Life Existential

Existential Crisis

Life is sometimes skewed by the ignorance of youth. Our dreams and aspirations can lead us to believe our lives will be much different than they really turn out to be. You may see yourself in a few years or decades down the line swimming in the calm secure waters of your life. That all the fast pace of life will eventually slow down as our children age, as our career takes off and we are more financially regimented. We imagine a home with all the trappings of life at our fingertips.

I recently had a revelation of sorts when thinking about my parents and all the stuff they endure even now for my siblings and I. How they have two of my siblings living in their three bedroom home in a small rural town in Oregon. One of them is disabled and the other got divorced and suffered from drug issues but was incarcerated and has now been released and is working his program to get his life on track again. But how hard for them. How hard at sixty plus years old to have two grown men living with you.

And even I still call my parents to this day. When things go bad or I feel like my relationship is rocky. I often phone up Mom and Dad to seek out parental advice. It was in one of these moments when I realized what I was doing. I look at my children all the time and dream of the days where they no longer call to me for help or where I am responcible for their mistakes. But then I saw it... my parents in their current situation.

Throughout their life with my siblings and I being adults they've had a total of three years free of their adult children. I wondered... as I starred at my children as they watched Netflix, "Is this just how life is?" and it dawned on me like the morning sun... IT IS!

This is how life is. There is no calm that will eventually become lasting. Wh, changes is not the pace of lif, It is us. We change in our acceptance of the fact that life is happening. That there is no changing it to fit our plans but that it is us ourselves that must learn to bend with life.

I used to believe that my plans were solid, set in stone and that the future wouldn't change a thing. I was so wrong. So many things have happened that did not go to plan. Am I sorry that these things changed my vision? No, I have become more accepting of what life has handed to me and I appreciate each day I have to live. I am grateful that I have not suffered more tragedy in my life and that there are so many blessings to be had and so many loved ones around me that I can share this life with.

Should I wish for more? Should I stop making plans? No, I just need to understand that all things in life are subject to change. But goals and endeavors spur us into action which lead to personal progress.

The existential realization that life does not go according to ones plan does not denote that one should not plan for the future. But that we should be willing to let life happen and not fight against it's changing tide. peace will not come from the raging sea but from acceptance. It is then that we can truly begin to embrace and enjoy our time here in this life.

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