If You Have Nothing Nice To Say...

Think before you speak

Unless you have something nice to say, then say nothing at all. Trust me, it's humanly possible!

If at any precise moment you want to say anything other than something nice, simply DON'T. There are many ways around it.

Why hurt someone's feelings, what purpose does it serve? Unless you are intentionally trying to be hateful, just zip your lips. Try your best to keep your comments to yourself. Better yet, write the comment on a piece of paper and then toss it in the trash. Or burn it.

It's so much more pleasant to offer constructive criticism then to ridicule someone. When a person belittles a person, it's actually that person who looks bad.

What purpose would it serve?

Here are some questions to ponder before you say something that you might regret.

  • Is what you are about to say a fact and do you have proof to back it up?
  • Will your statement help the situation or make matters worse?
  • Will someone be embarrassed or ashamed?
  • Is it possible that a relationship will be in jeopardy if you say what you aren't sure you should say?
  • Is it kind?
  • Is it absolutely necessary?
  • Should I just be kind and be quiet?
  • Will what I say matter 5 minutes from now?
  • Am I prepared for the repercussion in case someone gets irate?

It's Nice To Be Nice
It's Nice To Be Nice

Your friend gets a new hairstyle, she's thrilled, you don't care for it....even if she asks your opinion DON'T voice your total opinion, take baby steps around it.

If you don't like the style say something nice about the color or ask who the stylist was because you are looking for a new one and then lose the phone number! This is her time to shine, don't ruin her moment.

Your neighbor painted their house a bright yellow and you fear the value of your house just plummeted. They ask if you like the new color, just suggest they add some black trim. The next time you order pizza just tell the delivery person your house is located right next door to the giant bumble bee. Don't fret, the color will fade.

You read an article that differs from your opinion. Don't judge the writer or critique them. It's their opinion. Artists are all unique. Their views differ from yours.

Can you imagine if we all had the same opinions or perspectives....BORING! Their photos might be a bit offensive, but it's still their creation and should be respected.

Instead of critiquing them how about looking for one positive aspect to the hub and offer them a compliment for that.

When this practice is repeated often enough if becomes a habit. Better yet, you can say nothing. Just hop on to the next article.

Some suggestions you could use in everyday life...

  • Bite your tongue
  • Walk, skip, gallop, or hop away
  • Say something positive instead
  • Offer a compliment regarding something else
  • Change the subject
  • Yell "THE SKY IS FALLING" and run for cover!
  • Belch as a diversion!
  • If you are in person begin dancing and clapping blame it on a song stuck in your head
  • Pretend you forgot to purchase new batteries for your hearing aid
  • If you are on the phone make a crackling sound to mimic a bad connection
  • If it's on email, Facebook or twitter don't respond for awhile and pretend your computer crashed

Sunshine Disclaimer:

Sunshine sometimes practices what she preaches, but most of the time she doesn't need to. It's unlike her to actually cause a diversion or not say anything. She likes to compliment others. She likes to make people smile.

She goes above and beyond to show appreciation when someone does something that impresses her or for any simple act of kindness. We might not think that a small token of gratitude such as a thank you, you rock or you are awesome could make someones day or possibly their week.

Sunshine likes to talk and offer opinions. Her daughters taught her that if she has nothing nice to say then say nothing at all. The majority of the time she's not quiet because that's not how she rolls.

Peace, love and happiness is so much nicer then bickering and hurtful feelings. Go forth and start a new habit. Chances are you probably already are and that makes Sunshine smile.

Do you think before you speak?

  • Not always, but I'm working on it.
  • Yes, I don't want to hurt someone else's feelings.
See results without voting

© 2011 Linda Bilyeu

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Comments 59 comments

SJmorningsun25 5 years ago

Nice one, Sunshine! Think how many wars could have been avoided in history if someone had been wise enough to keep his mouth shut. Voted up and useful!


tyeslater6 profile image

tyeslater6 5 years ago from MN

very cute and funny, Nice work


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

How very true SJmorningsun! Great point!

Thank you for stopping by!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

I have been frequently told to hold my tongue. I will try to follow your suggestions.


Husky1970 5 years ago

So true. Excellent advice Sunshine625. This hub is full of wisdom. Voted up and useful.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

You yourself must be extremely nice.. I say what's on my mind.. my pops told me to say what I mean.. and yeah it gets me into trouble.. a curcuit judge got a new and hat and asked me if I liked it.. I said it beats the hell out of that horrible toupee.. I know I should have said nothing


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I often find myself yelling "The Sky Is Falling" I usually get some pretty strange looks :). Enjoyed your hub.


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 5 years ago from Virginia

Awesome points to follow. As always you have made some great points while the using the great art humor to make your points. Wow how many times can I use the word "points". I think I have been playing to much WWF lately...as earning "points" is always in my head these day. Voted up and funny.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

@Frank ... Hahaha! A circuit judge would have been a good time to compliment his robe or gavel!!!

@Husky, thank you :)

@Susan, I've tried the Sky is Falling, it didn't work.

@Vinaya ... my tongue was sore from biting many, many times until my daughters got me started on my new habit a few years ago!

@cogerson LOL good point!!!


Kat 5 years ago

Help my tongue is bleeding and won't stop! Explanation for lack of my activity on twitter & FB. Ha! Seriously, this is a great reminder for everyone. Sometimes we open our mouths without thinking first. This is why your moniker is Sunshine. Thanks again!!


marellen 5 years ago

Good advice but sometimes a word doesn't need to be spoken and people can read fascial and body language too. Good advice though but sometimes so hard to curtail.


Cloverleaf profile image

Cloverleaf 5 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

Hi Sunshine,

I have to bite my tongue a LOT, especially at work, and frequently chew on my cheek too LOL!!! One major thing I've learned in life is NEVER tell a person that they are wrong, no matter how wrong wrong wrong they are. Just sit quietly, shutup, and accept that you know they are wrong...and that is all that matters.

Loved the hub Sunshine, as always you bring me sunshine every day! Have a SUPERB weekend.

Cloverleaf.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Think before you speak...there are some exceptions Kat, we are human :))

marellen ... yes there are times when body language can be used, I've seen plenty of "birds" flying!! Hahaha!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Oh Cloverleaf, not telling someone when they are wrong is a DIFFICULT one...even Sunshine has problems with that. If they are wrong and you know that for a FACT I think we should correct them in a diligent way. If we don't then they will go forward thinking they are correct when they aren't. They will look foolish. I guess it all depends on the person...maybe they should look foolish! That was a good one!


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 5 years ago from USA

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." My mother said this to me so many times! I used to be a lot better at it than I am now. It seems like the older I get, the more trouble I have being subtle! However, I did REALLY enjoy your hub!


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

I too believe in biting my tongue, not rocking the boat, or minding my own business, and most of the time I manage to do just that. There are occasions when the heart and soul hurt so much that you can't help but to lash out. I enjoyed this hub, it brought back memories of my dear old mum who also told me "their bark is worse than their bite" x


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Stephanie and bluestar...you both had me think of my mom. She always, ALWAYS told it like it was. Left no stoned unturned. It might be where I picked up my biting the tongue from UNTIL my daughters retrained my brain many years ago. I like it much better on this side of the tracks. Thanks for your comments :)


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California

My mother always quoted Thumper's mother when she told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I do try to follow that rule.....even when it is so hard to do. If I must comment, I do try to find the silver lining. Great hub, voted up, useful, and funny.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Sunshine....this is a real "THINKER." If we would all see most situations as a challenge, we'd get very creative, thus avoid hurting someone with perhaps the "obvious" truth? Know what I mean? Like when an obese person asks the question that makes one cringe: "Do I look FAT in this?" Here's 2 suggestions: "Oh, that color brings out your pretty eyes!" or "Those shoes are perfect for that dress!"...You are a wizard....always give us something important to think about! Thanks.


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Hi Sunshine, I love the belch diversion!

Biting your tongue isn't always easy to do, but sometimes it is definitely for the best!

Great advice and great hub, thanks for sharing.


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

To Make Peace With What Is Not Valued By You May Be Hard,But Consider The Calm You Get From Not Having A Conflict....Live And Let Live.;)


Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 5 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

Great advice my dad gave to me.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

K. Burns, the silver lining is always nice :)

Paula, I considered "do I look fat" but opted out, thank you for adding it! :)

Movie Master, I never used the belch but I'm sure someone did, somewhere!

Bryan, Oh yes, the calm is so wonderful!!!

Fiddleman, very wise dad :)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

Hi Sunshine! My mother once told me, "Don't let your mouth write a check that your behind can't cover." These words of advice have saved me many times.

I think you offer some great advice and wisdom in this fantastic hub. The three I use the most are: Bite your tongue, say something positive instead, offer a compliment regarding something else.

Voted up, up and away!!!


LADYBUG 5 years ago

WELL MS SUNSHINE, YOU HAVE SAID IT ALL AGAIN,, SUCH WISE WORDS,, I BEED TO HEED THIS WARNING AT TIMES,, SOMETIMES I TOO PIT THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE, OR SHOULD SAY, OPEN MOUTH INSERT FOOT OR SOMETIMES EVEN BOTH FEET.. I LOVE THE BUMBLEBEE HOUSE IDEA.. SO ONE OF MY FAVORITE SAYINGS IS WHEN I ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT MAY IRRATATE SOMEONE, I SAY ZIPPING UP FLAME SUIT.. NOW INSTEAD OF THAT I WILL JUST, OPEN MOUTH AND PRETEND TO YAWN, THAT MAT HELP.. SO ONCE AGAIN TY FOR ROMINDING IS ALL TO BE KIND .. XOXOXO


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Hi Dexter! Excellent advice from your mother, thank you for sharing it with us! :)

Hi ladybug, I speak from the heart and from experience...I'm honored you appreciate it. Thank you!


jean2011 profile image

jean2011 5 years ago from Canada

Great advice, I share a similar view. I vote this hub as useful.


Barbara Turpin profile image

Barbara Turpin 5 years ago from N. California

Sunny! Sunny! Sunshine!!

I would not (never say never) intentionally hurt someone's feelings....(unless they screw with my kids!). I've been on the "hurt feelings" side.

Someone said it (Dexter?), but my MIL said it, with a twist...."don't overload your a** with your mouth" WISE!

I HAVE discovered ~ the older I get, the more obnoxious I am with my opinions, likes, and dislikes, without sarcasm or being UGLY.... God doesn't like ugly, and I don't want Him mad at ME!

Wise words, truthful words, and...I will be nice!

I used to tell my kids "there are 2 ways to say something. Right way and wrong way... Please chose the right/dignified way"

(man! I'm dying for some cheesecake!)

I voted up and "other things"


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

I think I will try the belching as a distraction technique the next time I am involved in an awkward conversation. :-)

Usually I am a fan of just changing the subject with something else happening at the same time. I am convinced that is why many difficult conversations occur at restaurants. There is so much going on, it is easy to jump from the awkward conversation right to: "Oh, look at what she got! That dessert looks delicious!" No one can resist talking about a delicious dessert!

Great hub and voted up!


SusieQ42 5 years ago

"Open mouth, insert foot!" That's what I do...sometimes. Although I try not to, yet I'm only human. Love, Susieq


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Thanks for the input, ideas and suggestions Susie, Jeannie, Barbara and Jean! They are always appreciated :)


jacqui2011 profile image

jacqui2011 5 years ago from Leicester, United Kingdom

Great hub full of wisdom. I find myself often having to "bite my tongue" especially around my partners ex when she drops her son off. She is always sarcastic and full of cheeky comments to me. It's difficult not to "bite back" but I will definitely be good and say nothing or be in another room! Thanks for the tips.


Cathleena Beams profile image

Cathleena Beams 5 years ago from Lascassas, Tennessee

Great philosophy that saves friendships and stops fights. Yep, you got that right! ;o)


Fennelseed profile image

Fennelseed 5 years ago from Australia

Great advice, and I always used to say to my chidren as they were growing up, if someone is being unkind or cruel to you, just walk away, don't stoop to their level and retaliate. A great, pratical hub. My votes to you Sunshine for your wisdom.


Reprieve26 profile image

Reprieve26 5 years ago from Oregon Coast

Great hub-- I enjoyed the chuckles. Is it bad that I usually only have to practice your advice around blood relatives? ;)

Voted up!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

@reprieve ... I totally understand!!! :)

Thank you for your comments and sharing your wisdom!!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Sunshine,

I love your silliness along with the great advice. Well done! I, too often, have to bite my tongue :)

Sharyn


lyjo profile image

lyjo 5 years ago

Love it...I too am opinionated...much to outspoken...but I wouldn't hurt a fly...so to speak...look forward to reading more...voted up & everything else...take care!


makusr profile image

makusr 5 years ago from India

Sunshine,

Greetings from MAKUSR. I am so happy to read this. In Hindi we have a saying,

Speak truth,Speak pleasantly

Don't speak unpleasant truth

Thanks for sharing.

Lots of Love,

MAKUSR


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Thank you Makusr! I appreciate your Hindu saying ... we could all learn from it :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Haha! This might be a great one:) lol I do love this message and totally agree - I hate when people knock each other down. I like to see people help each other up instead!


Injured lamb profile image

Injured lamb 5 years ago

Agree with you much Sunshine625, if we aren't able to say something nice, just bike our tongue and say nothing at all...thanks for having the great job done Sunshine625, appreciate it much...cheers!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Thank you for your comments. This is a perfect hub for today :)


ehnaa profile image

ehnaa 4 years ago from Amman

so nice article i want to be as you

my fairst article

http://hubpages.com/relationships/love-feeling

thanks


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Thanks for sharing your "first" hub ehnaa.


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

I think this is very true, which is why alot of times you won't hear me talk about others in a way that's negative unless I expect the same. I just think it promotes bad energy to be negative. And even though it's hard, it works out in the long run. Great hub!


kelleyward 4 years ago

Loved it. Just what I needed first thing in the morning.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Laughing....belch? Nice words of wisdom. Right now across our nation there are Hubbers belching in public. No wonder you are my idol. Great job!


tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

Great words spoken with wisdom , , ,


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

Great, you have now given billybuc a good excuse to go around belching all the time...*sigh* Just joking. This is a gret Hub and an ever greater idea. I try my hardest to practice the "nothing nice to say then shut up!" rule. Im not always successful but for those instances when I fail to follow the rule I always find an apology works wonders :)


Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 4 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

I try to live by that, not always easy :)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Alecia ~ Kelley ~ tsmog ~ billybuc ~ Ardie ~ Uninvited Writer ... I appreciate your comments! We all try, yet there are times when you just can't help yourself. Practice makes perfect!:)


ishwaryaa22 profile image

ishwaryaa22 4 years ago from Chennai, India

Another wise hub from you. I totally agree with you. We should not offend others and try to be tactful to an extent. I could not help smiling at the'giant bumble bee'. My parents taught me to be polite to many others and try not to be blunt or sound too open and rude. Your hub taught me more.

Thanks for sharing. Interesting,Funny and Useful. Vote up and socially shared.


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

I think that one of the keys to avoiding criticizing others is to stop thinking so critically. When I focus on positivity, and look for the good, I find that I don't have nearly as many negative things to say.

The other key is to recognize the right of the other person to live the way they want, just as you would want to live the way you want. Different is just different, it doesn't have to be better or worse.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Thank you ish and MT for teaching us all more then we might know. Your comments are appreciated.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

Fantastic hub, Miss Sunshine! :) Laughed, cried, voted up and more. :)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Thanks TT. I'm glad to hear I made you do all that! :)


AMK 2 years ago

I so needed this message today. Thank you. God bless you!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 2 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

You are very welcome AMK.

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