In Julie's Perspective (A Sketch Story)
Julie looks at herself in the mirror for about the fourth time in under an hour. It is almost as though she can see herself aging with every passing second. Before she knows it, she would be an old woman – useless, forgotten, boring. For now, she is still young, in her early thirties. She has a physique that turns heads, yet her attractiveness is oblivious to her own eyes. Instead, she sees and ordinary reflection in the mirror – dry, plain, unimpressive, nothing special…
Looking inside herself, Julie sees worthlessness. She is uninspired, hard on herself, cross with the negative circumstances that surround her. Life is thick with unfortunate outcomes. Things never go well for her and things never go well because of her. To Julie, everything she does is awful. Her skills are terribly lacking in every aspect.
Suddenly, the things that were of some worth to Julie, once upon a time, has become insignificant. Her talents, once considered good – satisfactory in the least –has become an anthem to how horrible everything she does is.
Julie pressures herself in all she does. She pushes herself to do better, yet, when she does better, it’s never good enough. The cycle continues on and on and on, for Julie. There is no end to the negativity and soon, she is spiraling into depression. She doesn’t see her depression as anything too severe. She can handle it herself. She can come out of it.
With no friends, and no care for friends, Julie is on her own. And she thinks that’s fine. She’s stuck dealing with other issues and shutting people out. She’s hopeless, stupid, boring, ugly, uninspired, unintelligent, insignificant, inefficient…
Julie finds a friend, someone she can talk to about her problems. Someone who is always willing to listen. Still, Julie refuses to talk to this friend face-to-face. The internet and the phone has become Julie’s sole mode of contact. She doesn’t care to form real relations. She begins to lose touch of reality. Realising this, Julie begins sinking again, down, down, down into that state of depression – much worse than before.
Julie is not in the mood to talk. Not in the mood to work, to get dressed, to get out of bed. Julie is not in the mood to live. She wishes that she’s killed by some ‘natural’ cause. That someone or something takes her life. She doesn’t have the guts to take her own life but oh how she wishes for death.
Julie, is indifferent. Julie is dead.
Depression and Low Self-Esteem Today
Julie is a fictional character but based on a real person - or rather, real people. In this day and age, low self-esteem and depression is becoming an epidemic, even a pandemic. Doctors are beginning to prescribe antidepressants to children as young as five years old. Antidepressants are being handed out like candy.
In 'Western' countries, low self-esteem and depression is at an all time high. This mainly has to do with the materialistic culture and the influence of the media (e.g. television, magazines, etc...). While low self-esteem occurs mostly in teens, it can affect anyone at any age. Even upper-class women and men of all ages can experience low self-esteem.
Prolonged feelings of self worthlessness can lead to depression, perhaps not clinical depression, but a depressed state. A depressed state, while not as 'dangerous' as clinical depression (which requires medical and psychiatric treatment) can develop into clinical depression if not taken care of.
How Do You Know When You Have Low Self-Esteem?
A person with low self-esteem:
- Has little or no confidence
- Avoids social situations
- often appears to be sad
- is negative and pessimistic
- takes criticism very hard
- does not see his/her own talents (or anything good about himself/herself)
- is afraid to take on responsibility
- can suffer from an eating disorder such as anorexia (this is an extreme case)
Common Causes of Low Self-Esteem
- Physical Appearance: We often compare ourselves to others, especially when it comes to looks. Even though someone is attractive, they may feel ugly compared to someone else. Constantly feeling this way, leads to low self-esteem.
- Negative Experiences: experiencing something unfortunate, such as an illness or being a victim of abuse, can contribute to low self-esteem.
- Being Neglected: If a child grows up in a non-loving or cold home, they could feel neglected. Adults, who feel distanced from loved ones can also have a sense of neglect.
- Failure: When people work hard to achieve something they really want, and the fail at it, that can really crush their self-worth. Unemployment, is one extreme example of failure.
- Being Overly Criticized: If a person is repetitively told that they are bad at something (or everything), the lose respect for them self. They begin to feel pathetic and worthless. This leads to the loss of optimism.
A Few Tips for Increasing Self-Esteem
Like most mental states, low self-esteem may be hard to get over. Some ways to combat low self-esteem is as follows:
- Try to avoid negative people and negative situations
- Look at the positive things
- Get some support (positive friends who believe in you is a good idea)
- Write down all the good things that happens around you
- Write down all your good attributes
- Pick something that you are good at and improve on it (make sure it's something fun. Even if it's something like yoga).
- Tell yourself that you are awesome!
Never wish death upon yourself no matter how tough things get. If you think about death, contact professional help immediately. If you are too ashamed or you feel no need to seek professional help, tell a friend how you feel. Don't keep thoughts of death to yourself.
When you're not in the mood to talk, that's the best time to talk. You never know, talking may actually boost your spirits. Listening to positive music or watching funny movies can also lift your spirits. Prayer and meditation can also do wonders!
Remember: tell yourself that you are awesome! Don't allow your low self-esteem to propel you into depression.
Read LizzyBoo's depression series
- Depression- part 1, an unwanted visitor
SOS-depression It has been such a long time since I have written an article on hubpages. It is not because I have nothing to write about. It is not because I do not want to, but because I am depressed. What...
- Depression- part 2, reasons for a bad mood
- Depression- part 3, How to get positive mind back?
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