How Excitement Can Easily Turn Into Worry and Anxiety

We all love to get excited. It helps us look forward to the positive events of our lives.
We all love to get excited. It helps us look forward to the positive events of our lives. | Source

Excitement is fun!

Yeah! We are going to Grandma's house! As children, we used to jump up and down when we heard the news, whether going to Grandma's, or just down the street for an ice cream cone, we looked forward to the event with great anticipation!

Excitement is one of the most positive of emotions. We feel exuberant and ecstatic! Our hearts beat wildly as we think about the good things that will happen when the event occurs. We talk about it, think about it, and dream about it. We pack our bags and wait at the door until it is time to leave.

Then our parents look at us and say, "Whoa! Wait a minute, it is not time yet! We won't be leaving until next week!" Our excitement quickly turns to worry and we sulk back to our rooms, afraid that something will happen and we won't be able to go. Why did they tell us we were going if it wasn't even time!

We have all learned that we have to be careful not to "let the cat out of the bag" before the right time. Children live very much in the moment and if we tell them we are going, we had better be going, and soon!

Waiting until it is time to get ready keeps them from the roller coaster of excitement followed by worry. As adults, we are much more cognizant of timelines, schedules, and plans. We are able to set aside our excitement for a time, and go about our daily activities while waiting for the time to pass.

This ability to set limits on our excitement and bring it under containment is the key to keeping normalcy in our lives. We are able to keep worry at a minimum because we know how to set limits. Unfortunately, this system of checks and balances can malfunction. It may be missing altogether or has ceased to work properly.

When this happens, we are unable to set anticipatory thoughts aside. Rather, they run amok, like a herd of wild elephants. Our excitement turns into worry and its attendant physical symptoms. We end up with anxiety, unable to turn off our thoughts. The chart below shows how the physical manifestations of excitement evolve into the negative symptoms of anxiety.

Excitement
Anxiety
The heart beats faster, with blood flowing more rapidly
Sweating, pain/tightness in the chest
Rapid, shallow breathing
Lightheadedness, headaches, and dizziness
Increased digestive juices
Rumbling, nausea, and cramping
Parastaltic action in the intestines
Diarrhea
Increased nerve activity in the muscles and skin
Itching, irritation, and exzema
Racing thoughts
Hyper awareness

Excitement can turn into worry

Excitement becomes worry when our positive thoughts take a negative turn. Just like a roller coaster headed downhill, they gather momentum, multiplying until they are all consuming. We know our worry has turned into anxiety when the accompanying physical symptoms become problematic.

When we don't set limits, excitement can easily snowball. We trip all over ourselves and end up in a heap of worry!
When we don't set limits, excitement can easily snowball. We trip all over ourselves and end up in a heap of worry! | Source

In order to keep this from happening, we have to recognize the thinking patterns that are part of the problem. They include:

  • What if questions - asking "what if" certain things will happen.
  • Assumptions - making decisions based on information that we do not know is true or accurate.
  • Unrealistic expectations - building our hopes so high that they are sure not to be realized.
  • Jumping to conclusions - thinking that we know what will happen based on our own knowledge and experience.

The paragraphs that follow talk about these thinking patterns and what we can do to counteract them.

"What if" questions

"What if" questions often bring out our deepest fears, including abandonment, rejection, ill health, and death. We ask these types of questions because we do not know what is in the future. Life is unpredictable and we are unable to see past the current moment.

This inability to see into the unknown brings with it a plethora of possibilities, most of which will not likely happen. When we think about them, however; we increase their likelihood in our own minds, and bring them closer to our field of vision.

Realizing this, the best way to combat these thoughts is to use the following techniques:

  • Thought stopping - simply shout "STOP" in your mind, or picture a stop sign.
  • Visualization - visual the worst thing that could happen. Then think about what the results would be and how to handle it.
  • Distraction - put on some lively music and do something physically active.

Distraction is one way to help us move away from worry and anxiety.
Distraction is one way to help us move away from worry and anxiety. | Source

As we deal with these thoughts, we grow in our understanding of how and why they are distorted, and we are able to recognize what we can do to set limits on them. Once we do, our power over them is increased and they are less likely to affect our emotions.

Assumptions

When we assume, we make decisions based on information that we have not yet checked out for accuracy and truth. This often happens when we think we know why someone has done a particular thing. We go forward, thinking that we know their reasoning, motives, and beliefs.

For example, we receive a phone call from someone and they do not leave a message. We might assume that they do not like us, or that they do not want to talk to us. In reality, perhaps they received another call right when they were planning to leave the message, and they were unable to do so.

The danger with assumptions is that we are usually wrong. We do not know what others are experiencing, thinking, or feeling. We cannot see their thought processes and what has happened for them to make the decisions that they do.

Making assumptions is basically "mind reading." It is putting ourselves on dangerous ground that has no foundation. Our relationships will definitely be "on the rocks" if we engage in this practice regularly. To stop making assumptions, we have to question the information that we are using to make our decisions. If it comes from what we "think" others are "thinking" or "feeling," we are making assumptions.

Unrealistic expectations

Unrealistic expectations are things that we desire to have happen, and in our desire, we picture them to be bigger than they are in actuality. As we do so, we get our hopes up, and expect certain things to happen, when in reality, they most likely will not come to pass.

Using the example mentioned previously of going to Grandma's house. Children may think that upon arrival, they will be welcomed with open arms, good food, gifts, a comfortable bed, and plenty of love. In reality, Grandma may be aging, has stopped baking, cannot afford gifts, and needs assistance with a major housecleaning project!

Children who have not been prepared adequately for these realities may be keenly disappointed and think that Grandma no longer loves them. Parents must be very careful to be aware of the things their children are thinking and feeling in comparison to reality. Talking through what is happening ahead of time will help to keep unrealistic expectations at a minimum.

As adults, increasing our awareness of what is happening in the lives of those around us, and vocalizing what we see, helps us to work together with our immediate and extended families to keep expectations within the realistic realm. Otherwise, we end up being disappointed in one another rather than rejoicing in our kinship and developing much needed camaraderie.

Which thought processes do you engage in most?

  • "What if" thinking
  • Assumptions
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Jumping to conclusions
  • A combination of the above
  • None of the above
See results without voting

Jumping to conclusions

Children are notorious for jumping to conclusions. Not having the cognitive skills to understand "if this, then that," they miss important information. As adults, sometimes we even find ourselves doing this very thing. The danger with jumping to conclusions is that we think we have all the cards in the deck to make a move, but in reality, we do not. We make a move prematurely, and end up being embarrassed, put on the spot, or even frustrated and upset.

When we worry, our thoughts are moving at a faster rate than normal, and they tend to jump ahead before all the ground work has been laid. We think we are ready, having our suitcases packed, then when we get to where we are going, something is missing.

Taking time to slow down, making lists, checking them twice, and walking through what will happen when it is time to go gives us a chance to make sure that we have everything that we need. It is far better to pack and re-pack than arrive without important items needed!

Unfortunately, this pre-occupation with preparation is a big part of anxiety. We want so much to have everything perfect, that we over prepare. Once we have checked and re-checked, we need to let go of the preparation and do something else to pass the time. We can read a good book, listen to some music, or play a game. Doing so distracts our worrisome thoughts and allows us to relax while we wait.

When we set limits on excitement, we have a good time without the worry and anxiety.
When we set limits on excitement, we have a good time without the worry and anxiety. | Source

Keep anxiety at a minimum

Because excitement often leads to worry and anxiety, it is important to recognize when we are anticipating the future. One way to tell is to focus on the present. We can ask ourselves the following questions:

  • Am I unhappy with the present?
  • Is there something happening currently that I want to change?
  • Are there people in my life that do things regularly that annoy or upset me?

If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," we are in danger of living in the future rather than the present. We feed our anxiety by making plans for a future that has not yet arrived. While it is important to prepare for our future, living in the future and making decisions based on it is a strong symptom of irrational thoughts and beliefs.

It may be necessary to have some assistance in re-establishing ourselves in the present, setting limits on our thoughts, feelings, and actions, and keeping the future in proper perspective. Anxiety and its attendant physical symptoms wreak havoc on our relationships with our immediate and extended family.

When we take the time to set limits on our excitement of future events, we are also strengthening our ability to set limits on our worry. Doing so keeps anxiety manageable and gives us the ability to see our present with a greater degree of acceptance.

Choose today to set limits on anticipation, for your emotional health.

© 2014 by Denise W. Anderson. All rights reserved.

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Comments 22 comments

catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 2 years ago from the South

Great hub denise! This is so true of how our anxiety spirals out of control. As a chronic anxiety sufferer, I am constantly working on changing my thought patterns. It's not easy, but really necessary. Great information!


Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok 2 years ago from Long Island, NY

I found you hub very interesting Denise. I have a friend who tends to get anxious when things don't go her way. She calls me up and asks me why people are treating her as they do.

I see that she becomes anxious when she doesn't understand. When I try to explain it to her she seems to get it, but then the next time something goes wrong she gets anxious again and starts blaming other people for problems that she is creating.

Your hub explained her attitude very well. I see that she is not capable of living in the moment when she gets anxious. She wants something different for the future and focuses on that instead of on how she can fix the present. That's the understanding that I got from your hub.

I was thinking of letting her read your hub, but I don't think she is a place mentally where she will understand it right now.


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 2 years ago

Beautiful and hopeful. You are still here through the pain.


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 2 years ago

Hi Glenn. Perhaps your friend has PTSD or panic attacks or anxiety disorder. She needs professional help. Blessings, Debby


Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok 2 years ago from Long Island, NY

Thanks Debby for that info. I believe you may be right.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

I am as well, catgypsy. That is one of the reasons I write. I am able to teach myself in the process of helping others. Thanks for reading and commenting!


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

You are right, Glenn, it is difficult for people who are in the middle of anxiety to see what is affecting them and why. It wasn't until I went through mental health treatment and starting becoming aware of my thought patterns that I learned this concept. Now, I know when I start to feel this way that I need to look at my thoughts and how they are contributing to the problem. Be patient with your friend, one day she will come around.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Thanks, Debby, for your comments. PTSD, panic attacks, or anxiety disorder all signal that the limit setting and emotional functions in the brain are not working properly. Mental health treatment can help to target what is happening, and give the person an understanding of how they can help themselves. When I was first diagnosed, I saw a psychiatrist for medication intervention, and a psychologist for cognitive behavioral therapy. Both were very helpful in helping me get my life back in order. Now, I just see a counselor regularly to help me keep my thoughts on track.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

I almost missed this, Denise. I had put it in a file and then forgot to look in the file. LOL

As for anxiety, I'm so glad I'm a bit wiser now that I am older. Most days are relaxed and worry-free for me. You have given much food for thought here. Well done!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 2 years ago from The Caribbean

Denise, I can relate to even the illustrations you cited with the children. Thought control is something I still have not mastered, and the emotions swinging on the thoughts can take us through a maze of feelings. This article is very helpful. Thank you.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Thanks, billy. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my hubs. I value your input. It is great that as we get older in life, we are able to prioritize more and see what is really important. As we do so, life becomes much sweeter.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

I'm glad that the article was helpful for you, MsDora. Awareness of what is happening is probably half of the battle when it comes to understanding our thoughts and feelings. Just knowing that our thoughts can lead to changes in our emotions helps us to make life better for ourselves and our loved ones. Thanks for reading and commenting!


epbooks profile image

epbooks 2 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

I loved what you wrote about letting the cat out of the bag...especially for kids. Once you tell them something, they look forward to it until the very moment. Enjoyable hub!


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Isn't that the truth, epbooks! Our children were that way. They would get so excited! We had to be very careful when and how we told them about future events. As adults, we learned that we needed to talk about things away from their presence to keep a lid on the excitement! I appreciate you stopping by.


ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 2 years ago from New Delhi, India

Wonderful hub! How effectively you have explained the two, excitement and anxiety. We don't even realize when excitement turns into anxiety.

Well, with the passing of years, I think I have become less anxious. I think most of us are more worried about, 'What if---'!

Very useful and engaging hub! Voted up as useful!


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Thanks, ChitrangadaSharan. Oftentimes, we are unaware of what is happening with our thoughts and feelings until there is a problem that blows out of proportion. "What if" thinking is especially troublesome, as it tends to snowball and become bigger and bigger. The probability of these things happening is actually quite minimal, and yet we magnify them when we think about them in this way. I appreciate your comments!


midget38 profile image

midget38 2 years ago from Singapore

Great thoughts on managing excitement and anxiety. Our feelings are roller coasters if we let them peak so much that there's nowhere else to go but down.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

You are right midget38! Our emotions can only go as low as they are high. In other words, if we have really low lows, we will probably have very high highs as well. It only stands to reason. That is why setting limits is so important. It is like reigning in a runaway horse. If we are unable to do so, somebody will get hurt, and it will most likely be ourselves. Thanks for the great comment!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

Today anxiety is on the rise and knowing how to combat the ups and downs is so important. Your advice is useful and written well.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Thanks, teaches. I believe that anxiety is on the rise due to the loss of our spiritual connection with our roots. So many people move far away from their families of origin, and end up feeling lonely and lost, that anxiety is a natural result. We also have more health issues and world concerns than ever before. It is difficult to be rooted in truth with so many voices crying out around us.


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

No control of ones feelings can turn out to be their worst ever. Another one of your greater hubs.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Thanks, DDE. You are right! When we aren't able to deal with our feelings, things can happen that are not the best! Life is such a precious gift, when we are able to understand our feelings, express them appropriately, and change them as needed, we are much happier.

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