Is it bad to cry a lot : Men's mental health
We often cry when we are suffering, when we are miserable, when we are in pain and when we are lonely without family or friends.
Effect of Crying on Men
A few months back I was jobless. I went everywhere in fact every part of this big city looking for a job and I faced rejection. Everywhere I got the typical response, “We have your resume and we will get in touch with you if there is an opening.” Of course it’s a polite way of saying that you do not meet our requirements, we do not want you. When I was struggling and trying my best to find employment, I got a call from my father he said, “You must be having fun lying on bed, watching TV, and eating unearned food. ”Later when I met my counselor and told her about my father’s sarcastic remark I could not hold back my tears and started crying. I felt relieved for time being. But it took me hours to regain my composer and ability to think clearly.
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Second time I cried when my youngest sister, a 15 year old girl, verbally abused me. All sorts of thought came to my mind I remembered how I held her in my arms when she was a small baby.
Third time I cried when my wife accused me falsely of infidelity. My mother avoided me, my sisters hated me and now my wife threatened to leave me. I felt terribly lonely. I cried, “Why should I live? For whom should I live? I have nobody in this world?” It took me days to overcome the effect of crying.
How to Control Crying
Once as I was sitting alone and thinking I realized that I was developing this bad habit of crying which was not good for my mental health. I knew that in short term It relieves one from stress and makes one feel better, but what about the long term affect. I wanted to give up this bad habit, but how? I searched on net and googled “How to control the bad habit of crying” and I got the results, “How to make your baby stop crying.” I did not find what I was looking for. Only thing I came to know that crying helps excrete the stress hormones cortisol which are present in tears and that is what makes a person feel better.
The Crying Mechanism
Crying always takes place spontaneously almost like a reflex action. According to Cognitive theory of behavior every event or stimuli in psychological terms is followed by a thought, the thoughts give rise to feelings and emotions, which finally leads to our response. In normal conditions one can decipher the thoughts that follow a stimuli, like you meet an old friend and your mind is filled with thoughts peculiar to your relationship and your state of mind, which are followed by feeling of happiness or discomfort, and finally your response which can be warm or cold. In case of painful stimuli, this chain of events take place so fast that a person can not pinpoint the thoughts behind his emotional response, that is crying. Often when a person cries he also speaks out his mind. A careful observer can guess what's going on in the mind of the person. It's easy to pinpoint the exact thoughts that are sustaining the painful stimuli which are making the person an emotional wreck.
Thus after crying one can review his own thoughts and understand the cause of his behavior. The thoughts most of the time are irrational. If you can think in a realistic and positive manner you can control your response.
Control Your Emotions
However, If the above method doesn't work then you can try this method. Whenever a painful stimuli affects you and it feels like you would start crying then shake your head vigorously. It would disrupt the neural connections in your brain and give a jolt to your mind. Immediately tears would stop welling in your eyes and then focus your mind on some positive thought. Remind yourself of your strengths and good qualities. It would definitively work. This is how I was able to give up this bad habit which was making me weak.
is it bad not to cry
As an adult man it’s not bad or wrong to cry, every man cries once in a while for good reason, but to cry frequently for insignificant trivial matters is not good for mental health. We are not school kids and we should not cry if someone teases us or humiliates us. We are grownup adult men and should act like a man.
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