It's still him...

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Just look inside......

Entering the apartment I notice that he's in his usual place...his faithful recliner. His head is tilted back a bit and his eyes are closed. Gnarled fingers grasp a wooden cane, worn smooth from years of use. It's propped between his legs. He's wearing his favorite shirt, a navy blue, white and red checkered flannel shirt. It's buttoned all the way to the neck. His blue jeans are held in place with a leather belt, his favorite. He's wearing a new pair of sketcher sneakers...glaring white. He's so damn proud of those sneakers. Loves em like they've promised to help him leap over tall buildings in a single bound. I smile as I take the sight of him in.

I quietly walk over and kiss his cheek. "Hey dad," I whisper gently. He wakes with a start and then smiles. "Hey there baby girl, how's my Cinderella?" he asks as he extends his arm out to me. We hug and I pull up a chair. We talk about this and that and everything in between. I study his face. Deep lines etch the sides of his mouth to accomodate his beautiful smile and his eyes are clouded behind thick glasses. The hair on his head has turned white and sparce, but he still takes care to comb it each day. He is neatly shaven and smells of his favorite aftershave.

My mind flits back through the years, to a time when he was young, strong and vibrant. He's worn many hats: restaurant/bar owner, big band jazz musician, carpenter. Husband, father, brother, uncle, grandpa,son, cousin and friend. His life was full back then. He has loved so many and was loved by as much. He made people laugh and he made people cry. He pissed people off. He used to be "hollywood" handsome, the classic tall, dark and good looking. Tan, lean, impeccably dressed. He had a head full of thick, dark hair and his smile was brilliantly white. His love of life was contagious and people flocked to him. He was intense and strong willed and when he entered the room, everyone knew it....not in a bad way, but in a way where he made everyone feel special. When he spoke to you he made you feel as though you were the only person in the room. He complimented freely and generously. He cared deeply and loved completely. And I miss him....for just a moment. Quite suddenly my mind comes to grip with the concept of age and I'm touched quite profoundly by one thunderous thought....how can I miss someone who is still here? Age has not taken away the man...he is filled with memories and stories and a history that is so rich, and he is more now than he ever was because of it.

My mind returns to the here and now and I look into his eyes and I see love. Though cloudy they still reflect his soul. His body is frail now and his legs are weak. But his heart is still made of pure gold and his smile still lights up a room. You would never know that he used to be a man to be reckoned with....and you would never know that he still is.

People age but never discount the fact that who they used to be, they still are. Their hearts and their souls remain the same.

When you look into those clouded eyes or you hug their frail body or you hold their gnarled hand, just remember that on the inside they are still beautiful and vibrant and they are still filled with love.

And Honor That.


This hub is in honor of my father in law, James Guzman, who passed away on June 28, 2012. I am honored to have had him in my life. RIP dad....and I love you very much.






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Comments 10 comments

onegreenparachute profile image

onegreenparachute 3 years ago from Greenwood, B.C., Canada

What a lovely hub! Your love for your father comes through warmly and clearly. Thanks so much for sharing it. Voted up and awesome.


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

thank you onegreenparachute.....that means alot!


Little Grandmommy profile image

Little Grandmommy 3 years ago from Small Town Tennessee

This really is a touching hub! My Dad is gone now and I miss him all of the time. Thank you.


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

Little Grandmommy, thanks for reading and for your comment!!


Anna Haven profile image

Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

His personality and soul came across so well in you writing, as did the clear message of remembering we don't change only our bodies age. A brilliant hub and a beautiful tribute.


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

Anna Haven, thank you so very much for reading this and for your kind comment..!


eddiecarrara profile image

eddiecarrara 3 years ago from New Hampshire

This is absolutely beautiful! You have a way with words, I felt like I was in the room with you. He is a true legacy and will be missed very much.


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

eddiecarrara, thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful comment....coming from you, it means a lot!! xo


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

....and I certainly honor your fabulous writing style which reminds me of my recipe for great prose in whatever genre - always write from your heart and the mind will follow and you certainly do both so well here on a world class level. Thank you for the sentimental storyline but told in such a realistic fashion which make it come to life in a mini movie in my cinematic mind.

So nice to meet you and sending warm wishes and good energy from Colin and his cats at lake erie time ontario canada 6:01pm


moonfairy profile image

moonfairy 3 years ago Author

epigramman, Wow...thank you so much for your amazing comment! It brought a smile to my morning. And thank you for taking the time to read this hub.....

It's nice to meet you as well and sending good energy right back at you in Ontario =)

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