I Quit; Breaking My Addiction
The other night, I was up late. I couldn't sleep and just ate a big bowl of mac and cheese. As I always do, I chased that with a cigarette. Yet, this time, It didn't feel so good to be smoking. I felt this horrible chest pain, this back pain... And I said "ENOUGH!".
That was Monday night, today, it's Wednesday evening. I haven't smoked in nearly 48 hours. How do I feel? LIKE ABSOLUTE CRAP! I'm dizzy, I keep getting hot, then cold, then hot then cold, my neck and head hurt, I can't stay awake for more then 2 hours with out needing a nap, I'm jittery, my chest feels tight, the anxiety is overwhelming and feel like at moments I can pass out.
But I am proud. I have been a smoker for 8 years. It started off only smoking here and there. I would smoke and then not smoke for weeks. I was a casual smoker. Then I started dating some guy who got me in the habit of every time I get stressed, mad, upset, "Here, Have a smoke!". So for 5 years, aside from a few days here and there when I was sick, I have smoked. Do I miss it, yes I do, But I know I'm better off not smoking. I ordered some Herbal mix from Amazon.com, It's nicotine and tobacco free, so once I get the horrible habit cravings, I'll have something to distract me. It's pretty much weeds and leafs from different plants. It's not entirely safe, but its much safer then tobacco and nicotine, plus it's not addictive.
I'm not sure what gave me this will power, I want to believe its God who has. The night I quit I told Him I can't do this alone, I have tried and failed quite a few times. Aside from a few slips of reaching for a smoke, I haven't really wanted one. I just want these horrible nicotine withdrawal symptoms to be over.
I live with my fiance' and he still smokes, and oddly enough, It hasn't bothered me yet. He smokes menthol's, that I don't like though, so I guess that's a good thing! Actually the smell of smoke is making me sick to my stomach for some reason.
To think I use to think I was not addicted. I use to say "Oh, I can quite anytime, I just don't want to right now!". Right, I guess I was selling lies even I bought back then. I can tell I was addicted just by the way my body is acting. I'm not even 48 hours yet and my body just don't feel right. I read some people don't get symptoms and others, well, you'd think they were coming off of a heroine addiction. Here's the symptoms I have been having :
-Change in appetite (Less hungry)
-Tightness in my chest
-Back, neck and head pains
-Emotional break downs
-Lower heart rate
I will update soon, with symptoms and how I am doing. As for today, I just want to sleep.
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