IT IS NOT WRONG TO GET ANGRY ONCE IN AWHILE BUT CAN YOU MANAGE IT !

SO ! YOU LOST YOUR RAG AGAIN !

Let me start with an admission ! As a trained teacher, I can ,on demand, give the appearance of being very angry to the subject of my displeasure, whilst remaining perfectly calm inside. Any teacher worth his or her salt knows that to lose their temper in a professional situation is bad practice and could result in serious consequences. Making the recipient think that the expressed wrath is real is a core constituent within a broad framework of influencing and reacting to human behaviour which does not reach required standards.

Even so, it would be totally wrong to infer that there are times when the exterior wrath is a mere manifestation of what is pent up inside. After nearly every such personal episode, I feel aggrieved and disappointed with myself in direct proportion to the satisfaction I feel when I have convinced someone that I am really angry whilst remaining calm within.

Many people experience genuine anger and allow it to control their actions far too many times and can end up in difficult positions which with the calm of hindsight, they would have prefered not to get themselves into. Some folk are acknowledged by those who know them as having a "short fuse". In other words they can swiftly adopt an angry stance to whatever faces them at the time. At the other end of the contiuum, we find the placid "long fused" people who are often, because of this used as doormats, not to say punch bags by the short fusers. Most of us are neare the middle thankfully and can stand up for ourselves without general explosive behaviour. It is a good thing for world harmony that this is the case, though it is worth pointing out that the world leaders tend more to short rather than long fused people.

MANAGING THE ANGER.

Anger Management is now a respected profession in many societies and helps many to find their way away from swift and angry confrontations to a more measured approach to situations.I am quite content with this situation whilst believing that the individual, should he or she so wish, can exercise simple techniques to assist against losing control and regaining it swiftly if lost initially

The first thing to say is, of course, try to avoid confrontational situations. Initially try to mentally forsee such situations developing and to step away or at least back from them.Secondly, do not fail to recognise the importance of breathing to excercising self control. Breathing deeply and slowly has both physical and mental benefits. One of these is that whilst so doing, speech is inhibited and enables the oft quoted "count to ten" advice to kick in automatically. Many anger situations when unchecked end up in physical confrontations, but ALL start with the use of words between the parties..

As individuals, we have different points of anger levels and also differing things that make us get angry. If you are an anger lead type but can recognise the advent of something that triggers off your anger, you are much more likely to be able to step back and avoid unecessary confrontations. For example, we are all more likely to react quicly with anger when we are stressed, fatigued, hungry etc etc. Exercise and involvement in things of personal interest like playing a musical instrument, reading, country walking , painting etc can reduce the chances of becoming anger fuelled.

Some people find that having a clear day plan helps control emotions. This will differ according to circumstance, for example it could mean getting one train earlier to work, or for another changing the morning routine around getting the kids to school or even settling on at least one family mealtime in the week. For others taking one less glass of wine may be the key. These examples are simply to show that by accepting that you have a "short fuse "and seeking to do something about it in practical terms can be a big help. Personally, I am not an advocate of self inflicted pain as an antidote ,though I do know personally someone who uses an elastic band on his wrist as an "early warning mechanism" and snaps it against himself when warning bells ring.

There are as many techniques for recognising and controlling the onset of anger as you can shake a stick at. Trial and error seem to be the only answers here.Whatever you determine suits you has to be the best way forward. Regaining and retaining your self control is not an exact science,so if you have the problem, start experimenting and if you were to ask my advice, I would urge you take the deep breath route first. However, if that does not work for you, please do not beat a path to my door threatening to knock my block off !

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