanks for reading.

@ d_mckenna925. Got the first dose of sleep deprivation! My wife had C-Section last May 24, 2011. At 10:57 AM, I officially became a dad to a baby girl.


ProudMommy 5 years ago

Good job! My husband wants me to be more independent and stop acting like a baby when I was pregnant. He wants me to stretch my own leg when I have cramps, worse is when we got home from the hospital after a CS section he told me that I'd better start moving! He sure could use a lesson from you!


ameliejan profile image

ameliejan 5 years ago from Alicante, Spain

Congratulations on your baby girl! I loved reading this but I bet pregnancy is already in the dim and distant past for you now.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there ameliejan, Thanks for reading the hub and I'm glad you loved it. Yna, our first child is already 20 days old. I'm getting used to the sleep deprivation as d_mckenna925 forewarned. Read your hubs on getting babies to sleep and the essential baby products, they are both great. See you around and welcome to the hubpages community.


Phoebe Pike 5 years ago

I wish my fiancé had read this when I was pregnant. He might have been more sympathic.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Phoebe Pike. I'm a graduate of B.S. family Life and Child Development. But nothing really prepared me for the time when my wife was pregnant. Our baby is already 5 months old now and it's a learning experience every step of the way.

I just hope that your fiancé gets more involved.

Thanks for dropping by and sharing.


Issa 4 years ago

This is funny but informative as well. My husband should read this survival guide on pregnancy.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Issa, Go ahead, share this info with him. I'm sure he'll learn something...or continue his old ways.


Joyette  Fabien profile image

Joyette Fabien 4 years ago from Dominica

Awesome and entertaining! You had me smiling all through. Since I am no longer in that line it was easy to be amused at you poor fathers out there (-: This is a great hub! Voted interesting and tweeted


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Joyette Fabien,

Thanks for reading and the comments. I still have the flashbacks of the pregnancy stage of my wife. I'm creating new memories now that my daughter is 1 year old. It's equally interesting ang challenging.


Juan 4 years ago

Thanks for this! I will have the hubby read it. We've just found out that I'm pregnant and I think we're both in shock...even though its planned. Hopefully we'll both find some understanding of the changes happening in this body of mine. :-/


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Congratulations. The experience is one of a kind - for the mom and dads as well.


Bethaleg profile image

Bethaleg 4 years ago from Minnesota

Very awesome Hub and voted that way! We are currently dealing with our 5th pg (4th child) and have been through everything you talked about. What keeps us going is the promise of that sweet little baby at the end! Kudos to you for helping your wife through an experience that is exciting, exhausting, overwhelming, scary and happy all at the same time!

As for what wives want...do we even know? LOL it can change on an hourly basis. So hang in there dads...just love and support her and you will make it through.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Bethaleg,

Thanks for the positive praises. Yup, dads ride shotgun and we do need to extend as much help as possible. It was an exciting journey for my wife and I. The emotions were up and down, but the birth of our daughter is the prize. We now face a new stage in our lives.

Thanks for sharing your insights.


Keyslinger 4 years ago

My wife and I just found out 4 days ago that we are expecting our first child, and I have gone baby crazy lol. At first I was scared out of mind, but now I am so excited I can't stand it. I came across this hub while trying to find information on how I can be more helpful. My wife and I read it together, and it has already been helpful. She is only a little over a month along and the moodswings and cramps have already hit with authority lol. But the advise in this hub has truly helped me make things better for my wife. So I just wanted to say thanks.


websspe profile image

websspe 4 years ago

Great article. you must also think about losing weight shortly after giving birth.


Lisa 4 years ago

This made my day! I wished my husband read this when I was pregnant with our baby.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there Lisa,

I wished some else wrote this while my wife pregnant so I can learn. I had to learn it all on my own.


Ian V. 4 years ago

We're expecting our first baby this November. It's really exciting. The tips are great and funny.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Ian,

COngratulations and lots of luck. The months will breeze through so fast so prepare yourself.


peachpower profile image

peachpower 4 years ago from Florida

I LOVED THIS. I'm sure my poor husband would love it more if he could've seen it before we had all 8000 kids. Well, only 4 kids, but we've been through the wringer, let me tell you. This was absolutely awesome- so much so that I voted up, awesome, and funny. Hats off to you, sir!!!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there peachpower,

Thanks for the kind words. I simply wanted to share some pregnancy survival guide/tips. It's no easy journey. But it's one I'm proud to have experienced.


Joshua 4 years ago

I am a first time father-to-be. The above information calmed a whole lot of fears. She is in the first 6-10 weeks, and I wondered if instead of pregnancy if a demon from the dark world had infested her soul. Thanks for putting my mind to rest, and I will have to work on gaining more patience for the knock-down, drag out yelling fests where I am the world that is against her. I appreciate the insight. (On a positive note, no morning sickness at any time of the day-hooray!)


Ricky 4 years ago

I want to throw in there the push present! I almost forgot it going to the hospital with my wife but luckily remembered it last minute. Juno Lucina just launched a whole line of beautiful push gifts for new mothers (www.jlucina.com). That is what the perfect push gift looks like.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Congratulations Joshua,

It must have been exciting news when you learned you're going to be a dad. It felt like I won the lottery when i learned we were having a baby. then it dawned on me ...i need to wiin the lottery for the expenses. :)

Changes do take place in our wives. A little more understanding and patience can really work wonders. So strap in for the next few weeks of this adventure.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Ricky,

New moms need a little more attention. A present would be a great idea.


Ryan 4 years ago

This is funny. The first time we had a baby it was nightmare. I never seen so many stretch marks in one person. It was surprising!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Ryan,

Stretch marks can be scary for the uninitiated husband. First time dads must expect a lot of surprises. :)


Analyn 4 years ago

I'm currently pregnant with my first baby. I'll show this to my husband. He tells me that I've become a psycho because of my mood swings.


WebsiteConfetti profile image

WebsiteConfetti 4 years ago from Australia

Very clever article! I love the way you set it up and how there is a blend of humor and informative content.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello WebsiteConfetti,

Now that it's all over, I can incorporate humor. But during that time, it was difficult. I'm glad you like it.


Pinkchic18 profile image

Pinkchic18 4 years ago from Minnesota

Awesome tips and advice here. Very well written.


Schad 4 years ago

This is right smack what I need. My wife is pregnant with our first. YES, She is a psycho right now. Sometimes I pray that the baby inside her does not inherit her weird vibes during pregnancy. But I love her.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Pinkchic18,

Thanks for the kind words. See you around.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Schad,

I'm glad the article can provide what you need. Good luck on this fun journey. This is just the start. When the baby comes out, there's a whole new life to look forward to.


Renee Collins 4 years ago

I'm glad there's a man out there who understands that pregnancy is just as confusing for women as it is for men. I remember being so emotional with my first baby that I cried everytime a Trix commercial came on. I was so upset that they wouldn't let the rabbit have any cereal. Also warn your friends to never ask a woman who is in labor with no drugs not ask why she is crying. I could've killed my husband had I been able to roll out the bed.


tony.abacab profile image

tony.abacab 4 years ago from UK

Read your article and it really offers a good insight. Was fun to read.

If you're interested and have the time, go and read my share of pre-fatherhood trails and tribulations called 'Once upon a time father was born'.

Well done on this piece, voted up!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Renee Collins,

Nice of you to drop by and share your own experiences. It can really be confusion for both the husband and the pregnant wife. In spite of the emotional and physical challenges, I found this to be one of the most beautiful times I had with my wife. The anticipation of having our first child, the shopping for baby stuff, and the changes that is ahead all make it a wonderful time to connect and strengthen the relationship.

Thanks for the kind words. See you around.


Mitch O. 4 years ago

This is a delightful read! When I was pregnant my husband went nuts. It was funny. I'm sure your wife had a blast as well,


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

I'm glad you like the article Mitch. I guess every husband has his own way of dealing with pregnancy. Going nuts is one of them . :)


M. Orteza 4 years ago

I know about the all day hangover. But my husband was kind enough to let me be. I get cranky when I'm nauseated. This is funny.


Jenn 4 years ago

This is an awesome article. My hubbie should read this. I'm into my second trimester and the morning sickness is becoming less of a problem. Thanks Mayla for sharing the link.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi M. Orteza,

Thanks for the visit. I'm glad I made you smile today. Send my regards to your husband.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Jenn,

Nice to see you here on hubpages. Thanks for visiting the hub. Good luck and I do hope you hubbie reads this. Pregnancy will make a lot of sense after breezing through this hub.


By Lori profile image

By Lori 4 years ago from USA

I think after a birth the attention all goes on the baby which is normal enough but it is nice to remember that the mother has just gone through nearly a year of stress and physical change and discomfort, and maybe a frightening birth...and that hospitals these days rush women home too soon. Used to be a new mother would spend 10 days in hospital ! That is how concerned doctors used to be {I read somewhere}. She still needs to be treated special, because she's recovering. She just made a miracle for you, so keep on with the adoration and gratitude. Flowers,attention,kind deeds.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello By Lori ,

Giving birth is definitely a stressful time. We must pamper moms especially after giving birth. The real work come after this. Thanks for sharing. :)


ChrisStyles profile image

ChrisStyles 4 years ago from USA

Hehe... I remember those mood swings well and I sooo was not prepared for that.


FL2BoysMom profile image

FL2BoysMom 4 years ago

This is a great hub. I really enjoyed it.

Just want to add: When your wife goes to buy those first maternity clothes, and she holds up a blouse and asks "what do you think of this?" Do NOT reply with, "Is it big enough."

:)


That Grrl profile image

That Grrl 4 years ago from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

I'm linking both of your posts about Dads during pregnancy to Men's Style on scoop.it.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello That Grrl,

Being a dad is both exciting and scary at the same time. I just want to share my ideas and experiences as a first time dad. Thanks for dropping by. See you around.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello FL2BoysMom,

Great tip! I actually asked that question to my wife and I got smack on the head. But i was right, we had to buy something bigger. Whenever we went out to buy preggy clothes, there's a certain level of pride in my heart. I'm going to be a dad. To an extent I like to flaunt my pregnant wife. :)


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi ChrisStyles,

I read about mood swings but it never really prepared me for the real thing.


John-Rose profile image

John-Rose 4 years ago from USA

I have four kids and I love the hub. My wife was an extreme handful and tried my patience unlike any of life's curses and/or blessings. The one thing that I can advise it to understand that you will never understand what she is going through and respect your wife through all of the craziness, because it's just going to be a temporary her. Your loving wife will return once her hormones return back to normal.


FL2BoysMom profile image

FL2BoysMom 4 years ago

Well, he did admit that he was thinking.. 'you're still gonna get bigger', but whether he (or you) was right or not, you deserved a smack on the head (I just cried, didn't smack him.) lol.

Something like, "Get something more comfy with more room to grow more" is much better.


mariasial profile image

mariasial 4 years ago from united kingdom

Really good hub, it remind me all tough time of my pregnancy days. Thanks for sharing


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi John-Rose,

The 9 months of pregnancy can really test the patience of a husband and the resilience of the mom. working together is important. True, we should never assume what the other person is feeling and going thorugh. All we can do is be there to help. Thanks for sharing your insights.

Are you planning to add one more to the brood?


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

He FL2BoysMom,

those were the stupid comments I will not make ever. I never enjoyed going shopping with my wife (or any woman for that matter) it takes too long. But when we were shopping for preggy clothes, it was a thrill for me. I was excited. I'm going to be a dad, and here's my wife to prove it. :)

I'm sure your hubbie realized his mistake - as I did.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi mariasial,

Pregnancy can be difficult. But It's one experience that we guys can never have. But riding shotgun in our wives' pregnancy is one thrill ride worth remembering.

Would you like to have more kids? Relive the experience of pregnancy one more time. :)


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan

Nice hub, I wish I had some tips like that when for when my wife was pregnant with our daughter.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Hezekiah,

No matter how many articles I read, it never really prepared me for the real thing. But every info counts. I hope I shared some that you can actually use.


mecheshier profile image

mecheshier 4 years ago

I love this. It's about time I seen an article on a mans perspective of women & pregnancy. High 5 and more. Great info and references to how us sensitive women can be when our hormones are wacky. Thanks for the share. Voted up for useful and funny.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello mecheshier,

We know it's a difficult time for the mom. The more men understand what is going on, the better we can help. This is a wonderful time for both husband and wife. Thanks for the vote up.


ashish ag, india rtm 4 years ago

Hello all,

he is right carefully, read and follow it.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there Ashiss. Thanks for the endorsement. :) Help me spread the word and get more husbands invovled.


Madison 4 years ago

Wow your wife sure is lucky i actually tried to get mine to read this and i don't think he even payed attention. Husbands please do read because sometimes just understanding what we are going through can make it a lot easier on both you and us!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Madison,

I understand the emotional roller coaster bundled in pregnancy. I saw it first hand. Every support we husbands can give should be given automatically without delay. Unfortunately not all guys have the same point of view when it comes to pregnancy. I just hope that everything works out well for you.

I appreciate the kind words Madison.


Topher 3 years ago

This is one of the funniest reads ever. But this is also very informative. This is a must share for all dads and dads to be. Great job!


Lynette 3 years ago

I laughed my head off reading this article. Kudos to jpcmc. It's both informative and funny. i hope more husbands read this.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Topher,

I'm glad I made you smile. I hope you got something out of the article.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

How's it going Lynette,

Thank you for the kind words. Yes, I do hope more husbands read this. Surviving pregnancy is not just for the mom.


Kasman profile image

Kasman 3 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

Jpcmc, you've set me up for the "I'm pregnant" scenario and for that, I salute you sir! My wife and I are planning on having kids soon but obviously unprepared as people without them can be. We don't know much on the subject quite yet, but we are beginning to learn. I'm going to have to keep a hold on this hub to come back to from time to time as the frustrations begin to build. We will get through this! Ultra useful hub, voting way up!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there Kasman,

Nothing really prepares you for the adventure. But at least you've seen what I went through. Pick up those tidbits that will be useful for you. It's an unusual journey especially if it's your first time. In the end, pregnancy is a wonderful adventure for you and your wife.

I encourage you to keep your sanity through it. The whole hubpages community is cheering you on. Do share your experiences with us. Good luck my friend.


kcreery profile image

kcreery 3 years ago from Whistler Canada

Great hub. I enjoyed reading it. I am still trying to lose my sympathy weight from 6 years ago. Haha. Best of luck.


livewirez profile image

livewirez 3 years ago from Pearl of the Orient Sea

Well done, nice information. I had pass this stage already. Now my problem is the post natal syndrome, my wife is very sensitive after giving birth. What should I do?


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

You make me laugh kcreery. It's nice of you to drop by. 6 years is a long time :)


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there livewire,

Congratulations on your new baby. It's a whole new ball game now. I red somewhere that around 80% of women become more sensitive, cry a lot and all those weepy stuff after giving birth. It's more of the hormones acting up than anything else. But this should not be taken lightly, your wife still needs a little TLC. Good rest, a little Rand R will help do the trick. Take off some of the stress - as much as you can. She still needs pampering. Good luck my friend.


rachitkakkar 3 years ago

really nicely said above...

my wife is angry coz she feels i did not react much, which isn't the case, it is our first time, she has been giving vague info so i have not been pretty confident till today morning.

i feel silly, but i really wanna take real good care.

i wish to make it up like right now... how can extra care be taken excpt frm the points stated above?


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello rachitkakkar,

Thank you for dropping by and contributing here. Each person has his specific needs. Do take the time to learn what you wife wants and needs. Even the small stuff can help. The whole idea behind this is to take off as much burden from your wife. Allow her time with your baby and to her self. AS a new dad, I had top learn everything from cooking to doing the laundry. It can be exhausting, but it's the least we can do for our wife.

Good luck on this new adventure. having a family is a huge responsibility.


Rachit Kakkar 3 years ago

Thanks for the response..

Appreciate it.

Well am good at cooking :) and well have been a hostel student for 4 long years, so laundry is not a problem.

Thanks for the support.

cheers


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello again Rachit Kakkar,

It would be nice to document the experience and share it with all of us. I'm sure we can learn from your experiences. Good luck my friend.


Lex Santos 3 years ago

This is funny! Great job on the article. I remember driving my Ex husband crazy. It was quite an experience.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Howdy Lexie, Nice to see you here. I know, Danny told me about the hard time you gave him.


SRK24 3 years ago

My wife is six weeks pregnant.. We have a 10 month old girl.. Since I have done this with her once already I was so excited about the recent news.. I want to do everything I can and even more this time becuase of the knowledge I have gained.. The problem is that she left our house and moved in with her parents.. Shes not returning my calls and I don't have a clue what to do?? Please advise.


Tina Marie 3 years ago

Thanks for this great article I was able to share it with my husband to understand what I'm going through as this is not my first pregnancy but it it his first child! I have been having such horrible morning sickness, very emotional and moody this time around and trying to get him to understand what I'm going through can be some what difficult at times!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello SRK24,

Congratulations on having another baby. Obviously there are some issues that you need to iron out with her. Do everything you can to establish communication with her - directly or through her parents. It's important that you know why she left. this way, you can resolve the concerns. Good luck.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there Tina Marie,

I'm glad the article was useful. Some dads may have a longer time understanding what women are going through. Just keep them involved so they can learn as much as they can. Good luck.


Pinkchic18 profile image

Pinkchic18 3 years ago from Minnesota

If I were on a man's pinterest account, I would definitely pin this because this is so handy!! What a wonderful article for men to read and learn from.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Such kind words Pinkchic18. I really appreciate that. I'm hoping that more men get to assume a more active role in their wive's pregnancy. See you around.


Incasethewifekillsme 3 years ago

Thank goodness I found this article this morning. I am just relieved that there are other men out there who struggle and understand from a mans point of view.

Yes, totally agree with the life growing inside the wife and how phyiscally and emotionally draining it is for her. It's the lighter to say 'show patience' etc but in some cases it can become really serious and distressing for the man especially if he is trying to work hard and provide for her every need.

But I will take some inspiration from this article so thank you so much.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there Incasethewifekillsme,

Being a first time dad, I know the difficulties. I just want to share the experience and perhaps help other men out there get a better handle on things. The more we are aware of what is happening, the better we can help our wives.

I appreciate your comments. Help me spread the word. :)


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 3 years ago from Germany

Brilliant! I like the way you wrote this hub. How I wish I have read something like this ages ago to know more about being pregnant. I enjoyed reading it and I have to pass it on in fb for my pregnant friends. Thanks for sharing;-)


Myrtle 3 years ago

Great article. Got my husband to read (in the middle of a nonsensical an argument). He came up to me later and said he now understood what I was going through and he had realised before. Should make the journey that little bit more easier now!

:-)


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there Thelma Alberts,

Thanks for the kind words. pregnancy is difficult especially when there's no one there to assist and support. I hope your friends and their husbands/partners find value in this hub. See you around.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Myrtle,

Having a support system does wonders. A little understanding can go a long way. Life is indeed a great journey...especially when you're expecting. Good luck my friend.


Laika 3 years ago

I wish my boyfried had read this. He won't be as a prick as he was.


T-X-2 profile image

T-X-2 3 years ago from Louisiana

This is a great article. I like how you explained what is really happening and what husbands should do. Very helpful for new dads-to-be.


healthmunsta profile image

healthmunsta 3 years ago

Oh wow! This was fun to read and so very true! Countless husbands freak out at the words, "Honey, I'm pregnant." They don't know what to do - and most important of all, they're just anxious for how they are going to live with you for the next 9 months.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello healthmunsta,

When my wife was pregnant I had to read a lot and ask so many questions. It really pays to know something about pregnancy and how we husbands can help our wives.


Someone Dadlike 3 years ago

I can't tell you how often I need reminding that my wife's anger and unpredictability is COMMON, and that all women who give birth have to deal with it, and that I'm not really an insensitive ogre, just the nearest port of call for my poor pregnant wife's frustration.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Someone Dadlike,

It pays to know what our wives our going through. This changes perspective. Once we change what we understand; we can change what we can do.


Andy Paul 3 years ago

LOL. It was a nightmare with my wife. But I love her.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Andy, I've know you two for a couple of years now and I know how close you are. But your little girl is a sweet gift I know you both love.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Andy, I've know you two for a couple of years now and I know how close you are. But your little girl is a sweet gift I know you both love.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Andy, I've know you two for a couple of years now and I know how close you are. But your little girl is a sweet gift I know you both love.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi Andy, I've know you two for a couple of years now and I know how close you are. But your little girl is a sweet gift I know you both love.


Gail Meyers profile image

Gail Meyers 2 years ago from United States

It isn't often you see a man writing about pregnancy. I enjoyed your hub and I'm sure the men out there will appreciate it too. I am glad you survived without being stabbed in your sleep. I also managed to give birth without stabbing him. lol Voted up!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 2 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello there Gail Meyers,

Yes, I'm lucky not to get injured. lol

It was a beautiful experience being beside my wife while she was pregnant. It was a learning experience. I just have more respect and more love for my wife. Kudos to all moms out there.


NateB11 profile image

NateB11 2 years ago from California, United States of America

I like your combination of humor, knowledge, compassion and reasoning in handling, understanding, examining and finding solutions to a rather difficult problem. I do not and have never had a pregnant wife, but I've been witness to some.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 2 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello NateB11,

When you're on the front row seat your life will change. It's fun, scary and the sleepless nights are worth every minute.


connecttheworld profile image

connecttheworld 2 years ago from Houston, Texas

Excellent write up! And thank you so much for putting this together, I was honestly clueless before reading this and was sticking to my "principles" and gents let me tell you, it was a gravely mistake... Amazing how no one warned me about this, not my dad, my priest, not a damn soul. My wife is finally getting into the second trimester, I escaped the first trimester battered, beaten, scared so hopefully I can recover after reading this... Wish us luck!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 2 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello there connecttheworld,

First of all congratulations. Having a baby on the way is both fun and scary for both. I had a wonderful time when my wife was still pregnant. It was difficult but fun. I tried my best to be by her side and do whatever I can. I believe that husbands need to take on a more active role during pregnancy. Good luck.


Abe 2 years ago

Hey its going to be hard to be a dad I see.... Hard to be a good husband already. Im only 22 in college and having a kid... whew. Its been only the first trimester


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 2 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hi there Abe, Being a parent is a challenge. it can be difficult but it is worth the trouble. Providing as much assistance to our pregnant wives is a huge and important step in preparing for fatherhood. I hope the hub gave you some insights on what to expect. Good luck and congratulations.


Keith 2 years ago

My girlfriend is 9 weeks pregnant and she is driving me crazy. She tells me all the time how unhappy she is with me and we shouldn't be together. I'm not sure what I should do. But I cant take this too much longer.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 2 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Keith,

I apologize for the late reply. Your situation is tough. But you must understand that your girlfriend is going through physical and hormonal changes. Being emotional and sensitive can be part of these changes. What she requires now is a little more patience and understanding in your part. I know it can be a huge challenge. But she requires all the support she needs. I hope things get better.


tiagodamiao profile image

tiagodamiao 2 years ago from Torres Novas

Great Article dude! Now I know what I have to do when mu girlfriend someday be pregnant. It's not easy, but we mens can do our job :) Thanks


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 23 months ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello there tiagodamiao,

Thanks for the positive response on the hub. It is definitely not easy but it is not impossible. In fact, this is one of the most emotion-[packed experiences you can have. Good luck when it is your time.


matt 21 months ago

so my wife says she is grossed putby the way i eat (mouth closed, mind you) and also gets annoyed by the sound of my voice. i need some advice other than to keep my mouth closed...


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 21 months ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello there Matt,

Every pregnancy is unique. Plus the way your wife reacts to subtle changes around her can be distracting to say the least. I am no expert on the dynamics of chewing or the sounds it make. But it always help to talk about even the simplest things that bother your wife right now. Good luck.


wheelinallover profile image

wheelinallover 19 months ago from Central United States

Life was different for me when my children were born. In my case each if my two children had a different mother. The mother of the first had very little morning sickness, no stretch marks, few cramps until the third trimester, and an easy birth. The second child's mother was like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. She had morning sickness for about half the pregnancy, cramps from about the second month to the end. She was the one who had the weird food cravings meaning late night trips to the local store. My mother gave me the information I needed to know. She said you helped create that new life, make sure your wife is as comfortable as possible while it is inside her.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 19 months ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello there wheelinallover,

We could say every pregnancy is unique. Some exhibit the classic symptoms while others breeze through it like it was nothing. Your mom is right, husbands need to make their wives comfortable. We are a part of this experience and we should make the most out of it.


Ju 18 months ago

this is our first pregnancy and we are only 4 and a half weeks into it and I am already the worst guy ever !! This is very helpful in understanding how I can help. I am already tired of being in trouble for I have no clue why!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 18 months ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello there Ju. I understand what you are going through. I am glad that you found this useful. In the end, it is important for all of us to realize that pregnancy is a shared responsibility. We simply do as much as we can to make our partner more comfortable. Congratulations and more power.


Tak 17 months ago

7-10weeks have been hard. Harder than I'd ever imagined. I'm having a hard time knowing if it's to hormones being irrational, or her actually being upset. It's hard to handle all of this and I can only take it to the chin and apologize for nothing for so long.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 16 months ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello Tak,

I understand the difficulty and I know how you feel. In the end we have to realize that we have to commit to facing the challenges. These hurdles will help us become better as a person and strengthen our relationship. Good luck and keep in touch.


Andrew from lusaka Zambia 10 months ago

Hi guys,my wife is in her early weeks of pregnancy.. am learning a lotion from your comments. Thanks


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 10 months ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello there Andrew,

First of all congratulations. Being blessed with a child is fantastic. Plus this new adventure both of you will undertake is truly magical. Of course it is not without its difficulties and challenges. But when both of you work together, it will be a fabulous journey. If there is one thing you should keep in mind it is being an active participant in your wife's pregnancy. Good luck and have fun.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 10 months ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Hello there Tak,

Whether it is just hormones or the person's character, you need to extend your patience. I know it is too much to ask, but blowing your top off will not make things better. But of course you need your own time to recharge and get away from what seems like insanity. After the short break, it is back to being the support person. I know that by this time your wife would have given birth. I apologize for the very late reply but I do hope everything went well. Bless you and your family.


Mini papa 8 months ago

My fiancé is 6weeks pregnant. Our first ever child. Incredibly filled with excitement nerves and fear I may wake up in my pool of blood. I found this incredibly useful in helping me be very aware of my responses (verbal and non-verbal). I was called a lot of things last night, not very pleasant things either. Related to events that occurred many months ago. In fact my mother came up in the conversation too. Can't go into details but also not pleasant. After about 50mins of confusion and feeling guilty for existing I came across this and I'm glad to say im more conscious of what is actually going on. Only 6weeks though, I think the 'best' is yet to come. Bring on the hormones


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 months ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines Author

Mini Papa,

First up, congratulations. This is a wonderful time for you and your fiance. Work together and extend as much help as you can. second, I apologize for the very very very very late reply. I hope that when you eventually read this response you are discovering how really wonderful pregnancy is when both of you are working closely. enjoy every moment. My daughter is already 5 years old now and we talk to her about how she grew in her mom's tummy. This is a precious time for both of you. God Bless my friend.


andriaperry 2 months ago

Love this! All men should read this and be in the know.


Lady Lorelei profile image

Lady Lorelei 2 months ago from Canada

Oh how so very true. Well done on the trials of surviving pregnancy from both side of the fence.

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