I’m Done Acting As If Fat-Free, Low Fat And Other Substitute Foods Are Delicious!
I’m all for all of us eating healthier so that people don’t think we’re walking beached whales instead of human beings. I myself have recently lost some weight by doing the only thing that ever really works, counting the calories on what goes into my mouth (and lessening what goes in) and at the same time taking my tired old ass to the gym at least three to four times a week. I’ll admit that I get excited when the latest 100 calorie packaged something or other comes out. I buy it but after having tasted more than a few bad ones I’ve decided that I’d rather have one square of real Hershey’s chocolate for that 100 calories (or whatever it is) than sixteen cardboard crunchy supposed cookies that are somehow supposed to resemble Oreos or some other real cookie that actually tastes like something. I’m done acting as if fat-free, low fat and other substitute foods are delicious! – Don’t Get Me Started!
I remember years ago when my best pal’s husband was diagnosed with cancer they went on a complete macrobiotic diet. I went to visit them during this period and I’ll never forget the first meal we sat down and had. It was tofu enchiladas. As my pal, Jodie served them with great pride I was more than a little suspicious but as they were going through rough times I figured that suffering through this meal couldn’t possibly be as bad as the cancer her husband was going through so I convinced myself to just eat them and shut up. To be honest I can’t fully remember what they tasted like, I don’t think they were awful. All I can remember was she and her husband going on and on the entire meal and afterwards about how fabulous they were and didn’t I think that they were better than “real enchiladas” and wouldn’t I rather have these than anything else? That’s right, much like the people who go door to door to convince you to join their religion, I think the fervor is more created by these people wanting to convince themselves and knowing there’s safety in numbers so the more people they get to agree with them the more they can convince themselves of whatever it is they’re supposed to believe in or love whether it be Jesus of tofu enchiladas. About a year later he was in remission and we were at a Mexican restaurant eating “real” enchiladas. I couldn’t help but say to the two of them, “Are you sure you don’t want tofu enchiladas instead? I mean all the going on and on you two did about them being better than ‘real’ ones. Blah, blah, blah!” Their response was, “Shut up and pass the salsa.”
I’ve had people offer me “Not Dogs” (a vegan interpretation of a hot dog) and various other things such as Nayonaisse but the bottom line is that they all sort of taste like something resembling the food it’s supposed to represent but always falls short of the real thing. I say if you want a hot dog then have one for Chrissakes. You don’t have to eat ten of them like you’re in a Nathan’s hot dog eating contest but you can certainly have one from time to time and not worry that the supposed temple that is your body is going to crumble because you dared to not eat something organic or tasteless.
And no matter how the vegans and organic or “whole wheaters” as my spouse calls them try to convince me that their food is so delicious, I’m here to tell you that a little fat goes a long way and they’re wrong. Besides, look at these supposed healthy people with their sunken in faces and sallow complexion. If that’s healthy, count me out and pass the freaking sour cream, please.
At the end of the day, I think it’s all about moderation. I think you can eat anything as long as you don’t eat too much of it. For example, have a filet mignon not the entire cow. Or try limiting yourself to four Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies instead of a sleeve of them. This may be difficult but it isn’t nearly as difficult as eating some non-fat, no taste carob bar and trying to convince yourself and everyone around you that it’s as good as Godiva! I’m done acting as if fat-free, low fat and other substitute foods are delicious! – Don’t Get Me Started!
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