I'm 50 Today


 I looked in the mirror to see some signs,

Like Dark spots or some tiny lines.

"You don't have any wrinkles" my friends say

but how long will it stay that way?

Wow, they exclaim, the big 5-0,

 I don't feel any different though

Then when I turned 40 or 30 or 20

Except now I have kids and a lot more money

What if I am a young person in mind and heart

trapped in the body of some old fart

I mean what if my mind and heart stay so young

and I am too old to move or get anything done

Will I still be nutty and funny, in one place

when age spots and wrinkles DO cover my face

And will I even laugh at my incontinence too

and say to my kids HA! I peed on YOU!!

I get kids who check me out

and I yell "I Could be your mom"

I mean whats that about? 

My son even gets upset and he'll shout

Hey don't you remember we used to hang out?

This is my mom, you met her before

When you came to the house and she answered the door

He sits back in a huff cursing under his breath

still I think Its kinda fun that I'm an M-I-L-F....

But as I look in the mirror I realize

that someday my eyelids will droop over my eyes

and I'll have those lovely laugh lines surrounding my mouth

and everything else below my neck will go south....

But today people think I look young and I feel great

So, whats the big deal if I  tell them I just turned 38?

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Comments 78 comments

tantrum profile image

tantrum 6 years ago from Tropic of Capricorn

LOL ! Happy Birthday !!! No comments. I don't want to be naughty ! LOL (jk) Cheers !

justom profile image

justom 6 years ago from 41042

Happy Birthday youngster, you look great. You should be proud to be a MILF. As far as what you'll look like later, so what, we all eventually look and act kinda like old farts. I think it's fun, you have an excuse for being a goofball. Have a great day, Peace!! Tom

sarmack profile image

sarmack 6 years ago from Washington

It appears that you are blessed! Why not be proud of overcoming the adversity in life and living to such an age? 50 seems young to me now, but on that milestone date, I celebrated being alive.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Hey Tantrum, Justom and Sarmack - Thank you for dropping in and your wonderful good wishes. I am lucky to have been so genetically blessed, I realize that. I am however glad that I learned at a young age to spend a lot more time on who I am and a lot less time on what I look like. Thanks again Guys!!

resspenser profile image

resspenser 6 years ago from South Carolina

Be happy, I've been getting the white haired discount for years!

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Resspenser - LOL....I tell you what, just today, ON my birthday, I get a letter from AARP. I ripped it up and threw it out. I was like, you people aren't getting me for atleast 12 more years!!!

Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 6 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Enjoy the day!

ralwus 6 years ago

Well bless your dimpled chin. You don't look a day over 49. LOL I think maybe you just inspired a new pome just for you Miss MILF. You look so lovely and youthful and you can pee on me any ol' time. I'd still laugh.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

LOL...You kill me. You completely kill me Charlie. That was so funny. As usual it was GREAT to have you come by and crack me up. You are such a character.

saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Happy 50th. You don't look a day past 21 Cheers and stay away from eating too much cake, don't want to lose your girlish figure:0)))

PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Fifty sounded old to me a few years ago. Now I'm wishing I were that young again. Happy b-day to you, hbty, hb dear Moonchild60, hbty. You look great.

always exploring profile image

always exploring 6 years ago from Southern Illinois


great hub

Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Happy (belated?) birthday Moon!! You look fabulous..and you are fabulous. I loved your poem and laughed all the way through. Have one on me :)

Joshua Kell profile image

Joshua Kell 6 years ago from Arizona

Cool hub! I just had my birthday 2 days ago, and had many of the same thoughts (I will never say how old I am though). "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so" - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Thanks.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Paraglider - Thank you very much, it was in fact a lovely day.

Saddlerider1 - I was so good, I only had 1 piece of cake!

PegCole - Thank you so much, I will enjoy this while I can...

Always Exploring - Thank you, I hope I keep going!! LOL...

Green Lotus - Oh I am glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the well wishes!

Joshua - Oh come on, how old? I will never tell. It will be our little secret...lol...You are right, it is an illusion, it is all an illusion... : )

FCEtier profile image

FCEtier 6 years ago from Cold Mountain

People I know who have studied kinesology [sp?] and architecture of the body say that the body was designed to last over 140 years.

So you're still twenty years away from "middle aged" !!!


Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

FCEtier - Hi. I love it. Technically I have a LONG way to go. Excellent. I would love to reach my 100's (with all my facilities, even if they are not in the best shape). Hey, there's a goal ha? Thanks so much for coming by!

KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

Your a beautiful 50. Age is just a matterof the mind. You are only as old as you feel. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Welcome to the over 50 club.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Wow, thank you KoffeeKlatch Gals - I agree with you - it is all in our heads. I do think we are only as old as we feel and I go to the gym 3 -4 times a week and lift weights and try to eat healthy and I think that that goes a long way in our not "feeling" our age. I don't think 50 is what is used to be anyway. I am very young at heart and I don't think that hurts either!! : )

nextstopjupiter profile image

nextstopjupiter 6 years ago from here, there and everywhere

Don't worry, be happy, and my best wishes for the next 50 years!

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Hi nectstopjupiter - Thank you very much for your good wishes. Interesting name and that would be an interesting journey!

Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

Happy birthday--a few days late. I turned 50 in 2008 and realized that if I can live to the age of 142, I will make it to the 22nd century. (I'm not sure that would be a good thing, though.....)

Happy birthday.


Just A Voice 6 years ago

You look fabulous!!! Happy Birthday :)

TattoGuy 6 years ago

I still think you have that same beauty that you have in yer profile pic, deff the Captain wud have ya in his bunk, belated Happy Birthday ya lil stunner xox

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Hi Mike!! Thank you. 142? Has that ever been done???

Justavoice - Thank you. And thank you for your lovely compliment.

TatooGuy - Thank you for the belated birthday wishes and Thank you for the nice commpliment my friend. Good to know the Captain would "have me" in his bunk...LOL...

gusripper profile image

gusripper 6 years ago

Happy birhday moon child,and may your days from now on be all special.Am 42 and i feel 13

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Hi Gus - Thank you...see, see what I mean, you feel 13...I am 50 and I still feel like I am 21 (I often think that way too)... It really is just a number isn't it?

gusripper profile image

gusripper 6 years ago

always is a number.Anyway your name means that you are always a CHILD....

Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Congratulations MC, I can just see the T-shirt: "Help! I'm a Kid Trapped in an Old Fart's Body!" Great poem--please follow it up with a hub on your diet and exercise routine so we all can keep up. =:)

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Gus - Yes, it is always a number and you are right, I am always a child. HA!!

Winsome - I wish I had a diet and exercise program. Basically I try to eat healthy and not much. I don't eat much fast food or junk food. I work on the elliptical 3-4 times a week (go a good 3.5 miles each time) and work with weights. Thats pretty much it. Honestly, I think the fact that i had horribly oily skin most my life (as a kid I had to wash my face 2-3 times a day) has kept the wrinkles away. So it stunk when I was a teenager, but the pay off makes it worth it.

ralwus 6 years ago

Still thinking yer gorgeous here. Even better, just don't have the right word for it now. x

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Wow Charlie. I love when you come 'round.... : )

geegee77 profile image

geegee77 6 years ago from The Lone Star State!!

I think you look great and I loved your poem, I hope to be so lucky in 6 short years ha voted up:)ge

Japemwellows profile image

Japemwellows 6 years ago from 5ifth Dimensi0n

Enjoyed reading this hub alot, indeed you are a milfy milf..

Wow 50 no way!! =0

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

GeeGee - Thank you very much!! I appreciate your coming by and commenting.

Jape - Thank you! That was a very enthusiastic no way, I am flattered!!!

James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

You look great! I have always enjoyed our little conversations. You are a good woman.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

James!!! Still writing that book? Thank you for coming by and seeing me. I have always enjoyed out little converssations as well, that is why I miss you. I have no one to spar with, no one to challenge my way of thinking or make me see things in a different way. Not terribly enlightening these days. So hurry back!! : D

James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

I finished the first draft last week. Today I am starting on revisions. Thanks for asking. :-)

epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

...well after reading your hubs (aplenty) I am 19 today!

(give or take 33)

stars439 profile image

stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Happy Birthday. You look much younger and having love in your heart will keep you young forever. God Bless You.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Epigramman - I am glad you are 19 today...we are as young as we feel right? Or ... Or it is a state of mind in which case, in spite of our age, we can remain young till we die!!!

Stars439 - Yes, love does amazing things. Both giving and recieving it...thank you.

Financial Help profile image

Financial Help 6 years ago from Florida

You definitely don't look anywhere near 50 keep taking care of yourself!

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

FH - Thank you. I do. Workout 5 times a week and try to eat healthy. (of course I do need the occasional chocolate)... : D

upal19 profile image

upal19 6 years ago from Dhaka

I hope and wish you will reach hundred. You are so young in 50 just like a sweet 16. God bless.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

upal19 - You made my day my friend, thank you. : )

Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Beautiful still.


Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Thank you Neil. Right back atcha... : D

Maggie-May profile image

Maggie-May 6 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

Ha ha ha! Loved the read, absolutely fantastic and so much fun!!!!!

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Thanks Maggie!! Glad you stopped by...

NikiiLeeReyes 6 years ago

Happy birthday hope I'm not too little too late; btw great poem, like wine we only get sweeter with age :)

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Hi NikiiLee and thank you so much. Never too late, my friend!!

NikiiLeeReyes 6 years ago

haha ^_^ blessed be

TattoGuy 6 years ago

Happy New Year Hotstuff x

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Happy New Year Honey!!! Hope 2011 brings you happiness and prosperity!

Baileybear 6 years ago

wow, you look good

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 6 years ago Author

Thanks!! Nice of you to say so!!

JeanieR profile image

JeanieR 6 years ago from Sequoia National Forest, CA

Having crossed that line some time back, along with many of my friends, I can tell you that aging is a state of mind...one you definitely do not have, Looking forward to your brirthday poem when you turn 70. This 50 one is too much fun!

michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland

Hi Moonchild60, Have just come across this Hub although i see it is from a few months ago. Really glad i found it as i think it is really good and very funny. I hope you have had a good time in the months since turning 50! Cheers. Michael.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

Thank you Michael!! They have been interesting months to be sure. Hope to see you again soon!!

lobonorth profile image

lobonorth 5 years ago

Minds break down along with their bodies - which goes first is the problem. I enjoyed the poem, though.


Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

Great Lobo - Now you scared me. LOL...Nice to see you, please come by again soon.

zzron profile image

zzron 5 years ago from Houston, TX.

Happy Belated Birthday! I'll be 50 this year in July.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

OOowwww July what? I am the 6th and Congratulations!!! Have a drink for me.

Ghaelach 5 years ago

Hi Moonchild.

A belated happy birthday for your big 50.

When I look at some of the girls today they are just beautiful and bring a tear to the eyes of an old fart like me. But then when I look at the women in your age group they bring a smile to my wrinkled mouth and I think wow look at her, that's a lady, she has class and is very elegant.

So don't you be worrying your self about old age, it brings with it a lot of experience and suphistication, something that the young girls have got to earn. lol


Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

Ghaelach - Thank you very much for your wonderful sweet and terribly generous comment. It brought a smile to my face and I hope when I do get my laugh lines I remember those of you who helped me acquire them and how much joy the journey was. It is wonderful to meet you and I certainly hope I see you round the hub pages again soon!

dramatis personae profile image

dramatis personae 5 years ago from USA

I'm not sure what 50 is supposed to look like......but you look amazing no matter what age...I hope 50 is a wonderful age and well beyond.......wishing you many, many more.

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

Thank you very much DP. Just got my hair cut today and a new style. Takes me ages to get up the guts to do this. So I will be posting a new avatar. Lets hope me still lookin good. LOL...Hope to see you soon...

skellie profile image

skellie 5 years ago from Adelaide

Yeah happy 50th Moonchild60. Let me just say, your friends are right. You do still look gorgeous! You sound like you have a very happy life and that is great to read.

Loved it :D Awesome and up

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

Thanks Skellie!!! : D

tritrain profile image

tritrain 5 years ago from United States

Wow! I thought you were in your low 20's! :O

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

I love you tritrain. : D Now we are officially best friends forever. LOL...Thank you.

katiem2 profile image

katiem2 5 years ago from I'm outta here

What a great poem, you do look amazing and let your youthful thoughts and attitudes rock on, let nothing pull you back in time, be exactly who you are and being true to that will keep you forever young. :) Katie

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

Thanks Katie!!! Oh I do enjoy seeing you!! LOL...

Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

Thanks Katie!!! Oh I do enjoy seeing you!! LOL...

Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

Hi Moonchild60 ... I think you look amazing but what makes you even more attractive is your attitude to ageing.

As an old fart it seems a long time since I was a MILF but I'm much happier now I don't have to worry about age spots and wrinkles - they're here and I'm concentrating on being a dotty, old English lady ...lol.


Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 5 years ago Author

Hi Angie - It is wonderful to 'meet' you! Thank you for taking the time to read my hub and leave a comment too! Well there you go, you see you are happy where you are and I just know I am going to be happy when I get there too!! Can I be a dotty old English lady also? My mothers maternal side of the family was from Devonshire and Yeovil back in the 1600's when they first came to the Americas!! (I even drink my tea with milk and sugar). LOL...Hope to see you again Angie!!

Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

Most impressed, Moonchild, by your ancestry ... I live in Devon at present but as I am a bit of a gypsy I am already planning another move to an even more romantic place.

And yes, you can be a dotty, old English lady too on the strength of your predecessors.

All the best ...

Emre 2 years ago

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