I Quit; Breaking My Addiction

The other night, I was up late. I couldn't sleep and just ate a big bowl of mac and cheese. As I always do, I chased that with a cigarette. Yet, this time, It didn't feel so good to be smoking. I felt this horrible chest pain, this back pain... And I said "ENOUGH!".

That was Monday night, today, it's Wednesday evening. I haven't smoked in nearly 48 hours. How do I feel? LIKE ABSOLUTE CRAP! I'm dizzy, I keep getting hot, then cold, then hot then cold, my neck and head hurt, I can't stay awake for more then 2 hours with out needing a nap, I'm jittery, my chest feels tight, the anxiety is overwhelming and feel like at moments I can pass out.

But I am proud. I have been a smoker for 8 years. It started off only smoking here and there. I would smoke and then not smoke for weeks. I was a casual smoker. Then I started dating some guy who got me in the habit of every time I get stressed, mad, upset, "Here, Have a smoke!". So for 5 years, aside from a few days here and there when I was sick, I have smoked. Do I miss it, yes I do, But I know I'm better off not smoking. I ordered some Herbal mix from Amazon.com, It's nicotine and tobacco free, so once I get the horrible habit cravings, I'll have something to distract me. It's pretty much weeds and leafs from different plants. It's not entirely safe, but its much safer then tobacco and nicotine, plus it's not addictive.

I'm not sure what gave me this will power, I want to believe its God who has. The night I quit I told Him I can't do this alone, I have tried and failed quite a few times. Aside from a few slips of reaching for a smoke, I haven't really wanted one. I just want these horrible nicotine withdrawal symptoms to be over.

I live with my fiance' and he still smokes, and oddly enough, It hasn't bothered me yet. He smokes menthol's, that I don't like though, so I guess that's a good thing! Actually the smell of smoke is making me sick to my stomach for some reason.

To think I use to think I was not addicted. I use to say "Oh, I can quite anytime, I just don't want to right now!". Right, I guess I was selling lies even I bought back then. I can tell I was addicted just by the way my body is acting. I'm not even 48 hours yet and my body just don't feel right. I read some people don't get symptoms and others, well, you'd think they were coming off of a heroine addiction. Here's the symptoms I have been having :

-Anxiety

-Severe Fatigue

-Light headed-ness

-Dizziness

-Change in appetite (Less hungry)

-Tightness in my chest

-Back, neck and head pains

-Emotional break downs

-Moodiness

-Nausea

-Lower heart rate

I will update soon, with symptoms and how I am doing. As for today, I just want to sleep.


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Comments 18 comments

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

You forgot to make the other list...the one about the good changes:

Stopped coughing up brown goo.

Easier breathing

You are no longer stinking (You'd be amazed at how badly you stunk! As your sense of smell comes back, you'll be able to tell how other smokers reek!)

No longer spending a fortune on killing yourself

Heart stops hurting from lack of oxygen.

You get the idea! Work on the good list! The bad list will soon fade away. I know...I smoked for for nearly forty years before I finally quit. All those bad symptoms will be gone in no time. You have everything to gain and not one thing to lose!


ii3rittles profile image

ii3rittles 5 years ago Author

Thanks Willstarr! I should make a good list, and I will, but right now, I'm feeling far from good. If I take too deep a breath, I almost pass out. I'm sure I will feel better in a week. I'm just hoping this bad stuff only lasts a few days. The fatigue is soooo bad!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

" If I take too deep a breath, I almost pass out."

Probably because you are getting far more oxygen than you are used to getting, just like taking several big breaths when you were a kid made you dizzy or even pass out.

Be patient and allow yourself to heal.


ii3rittles profile image

ii3rittles 5 years ago Author

Thanks again Willstarr... I just got to keep in mind that the symptoms are from my body getting better and healing.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Exactly, but if you're concerned, go see your doctor. There could be something else going on.


Patkay profile image

Patkay 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

Hi ii3rittles, be strong and you will be able to stop that bad habit. If you have the will power, then everything is possible.

I wish you well.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore

Congrats on quitting smoking. The first few weeks will be tough, but you can do it. Stay positive and tell yourself how much better you will feel when all that poison is out of your lungs. I have to tell you this:

Back in Oct. 2009 I decided I had enough of drinking alcohol after many many years of doing so and everyday of the week. I made my mind up that I would never pick up a drink again and promised myself that and as of today one an half years later I have not touched a drop. I lost 41 lbs and feel great. 6 months after quiting drinking I then decided to quit smokeing my 2 packs a day and now one year later still now smoking. So what I am trying to tell you is that it is all in your mind and your mind is a powerful thing, so use it wisely. I don't miss the drink and hate and I mean hate the smell of cigarettes. stay strong and you will get through this with no problem. Sometimes you have to hurt a little for anything to come good from it.

God Bless and Good Luck

Mark (The Clean Life)


ii3rittles profile image

ii3rittles 5 years ago Author

Thanks Patkay! - I know I can do it. I am now more then 72 hours clean! Considering my fiance' still smokes & I gave it up all while he still smokes right next to me, amazes myself. God is awesome!

Thanks Mark! - I also do not drink. I decided to go straight edge and live with out drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. They have no health value and I'm trying to get better, not worse. None of it's worth it. Congrats on your accomplishments as well!


cheerfulnuts profile image

cheerfulnuts 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I've never smoked in my entire life, but my dad had been a smoker for several years. He had tried to quit a few times and failed. But several months ago, after watching The Tourist, he decided to buy an electronic cigarette, the one Johnny Depp was using in the film. It didn't work, and he bought herbal cigarettes similar to the ones you're using. It made him stop craving for real cigarettes. He still smokes those herbal cigarettes, and I'm hoping he will be completely free from his addiction. Good luck to you. You can do it! :)

cheerfulnuts


Guanta profile image

Guanta 5 years ago from New York City

Great Hub, I quit about fifteen years ago ang have never looked back. I must confess I loved smoking, stopping to take time out to have a cigarette for this reason or the other. Now I love the fact that I don't smoke anymore.


ii3rittles profile image

ii3rittles 5 years ago Author

Thanks Cheerfulnuts! - I didn't think them electric things would do anything but make me want a regular cigarette more. The herbal mix is great! I smoked only 3 and a half of them since last Thursday. It helps when I am having a bad anxiety attack as i trick my body into smoking. I don't even inhale 90% of the stuff. I haven't wanted a cigarette but two times! On day 9!

Thanks Guanta! - I loved it as well! But I think my health is more important. I up and said you know what, I'm DONE! The times I have tried to quit in the past never worked because I didn't want to quit. Now I finally really wanted to, and with some help from God, I QUIT! Congrats on being 15 years smoke free! :)


Hawk Fitness profile image

Hawk Fitness 5 years ago from Franklin,Tennessee

Congrats on quitting, it's not east that's for sure. I quit when I started working out. I would take out the anger in the gym instead of on the road...actually I still do. I still hope one day they make smoking illegal, anyone who still smokes doesn't keep smoking because it's great for you.


druhepkins 5 years ago

Very good for you that you quit smoking. When I was done with sports, I worked in the music industry and nightlife and slowly became a casual smoker---then finally a full blown smoker in denial for close to 10 years. I finally pulled the reigns, got control back and stopped. You're right, really have to want to quit in order to quit. Glad you did


ii3rittles profile image

ii3rittles 5 years ago Author

Thanks Halk Fitness & druhepkins!


ii3rittles profile image

ii3rittles 5 years ago Author

It's been a little over a month and I am finally feeling better, tho not 100% yet!


danielleantosz profile image

danielleantosz 5 years ago from Florida

Congrats! I have been a smoker for about eight years as well, and cant quite get myself to quit. This is quite a feat.


thecarte profile image

thecarte 5 years ago from New Jersey

This something I must do. I know this.


ii3rittles profile image

ii3rittles 5 years ago Author

Thanks for your comments danielleantosz & thecarte! I tried many times before I actually was able to. This time had been the first time I gave it to God and told Him, I can quit with your help. Aside from the effects on the body, it has been easy for me... God is truly amazing. You have to truly want to quit or you never will. Best of luck to you both!

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